Professor Malfoy
by lucissaa
Summary: An au where Narcissa Malfoy becomes the teacher at Hogwarts after the first war, instead of Severus Snape. pairings: Lucissa and later on Drarry. Rated M just to be sure for later chapters.
1. The deal

**his will be an au in which Narcissa Malfoy becomes a teacher at Hogwarts after the first war, instead of Severus Snape.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, just the plot.**

OoO

"So what is your answer, mrs. Malfoy?"

She was sitting in the headmaster's office at Hogwarts facing Albus Dumbledore. The past two hours they had talked about her taking a teachingjob at the school, in exchange for that the headmaster would ensure that Lucius Malfoy would go free.

Teaching at Hogwarts. Narcissa was sure she wasn't the teaching type, and it meant spending a lot of her time at school. Time she wouldn't be able to spend with her one year old son.

"I'm not sure, I'll have to discuss this with my husband. I will owl you tonight, mr. Dumbledore." The old man nodded and smiled at her politely. "I'll await your owl."

They said goodbye, and the woman left.

oOo

When Narcissa apparated into Malfoy Manor, Lucius was sitting on the dark green sofa in the drawing room, a one year old baby boy in his arms. He smiled at her and she sat next to him, stroking Draco's hair softly. "Dumbledore has asked me for a teaching job at Hogwarts."

Lucius looked up surprised, his hand rested on Draco's stomach as he looked at his wife for further explanation. She continued "He wants me to work as the new defence against the dark arts teacher and in exchange he will ensure our freedom, he is a very powerful man in the ministry, they will listen to him."

Her eyes had a spark of hope in them , Lucius was facing a lifetime in azkaban and she herself would get three years if nothing was done. Who would take care of Draco then? Her sister, Andromeda? Narcissa had to supress a shiver at the thought of that.

Lucius nodded thoughtfully "Our freedom… He will make sure neither of us will be send to Azkaban then. You'd be away from home a lot of course, but everything better than that place, especially for Draco." He smiled softly, placing a hand on his wife's thigh. "You should take the job, maybe you'll even like it, who knows?"

The blonde woman smiled and nodded "I will write to Dumbledore, can your order the elves to make dinner? I'll be back in a minute." Narcissa kissed the top of her son's head and stood up, pressing a soft kiss at Lucius' forehead before walking off to her own study.

OoO

The next day Narcissa apparated to the school in the afternoon, she had gotten a reply letter from Dumbledore that morning in which he asked to meet her around three. She would meet the other teachers, though she already knew most of them as she had gone to school here not that long ago.

She appeared just outside the grounds and found a carriage pulled by two thestrals waiting for her. The woman smiled sadly as she got inside and looked at the animals, remembering all too well why she could see them. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the glass as the carriage brought her to the main entrance of the castle.

Once inside, Narcissa had no problem finding her way through the maze like building, she was nervous for no reason it seemed, but her mask was firmly in place like always, not a person who would see through it. She stopped in front of Dumbledore's office and gave the gargoyle the password with a frown. _Lemon drops._

Albus Dumbledore sure was a powerful and wise man, but an old fool nonetheless. She placed a smile on her face as she walked up the stairs and knocked two times on the door, just loud enough to be heard inside.

The door opened magically and Narcissa stepped inside, she looked around the room to see that only Albus himself, and her old transfiguration teacher, Minerva Mcgonagall were present.

"Good afternoon sir, miss. Mcgonagall." The blonde smiled politely at the two in front of her, Albus smiled back warmly, his blue eyes twinkling. Minerva Mcgonagall, although a bit forced as Narcissa noticed, smiled too.

Narcissa sat down and looked at the man in front of her as he started speaking. "There you are Narcissa, let me introduce you to Minerva Mcgonagall. You've met before obviously, but Minerva will learn you everything you need to know in the next week so you can begin by the beginning of the new schoolyear. But first we'll need to know if you will use your private rooms, or if you'll stay at your house."

"I will live at the manor, but I do intend to use the rooms sometimes, if only to keep Draco there." She paused and looked at Albus. "And what about your part of the deal? I'm going to work here for free, but can you ensure Lucius' freedom?" Her voice was cold, but there was a tone of worry in it as she looked at the man almost pleadingly.

Albus nodded "I'm working on it Narcissa, you don't have to worry about a thing. Both you and your husband will go free from charge." She had to repress a sigh of relief and merely smiled.

"Very well then. I thinkt that's all, Minerva if you would be so kind to guide mrs. Malfoy to her rooms?" Said woman stood up and looked at the blonde smiling, a bit cold and forced as it was, to her. She nodded "Of course Albus, follow me Narcissa."

Narcissa and Minerva walked through the empty halls together and the older woman looked curiously at Narcissa. "I never thought I'd see you back at school again if I'm honest. Not as a teacher."

The blonde nodded softly "Me neither miss." But Minerva wasn't completely satisfied with the short answer. "Then why are you, Narcissa?"

Narcissa thought for a moment before answering "For my husband and son. In exchange for me working here for free, professor Dumbledore will make sure neither Lucius nor myself will be send to Azkaban." She repressed a shiver at the thought of what would happen then.

Minerva smiled softly "Still the same then? Everything for your beloved family." Before stopping in front of a wooden door. She opened it and the two women walked inside. "This is your classroom, your rooms are in the back up the stairs, you can decorate it as you like. But I assume you will stay to live at Malfoy manor?"

The young woman nodded "Yes, but I will probably use the rooms for Draco, while Lucius is at work. Am I allowed to cast warning charms over the rooms?"

"You are, I will explain everything else tomorrow, about teaching and the rules and things like that if that's alright with you?" Narcissa smiled politely and nodded. "But I will have to bring Draco with me, Lucius will be busy."

"Alright then, tomorrow at eleven am, there will be a carriage waiting for you." Minerva said goodbye and walked out of the door, leaving Narcissa alone in her rooms.

OoO

 **Sooo, I got a lot of comments about this on tumblr, and I hope you like it. This is just the beginning chapter, later on it will be better I promise (hope)**


	2. The boggart

**In this chapter there will be indication of past abuse, nothing much, and it is not detailed in anyway, just something you can assume.**

OoO

When Narcissa awoke the next morning, Draco was snuggled into her chest still asleep. Lucius had his arms wrapped around her from behind, and she moved closer to him sleepily. When he noticed his wife was awake, the man kissed her shoulder and pulled her close.

"Good morning beautiful, slept well?" Narcissa turned around to face him and nodded. The night before she had taken a few drops of the dreamless sleep potion she kept in her drawer. She wasn't allowed to take much of it due to her bad reaction at it a few years ago, but she would need the energy today.

Lucius smiled and kissed her forehead before lifting the small boy onto his chest who was awoken by his parents' talking. Draco babbled something and both Lucius and Narcissa chuckled softly. "You're one adorable little boy Draco…" Narcissa said softly, stroking the short blond hair of the child.

She sat up and stretched arms yawning. "I'll take Draco with me to Hogwarts, I don't want the elves looking after him the whole day. What time are you leaving dear?" The woman looked at Lucius who smiled at her. "Two o'clock, but I won't be home until eight pm, sorry love."

Narcissa nodded softly "It's not your fault, it's important you maintain our status, especially now. It's okay love" She smiled, but they both knew it was just a lie. Lucius knew it too, but decided not to comment on it further for her sake. Instead he sat up as well and placed Draco on her lap so he could hug Narcissa from behind and kiss her hair.

"I love you so much Cissa."

She closed her eyes and leaned back against his warm chest, Draco crawled on top her stomach and Narcissa held him protectively. She smiled softly and turned her head to Lucius.

"I love you too, so much."

OoO

Five before after it was eleven o'clock Narcissa Malfoy apparated to the Hogwarts grounds with her son. A carriage was already waiting for her and she stepped inside, this time not paying much attention to the thestrals pulling it. Instead focusing on the little boy that was now asleep in her arms.

In front of the main entrance the carriage stopped and Narcissa saw Minerva Mcgonagall already waiting for her. She stepped out and walked towards the older woman, mask firmly in place as she looked at her coldly. "Good morning, Minerva."

Minerva smiled coldly "Good morning Narcissa. Follow me." She walked through the castle with a quick pace and Narcissa followed her before both women stopped in front of a large door. The older of the two opened it and lead Narcissa inside. "This is the staffroom."

The staffroom existed out of one large room, in the middle a table surrounded by 27 chairs. There was a small table with two plates filled with sandwiches on it, together with a small bowl of babyfood. "I figured you wouldn't have lunched yet, there's something for Draco as well." Minerva said while taking one of the plates and sitting down in her usual chair.

Narcissa did the same with a small flick of her wand as she could not carry both a plate and Draco. "Thank you, Minerva." She sat Draco down on her lap and woke him up carefully. "Hey baby, are you hungry?" She smiled warmly at the little boy and kissed his forehead as he yawned quietly.

Minerva looked at the young woman curiously as she interacted with her son, noticing how her feautures softened, and how she had a real smile on her face, not the forced, cold one she had seen last day, or when she was a student at the school. Narcissa almost looked like a different person.

After Draco had eaten everything, it wasn't long before the boy fell asleep in his mother's arms once more. Narcissa quickly transfigured a nearby chair into a crib and conjured a pillow and a small blanket for her son before laying him down. She kissed his forehead and sat down again.

When Narcissa noticed Minerva's almost shocked expression, she looked a bit confused at the older woman. "What is wrong? I will change it back when I go home again."

But Minevra shook her head softly "That's not it, you're just a lot different, when you're talking to Draco." She smiled softly at the blonde. Narcissa nodded slightly and shrugged "I assume so, he's my son."

Minerva smiled "You're one complicated woman aren't you? Anyway, about the teaching.

The first lesson is the most important, the students will base their opinions on that. Make sure it goes well, and that you have them under control. After that you will have earned their respect usually, or not according to how it went.

All teachers are given a list of student names, after their name comes their house, and any special things you may need. For example, if a student's parent has been killed by a specific curse, you will know and might want to talk to said student before class starts."

Narcissa nodded as sign she understood and Minerva continued.

"But the same goes for you. As defence against the dark arts teacher you might have to teach about curses or creatures that are in some sort of way triggering. Though you can't skip the lessons, it is wise to handle it carefully, let the students know what they can and can not say, and you can always talk to myself or Albus.

Since you will most likely also become the head of Slytherin house as I understand, it is your job to, in a way, take care of the Slytherin students. If you notice they're being bullied, or get bad grades, or if you find out something in their homelife might be wrong, you have to talk to them about it.

Make sure the students of your house trust you, as you very well know they live here for the biggest part of the year, and you are the most important adult they have in this school. Being their head of house also includes giving them sexual education during third year, how you do this is all up to you of course, as long as you handle the most important points.

This includes the obvious points, but also sexuality, and sexual abuse. If you notice a student being troubled with the latter, approach it carefully to the student in private. And the same goes for you again," She paused for a little before continuing. "If you have trouble talking about the subject, you can always ask someone else to do it for you. Do you understand?"

Narcissa had paled a little during her talk but nodded "I understand." The older woman looked at her with the slightest hint of worry on her face.

"Are you okay, Narcissa?" The blonde noticed she sounded actually worried now and nodded quickly. She was starting to think it had been a mistake, taking a teachingjob at Hogwarts. She was supposed to teach students about sexual abuse. But Minerva had also said someone else could do it for her, but that would mean explaining why she couldn't. Right?

She closed her eyes for a short while to compose herself and looked at Minerva. "I'm fine. Honestly." Minerva wanted to ask further, but the look in the blonde's eyes was enough to stop her from doing so, she did not want to upset Narcissa.

"Alright then… Are there any creatures you may have trouble handling? It might be wise to practice doing so with me or another teacher, if possible of course. I'm sure all of us are more than willing to help."

Narcissa hesitated and blushed a little before answering. "I've never been able to handle boggarts. I'm sure all the others are just fine." She was quite embarrassed to admit it, but her boggart completely shut her down. Narcissa remembered the earlier times she had to face one, which all resulted in her freezing and not being able to do anything but cry, and a talk to her parents.

She shivered and Minerva looked at her surprised "A boggart? From what I've heard, they're the easier once to deal with aren't they? Sorry if I'm wrong of course. We can work on it."

The blonde nodded softly "It depends on the fear. For most it's something like spiders, things easy to make something funny of, and not scary enough to shut you down. If the fear is worse, or you're not able to make it into a funny thing, it's almost impossible to fight it off.

But yes, because most people fear things like spiders, or in the worst case their loved ones dying, it is one of the most easy creatures to fight, especially when you're young. My boggart just happens to change into something I can't handle." It felt weird, explaining herself to another person that was not Lucius or her sister. But something about Minerva was, in a way, almost comforting.

Minerva nodded softly and hesitatingly placed her right hand on the younger one's knee. "We'll try it, unless you want to practice with another teacher, of course." Narcissa shook her head, if anyone, Minerva should be there. "There's a boggart in a closet near the dungeons, if you want to, we can look at it now?"

The blonde woman nodded hesitatingly, casting a quick tempus-charm to see it was only 12. "That, would be alright." She had stopped trying to put her mask back on, Minerva didn't seem to mind her signs of weakness. Or she was even a better actress than Narcissa herself.

Minerva smiled softly and stood up, waving her wand to disappear the now empty plates. Narcissa picked up Draco and transfigured the crib back into the chair it had been. She held her son protectively against her chest, the other woman smiled at the sight and opened the door. "Follow me Narcissa."

OoO

Minutes later both woman entered a room in the dungeons, it only contained a table with two chairs, and a big closet. Narcissa placed a still sleeping Draco on the table and casted a silencing charm around the sleeping boy so he wouldn't wake.

In the main time Minerva had walked towards the closet, and Narcissa held her wand steadily in her right hand. She tried her hardest to prepare herself for the boggart, but no matter how many times she thought about it, she wasn't able to make it into something funny.

"Don't worry, it's not much but I'm right here if it goes wrong okay? Are you ready?" The older woman too had her wand ready, and Narcissa nodded.

"I guess so." As ready as she'd ever be was more like it, but she couldn't just not try.

The closet was opened, and immediately Cygnus Black stepped out of it. He glared at the woman in front of him who immediately froze in fear, her wand clattered on the ground. She stepped back until she was standing against the wall of the room, crying softly as the man came closer.

"Come here Narcissa. Don't you dare walk away from me like the coward you are!" He slapped her across her face and the blonde winced. The boggart raised his hand again, but Minerva jumped in front of the young woman and it was forced to change into something else.

Narcissa didn't register Minerva putting the boggart back into the closet until the woman sat her down on a chair carefully. She was shaking and could not seem to stop crying.

Minerva looked at her worriedly hugged the young woman, who gasped and pulled away in fear, big silver-blue eyes filled with tears looking at Minerva. "I'm sorry.. Should I get Lucius?" She was very worried now and Narcissa nodded shakingly.

"Please.. I'm sorry…" But Minerva shook her head before sending a patronus to the woman's husband.

"Don't be sorry! But who was that man?.." She was worried, but Narcissa paled and shook her head quickly.

"No one. Not important." It came out colder than she had intended, but Minerva didn't mind for now. She nodded softly and not even two minutes later Lucius Malfoy appeared in the fireplace. His eyes were filled with worry and he walked slowly towards Narcissa.

"Love, it's me… Come here sweetheart" He didn't pay attention to Minerva, instead carefully pulling his wife into a hug. She tensed at first and the older woman saw her hand reaching out for Lucius' long hair.

The man held her close and stroked her hair slowly, whispering comforting words into her ear until the woman stopped crying. "What happened my love?" His voice was worried and he sat down in the chairs, lifting Narcissa into his lap.

She instantly curled up in his embrace and said softly "Boggart.. him." And Lucius understood. He kissed her hair and she snuggled against his chest.

"It's okay darling, you're completely safe…" He knew it wasn't all true, he knew Cygnus Black was still very much alive, still visiting her, and there was not much either of them could do about it. She nodded softly, not convinced but she knew Lucius would at least be there for her, protect her.

It took him ten more minutes before she sat up, not as scared anymore, and looked at Minerva. "I'm sorry Minerva.. I shouldn't have tried it." But the woman didn't want to hear her apologies.

"Don't be sorry Narcissa, it's okay. We'll figure something out later okay? You should go home now." She smiled softly as Narcissa and Lucius stood up. The man took Draco in his arms and kissed his forehead before wrapping an arm around his wife.

He smiled and lead her to the fireplace "Thank you for calling me, miss Mcgonagall, we appreciate it." And flooed away, back to the manor.

OoO

 **Almost twice as long as last chapter haha, I hope you like it!**


	3. September first

**Chapter three, no warnings apply.**

OoO

Two weeks later it was September first.

Narcissa had been woken by Lucius around ten in the morning with breakfast ready, she sat on his lap as they eat it, snuggled close to him. She would floo to the school around twelve to discuss the final details with Minerva, with whom she had grown a lot closer during the past weeks, and also meet the other teachers.

Minerva had told her the others were almost all very welcoming to her, with the exception of the potions and the old runes teacher, respectively called Carol Hawthorne and Thomas Geller. She was quite nervous about it, but before the meeting started she would talk to Minerva, so it would be more than fine.

After breakfast she and Lucius had taken a shower, he had washed her hair and massaged her until she was completely relaxed. The elves had prepared her emerald green robes, and packed a small trunk with three sets of robes more, to bring to the school.

Lucius and her had earlier agreed that she would stay at the manor for most of the time, with a house elf in her office for when a student might need her. Some nights when she would have a lot of work, she would spend the night at school. According to how those nights would go, Lucius might stay with her for the nightmares still haunting her.

When Lucius would have business trip, which he would try to keep at a minimum, (But hadn't he always? She had thought) She would stay for that time at Hogwarts, together with Draco. Narcissa feared those nights, she was not allowed to take a dreamless sleep potion more than two nights in a row, and after that not for a month.

And without the potion she had terrible nightmares, where only Lucius could help her with. But she had not argued, knowing it was very important for them to maintain their status and power, and regain what they had lost during the last years of the war. Losing sleep was worth that.

Now Narcissa was sitting on one of the sofas in the livingroom, Draco on her lap and Lucius next to her. It was almost twelve and she knew she'd have to go soon.

"You'll do just fine love, the first lessons won't start until tomorrow. Today is just meeting the students and teachers, and Mcgonagall said they liked you." Lucius said it again and again, but she had trouble believing her husband. Instead of answering she nodded and stood up, lifting Draco in her arms and holding the boy against her chest.

Narcissa kissed her son's forehead and smiled softly as he babbled something before handing the little boy to Lucius. She kissed him short but fiercely said "I love you" and stood up straight, telling an elf to take her trunk.

Her husband smiled "I love you too, have faith in yourself darling." He stood up as well and hugged her, careful not to crush Draco between them. Narcissa smiled and nodded softly.

"I will, goodbye love." She smiled and walked towards the large fireplace, blew a kiss to her husband and flooed away.

OoO

Minerva was already waiting for her in her own office, Narcissa stepped out of the fireplace and sat down on the sofa, facing the older woman. "Good morning Minerva."

"Good morning Narcissa, nervous for the first day?" Minerva smiled kindly at the woman in front of her and the blonde nodded. Of course she was, it's not like she lacked the confidence, she was a Malfoy after all, but she wasn't naïve and knew that there were obviously going to be a lot of comments on the fact that she, the wife of a known deatheater, was a defence against the dark arts teacher. The irony.

She sighed "Of course I am. Thank you for meeting before the official meeting." With Minerva she had tried to not wear her mask all the time, she wouldn't call her a close friend, but she was definitely a friend, she thought. Sometimes she would fail to do so though, but Minerva didn't ask questions, and Narcissa was extremely grateful for it. It wasn't something she could explain.

Minerva smiled "Not a problem, and we needed to discuss something anyway. I hadn't thought of it before, but it is quite important I assume, regarding your views." The blonde looked a bit confused, her views? Oh.

"Muggleborns. I know that for some reason they disgust you," Narcissa nodded, mudbloods. The scum of the earth. But of course, she would have to teach them. And professor Dumbledore wouldn't forgive her if she treated all of them like the scum they were, the old muggleloving fool.

Minerva continued "But you will have to teach and treat them like any other student. No discrimination. Think of them what you want, but they're your students and your responsibility, and you will not treat them any different than the purebloods."

Narcissa nodded softly, it hadn't crossed her mind before really. She could act of course, that wouldn't be a problem but pretending she had no problem with mudbloods? If her father heard of it… She shivered.

"I won't Minerva. Don't worry about it. What about the other teachers?"

"They look forward to meet you. They all know you of course, but except Carol and Thomas, I don't expect there to be any problems." She looked curiously at Narcissa before continuing "How will you be towards the other teachers?"

The blonde looked confused at the witches' words "What exactly do you mean with that?"

"Well, when we first met you were, I'm sorry, incredibly cold, distant. You've changed since then, but when you're with Lucius or Draco, it's like you're someone else. How will you do it with the other teachers?"

Narcissa was silent for a moment before answering "Like always. When we met." She sounded colder again, she couldn't really help it and Minerva sighed softly.

"But why, Narcissa?" the older woman sounded confused, not understanding at all why the woman in front of her would act so cold, so distant to everyone.

The blonde stood up, straightening her robes and she looked at Minerva. "Self protection. It's time for the meeting." It was obvious she didn't want to talk about the subject any longer and Minerva nodded.

She stood up as well "Very well then, we'll go." She walked towards the door and turned back to Narcissa, the blonde sighed and looked at her.

"Sorry Minerva." But said woman shook her head softly and walked towards Narcissa, holding out her arms as to invite her for a hug. She smiled as the blonde woman nodded and hugged her.

"Don't be sorry Narcissa. And for all we know, maybe one day I'll understand you."

Narcissa sighed softly and nodded, perhaps the older woman was right, not likely.

"Maybe one day."

OoO

Ten minutes later they were standing just outside the staffroom. Narcissa was nervous, though it wasn't shown on her face and she was certain no one would see it. Minerva looked at her smiling kindly and looked questionably at the door, as to ask if she could open it.

The blonde nodded and Minerva opened the door. She walked inside, Narcissa following her with a proud smile on her face, daring anyone to say something about her. They sat down in their respective seats, on opposite sides of Albus Dumbledore.

When everyone sat down, Albus began to speak. "Welcome everyone, for a new year at our school. First of all, please welcome our new staffmember, Narcissa Malfoy. "

Narcissa looked around, still smiling proudly, almost arrogant, to hide her nerves. Most clapped, but she could easily spot the forced ones, and the two teachers who just glared at her. She recognized them now.

Lucius had tortured Susan Hawthorne during the war, known to be Carol's wife. She knew Thomas Geller had lost his niece during the war, murdered in her manor. They had every reason to hate her, Narcissa realized that.

"Mrs. Malfoy will fulfil the position of Defence against the dark arts teacher and head of Slytherin House."

Mrs. Hawthorne frowned and looked at Narcissa, the same glare in her eyes. "A bit ironic, don't you think? The death eater's wife and sister, teaching defence against the dark arts?" It was spotting, and it was obvious she thought she had succeeded in embarrassing Narcissa.

But the blonde woman merely smiled coldly at her. "Indeed, you're not a fan of irony? I quite like it if I'm honest." She frowned and repressed a chuckle at the look of Carol's face. A quick glance around the room showed that the other teachers were watching the two with mild amusement.

Albus chuckled "Alright ladies, back to business. The train will arrive in hogsmeade at five o'clock. The sorting starts half an hour later, followed by dinner. I want the head of houses to come to their common rooms at nine o'clock, and you will be given the timetables for each students at the end of the meeting, you are to hand them out during breakfast tomorrow.

As always, if there's a problem with a student, you tell this to their head of house. For Gryffindors as always Minerva, ravenclaws Filius, Pomona has been assigned as head of Hufflepuff, and for the Slytherins Narcissa. They will handle it further. Any questions?"

As there were none, they were dismissed except the four head of houses. Albus handed each of them a staple of papers, timetables for each student from their house. It was four pm when the meeting was officially over and Narcissa walked back to her office, this time alone.

She had spent the last week decorating her office, classroom and private rooms. With help of her elves of course.

The classroom had stayed pretty much the same, except she had changed the colour of the furniture just a little darker. Her desk was organized, five completely white quills laying in a perfect row in her upper drawer, one on the desk next to a small staple of fresh, parchment. Two inkpots at the end of the desk, black and emerald green.

There were of each colour two more pots in her drawer, next to the quills, together with two red inkt pots. Next to the inkt on her desk was a bowl filled with chocolate truffles, some filled with alcohol, others not. She had casted a special spell over the thing, if a student would take one it would automatically be non-alcohol, if an adult would do the same, with the liquid.

Her office was decorated in slytherin colours, together with a silverly blue and black. On the desk in her office were standing three photographs, one of her and Lucius, taken on their honeymoon. Another of little Draco, enchanted so she could look in it and see exactly how Draco was in that moment, currently laying curled up in his green blanket, sound asleep in his fathers' arms.

The last was of herself with her two older sisters, Bellatrix and Andromeda. They were in Bella's room, and she remembered no one being home when it was taken, a moment of freedom for the three sisters. It stung her that it was merely ten years ago, and how things had changed since then.

Not allowing herself to think of it now, she turned her attention to the magical music player. The thing was charmed to play a soft classical piano melody, being heard over the classroom and her own quarters as well.

She was ready.

OoO

When it was time for the opening feast, Narcissa was wearing dark purple robes, her white blonde hair fell over her shoulder in soft curls and she looked like the calmness herself. She walked to the great hall, noticing with a true smile that it hadn't changed a bit, and took place next to Minerva.

It wasn't long before students walked into the big hall and took place at their respective house tables. Narcissa looked over the hall in silence, fighting with herself over how to act.

She wanted to do this. Be a teacher and actually do it good, mean something to the students. But part of her wouldn't let her take off the mask, and another part was too scared of what would happen if she did.

Narcissa smiled a little at the students who stared at her, the fight seemingly won by the part of her that didn't want to fail Dumbledore, it would endanger Lucius after all.

When everyone sat down, Minerva stood up to gather the first years, and Narcissa clapped whenever a student was sorted into Slytherin. Not long after, the headmaster stood up from his seat and silenced the school.

"To those of you who have been here longer than today, welcome back. To the first years, welcome to Hogwarts. I would like to make a few announcements before we start eating, to begin with the fact that the class Old runes has been removed from your schedules for the first three months of the year. It will most likely reappear later on.

Second and last, this year the position of Defence against the dark arts teacher will be held by Narcissa Malfoy, who will also be the head of Slytherin house."

She stood up proudly, making sure not to come off as too arrogant, but confident enough to show she was not to be messed with, as the students applauded. Narcissa smiled as she sat down again, ignoring the students who glared at her, she knew there would be students whose families her husband and sister had tortured, or killed.

OoO

At nine o'clock that evening, Narcissa gave the password to the Slytherin common room. All the students from the house were already sitting on the dark green couches and armchairs. They looked up when she entered and she smiled, cold but not too much, powerful.

"I am Narcissa Malfoy, and I will be your head of house for the following years. If there is anything you need to talk about, regarding grades, other students or home situations, you talk to me and I will try my hardest to help you.

My office can be entered through the dark wooden door next to the Defence against the dark arts classroom, simply knock and wait for me to open. If I myself am not there, an elf will be waiting for you and, depending on how urgent your problem is, apparate and call me. You can do this anytime you need to, including during holidays or at night. Any questions?"

She spoke with a clear voice, loud enough for everyone to hear easily and she looked around to see if there were any questions. A fifth year boy looked at her curiously before raising his hand.

"Why would we need you in the middle of the night?" It was almost spotting how he said it, and Narcissa smiled.

"I can think of a few reasons, you should be glad you can't, it means you probably won't need it. More questions?"

Another hand was raised, a third year girl now. "Why wouldn't you be in your rooms? Don't the professors live here?" Narcissa was about to answer when she was cut off by a fourth year student.

"Because she spends the nights at her house, to have sex with her husband of course." His friends laughed and looked at Narcissa expectantly, she remembered it from her years at school. A test. It was always used on the new head of house, if they would stutter and blush, they were crap.

So she raised an eyebrow and smiled at the student who had spoken "I do spend most nights at Malfoy manor, but sex is more for earlier in the evening, not in the middle of the night." She fought of a blush and looked at the girl who had asked the question first as she continued "I live at the manor with my son and husband, so no I will not be here every night."

One look at the students showed she had earned their approval, and when there were no other questions, she returned to her own rooms.

OoO

 **It seems like these chapters only get longer, let's see how long I can keep it up. Reviews please?**


	4. The first lesson

**This will be Narcissa's first teaching day, and Lucissa fluff because the world needs more Lucissa fluff.**

 **Warning: ehhmm, kind of mention of past abuse I guess, it's not said, but more, pointed at?**

OoO

Last night she hadn't dared taking the dreamless sleep potion. Now she wished she had.

Narcissa Malfoy woke up screaming in the middle of the night, terrified. The woman was crying and blindly reached for her husband, for Lucius. Only to find that he was not there. She curled up in the blankets, sobbing.

Her body was shocking with sobs as she clutched the blankets in an attempt to calm down, pictures of the nightmare floating through her mind. She shivered, got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom to drink something.

The woman looked around the bathroom cautiously, terrified someone would be there, he would be there. She was so scared and cried when she looked in the mirror, without her glamours she looked like some sort of living corpse and she shivered. Narcissa traced one of the bigger scars with her finger, she could still hear the screams from when she got it.

Narcissa was shaking now, but she would _not_ call Lucius, not already. She was _not_ weak, she would simply take a shower, calm down and go back to sleep. She nodded softly to herself in the mirror, desperately trying to stop herself from sobbing.

A flick of her wand and the shower was on, Narcissa undressed slowly and walks into the hot water, as always hissing at the pain when it fell into her fresher wounds. Not soon after the pain was almost gone and she closed her eyes, trying to convince herself she was safe, it had just been a dream. But for some reason only Lucius could completely convince her, she knew it had not always been _just a dream_ , and it wouldn't be either.

For almost an hour Narcissa stood under the shower, but when she finally stepped out she didn't feel better in the slightest. She put on her pyjamas nevertheless and walked back to her bed, putting on the classical music, maybe it would help.

Narcissa lay in bed for two hours before finally drifting off to sleep, praying for the dreams to stay away this time.

OoO

The next morning she was woken again by the alarm, still a bit cautious she got up and showered quickly, as if there would still be someone in the room with her. Narcissa dried her hair and body with a charm and put on her emerald robes again. She'd just focus on her looks, and the feeling would surely go away, it had to.

Narcissa doubted for a while between putting up her hair, or letting it fall loose in the usual curls. In the end choosing for the latter, she moved on to carefully cast the glamours over her skin. Her eyes staring at the mirror with tears in her eyes as she saw all the scars and little burns disappear, making place for an almost porcelain skin, without a single imperfection. Like she was supposed to be.

30 minutes later she was ready for the first day of class. Narcissa had placed the enchanted picture of Draco on the desk in the classroom, silenced of course, and the music was playing. She took the staple of timetables for the Slytherins, looked in the mirror once more to make sure nothing revealed her fear and walked to the great hall. Head held high, proud, like she was taught.

After breakfast Narcissa walked back to the classroom to prepare the first lesson, a seventh year mixed class, students from all houses. According to Minerva the seventh years were easiest, they just wanted to pass their N.E. and payed attention.

She was sitting behind her desk when the class walked in, all curious about their new teacher. She smiled and stood up "Everyone grab a roll of parchment and a quill, books won't be necessary for now." Everyone did as she said and Narcissa continued.

"Since this is your final year here at Hogwarts, we won't learn much new things, instead focusing on everything you'll need to know to pass your exams. The only thing you haven't been taught yet, are dark curses, we'll start with those."

There was a chuckle and a gryffindor boy looked at her smirking "You surely know all about those, don't you?" Narcissa had to repress the urge to roll her eyes and looked back coldly.

"Five points from Gryffindor for talking out of place. And of course I do, I'm a teacher, you can expect I know my subject." A couple of gryffindors glared at the boy for losing them points, while the other houses chuckled softly. Narcissa continued.

This year we will have two lessons a week, the first will be used for theorie and I will show you the spell or curse we're discussing, the second lesson will be practical. This lesson I will explain to you the unforgivables, and show them." She took a deep breath and charmed a piece of chalk to write down the notes she had written on parchment before. "Listen to me and write down what's on the blackboard."

Narcissa took her wand and summoned three jars, each with a rat inside.

"The three unforgivable curses. Using one of them on another human causes you to be send to Azkaban, for the rest of your life. These curses are horrific, for both caster and victim, and you are only able to use them if you truly want the victim to suffer. Do not take them lightly.

We have the Avada Kedavra curse, better known as the killing curse. Hit by it and you're dead before your body has touched the ground. Irreversible and there is no protection but dodging the curse. When cast, the killingcurse is bright green, it causes instant death, quick and painless. I'll show it. for those of you who are not comfortable with seeing this, you may turn around or leave the room for now."

Two students turned around, but no one commented, no one left and Narcissa took out one of the rats. She placed it carefully on the desk and took her wand. She imagined the rat to be Cygnus, it was the only way she could bring herself to cast any of these curses. "Avada Kedavra."

A bright green light lit the room and the rat fell off the desk, dead. A few students gasped, and a couple of Hufflepuffs looked at her in shock. A girl from Slytherin raised her hand, and Narcissa gestured she could talk. "You just said that you can only use the curse if you really want to, do you really want to kill rats, or is it something else that others also use when casting them?"

Narcissa smiled softly and layed down her wand at her desk. "I imagine it is someone else, who I would gladly hurt. I know others who do this as well. If you can imagine it, you can cast the curse." She made the rat disappear and the two students who had turned around turned back, though Narcissa noticed they were a lot paler.

She levitated the small bowl with chocolate truffels and made it float towards the two students, sitting next to eachother. "Take one, it helps." She smiled kindly and the two took one each, looking at her gratefully. Narcissa placed the bowl back and continued with the second curse.

"Next, the imperius curse. A curse that makes the caster able to control the victim, whatever they say, the victim will do without question. Though it is possible to resist the curse, this is very painful and costs a lot of energy. This curse may sound the least bad of the three, but don't be mistaken. You can be forced to kill your best friend, and do nothing to stop it." She shivered slightly as she took her wand and the other two rats again. "Again, if you feel uncomfortable watching, turn around or leave the room."

No one turned around this time, and Narcissa placed the rat again on her desk. "Imperio." She made it do nothing but run a few rounds around the room. "I can make him jump out of the window, it would surely kill him, but he wouldn't be able to do a thing. A truly terrifying curse, this one."

She lifted it from the rat and placed it back in the jar, she looked around the classroom. No one seemed too shocked by this curse and she continued.

"And the last one, the cruciatus curse. A horrible torture curse. If you're hit by this curse, it feels like your skin is being stabbed with knives, all over your body. It doesn't only hurt your body, but your mind as well and being exposed to this curse too long or too often, causes one to go practically insane." She shivered again a bit, memories coming back. "I will not cast it."

She said is shortly and cold, a bit colder than she had meant to and the confusion was clear on most faces. A ravenclaw raised his hand "Why not professor?" She closed her eyes for a short while before answering.

"For personal reasons, mr. Rivers, I will not answer further." She looked at the class "For next lesson I want each of you to make a list of the curses, charms and creatures you have trouble with, I will make a list out of those which we will finish during the year. Next lesson we will practice a couple of countercurses to see how well you manage."

The students got up when class had ended, and Narcissa called the two Slytherins to her desk, the two who had turned around during the killing curse. "Are you two okay?" They nodded softly, but she could see they were quite shaken.

"Go to madame Pomfrey and ask for a calming potion, it will help okay?" She smiled as kindly as she could manage, being a bit shaken herself and the students nodded. They stood up, thanked her and walked out of the classroom.

Narcissa sighed and closed her eyes for a while, the fear of tonight still hadn't left her completely and she looked around the room, trying to convince herself that there really was no one else here, especially not _him_.

OoO

After the last lesson had ended, Narcissa lay down on the green sofa in her office. She called one of her elves to bring some tea and closed her eyes, glad that she'd be home with Lucius tonight again. On her timeschedule was also shown that she had to patrol the halls during the night twice a week, she didn't look forward to it. Except for Lucius no one knew how scared she was of the dark.

Narcissa decided to sleep for a bit and let an elf wake her in time for dinner, she was very tired due to the lack of sleep last night and yawned before slowly drifting off to sleep, the tea forgotten.

Two hours later she was woken by the elf, this time no nightmares. Dinner would start in an hour and Narcissa walked to the bathroom to do her hair and shower quickly.

As she walked through the halls down to the great hall, she looked around smiling. Hogwarts had been the first place to ever feel like home for her, the castle with her protecting walls, a place where he couldn't come, couldn't touch her. A safe haven.

It still felt like that in a way, but she also knew that he would visit again, just like he did when she was at school. Sometimes he'd sit at her bed for hours at night, knowing she was awake, just to show that he could. That he had the power to come to her when she didn't expect it.

She sighed and stood still in front of the doors that lead to the great hall, closing her eyes for a few seconds to compose herself. She placed a proud, cold smile on her face and walked inside, looking across the students as she made her way to the teacherstable and sat down next to Minerva. The older woman looked at her "How did your first day go?"

Narcissa smiled "Better than expected, it's quite nice actually." After the first lesson she had had five more and in her opinion they went quite well, the class listened to her and was usually silent, and most students seemed to like her.

Minerva smiled back, almost proud. "I'm glad to hear it, you seem a bit tired though, are you okay?" The blonde nodded and shrugged, she wasn't going to tire the woman with her nightmares, she wasn't weak. No matter what anyone could think or tell her, she was a Malfoy, and she was not weak.

"I'm fine, don't worry." A small chuckle and a smile, and Minerva looked relieved, believing her. Everyone always did, except Lucius and Bella of course, they knew better. Narcissa looked to the students sitting in the hall, she knew most of them thought of her as weak, a bit pathetic. Though she was a Malfoy, and everyone knew to respect lord Malfoy, she was only the housewife. In their eyes, just there to give her husband an heir.

A weak housewife, she wanted to roll her eyes at the thought. That sounded more like Molly Prewett, now Weasley. They had no idea what she was capable of, and she knew they would want to find out just how much she could handle. Well let them.

Narcissa knew it all from her own years at the school, and from what she had seen until now not much had changed since then. But they could try whatever they wanted, she would not break. She was too strong for that and somewhere, deep down, she knew it too.

OoO

Since it was only the first day, the only thing Narcissa had to do after dinner was preparing tomorrows lessons, she was done with it within two hours. She smiled as she changed into more comfortable clothes, ordered two house elves to make sure the rooms were all clean and to stay in the office for the rest of the night. It wouldn't be necessary, but what better did the elves had to do?

When it was all done, Narcissa stepped into the fireplace and gratefully flood home, back to the manor, her child and husband. Lucius was sitting on one of the sofas, a laughing Draco lying next to him on a silver blanket. He looked up when she appeared in the fireplace and the blonde couldn't help but smile when she saw how his face lit up.

Lucius stood up quickly and hugged his wife, "You're back, how are you sweetheart? How did you sleep?" He stroked her hair and she moved closer to him, closing her eyes.

"I'm fine, and.. just one nightmare" She shrugged, trying to make it look like it was okay, but Lucius was never fooled. He sat down on the sofa, pulling the petite woman on his lap. He looked at Narcissa worriedly.

"And how did that go? Why didn't you call me darling?" She looked at him but said nothing at first. How could she explain it? Narcissa sighed and rested her head against his warm chest. She had been terrified out of her mind, and though she knew Lucius wouldn't have mind, she couldn't call him and ask him to come.

She shrugged "Fine.. I took a shower, and three hours later I fell asleep again." Lucius held her close in his arms and sighed softly, knowing it was not fine. He kissed her hair and looked at her with worry.

"You stayed awake for three hours, and you are still tense Cissa… Why didn't you call me?" there was a sad tone in his voice, and Narcissa realized it sounded like she just didn't trust him. She was so stupid. Why did she have to put it like that? Idiot.

She shook her head softly, trying to find the right words. "I just.. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to not even be able to sleep somewhere alone because I'm scared. I'm 26, not 5. Why am I still so afraid of the dark?.. And why am I still scared of him? It happened when I was eleven for god's sake, fifteen years ago. I just, I didn't want to sound pathetic."

Tears had formed in her eyes but she slapped them away, angry at herself for being so weak. Lucius shook his head and looked at her with sad eyes, embracing his wife tightly. "Cissa.. you were traumatized, you every reason to be so scared, and you and I both know it didn't stop after that first time." He paused for a moment before whispering, as if it would make the truth less hurtful "And we both know it's still happening."'

Lucius sighed softly and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead "You're not pathetic for being scared and needing someone after all you went through Cissa, you're so strong.."

Draco had fallen asleep by then and Lucius lifted his wife up in his arms as he stood up. "Come darling, we'll shower and go to sleep okay love?" She nodded softly, glad he didn't expect her to answer his little speech, though she was incredibly touched by it. Narcissa wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her hair before walking upstairs.

They showered, he smeared a healing crème over her scars carefully and she might have cried because it stung, but they both pretended she had not. He massaged her again, smiling when she relaxed completely, and she had washed his hair, commenting multiple times on how beautiful it was, she knew he liked it.

When they were dried off, Lucius lay down in their bed, petting the spot next to him softly for Narcissa. She lay down close to him, curled up and snuggled against his chest, and he embraced her. "I love you Cissa" He whispered and held the woman protectively, she smiled softly and closed her eyes.

"I love you too Lucius." She whispered back, before drifting off to sleep.

OoO

 **3K words, I'm proud. Please leave a review behind?**


	5. The business trip

A month into the schoolyear Lucius was going to make his first businesstrip after the war. He felt horrible about leaving Narcissa and Draco alone, knowing how scared she was, but both of them knew it wasn't really a choice. Narcissa and Draco would stay in her rooms at Hogwarts, and she would just hope the nightmares wouldn't be that bad for a while.

And that Cygnus would stay away.

That was what Narcissa feared the most, that he would come to Hogwarts and hurt Draco. He had come before during this schoolyear, but that had just been her, not her only son. Anything but Draco.

Lucius would leave tomorrow morning, a Sunday, and would come back next Monday so she would only be able to see him late that evening. She was currently at Hogwarts, it was four pm and Narcissa and Minerva were grading essays together, once in a while sighing and showing something that was just too stupid.

Narcissa sighed softly and rolled her eyes as she read an essay of a Gryffindor girl, stating that the patronus is the same as the animagus form, and therefor if you are not an animagus, you can not perform a patronus charm. Of course the first statement was true, they were both a representation of the soul, but the latter was only a poor excuse for why the student wasn't able to perform a patronus charm.

She showed the sentence to Minerva who chuckled softly "Some students… Honestly. When are you going to let them practice on the actual spell?" Narcissa had thought about it, but it seemed that most students weren't ready for it yet. Maybe she could just let them practice one lesson, and then see what they did wrong.

"Probably next lesson, but it's going to take a while. Their reactions when I cast it are amazing though." The older of the two chuckled and nodded softly, the same happened whenever she transformed in her animagus form.

"With the third and fourth years there's coming up a practical lesson with boggarts though, they're all looking forward to finding out everyones fears." Minerva looked at Narcissa a bit worried, remembering clearly how it went the last time the blonde faced a boggart.

"How are you going to do it?" She asked, "I saw how it went the last time…"

Narcissa nodded softly before answering "I can handle two embarrassments. I've explained to them how some fears are just not able to turn into something funny, and how that means that some boggarts are impossible to fight off. They'll probably just ask who it is."

Minerva looked at her curiously "But who is it, Narcissa? For as far I know he's not a death eater, but he does seem familiar, like I've seen him before." Narcissa closed her eyes and nodded softly, turning her head away from the other woman.

"You probably have. Talked to him probably." She snapped it, suddenly defensive. It wasn't that the blonde didn't trust Minerva, of course she did. But Narcissa knew what would happen if she'd tell, and she did not need nor wanted pity. Pity was for the weak, and she was not.

Or did she want it? Sometimes even the woman herself didn't know anymore. She liked it when Lucius comforted her, but she was always scared he'd get tired of her endless whining. Would it be the same with Minerva? Would she be concerned at first, but decided after a month or so that she should just get over it? Narcissa didn't know, but she'd rather not find out.

Minerva looked at her a bit shocked, not minding the coldness in her voice. "I've spoken to him?" She paused for a moment, placing a hand carefully on the blonde's shoulder before continuing "Whoever it is, what has he done to you to make you this scared of him?"

Her voice was thick with concern and Narcissa looked at her, tears stinging behind her eyes when memories came back. She shook her head quickly and looked down at the table "Let's just say he hurt me. Or, is hurting me." The younger woman stood up and gathered her papers.

Minerva stood up as well and opened her mouth to say something but Narcissa cut her off, her voice filled with tears. "Please don't. Just.. forget it okay?" She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to compose herself before continuing "I'll finish the other essays tomorrow. I.. just need to be alone, sorry."

The older woman nodded softly and looked at Narcissa "I'm sorry for asking, but please know that you can talk to me."

Narcissa nodded and smiled softly. "I know Minerva. Thank you."

OoO

The next morning the Malfoy family was awake early, Lucius had ordered the elves to pack his trunk and all three of them were sitting in the livingroom. Lucius had Draco in his lap and Narcissa was snuggled close to him, her eyes closed. She didn't want to move away, she knew it was childish of course but the woman couldn't help it.

"I'm going to miss you.." Narcissa whispered, tilting her head to look up at her husband. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead softly, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he whispered back.

"I'll miss you too love.. But you'll be fine, just watch." Lucius smiled supportively at her, but she wasn't convinced and shrugged, curling up in his arm. "Trust me Cissa, you'll be fine, I know you will love." He continued, Narcissa shook her head softly.

An elf appeared in front of them, stating softly that it was time for Lucius to leave. The elf was dismissed by the man and he turned towards his wife. "I'll be back soon love.." Both of them stood up and he kissed her softly, pulling Narcissa closer as she kissed back.

She rest her forehead against his' and nodded softly "I love you.. so much" Narcissa whispered, looking at him sadly. Lucius smiled a bit and pulled his wife close to him.

"I love you too Cissa. Don't worry, you'll be just fine." He kissed her forehead and hugged Draco carefully, kissing the little boy as well. Then he handed their son to Narcissa and took his trunk, kissing her cheek softly and saying goodbye before apparating away.

OoO

Barely an hour later Narcissa was sitting in the Great hall for breakfast, a baby Draco in her lap who was laughing and waving at students. She chuckled and kissed the top of his head, looking at the students who were obviously amused by the tiny boy. Narcissa ate her breakfast slowly, between every bite she had giving one with babyfood to her son.

When she walked down from the teachers table and past the Slytherin one, a second year girl looked at her shyly before asking if she could hold Draco. Narcissa smiled softly, recognizing the student as Alicia Fields, a girl she had talked to quite often in the past month. "Of course, be careful please." She said kindly, handing Draco to the girl carefully and making sure she was holding him the right way. The girl smiled brightly and looked down on the tiny boy, who smiled back at her and lifted up one of his hands, reaching for her hair.

It wasn't much later that Draco fell asleep and Alicia handed him back to the blonde woman. Narcissa smiled and held her son against her chest protectively, thanking the girl and walking out of the hall.

Two weeks into the schoolyear she had found out Alicia was in fact muggleborn and it had made Narcissa question a lot she was taught. According to her parents, mudbloods were unmannered, rude and ugly, Alicia was none of that all, and instead showed better behaviour than most other students.

It had brought quite a bit confusion to the woman, who until then had firmly believed in everything she was taught, though she had to admit it was also fear that played a huge part in that. She knew that if she didn't believe in it, she would get punished for it.

But talking to Alicia had forced her to recognize that the believes had been wrong, in this case then. The girl had black curls, dark brown eyes and a natural dark skin, played the piano just as gladly as Narcissa and was very intelligent for her age.

Narcissa knew the girl wasn't alone, she had many friends and was in fact fairly popular, not only in Slytherin house. Therefor she had no idea why Alicia spent so much time talking to her head of house, but she didn't say anything of it, not like she minded it anyway.

OoO

When it was time to go to sleep, for Draco anyway, though Narcissa had to admit she could use the sleep as well, she lay down in bed and held Draco close, who snuggled against his mother. Narcissa stroked his blonde hair and closed her eyes once she felt the boy was asleep, hoping the nightmares would stay away for just one week.

Though of course she knew they wouldn't, they never did.

Aroud 2 am Narcissa had screamed herself awake and Draco started crying. She looked around the room terrified, holding her son close in an attempt to comfort him while trying to stop crying herself.

It didn't matter how scared she was, or how horrible the dream had been, Draco had been scared because she screamed and she could slap herself for it. Narcissa tried her hardest to compose herself, or at least long enough for Draco to fall back asleep. She got up from the bed soon after, casted a silencing charm around the little boy and sat down in a soft armchair.

Narcissa wrapped her arms around her legs and rocked in the chair shakily, tears streaming down her face as she bit her lip in an attempt to stop them from falling. She would have to find another place for Draco to stay, he couldn't wake up every night because of her of course. Maybe Minerva would, for only a couple of nights..

She didn't know how long it took, but Narcissa fell asleep in the chair and when she woke up, she was still scared.

OoO

 **This is shorter than usual, but I'm going to put the boggart in class, Cygnus visiting and Minerva finding out all in one chapter so I couldn't really continue in this one, sorry. Reviews please?**


	6. The visit

**Warnings for this chapter: Abuse and implied rape.**

OoO

Narcissa was woken up by an house elf the next morning, she was still very tired but got up shakingly to look at Draco. The child was sound asleep, she picked him up carefully and sat down on the bed, kissing his forehead as he awoke. "Good morning little one.. sorry for tonight" She sighed softly and held him close against her chest.

Draco babbled something in a language his mother assumed not even he himself understood and she chuckled a bit, holding him protectively as she looked around the room with caution. An elf appeared again with a set of dark green robes for her to wear and stated that it already was almost time for breakfast.

Twenty minutes later Narcissa was sitting in the Great hall, her tiredness hidden as well as possible behind glamours. She wasn't hungry herself, but simply fed Draco his bowl. Minerva looked at her worriedly "Eat something Narcissa, you haven't had anything yet."

The blonde shook her head softly and Minerva sighed, continuing more sternly "Narcissa, I don't know what's going on, and I'm not going to ask it, but you will eat. You have classes to teach and a son to take care of, eat something."

Narcissa looked a bit startled by the strict voice and nodded softly. "S sorry Minerva." She whispered and started to eat some bread herself. The older woman looked at her sadly and placed a hand on her knee.

"Don't be, really."

OoO

Second period, the third years from Hufflepuff and Slytherin would have a practical lesson with boggarts and looking at the way they all walked into the classroom, they were excited. Narcissa waited until they all had sat down and made them go silent. "As you all know, today you will all face a boggart. You have studied the creature as homework, and together with my explanation last lesson, each of you should be fine."

She paused for a moment "Though I do have to let you know, not all boggarts can be fought off. The key to defeating a boggart is to turn it into something hilarious, a boggart can't stand laughing as you all know. But not all fears can be turned into something to laugh about, don't be surprised if it just doesn't work for you, it's alright.

The first student I hear laughing about another because of their fear, or the fact that they are not able to fight of the boggart, gets two weeks of detention and will be send to the headmaster. This is _not_ something to make fun of." Narcissa spoke with a warning undertone in her voice, and the students all nodded. She only hoped each of the students would do well, as she would not be able to interfere if they didn't.

"And last, if someone fails to fight it off, I want another students to help them or do it for them. This lesson I'll be only here to make sure nothing goes too wrong." She noticed the slightly confused expressions of the students but they nodded anyway.

Narcissa walked to the closet with the boggart inside and looked at the students. "I want you all to stand up and walk to the front of the class. The tables and chairs will go out of the way and the middle of the classroom will be used to fight off the boggart." The students did so and with a wave of her wand all the furniture was shoved against one of the walls.

She looked at the first student who would face it and when the girl nodded to let her know she was ready, Narcissa opened the doors and stepped aside quickly.

It went fairly well, no one failed to fight the creature off until the last student was standing in front of it. A smaller Slytherin boy, and the boggart changed into no one else but Bellatrix Lestrange, Narcissa's own sister. The boy froze and looked at the woman with fear, one look at the list of names was enough to understand why, Bella had murdered his father during the war.

None of the students dared come close to the dark haired witch who was laughing viciously, not close enough for the boggart to change into something else. Narcissa shivered and stepped between the student and her sister, shutting her eyes tight not to have to see her own boggart.

A slap across her face made her eyes snap open in fear, she looked up in the eyes of Cygnus Black and gasped. Somewhere in her mind she realized it wasn't real, but fear overtook her and she couldn't do anything but step back against the wall. Cygnus smirked at her darkly, his eyes sparkling with what she knew from Bella, bloodlust. He leaned forward and Narcissa could feel his hot breath on her face, she shivered and tried to move away.

He grabbed her throat and she froze. She knew boggart were not able to kill, at least not directly, it had happened more than once someone died because of a heartattack, but she didn't think of it now. "Where do you think you're going, sweetie?" He growled and Narcissa cried softly, shaking her head, indicating she didn't know.

"P please.." She whispered, though it was audible through the whole room. Another slap and Narcissa winced because of the pain before the man moved away, pulling out his wand.

"Please, what?" He kicked her. "Speak with two words, _sweetie_." Cygnus laughed as Narcissa gasped in pain and she looked terrified at his wand.

She shivered "Please sir.." She was terrified of what he might do when one of the students finally stepped in front of the boggart, making it turn into a giant spider. The girl easily fought it off and put the creature back into the closet. The students looked at Narcissa, who was staring horrified at the place the boggart had been standing just then.

The blonde woman was still crying and said shakingly "Class is over. Bring your books next lesson and tell the next students class is cancelled." A few students looked at her worriedly, Hufflepuffs because they were just generally caring, and her Slytherins, she was there head of house after all. When the room was empty Narcissa sat down against the wall, fearing the visit more than ever.

OoO

Narcissa couldn't even remember how the other classes went, and by the end of the day she was exhausted. During lunch she saw the worried stares from both the Hufflepuff and Slytherin table but she didn't do anything. Minerva tried to talk to her, but she shook her head and excused herself.

Now all classes had ended, she was standing outside Minerva's rooms with Draco in her arms. She would have to ask if he could sleep with her, Narcissa would miss her son of course, but he shouldn't have to wake up just because she had some bad memories. She was still angry with herself for letting it happen last night, Draco deserved better.

She knocked softly, barely loud enough to hear but Minerva opened the door, looking surprised to find the blonde standing there. "Come inside." The older woman said, shortly but still worried. The trails of tears were still on Narcissa's pale cheeks. She entered the rooms and sat down on the sofa.

"Minerva, I.. wanted to ask you something." Narcissa looked down in her lap, stroking Draco's hair softly. She had no idea how to ask this, it sounded so stupid in her head. _Can my baby sleep with you for a while?_ "Lucius is away for the week, so Draco's staying with me at Hogwarts. But.. I have, a lot of nightmares. So, he's awoken during the night. So.. I was wondering if maybe, Draco could sleep with you? For a few days.."

She forced herself not to blush and looked at Minerva, who smiled softly and nodded "Of course he can, but, how do you know you'll have nightmares tonight as well? You can't predict your dreams right?"

Narcissa's face showed clearly the relief she felt as she looked at her friend gratefully, but she looked away a bit before answering "I always have them, it won't be an exception this week I assume." She felt embarrassed to admit it, so far only Lucius and Bella knew of the nightmares, Bella had them too after all.

The other woman sat down next to her and looked at the blonde with pity. "Narcissa, what on earth happened to you? Your boggart, nightmares, everything.." She slowly leaned in to hug Narcissa, having learned the woman got startled easily when she held her without warning, and the blonde hugged back, laying her head in Minerva's shoulder.

Narcissa cried silently, neither said anything as the older woman let her cry in her arms. Draco crawled away from them on the couch and Narcissa moved closer, still crying. With a trembling voice she whispered "Cygnus Black.. the boggart. Cygnus Black…" She shivered and Minerva gasped softly, immediately recognizing the name.

Her father. Narcissa's boggart was her father. Minerva looked at her shocked, not quite believing it. "But.. why? What has he done Narcissa?" But the blonde shook her head wildly, she couldn't say.. She knew what he would do if she did.

Narcissa looked up with tears in her eyes "I can't.. can't say. He'd kill me…"

Minerva realized she was not joking.

OoO

The next morning it wasn't Narcissa who walked into the Great Hall with Draco in her arms, but Minerva. She chuckled at the confused stares of students when Narcissa walked in ten minutes later and gratefully took over her child, whispered a quick thank you and sat down next to her. Minutes later the mail arrived.

Between all the owls, Narcissa spotted a large black one and her eyes widened, the Black family owl. She stiffly took the letter it was carrying, not without being bitten three times by the animal, obviously father's work. Hesitatingly she opened the envelope and read the letter inside.

 _Narcissa._

 _I will come to the school somewhere between eleven and two, be ready. We need to talk, sweetie._

 _Yours, Cygnus Black._

Narcissa shivered and tore the letter apart, ignoring the looks she got from students and other teachers. Minerva looked at her pitiful when she saw the name of the sender but said nothing. The blonde took a few deep breaths, left the rest of her breakfast for what is was and left the hall, Draco held protectively in her arms.

It was almost 2 pm, he hadn't come yet.

Narcissa was teaching the same class where it went wrong with the boggart, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins from the third year. This lesson they had asked three times who the man had been, until both the houses had ten points less. They would soon find out anyway, if he'd come that is.

But of course he did. Halfway through the lesson Cygnus Black knocked on the door and didn't wait for an answer to walk inside the classroom. The students looked at him shocked and then to Narcissa to see her reaction. She shivered slightly but forced herself to remain as calm as possible, he wouldn't do anything as long as there were people who saw. She hoped.

"Good afternoon Narcissa, I'm terribly sorry I'm late." He smiled politely at her, ignoring everyone else. She knew this voice all too well, hidden anger. The thought only of what he would do once he had the chance sent a shiver up her spine.

She forced herself to answer "Good afternoon father, and of course it's alright." Narcissa looked at the shocked looks as the students realized it one by one, but looked straight at Cygnus as she continued. "I'm in class now though, it will end in half an hour, if you could come back then?"

The man nodded and turned around, walking out of the room. Narcissa sighed softly in relief and looked at the students. A girl from Hufflepuff spoke softly "That was your father?.. But he was also-" She was cut off by a Slytherin boy.

"Yes, leave it. Can't you see she doesn't want to talk about it?" He said defensively and the girl looked down, she blushed and apoligized.

Narcissa smiled softly "That's quite alright, and thank you mr. Cavanaugh." She sighed softly and sat down beside her desk. Lying and saying her boggart and father were different men was useless, they were children, not idiots. "Yes, it is my father. And yes, you also saw him as my boggart. No more questions."

OoO

Half an hour later the class was dismissed and Narcissa sat silently in her office, waiting for Cygnus to enter. Draco was in her private rooms, an elf watching over him. If he would ask for her, Narcissa would simply tell him he was with Alicia.

A few minutes later, Cygnus Black came walking in the office. His face was now filled with anger and Narcissa stood up immediately. "Father." She bowed her head and he slapped her.

She winced and looked up at him in fear "What do you want, sir?" He smirked and pushed her roughly against a wall, took his wand out and casted _Sectum Sempra_. Narcissa screamed, fell down and reached for her stomach, a deep cut had appeared and it was bleeding, a lot.

"I want you. But first, let's play." He smirked and crucioed the crying woman, who screamed louder in pain.

This continued, he casted combinations of horrific curses, causing her to bleed more, scream louder and almost faint because of the unimaginable pain. Her body was covered in small papercuts, overthrown with seawater right after and he had burned the small cuts close. And then he stopped.

That was the scariest part, he would stop and wait, and she would have no idea when he continued with the second part of his punishment. The second part had always been the worst in Narcissa's eyes, it hurt and would leave her feel dirty for days after. The rape.

OoO

When Cygnus had finally left the school, Narcissa stayed where she was, crying and she screamed everytime she moved even a bit. Something had happened to make him this angry, but she had no idea what. All she wanted was to take a long shower to feel less dirty, but she couldn't even move without feeling the still open wounds.

So she layed in her office, praying it wouldn't be a student to walk in, or anyone really. If someone saw her in this state.. She'd surely die of embarrassment before her father could even get to her. Narcissa didn't know what time it was now, but there was a teachers meeting planned at 4:30, someone would surely miss her, right?

She would just have to get herself ready, or at least more presentable then she was now. Naked, covered in blood and crying on the floor of her office. She shuddered at the thought and tried to organize her mind despite her current state.

This was what she was best at, Bella had taught her what to do since she was six, a necessity in their house. First, a healing potion for the cuts, if she'd cast glamours over them now it would feel worse than the cruciatus, that was a mistake you only made one time. Narcissa called an elf by whispering her name and told her to get a healing potion from mrs. Hawthorne.

Five minutes later the elf returned, stating that the teacher did not want to give such a potion without knowing why, and not at all to her, who had watched Carol's wife getting tortured. Somewhere Narcissa understood, but right now she only felt anger towards the woman. She could try with just the spells, though it wouldn't do at all, she knew that.

Narcissa sighed and sat up, screaming at the sudden pain. Elfs were horrible at healingmagic, she could curse them for it right now. So she simply ordered the useless thing to get her wand and performed a basic healing charm, shaking her head when it didn't work. _Concentrate.._

She ordered the elf to go back to mrs. Hawthorne and instead ask for a painreliever, those things only worked for an hour or so, but it was better than nothing. The elf was right back with the potion and Narcissa drank it thankfully.

Now the pain didn't destract her anymore, she took care of the wounds covering her body, some were still bleeding and even with the potion she could feel a sting. She couldn't cast glamours for now, knowing it would only make the scars hurt more once the potion wore off. Instead she shakingly walked towards the bathroom, first making sure Draco was still happily playing with the elf assigned to him.

The hot water felt like it burned on her skin and she screamed again, some wounds reopened because of it, it only made the water hurt more. Narcissa felt disgusting, she couldn't wash herself properly with all the renewed scars and the dirty feeling didn't leave at all. If she had just gotten that healing potion…

When she stepped out of the shower, the blonde woman looked into the mirror crying, her naked body covered with scars she couldn't hide now. She would get it herself.

Narcissa threw on a bathrobe, wincing when it touched the scars, and walked towards her fireplace. It was probably a stupid decision to go to Mrs. Hawthorne like this, but she didn't have much other options. Casting her glamours without the wounds being healed properly caused a horrible pain, and only made the wounds much worse.

And so she flooed to Carol's office, in her white bathrobes which had small, or less small, bloodstains in it. If she hadn't be in so much pain, the look on the woman's face would have been funny. Carol stood up quickly and looked at Narcissa shocked. "I know." The blonde snapped. "Please, just one healing potion."

The potions teacher nodded and hurried to get one, not saying anything. She came back with a vial filled with bright blue potion and handed it to Narcissa. "What happened?" It was almost worried. The blonde took it and looked at her gratefully.

"Nothing. You did not see a thing, do you hear me?" Her voice was cold, mixed with a fear the other woman didn't understand, but she nodded, a bit scared. Narcissa should have felt bad for scaring the woman like that, especially after what her husband had done to her wife, but she didn't. And she thought she had an acceptable reason for it.

She thanked Carol and flooed back to her office without saying another word. Glad to see that Draco had fallen asleep on the couch, an elf still watching the baby.

Less glad to see Minerva Mcgonagall standing in the office, a shocked face and tears in her eyes.

OoO

 **I'm mean I know, sorry not sorry. (Okay a bit sorry)**


	7. He's back

"I.." Narcissa started.

Minerva walked over to her, her eyes wide as tear streamed down her face. "Narcissa.." But the blonde shook her head softly and stepped back, first taking the blue potion. It instantly felt a lot better and she looked shakingly at the woman in front of her.

The older woman hugged the blonde carefully, who winced slightly but hugged back. "Did he.." Narcissa nodded and sobbed quietly. Minerva simply held the woman close, stroking her hair softly as she cried. "Come Narcissa.. " She led her to the bathroom and carefully took of the blonde's bathrobe, Narcissa shivered from the cold but said nothing, she blushed and looked away, embarrassed when Minerva looked at her worried.

The blonde was carefully taken care of by the other woman, who healed what she could, though most wounds were cursed and could not be healed by magic, who dressed her, being careful not to hurt her further, and who sat her down on the sofa to sit beside her. "What has he done, Narcissa?.."

It felt almost unreal, except for Lucius and of course Bella, no one had ever helped her like this, not even Dromeda. Narcissa looked down into her lap, closing her eyes before answering. "Loads of curses.. Cruciatus.." She shivered "R rape.." Minerva gasped softly and hugged the small woman.

"How could he.. Come here…" Narcissa moved closer to her, curling up slowly in the embrace. Minerva send a patronus to Albus, saying neither of them would come to the meeting that afternoon and they sat like this for hours. The older woman stroking the blonde's hair softly until she had calmed down at least a bit.

Neither went to the Great hall for dinner, instead they ordered an elf to bring something to eat and stayed on the sofa. Though it was silent, Narcissa was immensely grateful for the source of comfort given by the other woman. Draco was taken care of by another house elf until the blonde was calmed down, and Minerva had told her not to worry about anything for now.

When Narcissa fell asleep, Minerva layed her down in her own bed and layed down herself on the sofa, not leaving her alone for tonight. As requested by the blonde, the lights stayed on and the elder had asked the elf watching Draco to wake her up if either the boy or Narcissa would wake up.

Minerva calmed the blonde down when she woke up because of a nightmare and held her until she fell back asleep, and the next morning she made sure Narcissa was well enough to teach, which the blonde insisted she was.

Narcissa had had always trouble with others helping her, hating how it made her feel weak, but she was thankful for Minerva's help, she was embarrassed to admit it, but she had needed it. She knew it would be a few days before she would be back to her usual self, not that that was completely okay, but she didn't expect that.

"Narcissa, are you sure you can teach today? Don't force yourself to act like nothing happened.." Her voice was worried and Minerva looked at the woman almost pleadingly. But Narcissa shook her head softly.

She sighed "Don't worry, I'm fine, honestly. And I don't have another choice Minerva, I'm used to it by now." Narcissa smiled slightly. "I'll be fine, promise." Minerva sighed softly.

"Let's go then."

OoO

After her last lesson, Alicia came to visit her in her office. The girl walked in looking a bit shy and greeted the older woman. "Good afternoon, mrs. Malfoy." She smiled and sat down in an armchair.

"Good afternoon Alicia, how are you?" Narcissa smiled at the girl and offered her a chocolate truffle from the bowl on her desk, which she gladly took. Alicia looked down a bit, blushing a bit when she shook her head.

The blonde looked worriedly at her and asked what was wrong, the black haired girl spoke softly. "They want to close the orphanage." She bit her lip as she continued "They don't have enough money anymore, a lot of children have been adopted, according to miss Ives. But.. I'm not there and, the ones who don't find a new home… they will probably have to live on the streets.."

She looked at Narcissa with tears in her eyes and the blonde stared at her unbelievingly. She had known Alicia was an orphan, her parents had died in a carcrash, whatever that was, when she was three years old and the girl had since then lived in an orphanage near Wiltshire.

"They can't actually.. do that, can they?" It couldn't be true, sending innocent children to live on the streets? Muggles couldn't possibly think that was normal. But Alicia nodded softly.

"They can. I think most of the children will be adopted soon enough though.. But I'm not even there to see possible parents, and who would want a witch?.. No normal muggles would." The girl was clearly trying not to cry, though two tears fell slowly down her cheeks. Narcissa stood up and walked over to her, forcing herself not to flinch away when the twelve year old hugged her.

The woman shook her head "You won't live on the streets Alicia, I'm sure you can stay at Hogwarts during the summer, multiple professors do that as well. And even if they won't let you, I promise you won't go to the streets, I promise." She stroked the girls' hair softly, feeling her calming down slowly. Alicia looked up.

"Where else do I have to go?.." Narcissa closed her eyes, mentally slapping herself for what she was about to say.

"Malfoy Manor."

OoO

Monday.

It was finally Monday.

Narcissa was extremely tired, still hurt and she flinched slightly whenever someone made an unexpected move. She needed Lucius and couldn't help but smile that she would see him tonight again when she returned home.

She and Minerva walked to the great hall together, Draco in her arms babbling non-existent words. She had thanked the other woman thoroughly for everything she had done the past week but Minerva didn't seem to mind it at all.

When she was sitting in the great hall during lunch, the doors opened while everyone was eating. Narcissa didn't look up at first, but a few others did and they started whispering. The blonde raised her head slowly and gasped, a bright smile appearing on her face as she stood up, Minerva took Draco from her.

Lucius.

Narcissa made her way down the teachers table and walked over to her husband as quickly as she could. Lucius smiled brightly and held his wife close in his arms, burying his face in her blonde hair.

They didn't say anything at first, Narcissa hugged him tight and buried her head in his warm chest, finally feeling the comfort it gave her again. "I missed you so much.." She whispered it just loud enough for him to hear and Lucius kissed the top of her head.

"I missed you too darling.. so much." Everyone was watching them so he didn't ask anything, yet. It was obvious to the young woman he felt guilty for leaving her, he always did when he went on a trip. Narcissa smiled softly and stood on her toes in an attempt to kiss him.

Lucius chuckled and moved his head lower, kissing her softly before embracing the woman once more. "When do you have class again?" He asked softly, stroking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Ten minutes, afterwards a free period though. Will you wait?" He smiled and nodded.

"Of course I will, where is Draco?" "Minerva has him, but he'll be with you in my rooms when I teach."

Lucius smiled and nodded "Alright then, I'll see you then love." He kissed her forehead and she smiled before he walked out of the hall, proud and arrogant as ever.

OoO

The next lesson couldn't be over soon enough for Narcissa, but at last it ended.

Lucius was waiting for her in her private rooms, Draco in his lap laughing while the man tickled him. The woman smiled brightly and sat down beside him. He kissed Draco's head and laid him down in his small crib. Then he turned to Narcissa. "Did he visit?.." She nodded and Lucius held her close, not having to ask how she was, he knew her reaction to it. He did ask who helped her and Narcissa answered softly.

"Minerva.. I asked her to look after Draco during the night, I kept waking him up when I screamed.. She came into my rooms when.. right after he.. " She didn't need to say more, Lucius understood what she meant and kissed her head.

"I'm glad she did, I don't even want to imagine how you would have been if no one had been here for you…" His face was filled with guilt but Narcissa shook her head softly.

She took his hands "it's not your fault love, honestly, don't blame yourself for something he did…"She knew it would only help a little, but she also knew there was not much else she could do. The guilt always washed away after a day, max two. Lucius smiled softly and the woman sighed.

"I need to say something though…" He looked at her curiously and she continued after closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "I may or may not have told Alicia she can stay at Malfoy Manor during the holidays."

Lucius looked at her surprised, not angry, simply surprised. "And.. why exactly?" She had told him about Alicia a couple of times, though she might have let out the fact that the girl was muggleborn.

"I told you she lives in an orphanage right?" he nodded "Well, the orphanage is closing. A lot of children are being adopted now, but since she isn't there but here, no one can adopt her. And.. the children who don't find a new family, will have to live on the streets, with barely anything."

She looked down "It's just for the summerholidays, and if you don't want to, I'm sure she could stay here if she really has nowhere else to go…" But Lucius smiled softly

"If you're sure about it, I'm not going to argue Narcissa. From what I've heard she's just fine, well-mannered and intelligent. Of course she could stay for a few months a year. But do tell me more about her though."

Narcissa sighed in relief and smiled "Well, like I said, she loves literature, is very intelligent, good at potions, charms and Defence against the dark arts, she's a bit shy, and she's muggleborn." Lucius' face dropped when she said the last words.

"Muggleborn?" The woman nodded softly. "How can a girl like that, be muggleborn?" He seemed genuinely surprised, and Narcissa knew her reactions had been the exact same thing.

"No idea honestly, but there's no way to notice it. Sorry I didn't mention it before but, she's really great, honestly."

Lucius nodded thoughtfully "Well.. I trust your judgement of course, but I'd have to meet her myself first."

It was all Narcissa could ask of him.

OoO

 **Reviews please?**


	8. The patronus

Later that week Narcissa was teaching the seventh year the Patronus charm. It was a very difficult spell and most students seemed to have trouble with it, though there were a few who had succeeded in creating a white fog.

She walked to the front of the class and caught everyone's attention. "Everyone please sit down at your desk, we'll be trying it in a different way next lesson." The students sighed and sat down, disappointed. Narcissa continued "The Patronus charm is one of the most difficult spells there is, for it requires your most happy and powerful memory.

I've seen that all of you manage the wand movement and the incantation, it's the memory you need to work on. So I want you to write down your most happy and powerful memories on the parchment, make a list as long as possible and then start to line through the ones you don't think will be enough. Until you're left with one or two memories.

This will be your homework for next lesson, and then we'll try again. Any questions?" A hufflepuff boy raised his hand. "Yes?"

"What is your patronus professor? Could you show us how it has to look in the end?" Narcissa smiled and nodded.

"Of course, watch." She took her wand and concentrated strongly at the moments after Draco's birth.

 _"_ _He'll be alright love.. he'll be just fine, healthy…" Lucius' voice was trembling as he was sitting next to his wife, who had just given birth, again. His words sounded unsure, and neither of the two wanted to hope too much that this child would make it, they had learned by now it would only hurt more._

 _That's when the nurse walked in, the same nurse that had been with Narcissa through all the past miscarriages, and she was crying. The blondes face fell "No.." But the nurse shook her head quickly, a smile on her face._

 _"_ _Tears of happiness Narcissa, he's alive." She walked towards the couple and handed the small baby boy to Lucius. "He's small, but healthy and I'm sure he will make it. Congratulations."_

 _"_ _T thank you.." Narcissa started crying, relief and happiness washing over her. For past eight months, as the child had been born a month early, both she and Lucius had been terrified out of their minds to lose him too, but he was here. He was here and he was healthy and alive and it was all she could ask for._

 _Lucius too had tears on his cheeks when he handed his son, his son, to the woman. "How shall we name him love?" The blonde had thought of it often and discussed it with her husband often times as well. She knew exactly what her son would be called._

 _"_ _Draco. Draco Lucius Malfoy."_

"Expecto patronum." She waved her wand and a beautiful silver swan shot out of it, elegantly flying across the room. "A patronus is a very delicate thing," Narcissa continued as the class stared at the swan. "You have to keep your attention to it, or," She looked at the class again. "It will fade away."

She smiled as the swan disappeared into nothing and continued. "It's appearance can also change. It can transform to fit your partner's patronus, though that does not happen very often, only when the other is truly your soulmate." A hand was raised.

"What is your husband's patronus then?"

Narcissa smiled as she answered. "A male swan."

OoO

At the end of the day Lucius would come to her office, as would Alicia. They'd talk with the three of them about the girl being adopted by the couple, and Lucius would have the chance to meet her.

Narcissa knew Lucius had his doubts about her bloodstatus and she couldn't blame him, hadn't she been the exact same only a couple of weeks ago? And Alicia was very nervous about meeting him, not wanting to mess it up at all, though she was now mostly convinced it would go perfectly fine.

The blonde heard a soft knock on the door and smiled as she opened it, inviting Alicia inside the rooms. "How are you?"

Alicia chuckled "Nervous, of course. Is Lu- I mean mr. Malfoy here yet?"

"No, he'll arrive in five minutes, sit down dear." Narcissa smiled and gestured to the sofa, she herself took place on the other sofa, facing the girl. "You'll do just fine, honestly."

Minutes later Lucius appeared in the fireplace, black robes as always, his hair tied in a black ribbon. He smiled at Narcissa first, kissing her forehead and greeting the woman. Then he turned to Alicia, looking curiously at her as she blushed and stood up. "Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy." The girl offered her hand shyly and Lucius took it.

"Good afternoon, Alicia." The man sat down "Narcissa has told me a lot about you." Alicia smiled softly and looked at him.

"Only good things, I assume?" Lucius chuckled softly and nodded.

He smiled "Yes, only good things. Though I can't go against my wife's choices, I have to ask you a few things, if that's okay." The man paused and waited for the girl to nod, letting him know it was fine. He continued "If you'd be taken into our family, you would need to learn the pureblood etiquettes, all."

Alicia nodded. "I know, Narcissa has explained it, I'm willing to learn them."

The blonde man smiled "Very well, you will also be prepared for the prophet, I'm sure you've read some of the things they write, it's amusing until you're in it. And this, will be front paper news.

And last, once we adopt you, you will be a part of the Malfoy family, which means that your name changes, to Alicia Malfoy, or Alicia Malfoy-Fields if you prefer. Together with your bloodstatus, you'll be seen as pureblood by society."

The girl nodded softly and stared at the air in front of her for a while, deep in thought. "I'll take your name. Alicia Malfoy. And, with a bit of help, I'm sure I'll be able to deal with the press." She looked up hopefully "Does that mean…"

Narcissa nodded and smiled, standing up to hug the girl "Yes, we'll go to the ministry, and the orphanage, and from this evening on, you'll be our daughter. Alicia Malfoy." The young girl smiled and hugged the woman back, looking at Lucius with one eye.

"And, you just.. agreed?" She seemed a bit doubtful, having heard the stories about the Malfoys from last year, a pureblood elitist family, that would never accept someone like her, different in all ways.

Lucius nodded "I don't know you yet, but I don't dislike you. And even if I did, I can't say no to Narcissa, she's quite demanding when it's important to her, honestly." Narcissa chuckled at his tone and shook her head.

"I know what you mean sir, horrific sometimes, isn't it?" Lucius smiled and nodded in agreement.

Narcissa rolled her eyes "It's great you two found something to talk about, but continue when I'm not in the same room?" She chuckled and looked at her husband and Alicia. "If I take Alicia to the ministry, Lucius can go to the orphanage, alright?"

OoO

Minutes later she and Alicia flooed to the ministry, the woman had an arm draped around the girl's shoulder as they walked to the right desk. It took a while, but two hours later the girl was officially Alicia Malfoy, adopted daughter of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.

The shocked look the wizard who made up the papers gave them was priceless, they both agreed, and when they got back to Hogwarts Lucius was already waiting for them.

The three of them talked for a short while before Lucius kissed his wife goodnight, said goodnight to Alicia and returned home to Draco. Alicia decided to stay in Narcissa's rooms for one night before returning to her own dorms and the woman smiled brightly and hugged the girl once more.

The blonde took a bit of the Dreamless sleep potion and lay down in her bed, Alicia not hesitating to lay down beside her, smiling softly. "Goodnight…" Narcissa smiled as the girl snuggled a bit closer and she closed her eyes. "Goodnight dear."

Minutes later they were both asleep, tired after the long day.

 **Very short, but I didn't sleep at fucking all tonight and im tired, I'll try to make the next chapter longer, sorry!**


	9. Fight back

**A/N: To all the reviews: I'm sorry I don't answer most of them, for some reason my laptop doesn't send answers so I have to do it with my phone, which goes a lot slower, but I really appreciate it and thank you all so much!**

Narcissa woke up the next morning, smiling softly at the girl still sleeping in her arms. Her daughter. Alicia was now officially her daughter.

Alicia Malfoy. Her daughter, Alicia Malfoy.

The girl woke up, looking up at Narcissa. First there was confusion on her face as to why exactly she was sleeping next to her Head of house, then she remembered and smiled "Good morning" She moved a bit closer to Narcissa, who smiled at how trusting the girl already was.

"Good morning dear" The blonde sat up and stretched her arms, stifling a yawn with her hand. "Slept well?' Alicia nodded and sat up as well, black curls falling over her shoulders as she leaned forward, wiping the sleep out of her eyes. Narcissa smiled softly "Ready for today?"

She nodded softly, though the girl's eyes seemed a bit doubtful. "What do you think people will say?"

Narcissa smiled and looked at Alicia "They will be surprised, some will say it's a move to gain back popularity from our side, some will think it's fake and just for some attention, and there will be people who think it's you trying to get higher marks in Defence against the dark arts." At Alicia's raised eyebrow the woman laughed "Yes, people are actually that stupid, getting adopted by a teacher so you can achieve a higher grade."

Both chuckled and got ready quickly, when it was time for breakfast Alicia was wearing her Slytherin uniform, after breakfast she would go to her dorm to collect her books for today's classes. She walked towards the Great hall with Narcissa, who put an arm around her shoulder, squeezing it softly as a sign of support.

Mail hadn't arrived yet and they both sat down, Alicia with her friends at Slytherin table, who gave her questioning looks as to where she had been last night, Narcissa next to Minerva, who smiled at her. The blonde had told her friend about the plan to adopt Alicia after the conversation she had had with the girl, she smiled back and whispered "Lucius agreed, we went to the ministry last night."

Barely able to hide her excitement, Narcissa focused on filling her plate with brioche and some toast, looking at Minerva expectantly, who smiled and looked over to Alicia. "So I assume it will be in the papers today?" The blonde nodded and looked up when the first owls flew into the hall.

A few minutes later it was a chaos, all the students looking at either Narcissa or Alicia, shouting questions and pointing at the news article. Narcissa sighed and looked at the girl, her daughter, and smiled softly at her. Next to her, Albus Dumbledore stood up and got the hall silent without afford, she continued eating, ignoring the stares and looking at Alicia regularly to see how she was doing.

Narcissa smiled proudly when her daughter was doing the exact same thing.

OoO

"Yes, her last name is Malfoy, and yes mr. Rosier she's my daughter. Now SILENCE."

Narcissa didn't raised her voice often like that and the class got silent immediately. She always tried not to, knowing it made some students uncomfortable.

Classes had been horrible today, during every lesson, at least every five minutes someone would ask about Alicia and she didn't know how long it would be before they'd stop. Obviously the blonde understood it was a big thing, but honestly didn't they read the article?

She just hoped it was better for Alicia, but Narcissa feared she was wrong.

During sixth period, Alicia herself walked into the classroom, followed by her fellow second year Slytherins, and the group of Ravenclaws. Everyone seemed to look expectantly at her and Alicia but Narcissa sighed softly and simply started class. "As homework you had to write a half feet on the Protego charm, I want the essays at my desk now. Who has failed to complete the assignment?"

Their last lesson had been just two days ago, but as it was just half a feet, she didn't expect more than 7 out of twenty students who raised their hand, under which Alicia. "All of you, detention in my office at eight pm after dinner. Bring just a quill and some ink."

A lot of students seemed to be surprised and Narcissa looked around expectantly. "What's the matter, it's the usual when you don't make an assignment."

A ravenclaw raised his hand "Even your own daughter?" And the woman closed her eyes for a short while before answering.

"Yes of course, even my daughter. If she didn't complete the assignment, she receives a detention, like everyone in this classroom, why would it be different? She's my daughter, and my student." Alicia blushed slightly, though it was barely noticeable due to her dark skin, but she simply looked at the student, her eyebrows raised. The boy had no answer.

OoO

A couple of weeks after the adoption, it seemed like most people had grown used to Alicia often staying with her new mother, or seeing them together. It was a huge relief for both of them to be able to walk somewhere without all the stares.

And then the invitation came.

It was send to both Alicia and her, inviting both of them to come to Black manor to visit Cygnus. It stated that the man wanted to get to know his dear granddaughter, and Narcissa sighed softly, she knew they would have to go as disobeying her father only made matters worse. She just hoped he would only punish her for it, not Alicia.

Before it was time to leave, said girl asked curiously why Narcissa seemed so nervous, scared almost. The woman sighed softly "I don't have time to explain a lot, but you have to be careful around my father. He's not a kind man. I'll explain when we return okay?" Alicia nodded softly, standing closer to her mother.

Minutes later they were standing in front of Black Manor. Narcissa had an arm wrapped around Alicia and knocked at the door stiffly, it was opened by a house elf who lead them to the large livingroom. The blonde sat down on the dark red sofa and Alicia sat close beside her, resting her head on the woman's shoulder. The elf spoke with an annoying high voice "Master will be coming soon, mistress Narcissa."

She nodded and dismissed the elf, not before noticing the deep cut across its back when it turned around. It seemed like she was not the only one having to deal with Cygnus' anger.

Two years ago her mother had passed away, it was all over the papers what could have happened to the still fairly young woman, but her husband had not wanted to answer any questions, stating that he was too overwhelmed to think about it at the time. Now it was long forgotten and only their three daughters knew for almost certain what had happened. If someone had even told Bellatrix of course.

For a healthy, 45 year old woman to die, seemingly without cause, who had lived with Cygnus Black her whole life? Nothing but murder.

Narcissa shivered slightly at the thought, not that she missed her mother that much, of course not. Druella had been far from innocent in her daughters' treatments, and not just because she too was scared of the man she married. It was the thought that her father had actually killed her, all those years that had been one of the only sources of hope. That father would never kill them, it would give too much bad publicity.

And yet he did.

The woman felt Alicia pulling her arm a bit and she looked up to see Cygnus standing in the doorway. He looked angry, but what scared her the most was that this time the anger was not only directed at her. Alicia. "A mudblood. You took in, a mudblood." Narcissa nodded, holding an arm in front of Alicia protectively while looking at her father.

His voice was trilling with anger. "How dare you. Shaming our name like that, how DARE YOU!" The woman flinched when he yelled the last words and the man chuckled darkly. "Still scared, darling?"

He loved scaring her. Just as much as actually hurting her, he could simply sit at her bed all night, just to show that he could, that she was not safe no matter where. And it terrified her.

Cygnus pulled his wand and pointed it at the mother and daughter in front of him. "Step aside Narcissa." But he didn't wait for her to do anything as he simply blasted her away with a flick of his wand. Alicia looked terrified at the man in front of her and he smirked.

"This is what we do with the bad spots of the family." He raised his wand again, this time pointing at the small girl in front of him, she shook her head softly. Narcissa stood up shakingly, having hit her head rather hard against the wall but she looked at her father with a mix of fear and rage.

"No."

Cygnus looked up surprised, not used to being talked back to, especially not from his daughter. "No?"

"Not my daughter." This must be what Bella had done all those years. Narcissa had never understood how Bella could not be scared to protect her and Meda, but now she knew. She was still terrified of the man in front of her, but the fear of losing her daughter was bigger than the fear of her father. No one hurt her daughter.

Narcissa took her wand as well, but Cygnus was quicker and casted Sectum Sempra at Alicia. The girl screamed loudly, blood streaming out of a deep wound on her leg. The woman disarmed him quickly, stupefying him for now as she turned to Alicia. "It's okay darling.. _Vulnera_ _Sementur_." The wound healed but the girl still looked terrified, she was crying. It broke Narcissa's heart to know she couldn't do anything, not yet.

The blonde turned back to Cygnus, knowing she could not kill him, not in front of her daughter. But seeing him here, standing in front of her without wand, completely at her mercy, she couldn't do nothing either. "Amnesia Completa."

He wouldn't remember. Nothing at all, not his name, his wife, not her. Narcissa lifted the stunning spell and threw him against one of the walls, he'd be out for about half an hour, more than enough time for her and her daughter to leave without a trail.

She almost ran towards Alicia and hugged the young girl "I'm so sorry dear.." but the girl shook her head and simply hugged her tight. Narcissa lifted her up in her arms and casted a few spells to clean up all possible evidence. For now extremely grateful Lucius and Bella had taken the time to teach them.

Then they were gone.

OoO

The next morning it was in the papers, Cygnus Black had lost his memory because of a mysterious attacker.

Narcissa played the part as well as she could, a few fake tears, stating how devastated she was that he didn't remember anything, not even her, not even Druella, whom he had loved so much. A visit to the hospital and saying how much it hurt to know that even after all the time they had spent together, her father saw her as any other stranger.

Alicia stayed with her for over a week, as did Lucius and Draco. The girl was still shaken after what had happened and it seemed like only Narcissa could comfort her, which she gladly did. She had send a letter to Bellatrix, and even one to Andromeda. Though she had no idea if Bella even received things send to her, and Meda would probably tear apart the envelope without bothering to open it.

It hurt more than it should, that thought.

Lucius had told her how proud he was so many times that she was actually starting to believe it. In her eyes it wasn't like she had any other choice, the man hurt her daughter, what kind of mother would let that happen.

When she said that, Alicia looked at her smiling softly "I'm really your daughter?.." She sounded hopeful, and Narcissa nodded, pulling the girl closer against her and kissing her forehead.

"You're my daughter, of course you are."


	10. The niece

The day after the meeting with Cygnus, Narcissa went to the hospital, as did she in the following weeks. Every time she left the room a group of journalists would be waiting for her, asking how her father was doing, how she felt and if things had changed.

Things were going perfectly fine. Her memory charm had been effective enough to keep the man from remembering anything past 24 hours. Every time again he'd ask who she was, where he was, who he was. And what Narcissa did depended on her feelings that day.

Sometimes she would silence the room and scream at him, yell about how he hurt her and her sisters. Other days she'd leave with a simple 'I hope you die.' And some days she would tell him a story about a young girl getting cursed, watch his reaction and when he asked who it was about, hiss that it was him. The confusion and pain in his face were worth every visit.

Narcissa had picked up her old passion for playing the piano again, as well as the violin and the harp. She still remembered all the pieces she once learned, and with a bit of practice the woman played, in Lucius' words 'As beautiful as you look.'

It had been months after Cygnus had been sent to the hospital, and everyone could see Narcissa being more free, happier. Though neither Lucius nor Alicia, who had cried when she heard the story, expected their mother and wife to ever be completely herself. Narcissa too, knew better than to hope for that.

Nonetheless she continued teaching, playing the piano and trying to have fun. She smiled more often, and it felt like she was so much lighter now that she did not have to worry during the day what her father would think of this, or would do when he knew.

One day she was playing the piano again, her eyes closed as she let her fingers play the keys in a beautiful manner. She didn't notice the change in melody at first, she was simply playing like she always did. But Lucius did and he stood up, he smiled brightly and when Narcissa finished she smiled back. It had been a happy piece, cheerful and hopeful.

The man had kissed her shoulder when he sat down next to her and embraced his wife, he was crying a little, tears she knew were of happiness. Lucius held her close against his chest and she curled up as far as the tight dress Narcissa was wearing under her robes would allow her. She let her head rest against his chest as she closed her eyes and sighed softly as he stroked her hair.

"You'll get better darling.. Maybe not completely, maybe it will take until you're 60.. but you'll get better." Narcissa said nothing but nodded softly, praying for his words to be truthful, that she'd indeed get better. Lucius smiled softly as he held her close.

"That's a promise."

OoO

At the end of the schoolyear Slytherin won the housecup, not less than expected by Narcissa. And when it was time for the students to go to the Hogwarts express, Alicia walked towards her. "Will you be at the platform?" She smiled softly when the woman nodded and hugged her.

"Of course I will be, should I take your trunks with me to the manor?" The girls smiled and nodded, Narcissa took over the trunks from her daughter and waved at her chuckling when she walked to the carriage together with the other students.

Narcissa called an elf to take both her own and Alicia's trunks to the manor and then turned to Minerva. The women hugged and the blonde looked at her smiling "You have to come to the manor sometime, alright?"

Minerva nodded "Of course I will Narcissa." They hugged once more and said goodbye, and Narcissa went home.

Lucius wasn't home yet and Draco was asleep so she sat down on one of the sofas and thought about the past year. It was easy to say she had changed, and it made her wonder and question everything.

She had gone from being incredibly prejudiced to adopting a muggleborn child, and even though she still highly preferred purebloods, it made her question how many of her beliefs were truly her own opinion, and not what her parents had, quite literally, beaten into her.

It was weird to think that way, and in a way it scared her. Though Cygnus had been in the hospital ever since she erased his memory, even the healers couldn't find a way to undo her spell, though that may have been due to Narcissa casting it every once in a while again, she still feared punishment from him whenever she said something against the pureblood beliefs.

She had no idea when that fear would go away, if it ever would. Like Lucius had told her, she was completely traumatized.

Narcissa worried what it would do to Draco's upbringing. Even if she could overcome the fear, she and Lucius had talked about the whispers. Whispers about the Dark Lord not being dead, that he would return some day. If he did, and Draco believed in equality, no matter what blood, he would die.

She shivered at the thought, if the Dark Lord would return, Draco had to belief in pureblood supremacy, which would mean she and Lucius would have to teach them. But with Alicia technically being muggleborn, and the wizarding world starting to see them as less than the pureblood, death eater aristocrats.. Narcissa sighed, it was all so damn complicated.

As Lucius was still at work when the train would arrive, Narcissa took Draco with her to the station. People looked at her curiously but she simply glared at them, holding her son close in her arms. People always talked, always whispered about her and her husband. Still believing they were death eaters, not that she could disagree, Lucius was in fact a death eater of course, but still.

She stood with the other parents as they all waited for the train, pretending she did not notice how people moved out of the way, creating a circle of space around her and Draco." _It does not hurt you, you're better than all of them together. You don't care what they think, weakling."_

Narcissa shivered and shook her head quickly, blocking the voice from her mind. Draco giggled and she looked down on him with a smile as he held her finger tight. She chuckled and kissed his forehead, ignoring the glares of people around them, like every sound she made was a bother. The woman rolled her eyes and instead looked at the railway to see the train already coming their way.

It stopped and Narcissa waited patiently for Alicia to leave it, which she did sooner than most others as she did not have to wait for her trunk. When the girl saw her, a wide smile appeared on her face and she walked towards the woman quickly, looking a bit confused at the wide gap between her and the other people before hugging her mother.

Narcissa chuckled "Like you haven't seen me in a year, instead a few hours ago." And Alicia nodded, laughing too. She looked around to the people staring at them and looked up to Narcissa.

"Why are they glaring at us?"

The blonde sighed softly, glared at a few people and then looked at Alicia. "Because they don't like us. They're jealous, does weird things to some people, a bit sad really." She said it cold and just loud enough for the people close to them to be able to hear her. "Nothing for you to worry about dear, they'll grow up."

Alicia shrugged "Okay then, shall we go.. home?" It felt a bit weird to say it like that, but Narcissa nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"We'll go home dear."

OoO

"I heard rumours, but I had no idea it was actually true…"

Narcissa tensed, she was sitting in a quiet coffee place with Draco, Lucius and Alicia, a month into the holidays and she recognized that voice. The Malfoys and the Weasleys always had a, troublesome, relationship. Rather to say they hated each other, but she and Arthur had always been the worst. And she recognized that voice. The woman turned around to face the ginger man. "What exactly, that you have enough money to buy coffee?"

Her voice was cold but Arthurt shook his head "Narcissa Malfoy, a son? That's not dead? A miracle." He sneered at her and Narcissa paled slightly, forcing herself to remain calm as the man continued. "I mean, what happened to the others again?"

"If you have to ask, you're even more stupid than I already knew." Next to her Lucius shifted but she placed a hand on his knee, wanting to handle the man herself.

Arthur nodded softly "Of course, such a tragedy. Explains the jealousy of course, I think me and my wife have as much children as you have lost."

Alicia looked a bit confused to her mother but Narcissa focused on Arthur, glaring at him with a deadly stare. "Not being able to pay for protection is not something to be proud of Weasley, no matter how you try to bring it." The man flushed and she smirked. "How is that going to be when they grow up.. Every week someone else who won't eat?"

She brought it like pure curiosity and Arthur glared at her, but Narcissa continued. "Or is Molly finally going to work as well? Together with you and your, muggle obsession, would make a great family business, you know, if someone would actually care that you're a disgrace to the name of wizard.

Now go, you're ruining the view." If looks could kill, both Narcissa and Arthur would be long dead, but the latter muttered something under his breath before walking out of the café.

Lucius put an arm around his wife and kissed her cheekbone "Are you okay dear?" She simply nodded.

"I am."

OoO

 **A couple of years later, 1984**

The school year would start today again, Narcissa looked forward to it. She had been made a school counsellor last year, and she loved it. This year Charles Weasley would go to Hogwarts and she like that as well, his older brother was now a third year, and Narcissa would never forget the look on his parents' face when he had come off of the Hogwarts express, telling them about their nice teacher, mrs. Malfoy.

Alicia would make her O.W.L's this year, and the woman could tell she was very nervous, not that the girl had any reason to be, she excelled in all her classes the past years after all.

Narcissa was currently at platform nine and three quarters with her husband, Alicia and a four year old Draco who walked beside her. Lucius had an arm wrapped around his wife's waist and Alicia was walking in front of them, looking for her friends.

People still stared, still whispered and pointed and little Draco started to notice. "Why are those people staring mummy?" Narcissa smiled and lifted her son up, ruffling his hair a bit before answering.

"They're talking about how much of a beautiful little boy you are, they're a bit jealous of your hair I believe." Draco chuckled and smiled proudly, nodding in agreement.

In the main time Alicia had spotted her friends and turned to her parents. "Goodbye mum, dad. Goodbye little one." She kissed Draco's head and hugged him, then hugged Lucius and Narcissa both. "I'll see you at school mum."

Narcissa chuckled and nodded "Goodbye dear" Lucius said the same and Alicia was gone off to her friends.

OoO

During the feast Narcissa sat next to Minerva's chair as always. The other woman was leading first years into the hall and the blonde looked at them with interest, immediately spotting Charles Weasley, ginger like all of them, of course.

The sorting went quite fast, Charles was sorted into Gryffindor, again no suprises there. But Narcissa looked up in shock when Minerva called out one of the last names. "Tonks, Nymphadora." She looked at the little girl walking towards the head, Tonks, that had been the name of the disgusting mudblood her sister had married. Ted Tonks, even a mugglename. But then..

Andromeda Tonks, Ted Tonks and now Nymphadora Tonks, it wasn't a very common name in the wizarding world, they had to be related. She was currently eleven, meaning that Meda had been twenty when she was born, Narcissa had been eighteen when she received the card.

This was Andromeda's daughter, her niece.

The girl stared at her with interest and a curious look and Narcissa wondered what Meda had told her daughter about her and Bella. She still hated, although that was a strong word, it was still her sister after all, Andromeda for leaving her. Andromeda had left when she was seventeen, old enough to marry Tonks. She had been fifteen at the time and Bella nineteen, who had already left home, married off to Rodolphus Lestrange, a man she hated.

So Narcissa had been left alone with her parents, who were more angry than ever and seemingly determined to make sure Narcissa wouldn't do the same as her older sister. She shivered slightly when she thought back, it had been two years of pure hell and she had not yet forgiven Andromeda for putting her through that.

She just hoped she would never have to speak to her, thank Merlin the girl was in Hufflepuff.

OoO

 **I hope you liked it, and if you have any idea for the story, please tell me!**


	11. The howler

Two weeks into the schoolyear Nymphadora Tonks stood in front of Narcissa's desk, the first years had just finished their lesson. When the woman looked up she smiled softly, perhaps a bit forced, at her. "Yes, miss Tonks?"

The girl looked a bit nervous and said "You're my aunt, aren't you?" Narcissa was a bit shocked by the sudden question but nodded anyway, the girl smiled and looked at her curiously.

"Mum has told me a lot about you and my other aunt, she's in prison right? But I never understood, she doesn't want to explain much." Nymphadora shrugged and looked at the woman in front of her, who smiled.

"It's a.. quite complicated story I believe, but if I may ask, what has she told you about me and Bella?" Narcissa smiled softly and gestured for the girl to sit down, offering her a chocolate truffle. It had been the last lesson of today anyway.

Nymphadora looked at the table nervously "Well.. It differs from day to day honestly. Sometimes she says you should've come with her, calls you weak. Other times she says she's sorry for leaving you, sometimes she hates Bellatrix, sometimes she feels sorry for her… It's weird, she never gave me the full story." She looked up to meet Narcissa's eyes, trying to figure out her reaction.

The woman nodded softly "I understand she hasn't, it is a very hard story to tell, I assume."

"It's just.. I know it's difficult, but I also want to understand it… You know, knowing why it's like we don't know you, or Bellatrix, anyone from Mum's family." Nymphadora's hair turned into a soft mint green as she spoke and the blonde nodded in understanding. She wasn't sure how to react, as she still despised Andromeda for what she had done, but Narcissa knew she also could not say so to the woman's daughter.

Narcissa sighed softly "I understand.. But I'm afraid I can not help you with that. You'll have to discuss it with your mother, I'm sorry." It came out colder than she had intended, and the woman could see hurt across her niece's face. She couldn't do this, at least not now.

The blonde stood up "I'm sorry Nymphadora, talk to your mother first. I don't know what I can and can't say." She smiled apologetically at her niece, who nodded softly and stood up as well.

"It's okay, I'll ask mum first." Dora said goodbye and walked out of the door, her aunt sighed softly, Hufflepuffs are really too nice for their own good.

OoO

Two months into the schoolyear, she was teaching the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff first years. Narcissa and Nymphadora had grown a lot closer since, though the topic of her and her sister had never been brought up again. Charles Weasley too liked to come to her office sometimes, just to talk about the newest creature he was interested in.

She smiled, though the fact that Arthur and Molly would hate it that their sons liked her, Narcissa also enjoyed talking to either of them, William, though rather called Bill, was very interested in curses of all sorts and they had spent a lot of time practicing, he was a natural.

This too had made her think, in her eyes the Weasley family had always been a disgrace for the wizarding world, and their parents obviously were. But wasn't she scared that Draco too would receive prejudicement for the things she and Lucius had done? Hadn't she done the exact same thing when the oldest Weasley came to school? Base her opinion on the boy on his parents?

Charles and Bill were a lot different than their parents, both not very interested in muggles and with high ambitions. The youngest wanted to do something with dragons, or another dangerous type of animal, when he grew up. Bill already knew what he wanted to be, a cursebreaker in Egypt. And Narcissa was glad to help both of them.

Now the class was practicing a mild stinging jinx and how to defend yourself from one. They were standing in two rows, enough space between each pair not to accidentally hit someone else, and everyone was very excited.

Narcissa was just standing near Nymphadora, explaining the right way to move her wand for a beter effect on her protego charm, when she heard someone screaming behind her. She quickly turned around to see Charles Weasley on the ground, severe looking burns on his arms and face.

She walked over to the boy quickly and lifted him up in her arms. "DAISY." A female elf appeared and Narcissa looked at it "The usual, everyone sits down, read your notes on how to perform the spells. Everyone who misbehaves, Daisy will tell me, receives two detentions." She would deal with the kid who hurt Charles later, probably just a mispronounced stinging jinx.

The boy in her arms cried from pain as she practically ran towards the Hospital wing, knowing from experience just how much burns like that could hurt, and called madame Pomfrey. "It'll be okay, mr. Weasley, the pain will be over soon."

Narcissa stayed next to the bed as Poppy tried her best to heal Charles, first giving him a numbing potion for the pain. Ten minutes later, with help of a lot of healing charms, the burns were almost completely gone. "Boy, you will feel them stinging for perhaps a week before they're fully gone, you were lucky you got here so soon." The nurse said, before doing a last check up and walking away.

Charles smiled softly, the potion was still working and he didn't feel the pain he should at all. "Thank you professor Malfoy, you saved my life!" He sounded excited and Narcissa chuckled, shaking her head.

"Burns don't kill you, mr. Weasley, rather to say I saved your freckles." The ginger boy chuckled and sat up. "You can leave now, class is almost over anyway so you can just get your bag and wand and leave for lunch." Charles nodded and stood up, thanking her again.

When they returned to the classroom, she noticed the quick whispers of "She's coming!" And had to hide a chuckled. "Daisy, give me the list of names please? I don't think they were this silent the whole time."

The elf handed it over quickly and Narcissa shook her head softly. "Seven out of nineteen…" She proceeded to write the names on the black board with her wand, and nodded to a blonde boy from Gryffindor that he could speak when he raised his hand.

"We're with twenty in a class professor, not nineteen." He chuckled softly, along with his friends and Narcissa raised an eyebrow.

"I realize that, but since mr. Weasley was in the hospital wing, I highly doubt he had anything to do with what happened here, don't you agree?"

OoO

Two days later Narcissa sat in her office grading essays from the third years, when she heard a loud, angry knock on the door. She flinched at first, startled by the sudden noise and her first reaction was fear. The woman stood up, telling herself that her father was in the hospital, didn't even remember her, and opened the door.

"Weasley."

Arthur and Molly Weasley were standing in front of her, both very angry looking. "Come inside, mr and mrs. Weasley." She tried to sound as formal as possible, sitting down again behind her desk. "Do close the door."

Arthur sat down in front of her, his wife next to him as he started talking. "We want you gone from Hogwarts. You're highly incompetent."

That's not quite what she had expected. Narcissa raised an eyebrow and looked at the man "And, why exactly, mr. Weasley?"

She looked at him expectantly and Arthur answered, still looking angry. "Charlie was burned in your classroom two days ago! You are teaching Bill curses?! From what I've heard from Bill, you can't even fight a boggart, what kind of teacher are you?" He paused for a shortwhile "Nothing but a filthy death eater."

Narcissa had to resist the urge to roll her eyes, she was filled with anger but forced herself to remain calm, like a Malfoy. "Well, _Arthur_. Yes, Charles was burned. During a defence against the dark arts class, because the student he was practicing with pronounced the spell wrong. I brought him to the hospital wing, and he is just fine. As I recall, he was also hurt badly during potions class, will you be going to mrs. Hawthorne as well?"

The two people in front of her were silent and so she continued. "I'm teaching Bill curses, yes. As I am sure you know, the boy wants to become a cursebreaker, in Egypt to be exact. As I'm sure you also know, to break a curse you have to know how to cast it. Curse breaking is about the details of a spell, if you're not able to cast it you will never learn to break it. So we're practicing both. Of course I'll stop tutoring him if you disagree, but you tell him. He loves the extra lessons."

She sighed "As for being a death eater, I am not. My husband used to be, yes we all know. But I am not, nor will ever be, a death eater, and if professor Dumbledore trusts me enough to let me work here, surely you do as well? Or do you doubt his judgement?"

"Professor Dumbledore is mistaken. Neither you or your husband can be trusted, especially not with children!" Narcissa did roll her eyes this time, it was just too stupid for words.

"Surpising, I shouldn't be trusted with children and yet have a son and a daughter?" She looked at Arthur challenging, Molly Weasley complete forgotten.

The man glared at her "Yes, one son. After killing seven." And Narcissa paled, even Molly looked at her husband in shock. Arthur paled slightly after registering what he had said and opened his mouth to apologize but the blonde cut him off.

"Get. Out. _Weasley._ " She looked at him with her well known death glare and stood up. "Get the fuck out, and if I _ever_ see you again in my office, I'll fucking kill you."

Both Weasleys stood up quickly and left the room, Molly muttering a soft apology before she closed the door. But Narcissa didn't hear it, instead she threw the ungraded papers in a drawer and sat down on the sofa in her rooms. She cried softly.

OoO

Later that evening during dinner, Narcissa sat at her usual place, discussing animagi with Minerva. Everyone knew the older woman was one of course, less commonly known was that Narcissa could also change into an animal, a swan.

In the middle of the meal, a large brown owl came flying into the hall, carrying a red letter. A howler, as everyone knew. It came flying towards Narcissa.

She tensed a little as she removed the letter from the animal, who flew away immediately. Her eyes widened as she read the sender, _Bellatrix Lestrange_. The woman opened it quickly and Bella's excited voice rang through the hall.

" _Cissy! They FINALLY allowed me to send letters, as long as there is some auror with me when writing or talking, like I could send curses through letters!"_ Bella laughed _"Would that be possible? Yelling a curse into the letter? Anyway, I can finally talk to you! How are you Cissy, I'm worried! I read a newspaper a couple of years ago I think, saying you were a teacher, is that true? My baby sister, a teacher at Hogwarts? If that's the case, you're probably at breakfast now with students. Little Cissy, dealing with children._

 _If it's true, do you like it? Do they treat you well? If they don't I will kill them Cissy, KILL THEM! Oh shush Sirius, I'm almost done I think."_ Narcissa chuckled softly _"Yes Cissy, our cousin is here too, it seems like we're the only ones not going completely insane. No idea what his trick is though, honestly he's still a mystery. And he doesn't seem to like me very much, but that's okay, I don't like him either."_ Knowing Bella, she currently stuck out her tongue to Sirius.

 _"_ _But really, I don't get where all the fuss is about, Azkaban is really boring, and the dementors are no fun. I've started talking to myself I think, sometimes I remember whole conversations but there's no one except for Sirius, Severus and Rodolphus to talk to. Severus is still a git, that's the one thing Sirius and I agree on. Rodolphus is asleep most of the time._

 _The dementors don't affect me that much, except my brain is really foggy. Maybe that's what they're supposed to do? People say they take away all happy thoughts, well, I didn't have much when I came here, maybe that's it! Like you said, I already was insane, maybe the dementors don't make it much worse._

 _How's Draco? I don't know how long I've been here, how old is he? Does he look at least a bit like you? I hope the Dark Lord frees me soon, I want to teach him curses! Are you okay? Is Lucius still treating you fine? If he isn't, tell me._

 _Write back soon Cissy! I really miss you, I even started missing Lucius! Though don't you dare tell him I said that, at least he's more intelligent than Rodolphus. I love you Cissy! Bye!_ "

The hall was completely silent, most faces filled with confusion, a few with fear, and a couple of Gryffindors were laughing silently. Narcissa smiled brightly at the now burned letter, indescribably happy with her sister's words.

She missed Bella too, so incredibly much. For now she continued eating, students and teachers alike would ask tons of questions later.

But first she'd write back.

OoO

 **Soooo, I'm trying to portray Bella as just, crazy. After years of abuse, rape and Azkaban, she has the right to be insane. But she loves Cissy so yeah.**


	12. The nightmare

_Dear Bella,_

 _I was so happy to finally hear from you! To answer all your questions first:_

 _Yes, I'm a teacher Defence against the Dark arts at Hogwarts now, yes they treat me very well, except Arthur Weasley but what do you expect? No, you can't send curses through letters and I was not at breakfast, your letter arrived during dinner._

 _Draco is doing fine, he is now four years old, you've been in Azkaban for three years now. He has Lucius' blond hair, but don't worry it's obvious he's my son. And yes, Lucius is still treating me just fine, don't worry about him and don't worry, he won't hear that you even miss him._

 _I really miss you Bella, I miss your craziness and how you'd jump on my bed to wake me up when I took too long, how you'd chase ducks in the gardens and then sulk because they flew away, even how you'd laugh and tell me to stop being so sentimental right now._

 _I'm glad to hear the dementors don't affect you as much, and I do think it's because you're already practically insane. Now the good news, aurors probably read along but you deserve to know._

 _Father is in the hospital, he's lost his mind and doesn't remember anything. He forgets everything that happened more than 24 hours ago and the healers are not able to help him. They are still trying to figure out who did it, but they haven't found them yet._

 _Meda's daughter is at Hogwarts now too, Nymphadora. Meda has told her a lot about both of us apparently, but not the whole story. I know what you're thinking now but Nymphadora is fine, she goes along fine with Alicia._

 _I haven't even told you about Alicia. Me and Lucius have adopted a girl, three years ago. She is muggleborn, don't freak out, but she is amazing and has picked up all the pureblood rules, she's our daughter._

 _I hope to get another howler soon, say hello to Sirius from me okay? I love you Bella, goodbye._

 _Cissy._

Narcissa read the letter over and over again, it was the same evening she had received Bella's letter and after dinner she had gone straight to her rooms, ignoring all the questions the whole hall would have for her.

She nodded at last and whistled to call her personal owl, Saphira, sending the animal away to Azkaban.

The woman had been incredibly happy to hear of her sister again, she missed Bella with all she had. Though she was a bit scared of her reaction to the news about Alicia, especially when there was no one there who could help her, Narcissa couldn't wait to tell it until Bella would finally get out, it might not ever happen after all.

She could imagine her sister's reaction on everything in that letter perfectly, and knew that the auror with her would have a hard time keeping Bellatrix calm when she read about Cygnus. Bella hated the man just as much as she herself did, how could she not?

OoO

"Bella has send a howler this evening."

Lucius looked up surprised when she spoke. Draco was already asleep in his room and Narcissa was laying with her head in his lap, her eyes closed and he had one hand on her stomach, the other one combing her hair with his fingers. "From Azkaban? They allowed that?"

He sounded curious and Narcissa nodded softly, keeping her eyes closed. "During dinner, she's there with our cousin." Lucius smiled softly and kissed her forehead, she explained the letter again, a smile forming on her face as she spoke.

"I'm glad you've finally heard from her darling, I know how much you miss her.." She nodded softly and sat up, snuggling into her husband's lap and burying her head in his chest. He stroked her hair slowly, his other hand resting on her lower back.

Narcissa took a deep breath through her nose, breathing in the scent of his aftershave, she relaxed and Lucius smiled, his lips pressed against her hair. "I love you so much Cissa."

She felt herself grow warm inside and tried to move closer, curling up in her husband's arms. "I love you more." He raised an eyebrow.

"Impossible, my love. Very much impossible." Narcissa sat up and looked at him, a challenging look in her eyes.

"Oh is it? I don't think so love." He smirked and pulled her a bit closer towards him, placing his hands on her petite waist.

"It definitely is." Lucius laid her carefully down on the sofa and started tickling her, causing the woman to laugh. Narcissa screamed and tried to move away.

The man didn't stop and she screamed, laughing as she tried to wriggle out of his grip. "S s stop it!" She could barely manage to get out the words before resolving in another fit of laughter.

Lucius laughed "What did you say dear?" and Narcissa tried her hardest to look angry at him, she failed desperately when he tickled her again. "I didn't get you."

When he finally stopped Narcissa was desperate for breath, Lucius pulled her close against him, embracing the woman carefully. "It's impossible, believe me." He kissed her earlobe and Narcissa closed her eyes again, wrapping her arms around her husband's neck.

"Fine, you win this time." She muttered in his neck and he smiled before lifting her up in his arms.

"Too tired to put up a fight? That's serious darling." He chuckled when she poked him with one of her elbows and walked to the door, holding the young woman close against him.

Once upstairs he silently checked on Draco, who was still soundlessly asleep, and then walked towards the master bedroom. The man laid down Narcissa on the king sized bed and, when it became clear she had no intention to move again, carefully slid off her robes and dress, carelessly letting them fall on the ground.

Lucius changed into his pyjamas and laid down next to his wife, wrapping his arms around her protectively from behind. The lights were still on when he kissed Narcissa's shoulder, whispering a soft _sleep well_ before closing his eyes.

OoO

At 2 am, both Malfoys were awoken by a house elf. "Mistress Narcissa is requested at Hogwarts, Daisy was ordered to call her."

Narcissa sat up sleepily, looking at the elf frowning "For who?"

"Miss Sophia Marin, mistress. She is crying, mistress." The woman got up immediately and pulled on her bathrobe. She looked at Lucius with an apologetic smile.

"I have to go love.. Sophia is the girl I told you about, who witness her parents.." She didn't need to say more as Lucius nodded in understanding. Before the war had ended, Sophia who was now a sixth year had witnessed the murder both her parents and little sister before she was saved by a couple of aurors.

She lived with her aunt now, but Narcissa knew the nightmares about that night would stay with her for a long time. It had happened more times that it got so badly the girl went to her office, the first time she had been very embarrassed and shy, but now Sophia knew that she understood.

Narcissa kissed Lucius' forehead before taking the elf's hand, who apparated her to the castle immediately. Sophia was sitting shakily at the sofa in her office, her arms wrapped around herself while she cried. The girl looked up when Narcissa appeared "M miss Malfoy.. I'm sorry but…"

The woman shushed her with her hand and sat next to her, wrapping an arm tightly around the girl. "It's okay dear, it's all okay. Daisy, go get some hot chocolate." She knew Sophia liked the drink and it seemed to have a calming effect on her.

Sophia moved closer to her and Narcissa hugged her carefully, rubbing her back until she had calmed down enough to drink the hot chocolate Daisy had brought. She knew Sophia didn't want to talk about her dream, it was always the same one and she had learned that repeating it only made it worse.

When both of them had finished their drink, Sophia was still a bit shaky. She yawned and Narcissa looked at her worriedly. "Will you be okay the rest of the night?" The girl nodded.

"Yes.. It's not like it matters. Either I fall asleep from tiredness here, or in my dorm.. Mr. Malfoy isn't at a business trip this time." She sighed softly and Narcissa shook her head, she was obviously not fine.

The woman stood up "Lucius won't mind, I promise. When we get to the Manor he'll be asleep anyway, the shock will be saved for tomorrow morning. I'm not going to leave you alone now Sophia."

It took a bit more of convincing before the girl was certain Lucius really wouldn't mind and she stood up as well. Narcissa took her arm and called Daisy again, who brought the two to the Manor with a soft pop.

Lucius had fallen asleep again like Narcissa thought and she lead Sophia to the large bed quietly. She herself lay down in the middle of it and Sophia hesitated for a moment before laying down next to her. "Thank you.. Professor.."

She whispered it softly, but Narcissa could see she was a bit ashamed, but also very grateful for not having to return to her dark dormitory alone. "Don't worry about it, goodnight Sophia." The woman whispered back.

OoO

The next morning Lucius was the first to wake up, automatically reaching for Narcissa's warm body. He froze when instead he found two people laying next to him and shook Narcissa awake softly.

She woke up and turned around to look at him, waking up Sophia because of her sudden movement. Lucius looked confused between the two "Narcissa?"

"Sophia stayed here after last night." She simply stated. "You know how I find it impossible to go back to sleep after a nightmare without you, it's the same."

"O-kay.. " He still looked a bit confused but nodded anyway. "Will Sophia and you be staying for breakfast, or go to school?"

"I have to be at Hogwarts, but you can come. It's been too long since we actually ate breakfast together." Lucius couldn't deny it, and half an hour later they were in the Great Hall.

Lucius and Sophia had mostly just ignored one another while getting ready, not quite knowing what to say, but now he was sitting next to Narcissa at the teachers table. It wasn't long before Minerva walked in as well and sat down next to them, greeting Lucius politely before looking at Narcissa.

It looked like she wanted to ask something, but before the woman could speak she was interrupted by the same brown owl who had brought the first howler from Bella. It was carrying another one. Narcissa looked a bit surprised, it had only been yesterday evening since she had written back to Bella. She opened the letter quickly.

"Cissy!

Before you start wondering, yes I yell back quickly. I was awake anyway when I got your letter so I could send a howler again immediately. The auror is very annoyed with me I think though, she is looking like you did when I broke those champagne glasses at your wedding, even though it was an accident!

HE IS IN THE HOSPITAL?! Who did that? When they find out who erased his memory Cissy, tell me! I want to send them a howler too to thank them! I screamed when I read it, I woke up Rodolphus and Severus, they are mad at me too now.

I'm happy Lucius is still treating you well, it would be a shame to get out of this place and then immediately get thrown in again because I killed him.

YOU HAVE MET MEDA'S DAUGHTER?

Have you talked to Meda?! If she is trying to make it up to you again… DON'T. Well, if you want to, I guess, but DON'T. She left you Cissy, she left us. It's her own fucking fault and I don't need her anymore!" Narcissa was almost convinced by the hatred in her sisters voice, but knew her well enough to know Bella missed their sister as well.

"And what did Weasley say this time? If I have to murder him, tell me and I find a way. Anyone who hurts my Cissy. ANYONE.

I miss you Cissy.. And I'm worried about you. If someone hurt you, tell me and once I get out the fucker is dead I promise. " Narcissa got tears in her eyes as she noticed the change between her sister's angry screaming and the voice she knew Bella only used when she was very upset.

"And another promise, when I finally get out, the first thing I'm going to do is hug you. I don't fucking care whether you're in the Great hall, teaching or in fucking diagon alley, I'm going to hug you until you almost can't breathe anymore. I promise.

I love you Cissy.. Bye.." Narcissa bit her lip but couldn't help but chuckle when Bella started screaming again.

"DON'T FUCKING LAUGH SEVERUS YOU'RE STILL WHINING ABOUT STUPID LILY EV-" The howler was apparently closed by the poor auror before Bella had finished the sentence.

Everyone stared at her again and Lucius placed a hand on her knee, rubbing her leg with his thumb comfortingly.

Narcissa chuckled softly. "Ladies and gentleman, Bellatrix Lestrange…"

OoO

 **I just had to include the second howler too, also some Lucissa fluff because I can not live without.**


	13. Andromeda

"Mummy! Can we go outside?" Four year old Draco Malfoy looked up to his mother with big, silver eyes. He pulled the skirt of her white dress and Narcissa ruffled his hair with a smile on her face.

She nodded and lifted the boy up, who wrapped her arms tightly around the woman. "We'll go outside sweetheart, to the lake?" The soft 'hm hm' was enough for Draco to show he agreed.

Halfway towards the lake, Draco demanded he'd walk the rest of the route by himself and his mother put him down carefully, taking his left hand in her right one. The weather was warm today, and as it was Saturday there were a lot of students outside. Narcissa saw a few students looking at Draco with adoration and she couldn't help but chuckle.

When they were closer to the lake, the little boy shook her hand loose and ran towards the water while giggling. Narcissa walked after him in a quick pace and sat down near the edge of the lake.

She pulled off her shoes and let her bare feet float in the water, Draco sat down on his knees next to her and splashed his hands onto the water, causing it to splash on both mother and son. Narcissa chuckled and looked at the boy with a bright smile.

After half an hour Draco seemingly grew tired of playing with the water and sat himself down on his mother's lap, who lay down in the grass. The boy sat on her stomach with one leg on each side of her and Narcissa held him with both her hands on his tiny waist.

She grinned at the boy and tickled him a little, causing Draco to giggle. More students looked at the two with curiosity in their eyes as Narcissa kept tickling her son. Draco laughed louder and tried to wriggle away from his mother, unsuccessful.

At last Draco managed to roll away from the blonde and Narcissa rolled onto her side to watch her son. He giggled softly and had a wide smile on his face when he looked back at her with tired eyes. Draco crawled back towards his mother, who kissed the top of his head and held him close.

Soon after, Draco had fallen asleep.

OoO

It was one of the last classes defence against the dark arts of the schoolyear and Narcissa was outside with the first years. The classroom had been too small for the duelling lesson she had planned, and the students were now duelling in pairs near the lake.

Dora was in this class too, duelling with Charlie Weasley. Narcissa smiled proudly when she looked her way, the girl had become really good at it in the past year, as had Charlie.

She didn't know exactly what had happened, but when Charlie screamed 'PROFESSOR!' And she looked up, Dora was laying on the ground, unconscious. Narcissa paled and ran towards her niece "Class is over." There were only ten minutes left anyway and Narcissa lifted the girl up in her arms to bring her towards the hospital wing.

Charlie looked at her with tears in his eyes "I didn't mean to professor.. Vanessa and I casted at the same time, her spell hit Dora as well…" Narcissa nodded softly and he ran along with her towards the hospital wing.

When madame Pomfrey was checking on Dora, Narcissa turned to Charlie. "It's not your fault mr. Weasley, when spells combine weird things can happen, you'll learn it later. Neither you nor Vanessa could help it." She tried to sound as calm as she could but knew there was worry in her voice.

"Miss Tonks will have to stay here for a few days, but she should wake up within the hour. Don't worry, Narcissa." Madame Pomfrey spoke in her calming voice when she was done with Dora. Narcissa sighed softly and Poppy continued "Her parents will be told she is here, could you contact mrs. And mr. Tonks while I fetch some potions for her?"

Narcissa nodded "Of course Poppy, thank you." She was a bit pale and sat down next to the bed Dora was laying in. The blonde took her wand and sighed, this was absolutely not how she had imagined contacting her sister again after all those years, she'd thought it would never happen.

She send a patronus to Andromeda with the message that Nymphadora was in the hospital wing, she also requested her presence here for when the girl woke up but knew that her sister would come either way. The silver swan appeared briefly before disappearing again towards the woman.

Narcissa was right, a little over five minutes later Andromeda was standing in the fire place of the wing. Narcissa was holding her niece's hand, her face still pale when she looked up to her sister, not knowing what she should say, if she should say something.

Of course she had to say something, Andromeda had no idea what happened to her daughter. But neither of the two sisters spoke, they only stared at each other in shock. Finally Narcissa stammered "She'll wake up within an hour according to Poppy, she has to stay here for a few days but she'll be just fine."

Andromeda looked at her younger sister with a cold stare. "What happened to her. And why are you still here? You're only her teacher." She walked towards the bed and Narcissa glared at her sister.

"An accident during class, she's been hit by a combination of two spells. She'll have to stay so Poppy can find out which spells and see if there's any danger. And I'm here because I'm her aunt." Without answering Andromeda took the hand of her daughter that Narcissa had been holding in her own, she shook her head.

"You are not her aunt, mrs. Malfoy. You're no sister of mine." It stung more than it should, Narcissa had to admit.

Narcissa spoke coldly. "I truly wish I was not, you're an embarrassment for our family." Andromeda laughed haughtily and turned towards her sister. She raised her eyebrows.

"I am? Not Bellatrix, the psychotic murderer? Not you, the death eater's wife? But me, the only one not too cowardly to run?"

Andromeda stroked a lock of bright blue hair from her daughter's face and Narcissa opened her mouth to answer with hatred, but before she could say a word the young girl laying in between the two sisters woke up. She stared at both of them with confusion.

"Mum? Auntie? Where am I? What happened?..." She spoke softly and sat up carefully, leaning back against the pillows. Dora looked from Andromeda to Narcissa and waited for an answer.

Andromeda answered. "Something happened during class dear." She glared pointedly at Narcissa. "you're in the hospital wing now."

Narcissa sighed. "While you were duelling with Charlie you were hit by his spell, but at the same time miss. Cavanaugh missed her opponent, and also hit you." She paused for a moment before continuing "You will have to stay in the hospital wing for a couple of days, so Poppy can figure out if the spells have left any damage. When spells combine, weird things can happen."

Dora nodded softly and laid back down. "You two should talk… I'm tired." Andromeda chuckled softly and kissed her forehead, whispering a soft 'sleep well dear'.

Narcissa kissed her niece's forehead as well "I'll come back after dinner okay? Sleep well." But Dora was already asleep.

Both women stood up, looking at each other coldly as they walked towards the door of the wing. "To get back at what you said. Yes. You are the shame of the family." She might have regretted it later, but for now Narcissa was looking at her sister with a cold stare. Andromeda looked back, eyes filled with hatred.

"You're pathetic Narcissa. You're a coward, you should've come with me when you had the chance." She hissed and Narcissa stepped closer towards her.

Narcissa was filled with anger now, she had already been mad at her sister to begin with but it had only become worse in the short period of speaking to her. "You are the coward of us two, Andromeda." She spat the name out, like it was something poisonous. "You ran away, you left us. For a mudblood. You're disgusting."

Her voice was low and dangerous, her clear blue eyes filled with pure anger as she watched her sister. "Don't you dare call Ted that foul name."

"I'll do as I please, Mrs. _Tonks_."  
"Grow the fuck up Narcissa, I left years ago."  
"And do you have _any_ idea of the fucking consequences? Or didn't it matter, as long as you were happy and safe away from home with that _mudblood_?"

Andromeda fought the urge to push Narcissa away, her eyes spitting fire as she looked down at her younger sister. "Are you calling me selfish?" Her voice had a warning in it, which Narcissa chose to ignore.

"You are. You're nothing but a selfish bitch who chose a filthy man over her sisters!" Narcissa had tears of anger in her eyes, as had Andromeda.

"How fucking selfish of me, not wanting to spend any longer in that cursed place!"  
"Do you have _any_ idea what you caused?! Did you even _care_ what happened to me and Bellatrix after you ran like a coward?"  
"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the exact same thing, _Narcissa_."

She wouldn't have, Narcissa knew that very well. She had wanted to leave too of course, many times, but Narcissa knew she would never have put Andromeda nor Bellatrix through that hell. "I would have known better. I would've _waited_!"

Andromeda looked at her challenging, her hatred glare piercing through the smaller woman as Narcissa continued, now closer to yelling than speaking. "Do you have any idea how angry they were? Did you even stop to think about the consequences if you ran away with that man?!

Have you ever, _ever_ , thought of who would pay for your mistakes?"

Narcissa finished the last sentence softer, hatred, disappointment and pure sadness all combined. She let her voice crack at the end of it, knowing that she wouldn't have been able to stop it anyway and it would only, hopefully, make Andromeda feel guilty.

Andromeda looked a bit taken aback, a bit paler and Narcissa felt tears, of sadness this time, welling up in the corner of her eyes.

"Of course you didn't."

Her voice broke, Narcissa couldn't help it. She turned around and walked out of the corridor before Andromeda had the chance to say something back. Leaving the brunette alone outside of the hospital wing.

OoO

 **Sorry for taking so long to update! School has started again so I'll probably take longer than usual to get new chapters up, I'm really sorry for that already! Please leave a review if you liked it (or not), they're very motivating to read through!**


	14. Sexualities

**I'm so late I know, I'm so sorry! I've been sick, and school just has been so busy. I have all these ideas for later chapters, but barely none for this one so yeah I didn't really have much motivation. At the end I'll do a timeskip to Draco's second year, to get the story going.**

OoO

"Why don't you and mum like each other? You're sisters right?"

Narcissa looked up with a sad look in her eyes and nodded to her niece "We are. But a lot has happened darling…" The girl looked curiously at her and walked closer to the desk.

"But what happened? Mom doesn't want to talk about it, but I want to know! I'm old enough!"

The blonde shook her head "You have to wait until your mom tells you, it's her decision to make. It's a complicated thing, just be patient okay?" Nymphadora sighed and nodded.

"Fine… I have to go though, school's killing me with homework this week." And just as soon the conversation was forgotten again and the girl walked out chuckling.

Narcissa smiled softly and took a piece of parchment from her desk, together with a quill and a small bottle of ink. She'd write to Bella and then go to the Great Hall for dinner. Narcissa thought for a moment before starting to write.

 _"_ _Dear Bella,_

 _I hope you're still doing fine, just as Rodolphus and even Sirius. I'm fine as well, Andromeda and I spoke the other day and we fought, as was expected of course._

 _I know you don't like me talking to her Bella, and honestly I don't like it much either, but her daughter is amazing and she really wants us to get along. She doesn't know everything that has happened yet and I don't blame her, though I'm certain it won't work anyway._

 _What were your thoughts on Alicia? The girl I've told you about? You did not mention her in your letters, and I assume you don't like the idea of her being muggleborn, but she's my daughter Bella. And if it helps you, she's considered pureblood now, for being a Malfoy._

 _I hope to hear of you soon,_

 _Love, Narcissa."_

She waited until the ink had dried before calling her owl. Narcissa gave the letter to the animal and watched it fly away.

Narcissa gasped in surprise when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, but smiled and laid back her head when she heard Lucius' soft voice. "Good evening, beautiful"

"Lucius!" She turned around and looked up to meet her husband's gaze, Lucius smiled and kissed her forehead, her nose and cheek before finally placing his lips on her own. Narcissa layed her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as she moved her lips fiercely against Lucius'.

Lucius pushed her against the office wall, grinning when the woman gasped softly. He opened his mouth and slowly traced her lips with his tongue, asking silently for entrance. Narcissa parted her lips slightly and ran a hand through his long hair as he slowly slid his tongue inside her mouth.

Narcissa moaned softly when the man sucked softly at a sensitive spot in her neck and laid back her head against the wall, closing her eyes in pleasure. Lucius smirked against her neck and bit softly, careful not to hurt his wife. He reached up his hand to massage her breast when the couple heard a soft, high pitched cough and parted quickly.

Narcissa sighed when she turned to look at the elf who had apparated in her rooms, the thing apologized quickly and said "Minnie is very sorry Mrs. But Minnie was called to ask where Mrs. Malfoy was, dinner has started Mrs." The elf looked to the ground and disapparated after Narcissa had dismissed it.

She sighed and smiled apologetically to Lucius. "We'll finish this later, love. Care to join me for dinner?"

OoO

The next morning Narcissa eagerly awaited yet another owl from her sister during breakfast. It wasn't long before an owl came flying towards her, carrying the familiar red howler. Narcissa opened it quickly, noticing how the Hall immediately grew silent.

 _"_ _CISSY!_

 _DID THAT BITCH HURT YOU?! IF SHE DID I WILL KILL HER AS SOON AS- "_ The auror said something Narcissa didn't quite get, but Bella continued softer.

 _"_ _Yes, yes of course. Okay! I get it! Ugh, apparently I'm not even allowed to yell about killing my sister anymore. Did you know they are that strict?_

 _Anyway, if she hurt you Cissy, if she said ANYTHING hurtful to you, I promise I'll get send back to Azkaban as soon as I get out of this hell._

 _Of course I'm still doing fine! You know me Cissy. I just wish you could come visit! I'm still not allowed visitors AND IT SUCKS BECAUSE THESE IDIOTS IN HERE ARE BORING. Yes I'm also talking about you Rodolphus._

 _Okay, Sirius is also still doing fine, Severus not. The git is muttering towards himself and I can't sleep because of it. When we get out, I'll kill him._

 _Do they still don't know who put father in the hospital? I really want to thank them! That person is a life saver and I love them! You hear me? I love them! Of course I love you more Cissy._

 _And about the mudblood. I really do not get your reasoning Cissy! She's a mudblood! But… ugh I don't it's confusing as fuck. Dementor's really cloud your head you know? It's horrible. But really, if she's now a pureblood it's better I guess. I'll see her when I get out._

 _And Cissy, be careful. I really love you and I don't want you to get hurt.. Father's still messed up in the hospital right? I miss you, really much and I want to hug you and UGH I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND HUG YOU! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH, LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST WANT TO TALK TO MY GOD DAMN SISTER IS THAT TOO MUCH?! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! DON'T CLOSE THE LETTER, DON'T. FUCKING. DO. IT. DO YOU HEAR- "_

The letter burned itself, and Narcissa chuckled. Students and teachers alike gave her questioning looks, no doubt wondering why on earth Bellatrix would be glad her own father was locked away. Narcissa smiled to herself and looked at Dora and Alicia.

Both girls looked confused, and slightly hurt and the woman sighed softly. She'd talk to both of them later today.

OoO

A couple of days later, Narcissa was supposed to give Sexual Education to the Slytherins. The years before had been fairly easy, though the lessons about sexual abuse had always left her crying.

As she opened the door to her classroom, Narcissa found most students already sitting behind their desks and she smiled. If they'd only pay this much attention to Defence against the dark arts.

"Alright class, last week we've discussed, as to put it, the basics of these lessons. In the following weeks we'll be talking about sexualities, protection, pregnancy and sexual abuse.

For the last subject goes that everyone who is uncomfortable talking about it, may leave the room."

Narcissa stood in front of the class and waved her wand to write on the board.

"First of all, sexuality.

Before you ask, in the wizarding world sexuality is not that much of a deal, except in one of the oldest families, the House of Black, it is perfectly acceptable to be anything other than heterosexual. Of course there are a few exceptions, but they're hardly worth mentioning.

There are quite a lot of sexualities, beginning with the two most commonly known, hetero- and homosexual. I assume all of you know, heterosexual means being sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender, and homosexual being attracted to people of the same gender."

"Less commonly known are the next three, bisexual, pansexual and asexual. Bisexuality means being attracted to two or more gender, usually male and female but this does not necessarily have to be the case. Pansexuality is being attracted to all genders, though this doesn't mean one is attracted to all genders equally.

Asexuality means being attracted to no one. At least not sexually. There is a spectrum of Asexuality, including grey asexuals and demisexuals. Grey asexual means that one sometimes does experience attraction, though not often. Demisexuality means that you don't feel sexual attraction for someone before having a very close bond.

For all sexualities, are also romantic orientations. For example you can be asexual, but biromantic."

Narcissa looked around the class for questions, and smiled when two students raised their hands. She nodded to someone to speak. "You are from the house of Black, aren't you? At least, that's what dad told me."

She sighed and nodded "I am, that however does not mean I agree with all of their views. " The second question was, again, personal. It came every year.

"Well Mrs. What is your sexuality then?" The class looked at her curiously and Narcissa chuckled before answering.

"I fail to see why it is any of your interest, Mr. Filister, but I am demi- bisexual as well as demi- biromantic. Any other questions?"

As no one raised their hand again, class ended soon after.

OoO

 **A/N: A time skip of five years, Nymphadora's and Charlie's sixth year**

Narcissa was in her office, grading some seventh year papers, when she heard a soft knock on her door. "Yes?" The door was opened and a shy looking Charlie Weasley walked inside.

"Professor? I know you and my parents don't get along, but I wanted to ask you if you could help me talk to them.." He stuttered a bit and looked down. Narcissa gestured for him to sit down in the chair in front of her desk and he continued. "I want to come out to them, but I have no idea how…"

The past year Charlie had come to her often, and she had helped him figuring out he was asexual, as well as aromantic. She smiled supportively and nodded. "Of course I will, Charlie. " He looked up, a big smile on his face and narcissa chuckled. "When do you want to talk to them?"

"tonight. "

It was probably not a good idea. Possibly the worst she had had so far. But she knew Charlie trusted her and she was not going to let them down now. If Narcissa could put aside her fierce hatred towards Molly and Arthur Weasley, surely they could as well?

It still amused her that so far, all of the Weasley children had been very fond of her, Bill, Charlie, Percy and the twins. And Narcissa knew it frustrated the older Weasleys very much.

Charlie had requested the whole family to come to Hogwarts, and was currently pacing nervously through the defence classroom. Narcissa shook her head softly and called him towards her. "Don't worry Charlie, it'll be fine, honestly."

When he didn't seem convinced, Narcissa stood up and opened her arms to hug him. He smiled weakly and hugged the woman tight. They had certainly grown a lot closer the past year.

Not soon after, the fireplace roared and Molly and Arthur Weasley stepped out, soon followed by the children. Molly already looked angry "What is it now, Malfoy? If he has been hurt again I swear-"

Narcissa cut her off. "For once Weasley, listen to your son instead of focusing on me. I know I'm interesting, but Charlie is more important at the moment."

The twins chuckled and Narcissa smiled at Charlie, who looked very nauseous. "Charlie come here, it'll be fine I promise." The 16 year old walked towards her and hugged her without hesitation, Narcissa hugged back of course and forced herself not to laugh at the perplexed reactions of the rest of the family.

Charlie stepped away and Narcissa gave him a supportive smile. He turned to his family and took a deep breath. "Well… I just wanted to tell you I'm asexual, and aromantic." He blushed deeply and looked to the ground, but Arthur stepped towards him and hugged his son.

"That's what you were so nervous about son? There was no need to!" He chuckled and kissed Charlie's hair, who pushed him away blushing.

"Don't do that dad… But, really?" He smiled and looked at the rest of his family, Molly was looking just like Arthur, and Ginny and Ron were a bit too young to fully understand. But the other four brothers all looked at him very supportively and Narcissa smiled, sighing softly in relief.

Molly spoke too "Of course we'd accept you Carlie! You're our son and we love you!" She hugged him as well but continued a bit colder. "Though I do have to ask, why is _she_ here?" The woman looked at Narcissa, who rolled her eyes.

Charlie sighed "I know you don't like her mom, but she has really helped me the past year.."

"Helped him? In what way?" Narcissa opened her mouth to answer but Charlie was quicker.

"She helped me find out what exactly my sexuality was, and how it all worked, stuff like that."

Narcissa smiled at the knowledge how much effort it took for Molly Weasley to speak her next words. Though she was careful to make it seem as a merely polite smile.

"Well.. Thank you. Malfoy."

OoO

 **Also I got so many reviews last chapter! Thank you all so much for that, I loved reading through all of them, and they finally gave me enough motivation to continue this chapter today.**


	15. Pregnancy

**A timejump, this chapter is set in Draco's second year.**

OoO

She had taught him pride, she had taught him that he was better than most, though not with the believes she herself had been taught. She had taught him he was beautiful, and she had taught him the etiquette, the rules and the expectations. She had taught him to act, to deal with the comments still made about her, her husband and now him. But mostly she had taught him that he was loved, by Nymphadora, Minerva, Bellatrix, and most of all Lucius and herself.

Narcissa could not be more proud when she looked at her, now twelve year old, son Draco Malfoy. He had the same blonde hair as his parents, the same cold silverly blue eyes as his mother, and wore the same cold look as his father.

He knew how to act in public, and though she had been careful not to teach him that muggleborns were scum, as he obviously had a muggleborn sister, she had done he best to let him know that muggles were. Scum of the earth.

Narcissa hadn't told him about the diary, there was no need to she assumed. Merely weeks ago Lucius had planned to put it in their vault at Gringotts, save and not to be touched every again as it contained the darkest of magic. But of course the Weasleys had to ruin it.

Lucius had lost the diary that once has belonged to the Dark Lord when Arthur Weasley pushed him over, with that letting a shelf filled with books drop down on them and in the fight the diary had slipped away.

It probably had been thrown away by the owner of the store, and the Malfoys were not people to look through trash cans like tramps. Both the older Malfoys were certain it wouldn't cause much trouble, they had no connection to the diary anymore, and no one knew it had ever been in their possession.

Draco was now entering his second year at Hogwarts, and though she had feared it would cause him trouble that his mother was teaching there, it had been fine. Lucius had taken as much time as needed to teach his son the infamous Malfoy glare, which had been more than enough to scare away anyone who dared comment.

Last year had been a mess anyway, the Philosopher's stone had been kept at Hogwarts for the majority of the year, and Narcissa still couldn't explain how Dumbledore had not noticed that the temporary potions teacher he had hired, Carol had gone missing (and unexplainably been found once the year was over), had kept no one but the Dark Lord himself under his turban.

It still gave her shivers when she thought about it. Though not many would believe her, she feared the return of the Dark Lord more than anyone else. Of course she could play her work at Hogwarts off as simply spying, to ensure her own safety and she knew the Dark Lord would not punish her or Lucius too severe for it. But she had a daughter, a muggleborn daughter, who would be killed by him for sure.

It would take years, and maybe it wouldn't ever happen, she reminded herself over and over again, but still Narcissa wasn't entirely convinced. Neither was Lucius, and Bellatrix still fiercely hoped for her Lord's return.

Draco was in the same year as Harry Potter, as well as the youngest Weasley son. Narcissa had the feeling there was something off about the Boy who lived, though no one else had seemed to take notice. There was something about him she could not quite place her finger on, but it worried her none the less and she was determined to figure it out.

The schoolyear would be starting today and Draco was getting ready to leave for the Hogwarts Express, this year Dumbledore had hired another Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. She had requested it herself, though she would have liked it more if she had actually been there to pick one out, as she would not be able to teach all spells and creatures during the following year.

OoO

Narcissa smiled and placed her hands protectively around her stomach, though it was still flat now she knew it would change. Merely weeks ago she had discovered herself to be pregnant, again. The blonde closed her eyes, thinking back at that one moment.

 _Narcissa paced through her room, waiting impatiently at the for now silver potion to change colour. Her face was paler than usual and Lucius was in the other room, knowing she had to do this on her own. One minute and she would know._

 _She looked again, to find the potion having coloured a dark shade of red and tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know whether they were of happiness or fear, but they streamed down her cheeks as she sat down on the king sized bed and called for her husband._

 _Lucius walked in quickly, a worried look on his face and sat down next to her. Narcissa looked up at him, whispering just a few words. "I'm pregnant, Lucius."_

 _Lucius smiled brightly and hugged her, she automatically moved into his lap for comfort and he cradled her against his chest. "That's amazing news, Cissa!" His voice was excited, with just a hint of worry sounding through it. "But why are you crying?.."_

 _She sighed and opened her mouth to speak, tears dripping on her tongue before she managed to make her voice hearable. She knew she spoke for both of them when addressing her deepest fear about her new found pregnancy. The same fear that had haunted her through the times she was pregnant with Draco, and the six children before._

 _"_ _What if I lose it?"_

Narcissa still feared it of course, and she knew from experience that the fear would not stop until she held her child in her arms. _Or buried it._ And when they had told Draco and Alicia, both were exceedingly happy and excited.

She was now sitting on a sofa in the living room, having poured herself a cup of tea as she waited for Draco to get ready. All summer he had talked about nothing but Harry Potter, quidditch, Harry Potter, the brat Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. Narcissa had grown a bit tired of the endless conversations about the 'stupid brat with his stupid green eyes' and had to admit to be glad she was now returning to Hogwarts.

It didn't take Draco too long to finish packing his trunk and dressing, though of course he had had the help of his personal elves. He smiled and nodded at her, indicating he was ready to leave. Lucius too walked into the room and helped her up, as always extremely careful with her during pregnancy. "Ready to go, love?"

Narcissa nodded and looked at Draco, who walked over immediately to take his mother's arm. With the three of them they apparated to the platform.

The three of them ignored the stares and soft whispered comments of people. Narcissa smiled proudly when she saw how Draco looked at the ones who made the comments with a look that suggested they weren't even worth the dirt on his shoes. If there had been any dirt, that is.

The comments had of course always been there, but they had seemingly grown worse after the events of last year. Whispers about how she had helped her old master to try and regain his power, how the death of that 'poor Professor Quirrel' had been her fault. And how somehow in the process, the eleven year old Draco had had a part in it as well.

As she recalled, the youngest Weasley would too be going to Hogwarts this year, a girl this time. Percy Weasley had brought it up to her during one of their debates on the ministry and their ways. If the things Fred and George, as well as Ronald had been true, the girl Ginny Weasley would be one to fear.

To her surprise, Harry Potter walked onto the platform accompanied by the entire Weasley family, save Charlie and Bill. Of course it was nothing serious, but it unsettled Narcissa a bit, why wasn't he with his own family? Though muggles couldn't be good, surely his own family would want to say goodbye to him?

Narcissa shook her head to dismiss the thought, resulting in a worried look from her husband. She chuckled and smiled "I'm fine love, don't worry."

When the train arrived Lucius kissed Draco's forehead and hugged him, Narcissa did the same. Though she would see him every day, of course. She still spent most of the nights at Malfoy Manor, preferring it much more to her rooms at Hogwarts, and of course the fact that Lucius was there as well helped a great deal.

When the train finally left the platform, Narcissa and Lucius apparated back home and she sat down on the sofa she had been sitting in before. Lucius sat down next to her, cradling her in his lap and Narcissa curled up. Her head rested against his chest as she closed her eyes and let him stroke her hair.

Lucius kissed the top of her head and pulled her against his own body, wrapping his arms around her petite waist and placing his hands on her stomach. "We're having a baby love…" His voice was warm and Narcissa smiled and nodded.

"We really are.. Are we?" The fear of miscarrying yet again was obvious in her voice but Lucius nodded, stroking her cheek softly with his thumb.

"Yes love, just as with Draco. Nothing will go wrong this time, I promise. We're having a baby."

OoO

It had been a mistake. A huge mistake.

The other teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts was a disaster. Gilderoy Lockhart was nothing but an arrogant, useless narcissistic prat who couldn't even control a cage of Cornish pixies. Narcissa had watched the first lessons he taught, which were only to make him get used to teaching, and it had been horrific.

Why on earth had Dumbledore thought this would be a good idea? The idiot obviously had close to no experience on anything but smiling and whitening his teeth. At the 'end' of the lesson, which had been the point where he ran away from the pixies, he had gone into her rooms. _Her_ rooms. Because it had been the closest point of safety.

Narcissa had rolled her eyes and quickly send all the pixies back into their cage, repairing all the books, papers and clothes that had been ripped apart by them. After the class had been dismissed she had chased Lockhart out of her office with a few stinging jinxes, after having found him looking through her drawers. The nerve.

In the lessons after, Narcissa came to find that Ginny Weasley was a fierce a girl, excellent in curses and very eager to learn. The words of praise Fred and George had spoken of her were all true and more. It was obvious the girl loved quidditch as much as her brothers, and Narcissa was certain she would become a very talented flyer one day.

It was during the second week of the schoolyear that Narcissa finally got a reply from her sister. She had written to her an hour after having discovered to be pregnant, but ever since Bellatrix had not written back yet. As she had grown used to now, the hall became silent when the red envelope appeared. All students looked at her eagerly as she opened it, letting Bella's voice scream through the hall.

"CISSY!

Finally! I accidentally hexed some aurors a couple of weeks ago. You know, with wandless magic when I was mad. Those fuckers deserved it but they didn't seem to care about that. After that I wasn't allowed to yell back at you, but FINALLY they saw sense. Or the punishment was over, either way is fine.

YOU'RE PREGNANT?! BUT- BUT- UGH WHY?! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST NOT BE AN IDIOT AND USE PROTECTION FOR ONCE? YOU KNOW WHAT THE HEALERS SAID AND…

Shut up Sirius. But Cissy… Ugh if I wasn't in this goddamn cell! You'll probably be so excited, I know you are. But.. You know.. I.. I'm really fucking worried about you! I fucking saw you after you lost them.. and when Draco was finally born you almost died! You almost died Cissy!

I just.. ugh. I don't want you to go through that again.. I love you Cissy!

Over to more fun stuff! Sev has completely lost his mind, keeps muttering to himself and being stupid and boring. Rodolphus is okay I guess, still the same old grumpy cat. He just became grumpier and less catier. Catier. I found a new word!

Sirius keeps laughing at me and it drives me mad but it's okay because I also laugh at him! And sometimes he's actually nice and we laugh at Sev together. You'd almost stop believing he's a bloodtraitor you know. YES I SAID THAT SIRIUS BLACK, FUCKING FIGHT ME!

Now ehm, I love you Cissy! Say hello to Draco, and Lucy, don't tell him I called him Lucy though. Or do, it'll annoy him. Your choice. Say hi to Aly too, though she doesn't know me. Has she heard the horror stories yet?

And as this letter will be delivered to you probably around dinner or breakfast. To Longbottom: Say hi to your parents for me." Bellatrix laughed and you could hear Sirius gasping from the background.

"Too far? Nah, it's funny Siri. BYE CISSY!"

Narcissa gasped softly and slapped her hand over her mouth. Even for her sister, that was cruel. She looked to Neville Longbottom, his face had lost all colour and tears were forming in his eyes. Before someone could say anything, the boy had ran out of the Hall.

No one would understand, she knew. No one but her and Longbottom. No one knew that his parents had been tortured to insanity, so badly they didn't even recognize their own son anymore, and no one knew that it had been Bellatrix who did it.

People shot Narcissa questioning looks but she ignored them, instead returning her attention back to the meal in front of her. She would try to talk to Neville later, if he wanted to of course.

OoO

The conversation with Neville was only a week after Bella's howler, and to Narcissa's surprise he had come to her.

She had tried to think of a good way to approach the subject, but as she didn't quite know him it had been difficult. In a way Narcissa was grateful for not having to think of it any longer, but that soon disappeared when she saw the fear on his face.

There was no doubt as to why he had come to her office, and Narcissa tried her best to make her voice sound comfortable for the nervous boy. "Please, sit down Mr. Longbottom."

He nodded softly and sat down quickly, looking down at his hands which were folded into his lap. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he said nothing and they sat in silence for a few minutes before Narcissa broke the silence. "It's okay, Mr. Longbottom. There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise."

Neville looked up to her and nodded a slightly, easy to tell it was forced. It took another minute before he spoke, his voice soft and stammering. "I.. Harry told me to talk to you.. Said it would help but, I can leave.. If I'm bothering you…"

Narcissa shook her head "You're not bothering me at all Neville, what is it that you want to talk about?" She smiled sweetly and reached to offer the pale boy a chocolate truffle, he took it shyly.

"The.. The howler… From Bellatrix. Usually they're not.. that bad but this time… " His voice stopped but Narcissa understood. She nodded.

"This time she was extremely cruel." Narcissa finished the sentence and Neville nodded, she saw tears forming in his eyes again. "I'm very sorry Neville, if I had known she'd say something like that…" She stopped, she had no idea what she would've done then.

Narcissa had mentioned it to Bella when she send a letter back, saying the school would most likely refuse her howlers if she continued to hurt students like that. She just hoped it would stop her sister, but Narcissa was almost certain it would, she knew how much it meant to Bellatrix to hear from her.

"How can you love someone that cruel?"

Neville blurted it out, though still talking softly and Narcissa was slightly taken aback. She forced herself not to snap at the obviously already very upset twelve year old and instead closed her eyes, breathing in deeply before answering. "I have no idea, I just do."

Of course there was so much more to her complicated relationship with her sister. So much more she couldn't explain well enough to put under words, and so much she wouldn't dare say to a boy so scared of Bellatrix.

She couldn't talk about her sister about the way she herself saw Bella, not to a child who had lost both his parents to that same woman. She knew from experience how much it could hurt Neville, clearly remembering the times her friends had envied her for having 'such a caring father' because he wrote to her so often, even visited regularly. She'd never do it to a child, no matter how much she loved Bella.

Neville shook his head "I just don't understand… Grandma never wants to talk about it, and I respect that but.. I want to know so many things… "

He stopped speaking and looked up to Narcissa, a blush on his face and she smiled. "You can ask whatever you want, Neville. Though I'm not certain I'm able to answer everything."

It was apparently enough for him, though he didn't look at her again when he asked the first question. "I've always wondered.. Why did she do it? What did she get out of it except getting locked up? Sorry.."

The boy was too much of a Gryffindor. Even in the state he was in, how vulnerable he was, he was apologizing for even mentioning her sister's stay in Azkaban… Incredible.

Narcissa nodded softly "Of course you wonder about that.. Who wouldn't? Well, there were two reasons I believe. For one, she was under the impression she would find out where the Dark Lord was, and she'd do anything for him to return. She thought your parents knew what had happened to him..

Secondly, she had started to love hurting people. In a sick way she enjoyed casting curses and watch people scream." She left out the part of why Bella loved it so much, of course.

Neville was struggling not to cry, but Narcissa didn't comment. Not yet. "Just one other question, honestly.. I've never understood how a curse could.. make them lose their minds.."

Narcissa looked down at her desk, growing uncomfortable with the subject of the cruciatus curse. "She used her favourite curse, I believe. The cruciatus. As you know, it causes a great deal of pain, and I won't go into details, but it also affects the mind. I have no idea how, but the cruciatus curse causes your brain to, stop working in a way. The effects of that are very different, depending on the victim.

It kills off braincells, basically. It damages parts of the brain. Depending on how long someone is put under the curse, one could lose, like your parents did, their entire memory and also the capability of remembering anything new. That's what makes the curse such a horrific one, not the pain."

She could feel herself growing paler as well, but Neville had started to cry softly. He didn't look at her, and Narcissa stood up without saying a word, she walked around her desk to the chair he was sitting in. She wanted to do something to make him feel better, and knew how much a simple hug could do. But also how much it could hurt if he was scared.

"Neville, is it okay for me to hug you? If it's not, just shake your head." Narcissa had half expected him to do so, but instead the boy stood up slowly and nodded, tears still dripping down his cheeks and he hugged her.

Narcissa hugged him back, smiling softly to herself when she felt his sobs grew more silent and fewer. A bit later he looked at her thankfully. "Thank you.. Mrs. Malfoy."

Of course he wasn't okay yet, and Narcissa doubted he would be within a year or even two, maybe three. But she knew he would be, one day. And if this conversation had helped even a little bit, well, she was glad.

OoO

 **So, it didn't take as long to update this time and I've actually written quite a lot so I'm proud! I'm a lot happier with this chapter than I was with the last few, so I hope you like it as well and if you did, maybe leave a review behind? They're amazing to read through!**


	16. The song

"I've heard from Minerva that you've been bullying Neville Longbottom with your friends. Is this true, Draco?"

Narcissa's voice was colder than usual, her son Draco was sitting in front of her on the sofa, he shrugged and nodded. "That's true, mother.."

He hadn't quite expect her to get angry at him for it, she saw now. Narcissa sighed. "Two weeks of detention and ten points from Slytherin. Bullying is not tolerated at school."

Draco looked shocked at the punishments and looked up at his mother in disbelief. "But why? I'm your son! And it's your house, why would you deduct points from your own house?" After short pause he added "And besides, I thought you agreed that Longbottom is most likely a squib."

Narcissa silenced the room before answering, her voice growing less cold. "I do Draco, the fact that Mr. Longbottom got into Hogwarts is a miracle and we all know it. But please, think. I can't do nothing when I'm told you're bullying him, it would cause too much trouble and we both know he isn't worth it.

When a Slytherin student breaks the rules, I'll have to deduct points and give detention. Professor Dumbledore wants the students to be treated fair, and you and I both know how important it is we stay on his good side."

Draco knew that. He knew that Albus Dumbledore was the only reason both his parents hadn't been locked up in Azkaban for the rest of their lives. He knew that if they crossed the line, Dumbledore had the power to lock them up even now. He sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry mother.. Of course."

He looked up again "I won't bully the fool anymore. Or I won't get caught, at least." Narcissa had to repress a chuckle and smiled.

"Very well Draco, I'll see you next Thursday in my office, eight o'clock. And also, very good spellwork you used on Longbottom, madame Pomfrey had a hard time on it."

OoO

That night Narcissa woke up crying once again. Not a nightmare this time, and she was glad for it, but a memory. A memory of her sister.

 _"_ _Cissy, I'm going insane!"_

 _An eighteen year old Bellatrix Black was sitting on her bed in Black Manor. Her face was paler than it used to be, which was saying something, and her dark mascara ran in black stripes down her face. She was sobbing and clutching her knees, looking up to the only fourteen year old Narcissa Black, her younger sister._

 _Narcissa didn't quite understand what her sister meant with 'insane', Bella had always been a bit wilder, more rebellious than her and Meda, but insane she wouldn't call it. She whispered softly. "What do you mean, Bella?"_

 _Bella's eyes were filled with pain and because she was so upset, her glamours faded slowly. A white body covered in dark red scars, under a perfectly fitting black velvet dress mother had forced her into. Narcissa knew what it was, accidental magic, she herself had used it too when she was younger, and still sometimes when she became too upset about everything. She had never seen it happening to Bella, and it was quite a shock to see her seemingly untouchable, perfect and strong older sister in such a vulnerable state._

 _"_ _I want to hurt people. I want to kill them, torture them, I want them to hurt. I want them to beg for death, to cry and scream until their voices die. I want to make people hurt and break like we did, to make them feel for a bit what we went through. And it's so bad Cissy.." Bella sobbed and inhaled a sharp breath "It's so wrong…"_

 _Narcissa was perplexed, Bella had always been a bit violently she assumed, but even she, who was closer to Bellatrix than anyone was and would ever be, hadn't expected the woman to desire this. And not desire it at the same time. Not knowing what to do otherwise, Narcissa stepped forward and sat down beside her sister, doing what Bella had always done to her and Meda when they were scared. She hugged her._

 _Bella cried in her shoulder, leaving a wet spot on Narcissa's dark green dress. It was the first time Bella had cried in front of her, or anyone for that matter, but Narcissa would later learn that it wasn't the last._

 _The scene of the dream changed._

 _"_ _I was right. I'm insane now Cissy."_

 _It was a whisper in the middle of the night, Narcissa was now eighteen and had just moved in with her new husband, Lucius Malfoy. Lucius was on a business trip to France and wouldn't return until a couple of days later and Bella was now staying at Malfoy Manor for the week._

 _Over the years Narcissa had grown to be taller, though just a little, than her sister and Bella lay cuddled up against her warm body, like a child with its mother. Narcissa looked down upon her sister, still remembering the time Bella had confessed to becoming insane for the first time._

 _Seeing the silent question in her sister's eyes, Bellatrix continued. "I don't think it's wrong anymore. At least, most of the time.. I enjoy to watch people suffer, to watch them scream and die and know that it's because of me. I used to regret it, always regretted it but now, now I don't._

 _At least, most of the time I don't. Sometimes, I wake up and it's like I'm someone else, and it feels so bad Cissy. Only then I feel the regret, I imagine what it would be like if someone did all of it to you again, and I know it's horrible. But it always fades.. And then I don't feel sorry, I just enjoy it, even thinking of the people I've hurt brings me joy and it's sick isn't it Cissy? It's wrong to think like that.. but it's also not, and tomorrow I won't think it is and it scares me Cissy. What's wrong with me?"_

 _Such honesty was rare for Bella, even to Narcissa. Her voice was fearful, matching her eyes and her lip was trembling. Narcissa knew her sister would cry, and so she wrapped the woman tight in her arms and stroke her hair. She had no idea what to say to her, she didn't know how she could help her sister now that Bella needed her more than ever._

 _"_ _The only thing wrong with you is mother and father Bella, they've ruined all of us. Maybe you are insane, but you can't help it and no one can blame you for it. Maybe it's sick to hurt people, but if it makes you feel better, at least a little bit, than do it. Just do it, the Dark Lord approves, Rodolphus approves and nothing is stopping you Bella."_

 _Maybe Narcissa too was slightly crazy to think this way, maybe both of them were turning insane, maybe just Bella. But Bellatrix didn't answer anymore, she only buried her face in Narcissa's chest as she cried, and Narcissa held her until she calmed down. Then she kissed her sister's forehead with a soft smile, whispered a goodnight and closed her eyes. She smiled when Bellatrix did the same, and finally fell asleep._

Narcissa cried silently, knowing now how it would continue. It hadn't been more than a few months after the conversation that even those small moments of regret weren't there anymore. Bella cried more often as she grew more and more fascinated by the Dark Lord and the dark arts, and Narcissa was always there to comfort her.

She knew that she was the only person Bella trusted, and would ever trust, to be that close to her. To show her soft side, her vulnerable spot. And it was almost painful to see the big difference between Bellatrix Lestrange, the insane murderer who had cost so many innocent families their lives, and her Bella, the weak and broken girl who couldn't fight the insanity within her, who needed her sister and was so fiercely protective over her.

There were two sides to her sister, of one even Narcissa was slightly afraid at times, and the other one that only Narcissa knew of.

Narcissa turned to fold herself into Lucius' side, who had no awoken yet. She hoped for another letter soon, and that was her last thought before falling asleep again.

OoO

The letter came that morning, at breakfast. As soon as the brown owl flew into the hall, Narcissa saw Neville Longbottom quickly making excuses to his friends and leave the hall. She didn't show she has seen it, but was relieved.

Soon after, Bellatrix once again screamed through the hall.

 _"_ _Cissy!_

 _Are you okay?! I had such an awful dream last night, day, whatever the fuck it is. Honestly, I don't know anymore, this fucking place is horrific. Anyway, father was back, and then he killed Meda but that was okay because she's a bitch. But then he was mad or something because of a pidgeon, don't ask me why but he was, and he went after you but I don't know what happened then because I woke up._

 _It's just a dream but, you're okay right? That fucker is still sick in the hospital, he's still in the hospital. Sirius had told me already that you're okay, but I'm not sure if I should believe him because he was mostly grumpy because I woke him up. Accidentally, I just screamed and he woke up, not my fault._

 _Back to you, have you had a check up yet? Did it go well? How's working with Lockhart going? Sirius got a paper from Fudge and it talked a lot about him. He sounds like an arrogant git, if he hears this, he should know._

 _I don't really know what else to talk about. There was this song you used to sing you know, before I got send to this place. I don't know what it's called anymore and I only remember the same few lines. It's so annoying! They keep playing through my head but I don't know the other lyrics anymore. It went like this._

 _The apple falls far from the tree, she's rotten and so beautiful. I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful. She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible. Tormented dreams, she stays awake, recalls when she was capable._

 _Do you remember it? If you do, PLEASE, write down the lyrics. Or better yet, send a talking letter and sing it! If it's not a howler I can keep it here you know? It'll drive Rodolphus crazy too probably, and Snivellus, maybe even Siri._

 _Okay, I think I promised this before, but the first thing I do is hug you when I get out. No matter if you're in the fucking Ministry of Magic, I'll hug you. I miss you so much Cissy, I love you and you're beautiful, ehm, I hope the baby is okay, and Draco, Aly, Lucy, that was everyone probably. Oh yeah you're friends with Mcgonagall, tell her hi too, for this once. Bye Cissy!"_

Narcissa chuckled at Minerva's expression, she smiled "Well, Bella says hi." Minerva chuckled softly, though it was weird to talk like this about a witch as cruel as Bellatrix.

Narcissa clearly remembered the song Bella was talking about, it was called Vivica, and she had sang it often to Bella, and Bella to her, when they were younger. She was surprised her sister remembered it.

OoO

In her free period, Narcissa sat down behind the piano in her rooms at Hogwarts. A letter lay opened beside her, ready to record the song she was about to play. Narcissa placed her fingers on the piano and whispered the spell, after which she started the song.

"Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I watch you burn, in humid hell.  
No sleeping pills, no old tattoos will save you now.  
He'll never change, he's just too vague, he'll never say you're beautiful.  
Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I really do. I really do.

The apple falls far from the tree, she's rotten and so beautiful.  
I'd like to keep her here with me, and tell her that she's beautiful.  
She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible.  
Tormented dreams, she stays awake, recalls when she was capable…

Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I watch you sit, I watch you dwell.  
No crooked spine, no torn up rag, will save you now.  
He'll never change, he's not that brave, he'll never say you're beautiful.  
Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I really do. I really do.

The apple falls far from the tree, she's rotten and so beautiful.  
I'd like to keep her here with me, and tell her that she's beautiful.  
She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible.  
Tormented dreams, she stays awake, recalls when she was capable…

Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I'll sit right here, I'll never tell.  
No tender scar, no twist of fate, will save you now.  
He'll never change, he's just not there, he'll never say you're beautiful.  
Oh Vivica, I wish you well, I really do. I really do.

The apple falls far from the tree, she's rotten and so beautiful.  
I'd like to keep her here with me, and tell her that she's beautiful.  
She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible.  
Tormented dreams, she stays awake, recalls when she was capable…

She's empty and so beautiful, I'll keep her here with me."

Narcissa closed the letter to end the recording, not saying anything after the song had ended. She would write another letter to Bella, but this one was just for the song, for Bella to keep.

OoO

Something was wrong with Ginny Weasley.

Though the girl had only been at school for a month, Narcissa noticed she was growing paler and more silent, and it worried her. This was not the energetic girl that had participated in the first lessons Defence against the Dark arts, nor the girl her brothers had described.

If Narcissa only knew what was wrong, she might be able to help her. She had called Ginny to her office once, but she had seemed almost normal then, it was strange. Narcissa knew that Minerva had noticed the change as well, but neither knew what might be going on with her, and it shouldn't worry them too much, probably just a teenage drama.

But the feeling something was wrong didn't leave Narcissa, from experience she knew that though it may seem like nothing, it could be far more severe than anyone could imagine.

That were two gryffindors she would have to look out for, as Narcissa still wanted to learn what was wrong with their precious Boy who lived.

OoO

 **Another chapter, if you liked it, please leave a review?**


	17. The hug

**It took way too long to update this. I've had a huge writers' block and couldn't think of anything to write about now, and with no ideas, no motivation and no time, it takes a damn long time to write a chapter. I did try to make it around the 3K words, so I hope you like it. Thanks for all the reactions, I really appreciate all of them!**

OoO

"The chamber of secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware."

Written in blood.

Narcissa didn't have much knowledge of it, only the things she had heard from Lucius and the Dark Lord. But what she did know was enough to paralyze her, the Dark Lord had said the little black diary had something to do with it.

The diary Lucius had lost when Weasley lunged towards him, that they thought no one would look at anyway, being so old and used. The diary that had had something to with the Chamber of Secrets. Which most likely meant it was at school.

The last time a student had been killed, found dead in the toilets with no certain cause of death. Like she had just stopped breathing like that. She could see confusion, fear and tears on students' faces. The first years looked terrified at the sight of Filche's cat, older students seemed confused at the message.

Narcissa was certain most students had heard at least rumours, but they had never been given a reason to believe those rumours.

Students were upset, most first years looked terrified and some were crying. But Narcissa was most worried about one, not even from her own house. Ginny Weasley was paler than Narcissa had ever seen the young girl, her eyes were filled with tears and looked terrified at the words, she was shaking and looked like she was about to faint. But no one paid any attention to her.

It was mostly quiet for a while, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were standing in the middle of the crowd, looking in fear at the teachers like they were afraid to get punished.

Minutes later Minerva had taken the trio to her office and the Heads of houses were to take their students back to the common rooms. When all the Slytherins were inside, Narcissa looked over them carefully.

Most were extremely confused, a first year was crying softly and a small group looked at her terrified. One student raised his hand shakingly "Professor? What.. What is the chamber of secrets?"

Narcissa hesitated for a moment before answering, she couldn't reveal that she knew more than most teachers as it would most certainly get her and Lucius into trouble. But knowing nothing would also make her seem suspicious, wouldn't it?

"The chamber of secrets was thought to be a myth. When the founders of Hogwarts were building the school, Salazar Slytherin supposedly had built a chamber of which only he knew the location. Inside the chamber, he would've placed something only he could control. But people have searched for many years, and no chamber was ever found."

The student wasn't satisfied. He raised his hand again and said "But what was inside the chamber then? According to the myth? And why is everyone so worried if the chamber isn't real? It was probably just a prank of the Weasley twins, and who wouldn't want to stun Filches cat?"

Narcissa shook her head. "The chamber has never been found, no one knows what creature is inside. But supposedly it's a monster, a monster only Salazar Slytherin and his heir are able to control." She paused shortly and took a deep breath. "And no, this is not a prank. There is a very big difference between being stunned and being petrified. Had the cat been only stunned, any of the teachers and most students too would've been able to wake her up within ten seconds.

Petrifying however, can only be helped with help of mandragora's, and only caused by very, very dark magic. Even if the Weasley twins were capable of producing such magic, which I don't believe they are, they would never go to such lengths, no one would. Not for only a prank."

OoO

The first quidditch game of the year would be today, and Narcissa could see that Draco was incredibly nervous. As she had taught him though, he didn't let anything show to his peers and pretended not to be bothered with nerves at all.

She had been incredibly proud when he had become a seeker for the Slytherin quidditch team, and she and Lucius had bought new brooms for the team. Of course Draco had had the newest broom already, but she would not have him be disadvantaged because the other members didn't.

It was empty in the Great Hall, many students had already left to the pitch to ensure a good spot and it was only the teams and the later students who were now having breakfast. Lucius had come to school for the game and was now sitting next to her at the teacher's table, a hand placed on her knee.

Both of them were very tired, and had casted glamours that morning to hide the dark circles under their eyes from the lack of sleep. It had been one of the rare nights Lucius would have a nightmare and after Narcissa had managed to calm him back down, they had had around half an hour of sleep before she had screamed both of them awake. After that it was no use trying to go back to sleep.

Lucius smiled softly at her and nodded at Draco, who was now bragging to his friends about the amazing brooms Lucius had bought for the team. Narcissa had to hold back a chuckle.

Narcissa looked up when an owl flew into the hall, carrying the familiar red letter. She couldn't help but chuckle at Ron Weasley's face when he thought that for a moment it was, again, directed to him. But instead it flew to Draco.

Draco looked up curiously and took the letter, and though Narcissa couldn't see it, she was certain it was from Bellatrix. She was right.

"SHUT UP SIRIUS!

Alright, Rod you're ready? Snivellus stand up and come closer, he can't hear you otherwise! JUST DO AS I SAY FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!

Okay, ready? Good. " She was interrupted by Rodolphus who asked why the hell they were doing this.

"SHUT UP FOR ONE FUCKING MOMENT BEFORE I HEX OFF YOUR DICK AND MAKE YOU EAT IT!

I did not mean that literally auror, I don't even have a fucking wand here, how do you expect me to hex him? Just shut the fuck up Rodolphus and do this.

Okay, Finally? One two three!

CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING THE TEAM! WE'RE PROUD, WELL I'M PROUD, AND IF SOMEONE HURTS YOU I'M GOING TO KILL THEIR FAMILY ONCE I'M OUT OF HERE.

Again, I did not mean that literally, it's way too much effort to murder an entire family, probably just a brother or something you know? Wait no! Don't close it I have to say something to Cissy! Ugh I hate-"

The letter ended and Draco could only stare at the ashes, not sure whether to laugh or die of embarrassment. Bellatrix had been the only one actually yelling, and Draco chuckled. "She really isn't the type to just say 'I love you, good luck.' Isn't she?"

The Slytherins laughed, as did Narcissa though she hid it well in the form of a cough. No, Bella wasn't the type to just say that, at all.

OoO

Who could possibly hex a bludger?

Who in their right mind would hex a bludger?

Narcissa had only met house elves that could be as stupid as that, or maybe Lockhart if you could count him.

The game had been won by Gryffindor, after the hexed bludger had caused Draco to fall and Potter's arm to break. Of course the idiot kept playing even with a broken arm.

And of course Lockhart had to make it even worse. Who could mess up a healing charm that badly? Narcissa knew from experience that skele-gro was horrible and quite painful, as she had had to grow quite a few bones back in her lifetime. She felt truly sorry for the boy.

Draco was alright, thank god, with only a few small scars she had easily healed. Losing the match hadn't been his fauly, obviously, and the Slytherins knew it. No one could have foreseen that bludger would be hexed, after all.

OoO

Nymphadora ran inside the manor as soon as the elf had opened the door. Her hair was a dark blue, which Narcissa had learned indicated she was sad. She was crying and hugged Narcissa tightly as soon as said woman stood up.

"Dora! Shhh.. What's wrong dear?" Narcissa spoke softly, stroking her niece's short hair. Nymphadora mumbled something she couldn't understand and sobbed into Narcissa's chest.

Dora looked up. "Mum.. She- At work, a curse… She's in the hospital!" She sobbed and Narcissa paled at the news. She wanted to say something but Dora continued. "She's not waking up.. The healers aren't sure if she'll ma-" Though she couldn't finish the sentence as she dissolved into tears again, Narcissa understood all too well what she meant.

Her sister could die.

Without her noticing it, a tear fell down Narcissa's cheek. "She will. She'll make it Dora, I promise you." Nymphadora looked up, and it broke Narcissa's heart to see her in this state. "Come sweetheart, we'll go to the hospital alright?"

The girl nodded and Narcissa wrapped an arm tightly around her. Lucius would be at his work for at least a few hours, and as it was Saturday Draco was at school. Nevertheless she told an elf to tell Lucius where she was before she apparated to the entrance hall of St. Mungo's.

The girl behind the helpdesk was way too cheerful for working in a hospital. With a smile on her face she said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Malfoy! What can I help you with?"

Narcissa's voice shook a little when she said "Me and my niece are here to visit Andromeda Tonks." The girl's face fell way too quickly, and it was pity in her eyes when she informed them of the room Andromeda was in. That wasn't good.

Nymphadora held her arm tightly, she was crying still and Narcissa tried her hardest to do so as well. She smiled comfortingly at her "Don't worry, she'll be just fine, you'll see."

But the sight of her sister didn't make it better. Andromeda was covered in obviously cursed wounds, dark magic. She was breathing but Narcissa saw it was only due to very complicated charms she was still alive.

Narcissa let Nymphadora alone, knowing she would need to be alone with her mother for a while. Instead she walked to the healer outside Andromeda's room. "Why aren't her wounds healed?"

Her voice was angry and cold, masking her pain and the healer was obviously startled. "Well.. It's dark magic Mrs, we don't know much about that type of curses."

It angered her. "Idiot. She is dying due to those curses can't you see that?! Let me. I know those curses and I know how to heal them." Due to experience, she thought bitterly. She remembered clearly the times Andromeda, Bellatrix and herself had been put under the same curses by their parents.

The healer looked a bit shocked at her outburst and nodded quickly. "If you're certain, Mrs. Malfoy. It's your sister after all, I assume.." He took a deep breath "First remove her glamours, then you can try to heal her."

Narcissa nodded and walked back into the room. Nymphadora was crying, tracing Andromeda's face slowly with her thumb. "Dora, calm down sweetheart. I know a way to heal her." Narcissa spoke as calm as possible.

She didn't like her sister much, still. Too much had happened to just forget it, but Narcissa knew she could never bear losing Andromeda. She was still her older sister, the older sister she had looked up to as she had to Bella, who had let her sleep in her bed after a nightmare and who would crawl into Narcissa's bed as well, if she had been the one with a nightmare.

She couldn't lose her sister. Not again. Not for real.

"Andromeda has told you about.. our youth,hasn't she?" Nymphadora nodded but stayed silent. "In order to cast the spells, I will have to remove her glamours. I'm not going to make you leave, but if you haven't seen her like that before.. It's not a nice sight."

"She's showed me before, it's okay. I'm not leaving mum now.." Nymphadora's voice was shaking, but she stood up slowly to make room for Narcissa.

Narcissa kneeled down besides the bed, she steadied her breath and took out her wand. She only gasped softly when she removed Andromeda's glamours. Andromeda was less scarred than Bella and Narcissa were, she knew that, but combined with the still open wounds, the sight was nauseating.

Nymphadora let out a soft cry, but didn't turn her head from her mother. Narcissa pointed her wand at her sister, concentrating on the quite complicated spell. She had cast it many times before, on herself and Bellatrix, but it felt differently now, though she couldn't explain to herself why.

It was a nonverbal spell, and Narcissa moved her wand very slowly over the deep wounds covering Andromeda's chest and stomach. She didn't even want to know what had happened to cause them.

It brought back so many, too many memories. Narcissa recalled Bellatrix laying in front of her like this, half dead but with no healers to save her, just Narcissa. She remembered Andromeda screaming terrified when she was cursed like this, and Bellatrix healing Andromeda with tears from anger in her eyes. She remembered herself having wounds just like this, of which the scars were still on her body. She remembered Andromeda cursing softly while healing her, and she remembered Bellatrix whispering death threats towards father while doing the same.

She remembered the nights she had spent screaming of pain when Bellatrix and Andromeda were gone, and she couldn't focus enough because of the pain. She remembered healing herself time and time again, and she remembered the wounds that had never completely healed the way she wanted them to. She remembered the time father had been drunk, and when Andromeda had laid just as now, dying.

She remembered the fear she felt then, as she watched mother pushing father and Bellatrix aside to heal Andromeda because 'Think of the scandal it would be if she died. Think of our image.' But it was nothing compared to this.

She would not let her sister die, not even the sister she once hated with all she had, not even the sister she still hated in some parts of her. She would not let Dora lose her mother, she would not lose her sister. Not if she could help it.

So why weren't the wounds healing? Why weren't the goddamn wounds healing? Narcissa tried desperately to calm herself, and repeated the spell over and over again while tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Narcissa let out a sigh of relief when the wounds were finally healed, but didn't stand up. She stayed like that, kneeled down besides the bed, silently praying for Andromeda to wake up.

But she did not, yet.

Nymphadora and Narcissa stayed in the hospital, the healers had told them it could happen any time, but so far nothing had happened. In the early evening, when Lucius too had come to the hospital and had comforted Narcissa with surprise on his face, a healer walked towards them.

"Mrs. Malfoy, Miss Tonks, Mrs. Tonks is awake."

Nymphadora looked up quickly. "How is she?" Her eyes were wide with fear and she stood up, as did Narcissa. The healer nodded quickly and smiled comfortingly.

"She will be just fine, don't worry. "

OoO

But it took another week before they could speak to Andromeda again. When she had woken up, all she could do was nod weakly and smile a bit. But now here she was. In Malfoy Manor. In front of Narcissa.

"Dora told me what you did."  
"It was nothing."  
"You saved my life Narcissa."

Andromeda walked closer to her and sat down on the sofa. Narcissa tried to hide the relief she felt to see her healthy again, though she knew very well what lay behind those glamours.

"Dora doesn't deserve to lose her mother."  
"She showed me her memory."

Oh.

Narcissa looked down, not sure why she was embarrassed now. "You're still my sister.. I'd never let you die."

"But you hate me, don't you?"

She just wanted to hear Narcissa say no. Narcissa knew her well enough to know that. "I did. But not enough, apparently."

There was a silence, both sisters avoided each other's gaze and looked into their own lap. After a few painful moments Andromeda broke the silence, trying to change the subject now.

"You're pregnant."  
"I am. Again."  
"How far along? And how is it going?"

Andromeda sounded like she cared, though she still didn't look at Narcissa. Narcissa looked down at her stomach, if you looked close enough you could see a very small baby bump. It made her smile with pride. "Four months now, and so far it's going fine."

It was the birth she feared. She knew something was wrong with her body, and she knew perfectly well it had to do with father. She had lost her other children, the first girl, the twins, the little girl and the twin boys. All of them, when giving birth. All but Draco.

So she had hope now, perhaps after Draco, it would get better. Perhaps.

Andromeda smiled softly. "That's great to hear.."

Again the silence. Again Andromeda broke it. "Thank you. I know how hard it must have been to cast that spell again."

Of course she knew. And she was right. The nightmares were more common again, more real. Memories she had blocked from her mind for so long had returned and it terrified her. She only had to close her eyes to see either one of her sisters laying before her, covered in the same wounds every time. Dead.

Narcissa only nodded. "Very." And Andromeda stood up, presumably to say goodbye.

Narcissa was surprised when Andromeda hugged her.

Even more when she hugged back.

OoO

 **Sooo, that was it. If you liked it, please leave a comment? They're incredibly motivating to read through. Also, if you have any ideas, feel free to send them!**


	18. The Duelling Club

"That will be it then, class is dismissed."

The first year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students all got up, with them Ginny Weasley. The girl had said nothing for the entire lesson, hadn't done anything but Narcissa hadn't commented on it. She could see it was not laziness, and it worried her.

Ginny seemed weak, her hands shook a little as she packed her bag. Before she was done the bag dropped to the ground, causing all her books and ink to fall out. Narcissa walked over to her and kneeled down to help. "Are you alright ms. Weasley?" She asked worriedly, and Ginny looked down at her, nodding.

"Yes professor." But her voice was empty, no emotion and her eyes stared blankly at Narcissa. When Narcissa's eyes fell on a black, old-looking diary, her heart stopped for just a moment before Ginny took it away quickly to put it in her bag.

"Thank you professor." And she was gone. Narcissa held herself to the table, glad that Gilderoy wasn't here today, and breathed heavily. It couldn't be, it couldn't be possible.

The diary.

The Dark Lord's diary. The diary that had caused the Chamber of Secrets to be opened. And it belonged to Ginny Weasley.

Narcissa started to hyperventilate and shook her head in an attempt to fight of the dizziness, but walked as quickly as she could to the fireplace in her office. She had to call Lucius.

She called him through the floo, still breathing far too quickly and the black spots before her eyes didn't disappear. Lucius looked at her worriedly and sat down before the fire, Narcissa started speaking. "Lucius, the diary, she has it, she-" And everything went black.

Narcissa woke up in the hospital wing, Minerva and Lucius both standing over her with a worried look on their faces. She sat up in the bed and looked at both of them. "How are you love?" Lucius' voice shook, his face was pale and he took her hand as he sat down besides the bed.

"You scared us to death Narcissa…" It wasn't an accusation, Minerva's voice was shaking as well as she sat down on the other side of the bed.

Narcissa had to think about what happened before she answered. "I.. I'm fine. But how.. how's the baby?" She knew she sounded terrified, and she was, but Lucius smiled softly.

"She's fine darling."

Narcissa's eyes widened. "She?..." and Lucius nodded.

"They did a check up to see how everything was, and they could see it now. We're having a girl Cissa."

His voice was filled with pride and Minerva too looked very happy. Narcissa smiled brightly and hugged both of them, then stared down at her stomach. "A baby girl.." She placed her hands on her belly and closed her eyes. "Our baby girl."

OoO

"Cissy!

He's growing stronger Cissy! He's growing stronger! The mark, it's becoming more visible! The Dark Lord is growing stronger!

Do you know how? The mark is not like the way it used to be, but it's growing darker again! It's starting to hurt again too, but it means the Dark Lord will come back! Can you believe it? It's amazing!

It gives hope you know, once the Dark Lord is returned, he'll definitely free me! I'll finally be gone from this hell place and be free! And the promise still stands, the first thing I'll do is hug you.

So, how's the baby doing? Sirius and I have thought of names, if it's a boy, Sirius, if it's a girl, Bella.

Can you send a picture next time? They don't allow them to talk in here, but I want to see your stomach! You look like an adorable swan who just swallowed a watermelon when you're pregnant. That's a compliment by the way.

And don't worry, I'll kill Lockhart once I'm out of here, arrogant little snob. Reminds me of Lucius, but if he can't even handle a few pixies… Idiot. Yes you were supposed to hear that Lockhart, you're useless.

Sooooooo, I don't know what to say anymore, gives kisses to Alicia and Draco, you can slap Lockhart from me, maybe hex him if it won't get you into trouble, and a hug for Mcminnie from Sirius, he misses you and says you're fabulous, got to agree.

Bye Cissy, I love you!"

No one spoke.

Though the last part of the letter had been carefree and could be considered funny, the first part proved Narcissa's assumptions regarding the chamber of secrets. It wasn't only caused by the Dark Lord's diary, it was helping the Dark Lord to return.

But how was Ginny Weasley a part of it all?

It was confusing and terrifying. Narcissa knew that the Dark Lord had been capable of controlling others, but only with an imperius curse. She had never heard of it being possible without the curse, not even she, who had learned the Dark Arts from no other than Bellatrix herself.

But if the Dark Lord would truly return. Just if. What would she do?

What would she do when Lucius and herself would return as his servants? While she was working at Hogwarts, even had a muggleborn daughter? Alicia… She would be murdered without a second thought and Narcissa shivered at the thought.

She couldn't think of this right now, not without making herself freak out. She would discuss it tonight with Lucius.

Narcissa would talk to Ginny Weasley this afternoon, and then to Lucius in the evening. Nothing to worry. Yet.

OoO

"Miss Weasley, are you quite alright?"

Ginny Weasley sat in front of Narcissa's desk, she nodded softly. Narcissa didn't buy it for a second, the girl was shaking and still as pale as the weeks before, she had dark circles around her eyes and it looked like she had been picking her own hair.

"You're not. And I think it has something to do with your diary. If you don't mind, I'd like to see it for a moment. "

"No!"

Ginny shrieked and moved her chair backwards too quickly, she fell to the ground but didn't seem to mind, instead she clutched her bag against her body. "No. It's mine!" She was shaking now and tried to stand up, and failed.

"Calm down miss. Weasley, it's alright." But Ginny only crawled away from her further. Narcissa stood up.

Her voice was louder now, though she felt bad for raising her voice, as she herself still feared it when people did that, she said. "Sit down. Miss Weasley, and be calm."

That seemed to work, but the fear in the girl's eyes made Narcissa feel a bit guilty immediately. She sighed. "I'm not going to read your diary, miss Weasley. Just let me give you a calming potion, I'm worried about you."

When Ginny had left, Narcissa closed her eyes for a moment. The reaction she had given reminded Narcissa of the war. She had seen people like that during death eater meetings, during raids, there were always people like that.

But what was it then? What was wrong with Ginny Weasley? If Narcissa knew anything about her, it's that she would never willingly support the Dark Lord, then why did she?

She would have to ask Lucius, she was too tired for this right now. But before Narcissa could stand up to go home, a patronus appeared, a lioness. Alicia's voice sounded through the room.

"Mom, I've written you a letter but India is a bit too far away to deliver it, just say Accio Alicia's letter and it will come, bye!"

Narcissa chuckled and took her wand. "Accio Alicia's letter." It took a while, but then a silver envelope flew through the open window.

"Dear mom,

India is amazing! They practice such an interesting kind of magic here, completely wandless, with the elements and such. A bit like avatar!

The rules here are quite different than at home, but not as strict as I had expected. Men and women are living apart most of the time, unless they are in a relationship, or siblings. I've been joining a group of women around my age to practice magic, they are so kind here!

What I've wanted to tell you, I've met a girl who's my age, 24. Her name is Devika Goswami and she's so nice! And well, we've talked a lot since I'm here and I like her. As in, like like her. But I have no idea what to do! I don't know how things like that are in India, everything is so strict… Can you floo me around eleven your time? I really need your help now.

How are you? How's the baby doing? How are dad and Draco? And aunt Andromeda? How's Dora? Auntie Minerva? Have you gotten more letters from Aunt Bella? Tell me everything!

Love, Alicia Malfoy."

Narcissa smiled and nodded. Alicia had wanted to travel the world after she had finished her Healer's training, to experience and learn about the different kinds of magic. The letter was shorter than usual, but Narcissa assumed she would hear a lot more tonight. For now she only placed the letter on her desk and flooed home.

Possession.

That was what's wrong with Ginny Weasley. Possession.

Narcissa was sitting curled up on the couch, snuggled into Lucius's chest. Both of them were paler than usually were, and she could feel his heart pounding rapidly. If that was true...

She knew enough about possessions to know what was needed for one, and it frightened Narcissa and Lucius equally. An emotional bond. It's impossible to possess someone if you're not close to them, and that meant that the Dark Lord.. Narcissa shivered.

But she also knew what it could cost. When possessed, life was slowly sucked out of someone, she had seen that often enough during the war. And though her knowledge of the Dark Lord's powers was limited, Narcissa was almost certain that if it would work, Ginny Weasley would die and the Dark Lord would return.

He would return. Because of the diary Lucius had dropped in Flourish and Botts. The Dark Lord would come back to life, and if that happened... Lucius seemed to share her thoughts as he held her closer and kissed her hair. "It won't come to that love, we'll figure something out."

But his voice was uncertain and Narcissa knew it was only to calm her. Lucius too had no idea what would happen, or what they could do about it. "But... What if we don't?"

Lucius stayed silent, they'd just have to trust it won't come that far.

OoO

Of course that idiot had wanted to have a duelling club. Because of course it would be such a great help to students if they could disarm a monster, but here she was. In the Great Hall with Gilderoy Lockhart, helping him with a duelling club.

The only condition was, of course, that no dangerous spells were used. Though Narcissa was more than certain she would be able to block any of his spells, she would not risk her unborn daughter for that idiot. Her stomach was now shown clearly through her robes, and she could see students looking and whispering to each other. A couple of Slytherins had asked her, and also Draco about it. As had Hermione Granger, and the Weasley twins. All looked very interested and all but miss Granger seemed worried as well, but of course miss. Granger had no idea of her earlier pregnancies.

Students were walking into the Hall now, all a bit nervous and excited. When the last one had entered, Narcissa closed the doors with her wand and walked onto the stage. Lockhart started talking, and though she didn't listen very well, his last sentence made her chuckle softly. "Don't worry, you will still have your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher when we're done." And Narcissa said softly, loud enough that only the students standing close to her could hear.

"I don't know about her assistant though."

"Alright, I will perform the first spell, and Mrs. Malfoy will cast another spell directly after, if she isn't hit." Very likely she would cast another spell then. Lockhart took out his wand and they did the traditional bow before a duel. He cast his spell, a simple Expelliarmus. Though it was harder with her stomach, Narcissa made sure to remember exactly how Druella had taught her to duel, strong and powerful, but at the same time with elegant movements.

With ease she blocked his spell and cast her own. "Stupefy." Lockhart flew backwards and into the wall of the Great Hall. People applauded and when Lockhart stood up, he saw red.

"A eh, very good demonstration, Mrs. Malfoy." Lockhart said as he walked back to the stage.

They taught the students the spell Expelliarmus and let them duel each other for a short while, while Narcissa was standing against a wall to ensure she wouldn't get hit by accident. Near the end of the session, Ron Weasley's wand had caused it to rain in the hall, to give his partner, Harry Potter, a few slashes across his arms, and had broken at least five windows. Lockhart walked towards them at least and split them up.

Now Draco and Harry were standing in front of each other, and not soon after Harry was on the ground due to Draco's expelliarmus. Narcissa smiled proudly but her smile faltered when Harry stood up and yelled "Rictumsempra!" Causing Draco to fall to the ground in fits of laughter. A tickling charm.

"Only disarming boys! Five points from Gryffindor." She had barely finished talking when Draco yelled, in between laughing, another spell. Talantalegra this time. Harry's legs starting doing a quick step he was unable to stop. Narcissa sighed and walked through the duelling pairs quickly. Of course Lockhart would be useless, again.

"Finite Incantatem. " Draco catched his breath when he finally stopped laughing, as did Harry. "I said, disarming only, both of you. Five points from Slytherin as well." Both boys looked at her in shock, and then angry at each other and Narcissa rolled her eyes.

Other pairs had stopped duelling now as well and Lockhart walked up to the stage again. "Let's have a pair up here, and show what they can do. What about mr Potter and mr Malfoy?" Of course.

Draco and Harry sighed and walked on to the stage, Narcissa walked with them and stood next to Draco. Lockhart stood next to Harry and showed him a complicated wand movement, Narcissa chuckled when he dropped his wand. She bowed her head and whispered to Draco. "Dad has taught you some spells during the summer, hasn't he?" Draco nodded and smiled proudly. "Use them, but nothing too damaging."

Lockhart stepped away from Harry and started to count. "1, 2, 3, begin."

"Serpensortia!" Draco yelled and the end of his wand exploded. A snake appeared in front of him and the students watching stepped back in shock. The snake raised itself up and turned to a Hufflepuff boy standing in the crowd. Lockhart stepped forward and attempted to remove the snake, but failed, as was expected of course.

But before Narcissa could do something, Harry started hissing. The sound caused a shiver to run down her spine and she froze. Parseltongue. Narcissa turned to Harry, her eyes filled with panick but he didn't seem to think anything was different.

Parseltongue. Snake language. She knew about it of course, from the books in the Black library and the Dark Lord. She knew that it was an ability passed down from parent to child, sometimes it skipped a generation but not often. And she also knew that Salazar Slytherin had been one of the only parselmouths. Narcissa knew the Dark Lord had been one, and that he had gotten it from his parents, his ancestor was Salazar Slytherin.

But how did Harry Potter have this ability? Narcissa knew that none of the Potters had been parselmouths, she was certain of that. Then how... But she didn't have much time to think as the snake was moving closer to the Hufflepuff boy, who yelled something at Harry before running away quickly.

Narcissa took her wand and the snake vanished in black smoke. "You are dismissed. Five points to Slytherin for excellent wandwork."

OoO

 **So, again it took very long and I'm sorry. Next chapter will take a while as well, as I'm going to New York tonight around 4am. I'm really excited but I won't be able to write there so sorry for that. If you liked the chapter, please leave a review behind?**


	19. The curse

**So, in this chapter a song will be mentioned. It's Narcissistic Cannibal, originally by KORN, but think of (or listen to) the cover Earlyrise has of this song. (It's much better, in my opinion, but it fits Narcissa better.)**

OoO

An Indian girl, long black hair that fell in waves around her face, dark brown eyes and a black skin. Narcissa could see why her daughter had fallen for the woman.

Alicia was standing next to her, she had introduced Narcissa to her just now. Devika Goswami.

Only a month ago had Narcissa helped Alicia with her crush, and now here she was, as her girlfriend. Narcissa smiled and held out her hand, which Devika took as her face showed the relief. The poor girl must have been dying with nerves for meeting her.

Lucius would come later, and Narcissa offered both women tea. They sat down and Narcissa asked both of them how they had met. Mean while she took the time to look carefully at Devika, her movements and reactions on certain things, she had to be sure this woman would not hurt Alicia like her last girlfriend, Ruby, had. Alicia started talking.

"Well, I had been in the village for a few days, and there was this group of woman I practiced with. Devika was there too, and she helped me a lot. But of course I couldn't do much yet, I had no idea how those things work in India. That's when I asked you for help." Alicia chuckled nervously and Narcissa nodded, prodding her to go on.

"We were alone about a month ago, two days after our conversation. That's when I told her. It didn't matter anyway, I'd be leaving in a couple of days so yeah..." Alicia blushed and looked down.

Narcissa smiled. "Don't be embarrassed Aly, there's no need to be." She looked up when a door was opened and smiled when Lucius walked inside. "There you are dear, meet Devika."

Lucius smiled and walked towards the woman, who stood up nervously to shake his hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy."

"The pleasure's all mine, Devika."

OoO

"I'll look for something in the Black library, every spell and creature, dark or light, is mentioned in those books."

Narcissa had said it hours ago to Lucius, promising him to look up how it had been possible for Ginny Weasley to be possessed by the Dark Lord. The Black library was, as she knew well, one of the greatest in England. It had books on every possible subject, and when a new book was written it was immediately bought by the elves still serving the manor. Narcissa had not been able to bring them with her to Malfoy Manor, as they still belonged to Cygnus Black.

The library also had a special, very rare sort of book. It was almost empty, but every time someone created a new spell, bred a new creature or made a new potion, its information appeared in that book. Complete with the recipe of the potion and its effects; the behaviour and parents of the creature; and the pronunciation and movement of the spell.

Sometimes, by coincidence, the same spell was created by more than one person, but never more than two. So had a very old wizard in the Black family once come up with Sectum Sempra, and it had always been used for just the family. Narcissa shivered. But when she was twenty years old, a young boy named Severus Snape had apparently come up with the exact same spell, though according to the book its effects were less severe, though only a bit.

So now here she was, in front of her old home. Narcissa knew it would be empty save from a few elves, but was anxious none the less when she entered through the large doors. Black Manor had an intimidating air around it, made her want to turn around, leave, and never return.

But she couldn't. For the sake of her and her husband, she couldn't. Narcissa knew very well that this might be their only chance to find out what was going on. She also knew that if she should fail, Lucius would be send to Azkaban for life. Albus Dumbledore would never save him then, after he found out what horrors his actions had caused the school.

But when Narcissa stood in front of the entrance to the library, she hesitated. In her head, Cygnus' voice sounded clear. Memories flashed through her mind and Narcissa shut her eyes.

\- "Remember, Narcissa. The library is forbidden for foolish girls like yourselve, and if I ever find you in there, you will beg for your punishment to only be a cruciatus."

Cygnus Black spoke very calm, which made him sound even more threatening. His eight year old daughter nodded quickly, and she was send away.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?" A now 12 year old Narcissa heard her father yell. The sound made her flinch and she turned her head not to look at Andromeda and Bellatrix, 14 and 16, who were standing in the door to the library.

They were covered in a fluid, and Narcissa was thankful their voices were muted for that way, she wasn't able to hear their screams of pain. The potion seemed to burn their skin like no fire could, and she understood what her father had meant in his warning, four years ago. She knew what he would do before he did it, and shut her eyes when the cruciatus curse fell on both her sisters. -

Narcissa shook her head quickly to get rid of the memories.

Even all those years later, she was scared to enter. She wasn't sure whether the potion was still there when she would open the door and called an elf. "Open the door and walking inside the library." Narcissa said, and the elf widened his eyes.

"The- the library, Mistress Narcissa?" His voice was shaking with fear, confirming her suspicions. There was still potion.

Perhaps it was a disgusting thing to do of her, but Narcissa nodded. "Walk inside. Now." And so the elf did. When the door was opened, a large amount of purple potion fell down. Back then it had been enough to give two girls severe third degree burns, but for an elf it was enough to kill within minutes.

Narcissa almost felt guilty for turning her head as the small creature fell to the ground, letting out horrible shrieks of pain until he died. Almost. She called another elf to clean up the potion, and with it the ashes of the first. When it was done and the smell was almost completely gone, she entered herself.

Forbidden. Narcissa walked through the dozens of shelves filled with books, all in a perfect state. She searched for a specific book, -The dark side of forbidden magic-. Forbidden. It took her thirty minutes to find, and then she sat down on a black sofa.

Narcissa opened the heavy book in her lap and read through the list of curses and potions. Forbidden. She felt a soft kick from inside her stomach and smiled softly, placing one of her hands on it. Forbidden. Then she saw it.

Not a curse she was looking for, it had nothing to do with possession. But it caused Narcissa to freeze. A shiver ran down her back and she looked around, as if to see if she was being watched though she knew that was impossible.

 _Interficcio Futurume Fetus_

 _A dark curse that most would never think of using. Victims of this spell might not even realize they've been cursed, as the effects only show at the very end of a pregnancy._

 _It was invented by Arcturus Black, who used it as a test on a squib, Roxanne Talkalot. This curse is used only by dark wizards, but rumour has it that not even He who must not be named has used it on any of his victims. There is no prove of this to be true._

 _Interficcio futurume fetus causes unborn children to die in labour. Mother and child experience a horrible pain, comparable to the Cruciatus curse, and the child dies within minutes. The mother will not be in danger._

 _There is only one remedy to this curse, a birth potion. This potion is not being sold on the public market, and as it only helps for this specific curse not many are available even on the black market. The recipe is hard to get by, and the birth potion takes over two years to brew._

 _Since there is no one known to be cursed with this spell now, healers have stopped to find another cure long a-_

A wave of nausea washed over Narcissa and she threw up next to the sofa. A house elf appeared to clean the sick up but Narcissa didn't register it. She wiped off her mouth with a bit of wandless magic and buried her head in her hands, sobbing loudly.

All that time. All that times she had thought it was because of how many curses there had been. Some sort of sick side effect he hadn't expected. She hadn't want to believe he would do this. Not this.

But he had. He had taken away from her the one thing he knew meant everything to her. The one thing besides her sister, who he couldn't take away any more than he already had. Her children.

Narcissa looked down at her stomach and sobbed again. An elf appeared in front of her, asking if she needed anything and Narcissa ordered it to take her home. First she ripped out the pages of the book and the elf took her hand and apparated back to Malfoy Manor.

Lucius was probably in his study and he would hear it if the front door was opened, but Narcissa didn't go to him. Instead she almost ran through the house, blinded by her tears, and let herself fall down on her bed. Clutching the pages to her chest, she sobbed.

Minutes later, Lucius entered the bedroom and kneeled down in front of Narcissa. He didn't say anything but Narcissa moved to hand him the pages. She cried as he read it, and watched his face fell when he too realized it.

Lucius lay down next to her, he was crying now too and held Narcissa close in an attempt to comfort her. They both knew now.

She didn't have a potion. She was cursed and had no remedy. She would lose her, after having hoped for so long that maybe her daughter would live like Draco had, Narcissa would be forced to carry her baby to term.

And then she would lose her daughter.

OoO

Narcissa didn't sleep that night. Nor did she the night after. Every time she closed her eyes she could see the births she had had before. The children of whom she had thought could live. It hurt even more to think of it now that she knew, they had never had a chance.

It hurt her more to know that it had been on purpose. He had cursed her on purpose. He had willingly caused her to lose all her children but one.

But one.

Draco had lived. Narcissa recalled when she was pregnant with him, Bella had given her a potion then. She had said it could help, though a bit vague. Narcissa now realized it had been a birth potion. Bellatrix had spent over a year to brew her that potion, and she never even knew.

Narcissa had always known how much Bellatrix cared for her, but also knew her sister was not one to spend a lot of time on the same thing. It moved her deeply to know she had made that potion, when she didn't even know for sure whether it would work.

But now she didn't have that potion. Now Narcissa cried every time she felt her unborn daughter move in her stomach. Because now she knew that this child too, would die. And it killed her.

That's why she didn't speak now. Narcissa sat in her study in Malfoy Manor, Andromeda was standing in front of her. She was very worried, that was more than obvious. "Narcissa, please..." Andromeda begged again, but Narcissa didn't show any sign that she had even heard her voice.

How could she begin to explain it? To Andromeda, to whom she had grown closer again over the last month, though very slowly. Andromeda, who had been as excited as Bella used to be about her pregnancy. Narcissa couldn't do it, not now.

A violet body suit was laying on her desk and Narcissa looked at it with empty eyes, there were no tears left. It was the same one, though Andromeda couldn't know that, Bella had bought for Draco but then in green. A small body suit with the words 'If you mess with me, you mess with aunt. And you don't want to mess with her.' .

Narcissa would've find it funny, and it was true. Bellatrix had been very protective during the short time she had spent with Draco and she was almost certain Andromeda would have been the same. Would have.

"Cissa..." Cissa. Andromeda's, and later Lucius' nickname for her. Bella had always used Cissy, so she always knew exactly who it was who was talking to her. Narcissa shook her head.

Andromeda sighed. "Suit yourself. Do I have to take it again?" Narcissa nodded. Andromeda was growing annoyed now, usually it would've bothered her but now Narcissa couldn't care less. Or perhaps she did, but not enough to do something about it.

Minutes later Andromeda was gone.

Narcissa took out some parchment and a swan quill, she would write to Bellatrix first. It had been two days since she had received Bella's last howler.

 _"Dear Bella,_

 _I am terribly sorry for not writing you, but I believe I have a valid reason. To answer your questions first, yes Draco is alright. Yes I have met Alicia's girlfriend, she is very kind and I believe she's good for your niece, don't worry. Andromeda has not hurt me, and you know you would be the first to hear if that changes._

 _I am less okay. I was in the library the other day, the Black library. I know what you're thinking. I was reading through a book with curses and found something, shocking. A curse named Interficcio futurume fetus. Yes, that curse. I know you've heard of it. Ever since, I know that this child won't have a chance. There is no birth potion available and it's too late to make one. I'm so sorry._

 _Having said that, I want to thank you. I now know that the potion you gave me when I was pregnant with Draco, was a birth potion. The book said it takes over a year to brew, and I know how much effort you must have taken to make it. I can't thank you enough, you gave me a son._

 _I'm sorry this letter is so short, but I hope you understand I'm not in a state to write much right now._

 _Love, Cissy."_

A few tears had fallen onto the parchment and Narcissa wiped them from her eyes. She called her own owl and send the letter away quickly.

Narcissa stood up and softly hummed a song, she didn't sing yet. It had been days since she had last used her voice. She walked towards the fireplace and flooed to her office.

Narcissa wasn't certain the silencing charms were still working, but if they didn't it didn't matter. She sat down behind the black piano in her rooms and placed her fingers carefully on the keys. Singing and playing an instrument had always been calming. Narcissa had learned to play a lot as a child, the piano, the violin, the harp and so much more. She was teaching Draco as well. She started singing.

 _"Don't wanna be sly and defile you.  
Desecrate my mind and rely on you  
I just wanna break this crown  
But it's hard when I'm so run down._

 _And you're so cynical, Narcissistic Cannibal!  
Got to bring myself back from the dead!_

 _Sometimes, I hate, the life, I made  
Everything's wrong every time  
Pushing on I can't escape  
Everything that comes my way  
Is haunting me taking its sweet time."_

Memories flashed through Narcissa's head, as they had done almost non-stop the past days. Memories of him, cursing. Memories of all the times she had seen Bella or Meda being hurt. Memories of them sobbing, begging for him to stop, memories of herself doing the same. Narcissa shivered. __

 _"Holding on I'm lost in a haze  
Fighting life to the end of my days_

 _Don't wanna be rude but I have to  
Nothing's good about the hell you put me through  
I just need to look around  
See that life that has come unbound_

 _And you're so cynical, Narcissistic Cannibal  
Got to bring myself back from the dead_

 _Sometimes, I hate, the life I made  
Everything's wrong every time  
Pushing on I can't escape  
Everything that comes my way  
Is haunting me taking its sweet time_

 _Sometimes, I hate, the life I made  
Everything's wrong every time  
Pushing on I can't escape  
Everything that comes my way  
Is haunting me taking its sweet time_

 _Holding on I'm lost in a haze  
Fighting life to the end of my days_

 _Holding on I'm lost in a haze  
Fighting life to the end of my days"_

Her tears returned and she inhaled sharply before letting out a sob. Narcissa stood up when the song had finished and walked a bit shakily to her bedroom at Hogwarts. Without undressing herself she fell down on the bed, finally falling asleep.

OoO

 **So this went better than expected, and much quicker considering I was in New York for the majority of the week (Which was AMAZING by the way.). Thank all of you for the comments, I really love them. And if you liked this chapter, please leave a review behind to tell me?**


	20. Azkaban

**This took way too long, sorry. I had finished the chapter almost, two times, and both times my laptop shut down because I procrastinate updating and charging it. So I'm really sorry, but please forgive me!**

OoO

"I.. I'm sorry…"

The hall was silent as always when Bella's letters arrived. But this time her sister's voice only worried Narcissa, it was softer and hoarse, almost broken.

"I'm so fucking sorry Cissy… I should've told you. I should've done something, anything! I didn't know for sure whether he had cursed you or not.. I thought he did, and after I gave you that birth potion I knew it.. And I should've told you!  
He cursed me too yes, on the night before my wedding. I think he did it to you too then, four years later, but I'm not sure about Andromeda. I didn't want to think that he cursed you as well, and I thought that if he did, you would've told me. But you didn't know of course.. he stayed in your room for so long!  
Longer than usual, and after you were unconscious, but I was stupid and thought you'd remember it… Of course not.  
I didn't think of telling you. After you had Draco, I didn't think you would try to get pregnant again, so I didn't want you to hurt more because of it. And of course you had to go and get yourself pregnant now, though I'm sure it wasn't on purpose, little sis.  
And now you don't have a potion. Now you know, and you can't help it and it's my fucking fault. IT'S MY FUCKING FAULT!

I SHOULD'VE PROTECTED YOU! BACK THEN, FROM THAT FUCKING MONSTER, AND I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR YOU NOW, ESPECIALLY NOW! I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF LOCKED UP IN THIS GODDAMN PLACE, AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN HELP YOU!"

Bellatrix dissolved in sobs, and Narcissa closed her eyes. She didn't want to look at anyone right now, in fear of them seeing her cry.

"I can't help you… My only job ever was to protect you, to keep you safe, and I failed… I let him touch you, curse you, hurt you. And I should've done something…"

A vague noise that resembled something getting hit against a wall sounded through the letter. Narcissa shivered.

"- Mrs. Lestrange, stop! – Jesus Christ Bella!

Oh shut it.. It's not like I feel it anyway. I probably just killed the rat that lives in there.

-That's no reason to continue slamming your head into a wall, Bella! –What the fuck is wrong with you Bellatrix?!"

The noise didn't stop, but Bella's sobs were added. At last, the letter was closed. Students looked at Narcissa in confusion, but she stood up and left the hall without saying a word, not trusting her voice. Once the doors were closed, Narcissa let out a sob as quietly as possible.

She would have to do something. Narcissa knew this state of her sister better than anyone. A state in which Bella was as cruel as ever, but only to herself. It had happened before, after Andromeda had left, after Narcissa's first child had died, after mother had been killed and after the Dark Lord had vanished. Though with the last one, it had quickly turned into a rage that had landed Bellatix in Azkaban.

But during all those times, Narcissa had been with her. She had been there with her sister to help her, to calm her down and to keep her from doing herself too much damage. Narcissa didn't want to think of what would happen now that Bellatrix was alone, safe from three men who couldn't reach her.

Then she would have to go to Azkaban herself.

The dementors always had a horrible effect on her, as her memories were much worse than those of most people. When she was younger, Narcissa had fainted often because of them, during the war, when she was not yet capable of producing a patronus.

But it didn't matter. All that mattered right now, was her sister.

OoO

It took hours, talking to ministry workers and aurors and healers. All to convince them to allow Narcissa one visit of an hour to Bellatrix. It had cost a lot of money, too, but all of it was meaningless. To see her sister, even for only one hour, was all she could think of.

And here she was. Inside the great building surrounded but dementors, a swan at her side. Still Narcissa felt the presence of the creatures, making her weaker, more scared, making her remember her worst memory.

The auror looked at her, most likely wondering why on earth Lady Malfoy would come to this place, only to see her deranged sister, but Narcissa ignored her look. When the cell door was opened, leading to four separate cells, Narcissa gasped softly.

Sirius, Rodolphus and Severus looked rather normal, as far as that went considering they had spent the last eleven years in Azkaban. They were all looking at the fourth cell, all more worried than Narcissa would've guessed.

In the corner of that cell, Bella was sitting. Her kneels were pulled up to her chest, she was sobbing and facing the wall. The auror left after saying she would be right behind the door and Narcissa walked towards her sister, very carefully.

"Bella?" She whispered. Bellatrix gasped and turned around, her eyes widening in shock. Narcissa's eyes fell on her sister's arms. One was scratched open, her underarm completely covered in blood. Her other hand was covered in blood as well, and Narcissa became nauseous at the realization that Bella herself had wounded her like that.

"C- C- Cissy?.." Her voice was barely audible, thick with disbelief. Her face too was scratched, though not as badly as her arm. "How?.."

Narcissa kneeled down beside her sister. "I talked to the ministry dear, we have an hour.."

"I'm sorry.. I should've.. done something.. helped you… I'm sorry Cissy!"  
"Sshh.. Don't be sorry dear.."  
"I'm a worthless big sister.. I was supposed to protect you!"

Narcissa couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Bella… You did! You always did.." She sat down against the wall and Bella automatically laid her head in her lap. Like she always did when she was upset. Narcissa stroked her hair softly.

"All of the times you stood up for me at home. You took my curses, started yelling at him when he was punishing me, so he would turn to you instead. Or that time you broke mother's teacups when he was about to.. rape me. When you threatened Hagrid in my first year, demanding you would go with me on the boats because you didn't want me to be alone.

Or when you hexed Rookwood and danced with me instead on the yuleball, because no way you would let a boy touch me. When you let me stay in your bed, also during schoolyears, because we both had the same nightmares. When you threatened and checked on Lucius every day during the first months of our marriage, to make sure I was treated well.

You were the best sister I could've asked for Bella.. You saved my life."

Narcissa silently wiped a tear from her own cheek and looked down at her sister, who had curled up. "But now I can't.. Because I'm locked up in this goddamn cell because I let Her control me!"

Her. It was how Bella called the strongest voice in her head. The one that made her even more crazy, dangerous and chaotic. During the war, Her had grown a lot stronger, more capable of controlling Bella. If Her hadn't controlled her, of course Bellatrix still would've gone to the Longbottom's, but they wouldn't have been tortured to insanity, she would've stopped in time. And she wouldn't have admitted it to the ministry.

Narcissa shook her head softly. "It doesn't matter love. I know how hard it is for you, but it's okay. I'll be fine, I promise you. Don't worry."

She pressed a kiss to Bella's forehead and felt her sister shake slightly. "Is She getting stronger?.."

Bellatrix sat up quickly, her eyes flashed from Narcissa to the others quickly. Then she nodded "Yes. Ever since the dark mark was…" She hugged Narcissa tightly. "I don't want to become like that again Cissy. Ever."

Of course not. Combined with her adoration for the Dark Lord, Bellatrix was like a killing machine when She took over. And though Bellatrix took no worth in anyone she killed and hurt, the last time even Narcissa herself was scared of her sister. Bella didn't want that to happen again.

"You won't Bella, you really won't. I know how strong you are, even stronger than during the war, I know that. "

It took a lot more talking and hugging to calm Bella down enough again, but then Narcissa smiled in relief. "I missed you Bella."

"I missed you too.. How long do we have?"  
"Only 15 more minutes. How are you?"

Bella smiled and Narcissa was relieved to see the enthausiasm back in her eyes. Her moods like this never lasted long. "Fine enough. My breath smells like something is rotting in there, but that's okay. Severus is going crazy, Rodolphus is less bad, he's pretty cool now. Did you know Sirius is an animagus? A dog!

He keeps turning into it, it's rather annoying because the whole cell starts to smell like wet dog. He isn't as bad as mother told us though, of course he loves mudbloods and all that, but after twelve years in this place, he's okay."

Narcissa smiled as politely as she could manage at the three men. She had known Severus quite well, due to his sort of friendship with Lucius. 'I'm sure it'll come in handy one day, Cissa, he's a potionsmaster.' But Rodolphus had been a good friend before he got caught.

And then there was Sirius. Her cousin who had run away when he was 15. She couldn't very well blame him of course, Narcissa knew her aunt and uncle were quite the same as her own parents, though Regulus had told her they weren't as cruel. Sirius nodded. "It's.. Good to see you again Narcissa."

"Likewise, Sirius."

Bellatrix looked at her, curiously and almost worried. "Dad is still locked up, right?.. I can see you're wearing much stronger glamours than then, what has he done?!"

Anger filled her voice now, but Narcissa knew it was her way of saying she cared. She sighed. "Nothing he hasn't done before, only more often. But yes, he is still in the hospital, don't worry about it Bella."

"Why more often?! Hasn't that creep hurt you enough already?!" Bella started to yell again, and Narcissa shushed her immediately.

"Bella quiet. Of course he hasn't, you know him. I'm the only daughter left, he would never touch Andromeda again after she slept with a muggleborn, and he couldn't very well go to Azkaban every time he.. right?"

Bella nodded softly, said nothing but hugged her tightly. "How much more scars do you have now?.. I'm sorry… I just.. haven't seen you in a while…"

Narcissa sighed softly and stood up, taking her wand out of her cloak. She ignored the men, it wasn't like they could tell anyone but each other anyway. Bella deserved to know what her own sister looked like, didn't she?

When Narcissa removed the glamours, four people gasped. It must look even more frightening with how pale she was right now, due to the dementors. "I… How.. How dare he… Cissy.." Bella stuttered out as she stood up as well, leaving a small pool of blood on the ground.

"It's been years, it's okay. It doesn't hurt anymore Bella…" Lies. Narcissa still had nightmares, though maybe not as often anymore. She still couldn't help but feel anxious when alone, or when it was completely dark. The cursed wounds still hurt when she took a bath or a shower. But she wouldn't tell Bella that. Bella deserved to know her sister was okay, and not to worry about her.

Sirius looked at her in shock. "Who would do something like that?... His own daughter…" He looked nauseous, but Narcissa didn't know what she could say.

They talked for a few more minutes after the auror came in, in which Narcissa quickly explained that Lucius, Draco, Alicia and for Sirius, Harry Potter and Remus Lupin, were all doing fine. Bella chuckled when Sirius had asked about Remus 'He never shuts up about him, the git's too much in love to be healthy you know Cissy?' But Sirius was relieved to know Remus was completely fine.

Then Narcissa and Bellatrix hugged one last time, said how much they loved each other, again, and Narcissa wiped a tear from her sister's face. "Don't cry now.. It's fine…" But she couldn't fight her own tears any longer and sighed in defeat. One last kiss on Bella's cheek, and Narcissa was taken away from the cell again.

Then it dawned on her. That had been the last time. The very last time she would ever see her sister.

When Narcissa arrived in the manor, she felt weak for crying even more.

OoO

They lay on the bed in the master bedroom, the three of them cuddled up together. Alicia, Narcissa and Lucius. Devika was downstairs, playing the piano to give Alicia time to be comforted. Narcissa was glad she understood.

Just now, Narcissa and Lucius had carefully told Alicia about the curse, and what it meant. Now the young woman was sobbing into her mother's chest, in between her parents.

"I'm so sorry honey.. I'm so so sorry.." Narcissa whispered as she stroked Alicia's back.

Alicia and Lucius shook their heads at the same time and Alicia said quietly "Don't blame yourself mom.. It's because of.. him…"

She knew that of course. But there was no way she could not blame herself. This was her child, her unborn daughter. And it was her that had let herself be cursed. She could've just done something. Anything.

But Narcissa nodded and sighed softly. "I know baby girl.. I know.."

The next day in class, Narcissa silenced the room as Gilderoy carried in three mice. "Narcissa, I really think my capacities could be used much better than this. I am, after all, Gilderoy Lockhart, I'm sure you've read my books, Magical Me?"

Narcissa sighed annoyed. "No matter your name, you are here as my assistant and nothing more. And no, I stopped reading the rubbish you call a book after the first chapter." A few girls in the classroom looked shocked, almost insulted, but the majority of the students chuckled. Gilderoy huffed and placed the cages with mice on the desk.

"Anyway, today we will be discussing the three unforgivable curses. The Imperius curse, the Cruciatus curse, and the Avada Kedavra curse. Anyone of you who is not comfortable talking about these curses, or watch these curses being used, may leave the room. It's not shameful to do so, and anyone treating it like it is will be serving detention with me for the following month."

One Slytherin, together with a Gryffindor boy, left the room after Narcissa stopped talking. No one said anything and she continued. "I will explain something about each curse, and then perform it on one of these mice."

Everyone was silent, Narcissa could see the interest, and a slight fear or nervousness, on the students' faces. "First, the Imperius curse.

The spell is Imperio, and the victim is taken from their will. They do not control their mind or body any longer, and will do anything, _anything,_ the caster tells them to do. Most people consider this to be the least harmful of the three, but be warned, people have been known to kill their family, their friends, under this spell.

It gives the caster complete control, you can be forced to do the most embarrassing, dangerous or horrible things. During the war, it was also used to control ministry workers, so they gave the Dark Lord information, keys, entrance, whatever it was he acquired. Without being able to do anything."

A few of the students looked horrified by that thought, and Narcissa couldn't blame them. She had experienced first-hand how it felt to be stripped of your own will and control, and knew it was a horrific feeling.

"The worst might be, that the victim does know what they are doing. They see everything, hear everything. They hear their brother begging for mercy, they hear his tortured screams, but they are not able to do anything against it. And that, according to known victims, is one of the most horrible feelings in our world."

Narcissa paused for a while as she took out one of the mice and placed it on her desk. She took her wand and said in a soft whisper. "Imperio." The mouse immediately started walking around in circles on the desk, almost fell down, actually fell down, and then ran dangerously close to the burning fireplace.

A student gasped and Narcissa stopped the curse. Without raising her hand, a girl on the front row spoke up. "How could anyone use that curse on a human being? That's just awful.."

Narcissa didn't tell her that she herself had used it as well, but instead nodded. "It is, Miss Kingsworth. It is."

The killingcurse was next, followed by Gilderoy's failed attempt of the cruciatus curse. Narcissa still refused to cast that one. At the end of class, another student spoke. "Have you ever used any of these curses, besides during these lessons?"

It was merely curiosity for the one student, but Narcissa saw a lot of others look at her, almost like blaming her. She had answered it many times before, and every time again the students were more than shocked, some even disgusted, by her answers.

"I have."  
"Which ones?"  
"All of them."

A gryffindor boy looked at her, almost angrily. "You've killed people? How could you?" At the same time the girl next to him asked how many people.

"Twenty-seven. And because it was me or them."  
"That's not an excu-"  
"Silence."  
"I would've di-"

Narcissa turned to the boy. "Silence. We will talk about the war during the next lessons, but I can tell you this." She took a deep breath.

"When you are told to kill someone, or to torture someone, you do it. You do it because otherwise you will be killed, your family will be killed. And the people you were supposed to kill? They will too, by someone else. It's not choosing between them or you, it's choosing between you, or no one."

She snapped it, angrier than she had meant to, but the boy was taken aback. Narcissa sighed. "Any more questions?"

This time it was a girl who raised her hand. "Have any of these curses ever been used on you?"

"Yes, and I can tell you that it is indeed horrific. But I will not say more of it, so leave it."

OoO

"You really haven't read my whole collection? I must say, dear Narcissa, you're missing out."

Narcissa sighed and turned around to face Lockhart. "I really haven't read it, Gilderoy. And I am not planning on doing so any time soon."

Was it really that difficult to understand? Apparently, because Gilderoy didn't stop. "I think you could learn something from it, I heard you have troubles with boggarts, I am very good at handling them, if I can say so myself."

"That's because your worst fear is a burned staple of photographs of yourself, we can't all be as simple as that, can we?"

Still he didn't give in. "Your sister is in Azkaban, a death eater, isn't she? You'd do well to at least know how to duel properly, I noticed your style is a bit clumsy."

"Says the man who managed to drop his wand three times while showing a movement. Gilderoy, do us all a favour and stop trying to act like you're better than us. We all know you won't succeed."

And with that, she left the room.

OoO

 **So, I hope you all like it, and I will put up the next chapter a lot sooner, promise. If you liked the chapter, please leave a comment?**


	21. Memories

**So what I've found: I have a very hard time starting to write, I just can't bring myself to start. But once I'm writing, I can finish a chapter within a few hours. I hope you like it.**

OoO

"I'm not going to give you facts. I'm not going to tell you how many people died during which battle, because that is not just what war is." The class was listening with awe while Narcissa spoke, her back turned to them.

"War is living in a constant state of terror. Knowing that every minute can be your last, that every time you speak so someone, could be the last time you see them alive. War is watching your friends and family die, watching them kill and torture others. War is having no place that's safe, not a person you can truly trust except one or two."

She was interrupted by a student. "But you were a death eater, weren't you? You were as safe as could be."

Narcissa looked at the girl, trying to see whether she was joking or not. She wasn't. "Yes, Miss Hethaway, I was indeed a death eater. But no, we were most certainly not safe."

"Well, you weren't attacked by death eaters the entire time, were you?" The girl retorted. Narcissa sighed.

"No one is safe during a war. Not the light side, nor the death eaters. No, we were not attacked by death eaters, only the women were. And don't think the Dark Lord treats his followers any kinder than he treats his enemies. The moment you do something, even the smallest thing, wrong in his eyes, you and your family are punished.

Women and daughters are raped, mostly just to humiliate and hurt their fathers and husbands. Children are tortured in front of their parents as punishment for their failure. All while the other death eaters stand around you in a circle, laughing at you because if they don't, they're next."

A Gryffindor boy looked at her, shocked. "You mean.. you were, oh god."

Narcissa sighed and nodded shortly. "Yes."

"In the following lessons, I will be showing you memories. Through a special object, the memories will be shown in the front of the class. I will not tell you to who these memories belong, but they're from death eaters, aurors, and innocent men alike.

Before I start the memory, I'll make sure to tell you shortly what will happen. If you are uncomfortable watching any of it, feel free to leave the classroom."

The same girl as before raised her hand again. "Are your own memories there too?"

Narcissa nodded. "Yes, some of them. I will not always tell you which ones, but I think you'll be able to tell for yourself." She walked to her desk and took out a small object from one of the drawers. It had been a gift from Lucius years ago, which allowed her to show him her precise memories, as she was not able to talk about them most of the time.

When Narcissa placed the pensieve on her desk, she took a small flacon from her robes. "This is a battle scene, seen from the eyes of an auror. You'll see death eaters, though only their masks and sometimes their hair, and people will die. Anyone wishing to leave, feel free to do so."

All the students stayed in their seats, looking expectantly at the object, and Narcissa poured the memory into the pensieve. She walked to one side of the room, and smiled softly when the memory started.

The pensieve was charmed in such a way, that allowed the viewers to also hear the exact thoughts of the person the memory belonged to.

 _Screaming._

 _Only screaming, tortured screams of her friends who had been caught by death eaters. Men and women screaming at each other, telling them to run, to stay, to fight. It was a complete chaos._

 _She looked up when a familiar voice called out to her. 'WATCH OUT' And was just in time to dodge a bright green curse. When she turned around to see who had cast it, she only saw a woman. Cloaked in black robes, with a pure white mask to cover her face._

Narcissa bit her lip, it was her. She had almost killed the auror this memory belonged to. Almost.

 _"_ _That was too close, Emmeline. Be careful!" The man yelled out before storming away. She ran after him, this time looking around more carefully. From the corner of her eye she saw the same woman, again casting the killing curse. This time she succeeded, a man whose name she didn't know fell to the ground._

 _She shook her head quickly and looked in front of her again, searching for the familiar man. She called out for him, and saw him turning around. Before the same woman, whose skin was suddenly covered in old and new wounds, yelled out. "Avada Kedavra!"_

 _She screamed. Filled with anger she stormed at the blonde, pushed her to the ground. The woman gasped in pain. She immediately noticed why, when she held the blonde's arms to the ground. A baby bump._

 _She hesitated. She had never murdered, and a pregnant woman… What was a pregnant woman doing on a battle field? She hesitated too long, the woman pushed her off of her and got up quickly. She took her wand, but instead of killing her, placed her hand shortly on her stomach. As to make sure her child was alright._

 _A man, wearing a mask as well, ran towards the blonde woman. He had the same hair colour as her, and said. "How are you? How is she?" The woman only nodded and hugged the man shortly._

 _"_ _I'll see you at home, be safe love." And the man nodded before running away again. The woman now turned to her._

 _They duelled. And she noticed quickly that she would never win this. Though the woman's movements were slightly disadvantaged due to her pregnancy, she was still too skilled for her. So she fled._

 _Cowardly, but she wouldn't die. Not tonight, at least._

The memory stopped. Narcissa walked back to the front of the class and looked at the students. "The man who got killed, was her husband. This battle took place in a small village near London and about 50 people were involved, of which 9 were killed. Any comments?"

A student in the middle of the class raised his hand. "Why would a pregnant woman become a death eater? Or fight in a battle? That's dangerous right?"

Narcissa nodded. "It is. But there are many reasons. The woman you saw was not an official death eater, she only was there because the Dark Lord had told her too."

"Do you know what happened to her baby?'  
"The girl didn't live, but that had nothing to do with this battle."

Another student spoke up. "Who was that woman? She could fight pretty good, considering she was pregnant. But why did she have to kill that man?"

Narcissa sighed softly and answered. "Yes she could, at the time of this memory, I believe she was pregnant for six months. She killed the man because it is war. It's killed or be killed, and nothing else."

"And why didn't the woman of this memory kill the pregnant one? She'd have deserved it."

It hurt a little, but Narcissa answered normally. "Because killing is hard. It is extremely difficult to murder someone, especially if they're completely at your mercy. Like in the memory, the pregnant woman could do nothing, so the auror was in control whether she'd live or die.

Perhaps, had the woman not been pregnant, she would've been killed."

"What about the man? Was he family? They had the same hair colour. And who was the pregnant woman?"

Narcissa smiled softly and turned back to the class. "The man was her husband. And the woman was me"

The class was silent for a while and Narcissa looked at the student's shocked faces. A girl spoke up softly. "That means… You could've been killed. And… You killed."

"Yes, though this wasn't very close, I must say. And yes. I've killed." Narcissa awaited the reactions, which were mostly what she had expected. Shock. Disgust. And a few Slytherins with something close to understanding, she knew some of their parents, they had been death eaters as well. She was sure they had told their children already about the war.

"Can we see your memory? Of this battle."

Narcissa thought about it for a minute. It would show the different sides of one fight, surely, but she wasn't entirely sure whether she wished for the students to see it. But Narcissa nodded. They would see memories of her anyway, later on.

She walked to the front of the class. "The memory will last till after the fight, though parts have been skipped."

Ten minutes later the memory started.

 _She apparated, her hand protectively around her stomach. The fight had not yet begun. Other death eaters appeared as well, and immediately walked to the houses there. Narcissa and Lucius followed._

 _When the first death eaters already left houses, meaning the inhabitants were now dead, aurors appeared at the field. Suddenly all the death eaters ran towards them, and Narcissa and Lucius followed._

 _Screams. Tortured screams of pain, of loss. Narcissa held her wand firmly and prayed to whoever would listen that those screams did not belong to Lucius or Bella. Anyone but them._

 _She duelled with a man, and dodged a killing curse. Narcissa gasped softly and cast a silence curse. The man screamed horribly and fell on his knees to the ground, a pool of blood forming around him before he fell down in it._

 _Narcissa shook slightly and turned away from the body, looking across the battle field. She started to run but screamed out and almost fell when a sharp pain hit her back. She spun around instantly and duelled again._

 _Her back hurt, she could feel blood streaming out of it quickly, too quickly. Tears from pain welled up in her eyes when she cast the killing curse and the woman fell to the ground._

 _Then she almost fell as well, Narcissa became dizzy from the loss of blood and stumbled across the field to one of the empty houses. In the hallway she let herself drop to the ground. But she could not die, not here, not now. She had a daughter to whom she owed it to live._

 _When she heard stumbling in a room, Narcissa put off her mask quickly and hid it. A woman older than her walked into the hallway, wand ready. "Who are you?" She said with a shaking voice._

 _Narcissa thought quickly and said weakly "Emmeline.. Emmeline Vance." A name from an auror who shared her hair colour, she knew. The woman nodded and knelt down._

 _"_ _Who did this to you?" She asked softly, before healing the wound. Narcissa sighed softly in relief._

 _"_ _Dolohov.. I don't know his first name…"_

 _Narcissa was quickly given a blood replenishing potion, and she smiled softly. "Where's your family?.. Did they.." She was glad she could act._

 _The woman nodded and Narcissa saw she was fighting tears. "All of them.. My daughter, my husband.. By those monsters."_

 _Then Narcissa sat up straight, which made her stomach obvious. The woman looked at her belly shocked, and then confused. "I didn't know you were pregnant.. it wasn't said anywhere."_

 _Narcissa didn't wait for her to understand, she took her mask and stood up, though a bit weak. She took her wand and the woman gasped. Narcissa waited. "The hair.. It's Vance's. But you're pregnant… It was only said of.."_

 _The woman only whispered softly "Narcissa Malfoy…" with disbelief. And Narcissa nodded._

 _"_ _Thank you for saving me. Avada Kedavra."_

 _The woman was dead._

 _She felt horrible, like a monster. But Narcissa shoved away the feeling of self hate, she did not have the time for that now._

 _The battle was coming to an end. Aurors and death eaters alike were fleeing, too many people were laying on the ground, dead._

 _Narcissa looked around for Lucius, panicking now. He couldn't have died, not now. She started to breath quickly and fired a killing curse to two people who were going to Bella, one missed but the other hit. A man ran towards her and Narcissa didn't think twice. The man died._

 _A woman screamed and before Narcissa had even turned around, she was on the ground with no one else than Emmeline Vance once top of her. She let out a soft scream and gasped in pain, the wound on her back had not fully healed, apparently._

 _Emmeline hesitated. Narcissa saw it in her eyes. Too long, Narcissa pushed her off of her and sprung to her feet. She could've killed her then and there, but instead she reached for her stomach and inhaled sharply. It hurt too much to be healthy._

 _Emmeline didn't do anything, just staring at her. Then Narcissa felt two arms wrap around her waist and immediately turned around. Lucius._

 _"_ _There you are, my love. How are you? How is she?" Narcissa wanted to answer but could only nod. She hugged Lucius tightly and sighed._

 _"_ _I'll see you at home, be safe love."_

 _Lucius was called away again and pressed only a soft kiss to her forehead. Narcissa turned around and faced Emmeline. Another duel started._

 _She wouldn't win this, for now she was better, but her back hurt too much. Her stomach hurt too much and a curse from earlier had removed her glamours. Scars had reopened again and Narcissa felt herself grow weaker every second._

 _Then Emmeline ran. Narcissa didn't know why, but as soon as she was gone she apparated. Back in Malfoy manor she sighed and sat down on a sofa._

 _Narcissa closed her eyes and tried to ignore the pain, she called for a house elf. But she started to cry before the elf had come._

Narcissa wanted nothing more now than to walk forward and stop the memory now. She hadn't realized this was part of it too. But when she stepped forward, a girl in the back row looked at her and silently shook her head. She nodded to the rest of the class, who seemed interested.

Maybe it would learn them something. This girl was the daughter of Augustus Rookwood, she knew the stories from her parents. Narcissa figured she only wanted the class to understand it as well, and not look down on her for having death eaters as parents.

Narcissa sighed, the memory went on.

 _That's how Lucius and Bellatrix found her. Bella immediately ran upstairs, scared she might hurt her sister when still not in her normal state, but Lucius sat down next to her. "Where does it hurt, Love?"_

 _She was healed quickly, but it didn't stop her tears. Narcissa spoke with a shaking voice. "I killed one of the women in the houses._

 _She saw me and helped me, saved my life. She thought me to be an auror. After that, I killed her."_

 _Narcissa was shaking now, and Lucius only held her. "She would've killed you if she found out who you were, Cissa. You didn't have another choice.."_

 _She sighed and wiped the tears from her face._

The memory stopped. But Narcissa remembered what had happened afterwards. It had taken Lucius long to calm her, also due to her hormones Narcissa had to admit.

The class was silent once again as Narcissa slowly walked to the front of the room. "Class is dismissed."

Students left, no one said a word. When Narcissa turned around there was only one student left, a Gryffindor boy who looked at her with a mix of fear and disgust. What he said hurt, far more than Narcissa would admit.

"How could you?"

Because she still didn't know.

OoO

Whispers followed her throughout the next week. Narcissa heard arguments of students, about her. Like a couple, one girl from Slytherin and another from Gryffindor.

"I don't get how she could've done something that horrible! The woman had saved her life."  
"Because she had found out who she was. That woman would've killed her immediately. The death eaters had just murdered her family!"  
"She lied to her, then she killed her. That's horrible."  
"You heard Mrs. Malfoy's thoughts, she only wanted to protect her daughter. It wasn't even about her own life."  
"I know… But how could someone do that? She also said she immediately regretted it, and she was obviously upset about it. But how could she even speak that curse?"  
"People do weird things, and she said it herself. It's killed or be killed during a war like that. It's a miracle she survived."

Narcissa had walked away after that.

Now she was sitting in the three broomsticks with Minerva. Both with a glass of Elven wine. They were discussing the chamber of secrets.

"Ginny Weasley has been acting very strange." Minerva said. Narcissa nodded softly and took a sip of her wine to give her a little extra time to think of an answer.

"Indeed… I've only seen behaviour like that during the war."  
"What do you think it is?"  
"Possession. But you need a very strong magic source to do that, especially from a distance."

Minerva swallowed. She said "Do you have any idea how they would've done that?" But Narcissa shook her head.

"But she has a diary. She dropped it in class once, she freaked out when I picked it up to give it from her."  
"A normal diary?"

Narcissa sighed and shook her head again. "No… It belonged to Tom Riddle." Narcissa felt horrible for lying to her friend, but it wasn't save to tell the truth. Especially not here. She only hoped Minerva would understand.

They were silent. Narcissa watched the other woman as she processed the news. "You know who…"

Narcissa continued, talking softer. "I went to the Black library a couple of weeks ago, to find maybe something that could help. But the only thing as powerful as this would have to be, is a horcrux."

"That can't be…" Was the soft whisper from Minerva, Narcissa shook her head.

"I don't think so… It's the darkest of magic, even for the Dark Lord." She sighed. "But I don't know what else it could be."

They paid Madame Rosmerta for their drinks, who hugged both of them and kissed Minerva on both cheeks. Narcissa smiled and raised her eyebrows after they had left the pub. "What are you looking?" Minerva said, defensively.

Narcissa chuckled. "Nothing Minerva, nothing at all." But it didn't escape her notice how Minerva's cheeks had turned red, though just a little.

Minerva sighed and changed the subject. "And the creature? Inside the chamber?"

"Well… It's something that can paralyze people, move through the castle without people noticing it, and can only be controlled by the heir of Slytherin. Salazar was a parseltongue." Narcissa said, wrapping her dark green scarf tighter around her neck.

The older woman nodded. "But what kind of creature could do so?"

Narcissa did not know. "I will have to go back to the Black library I'm afraid. May I ask you to come with me?" She was almost embarrassed as she asked it, but she knew Minerva would understand.

Said woman nodded. "Of course, Narcissa. Shall we go next Saturday?" She opened the door when they had gotten back to the castle and Narcissa smiled when she stepped inside the warm hallways again.

"We shall."

OoO

 **So, again. Very late, very sorry. But please leave a review if you liked it?**


	22. Draco

OoO

Narcissa and Minerva stood in front of Black Manor. As always, it made Narcissa shiver once. Minerva looked at her with concern. "Are you alright?"

She placed a hand on Narcissa's shoulder and smiled supportively. Narcissa nodded. "Yes. Let's just get this over with."

She hated this place with all her heart. Every room brought back so many memories she had locked away. She stepped forward and knocked on the door.

Once inside, Minerva looked around in awe. It was a very impressive manor, Narcissa had to admit. She looked torn between commenting on the place, or staying silent so Narcissa smiled softly. "You can say it's beautiful, I know it is."

Minerva smiled back. "It's a magnificent place."

Narcissa nodded. "Two dinner rooms, a ballroom, five bathrooms, 8 bedrooms, more other rooms than I know of." And she couldn't think of a single room where she had not been hurt.

Without saying anything else they walked through the manor, Narcissa looked only at the floor, trying to block out anything else.

Even now, though she had been here more often after the first time, she felt herself getting scared at the thought of entering the library. She stopped.

"Narcissa, what's wrong?" Minerva asked softly, walking closer to her.

Narcissa closed her eyes. "It's forbidden…" But she shook her head quickly. She had to ignore it for now. Or at least try. Narcissa called a house elf.

When she had entered the second time, she had found out that the potion was always refilled. The elf she had called looked at her in fear and shock when she ordered it, like the ones before it, to go inside the library.

"Don't look, Minerva." Narcissa whispered and Minerva turned around. The screams of the elf filled the hallway for a few minutes before it was silent.

Minerva was shaking slightly now and Narcissa walked to her worriedly. She led her to the drawing room. "I'm sorry."

She sat down next to Minerva, who shook her head. "It's not the elf… But… he put that there, for you, didn't he? For you and your sisters…"

That was not what Narcissa had expected. But it was true. She nodded softly and sighed. "Yes. So he would know for sure who entered it. The one who winced when she put on clothes."

"That's horrific… I mean, I knew he… but like this…"

Narcissa understood. "It's much more shocking to see it like this, instead of only knowing something."

Minerva nodded. She was pale and looked at her hands, folded in her lap. Narcissa wrapped an arm around her. "I can't even begin to understand how… How horrible it was… And here you are, like nothing is wrong… And all those years, none of us noticed."

Narcissa knew she meant the teachers, she knew how Minerva felt responsible for her students, and wanted to take care of them. "That's not your fault, Minerva. Really, don't blame yourself…"

She hugged her and smiled softly when Minerva held her tight. They sat like that for a while, cuddled up on an old sofa. Narcissa closed her eyes.

An hour later, they were in the library. They were both reading through the many books it contained, trying to find something useful. Suddenly Minerva gasped.

Narcissa looked up from her book. "What is it?"

"What you said when we were in Hogsmeade. Horcruxes…"

Narcissa stood up as quickly as she could manage and walked to Minerva. "Do you think that's what the diary is?" Minerva could only nod.

"Such magic…"  
"The diary belonged to the Dark Lord. If it's a horcrux… His soul is in there."

Narcissa shivered. "That means… He's alive. The Dark Lord is not dead…" She felt nauseous and dizzy of fear and sat down next to Minerva. Judging by the woman's face, she felt the same.

"And one of our students has that part of his soul."

Minerva hugged her tight, a hug that Narcissa gladly returned. Just as with Lucius, it made her feel safe.

"Then we should do something."

OoO

Lockhart was in the back of the room, Narcissa was preparing a memory for the pensieve. She turned around and silenced the class. "As always, a memory from an unknown person, and a memory from me."

It had grown to be custom now, as she had found that the students formed much better opinions on the matter when they saw someone they knew.

"The first memory will be of the wife of a death eater, while she is waiting for her husband's return. Not much will happen, as she sits on the sofa, but focus on her thoughts."

She started the memory and walked to the back of the class, she knew how the memory ended, she knew who it belonged to.

 _A black woman sat on a dark blue sofa, in front of the fire. In her arms a child._

 _'_ _When will he return? He should've been back hours ago. Where is he?'_

 _She was terrified. Her husband had been late many times, and always had come back. But now she had a feeling in her stomach that didn't go away. Like something had gone wrong._

 _She shouldn't think like that. Not now. He would come back, he promised to come back._

 _It was all because of Him. The Dark lord her husband had so eagerly signed up with. If it wasn't for Him, he would've been besides her now. Tickling their son, laughing. Not where ever he was now._

 _She hated Him, with all she had. But like the other death eaters who felt the same, she stayed silence. Speaking up would cost her life._

 _A knock on the door, the woman stood up. Holding her child tightly against her chest, she walked to the door and opened it. Filled with relief she smiled, but then she froze and her eyes widened._

 _An auror._

 _"_ _May I come in?"_

 _The woman only nodded. Something was wrong, she could feel it. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and shook her head as she made her way back to the living room._

 _The auror sat down. "Mrs. Zabini… Your husband, he…" He stopped talking._

 _She knew. Mrs. Zabini started to cry, first softly but then she sobbed. Her child was crying in her arms but she didn't pay it attention, she only sobbed and shut her eyes. She screamed._

 _The auror left but she didn't notice. She sobbed and screamed into nothing, she fell down on the sofa, her son was laying there as well and now she looked at him._

 _The pain was too much. Too much for her to handle. But she could not give in to it. She could not lose her son now too. Not him too. Not him too._

 _Another scream, another sob. But not him too._

 _Not him too._

Narcissa waited a moment before walking forward again. Mrs. Zabini was friend of hers, and she had been there to comfort her after her husband's death. She had helped raising Blaise, her son.

The class was silent as always, a few students had tears on their cheeks and Narcissa understood it.

"This was near the end of the war. During one of the last battles fought. The woman is okay now, as is her son."

Discussing the memories happened at the end of the second, she knew. Narcissa put in her own memory. "This is a death eater meeting, where my sister and I are both tortured. Cruciatus curses and curses that cause wounds are used, anyone not feeling comfortable with it, may leave."

One student blushed and left the room quickly, but no one laughed. A few looked at him with pity. Narcissa walked back to the back of the class when the memory started.

 _"_ _Bellatrix. I must say, I am disappointed."_

 _She could see the heart break in her sister's face as the Dark Lord gestured for her to stand up. Bella did and looked at the man with wide eyes._

 _'_ _Crucio.' It was only a whisper, but her sister fell to the ground with a horrific scream. Narcissa recalled hearing it back at home, and shivered._

 _It went on, but though her sister was in pain, it was clear she didn't mind her being the victim. Narcissa thought it to be sickening. Bella was almost accustomed to the pain, or at least this part of her was._

 _The Dark Lord stopped. "This is not working, is it Alecto?" Alecto shook her head quickly._

 _"_ _Well then, Rodolphus you're her husband. Who does your precious wife love the most?"_

 _Narcissa's heart froze when he said softly "Her sister, My Lord." And she was called forward. Next to Bella who looked at the Dark Lord with wide eyes._

 _"_ _N-no my lord! Please! Not her. She has done nothing wrong! She wasn't even there! She-" But she was cut off by Narcissa's scream._

 _She was on the ground, excruciating pain all in her body. She closed her eyes as to not have to look at Bella's face, filled with guilt._

 _Another curse and another. And then it stopped. She didn't move, she knew better than to move. She knew this from home, he would stop and give her a sense of safety, and then would continue._

 _She was right. But the next curse was not the cruciatus, but she knew it. Papercuts, all across her skin. Burning like fire, but not even bleeding a lot._

 _The next curse was Sectum Sempra, and she knew it would stop soon. A sectum Sempra curse would kill within minutes if not treated._

 _Right again. It stopped and Bellatrix knelt down next to her, healing her wounds. The Dark Lord called it an end and the death eaters left._

 _Lucius ran to her side but she did not move. She felt tears fall down her cheeks but did not sob, she only stared at the ceiling. She couldn't move, could only lay there._

 _"_ _Take her upstairs. Lay her in bed and fill a bath. I make hot tea and brioche." Bella said hurriedly, Lucius hesitated._

 _"_ _What?..."_

 _"_ _I've been through this with her before Lucius! So just do what I say or I swear to Salazar you will regret it!" She slapped him across his face._

Narcissa was shaking slightly when she walked back. She sat down behind her desk, causing the students to look at her worriedly. She never sat down during these lessons.

Lockhart was pale too, as were many students. One girl raised her hand, the one that had argued the death eaters were as safe as could be during the first lesson. "T-that was horrible…"

More questions quickly followed.

"What does the cruciatus curse feel like?"  
"What had she done wrong?"  
"Who was that woman?"  
"Why did she know what to do?"  
"Was every meeting like that?"  
"Why brioche?"

Narcissa chuckled after the last question. She didn't stand up but silenced the class. "Alright, silence please."

She sighed. "The cruciatus curse feels like knives, it's like being stabbed with a knife, everywhere on and inside your body.

Bellatrix had led a mission, it had gone wrong because she went mad. The woman in the first memory was Lady Zabini. Bellatrix knew what to do because, like she said, she had done it before."

Narcissa took a breath. "Not all of the meetings, only when someone had wronged the Dark Lord."

Then she chuckled. "And brioche because I just like it a lot."

Though she wasn't tense anymore, she didn't trust her legs to not give in if she tried to stand up. Another girl raised her hand. "You thought of your father… Why?"

Her eyes revealed she knew very well why and Narcissa looked at her coldly. "I'm not going to tell you, don't ask."

It had always been a problem. Students were eager to find out interesting details about their parents life, and in some ways Narcissa wanted people to know. To know why she sometimes just couldn't deal with things, why certain things triggered her.

But she also did not want people to find out. In ways she was ashamed, and it was personal. She sighed softly, she had been having this debate with herself for years now.

"Your are dismissed."

OoO

"Shouldn't have turned your back on me."

The wall read. Written once again in blood.

No one knew what it meant, to who it was directed. But everyone panicked. During the last months, a few attacks had happened.

But it was late, and tiredness took over quickly. Narcissa led the Slytherins back to their dorms, comforted a scared first year, and looked to see how Draco was doing. He looked fine and she smiled.

In her rooms, she put off her glamours and changed into her nightwear, a silver nightgown. She fell asleep quickly.

Then she was woken abruptly by a second year student. Blaise Zabini. He had been crying she saw and Narcissa sat up. "What's wrong, Blaise?"

"It's Draco… He- He's been attacked!"

No.

Not her son.

Narcissa's eyes widened and she stood up immediately, ignoring the dizziness. "Follow me Blaise." She ran to the Slytherin common room and yelled at the portrait to let her in.

There were more students in the common room, surrounding one of the sofa's. They looked up when she entered, and she realized she was not wearing glamours. She must look horrific but it didn't matter.

Draco was laying on the sofa. Frozen, in only his pyjama pants. Narcissa froze when she saw his chest, a small version of the dark mark, cut with a knife.

Don't let him be dead.

Narcissa fought her tears and started yelling. "Rookwood! Go to the hospital wing and wake up Madame Pomfrey, tell her she's to prepare a bed. Crabbe, Goyle, carry him, be careful for Salazar's sake. Blaise, call Minerva."

The students made room for her, the Rookwood girl left together with Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle tried to carry Draco as careful as they could manage.

Narcissa felt herself grow weaker. "Daphne, go to my office. Floo Lucius, please." She said to Daphne Greengrass, another student she had always been close with.

The girl nodded and ran. "Go back to sleep if you can, in the morning you can talk to me or someone else if you want to."

She knew that with the other attacks, things like that hadn't been necessary. But she also knew that this was different. Everyone in their house knew that mark. Everyone knew what it meant.

Narcissa ran after Crabbe and Goyle, tears now welling up in her eyes and she let them fall. Poppy was already awake, and Draco was put on one of the beds.

The nurse looked at her in shock but didn't comment. Instead focused on Draco. Minerva came into the room with Blaise and hugged her. She gasped when she saw Draco's chest. "The message was for you…"

Narcissa nodded and wanted to answer but Albus walked in. He looked at Narcissa with a sad twinkle in his eyes. "My dear, Narcissa. What has happened to you?" But Narcissa shook her head.

Albus nodded and turned to Draco, the twinkle left his eyes. "Oh my…"

Narcissa was on the edge of breaking when Lucius walked in and stared with disbelief had his son.

Minerva held an arm protectively around her and Narcissa spoke softly. "There was a message last night, on the wall. That we never should've turned our backs on him."

Her voice was weak and Lucius walked towards her, hugging her tightly. One arm also wrapped around Minerva, who was still holding Narcissa as well.

"It's what we were scared of then?..." Lucius whispered.

Narcissa nodded and hugged both of them tightly. "He's being punished. Because of us."

It's what Narcissa had always been terrified of. That Draco would be hurt because of them, because of something they did.

More teachers came in now, warned by Albus. Pomona looked at Draco with pity and looked at Narcissa. "My dear… What has happened to you?..."

She shook her head. "Nothing to worry about Pomona."

Albus silenced everyone. "We will talk to the students during breakfast, in an hour. But first I want to talk to Narcissa and Minerva, you had looked in the Black Library, am I right?"

Minerva nodded "Yes Albus. We'll talk in my office, it's closest." Albus smiled.

"Of course, Lord Malfoy is more than welcome to join, we're not sending you home now."

The other teachers gave the couple looks of pity, and Lucius put an arm protectively around Naricssa. Minerva smiled sadly and took her hand.

Once in the office, Albus first asked how they were doing. Though it was obvious he did not believe her when she said "fine.", he didn't press the matter.

He then asked about the information. Minerva answered.

"In Black Manor, there was a book that talked about dark magic. It said something about horcruxes."

Albus looked at her with disbelief. "Are you certain, Minerva?..."

Narcissa nodded. "We're certain Albus. There's a diary, Ginny Weasley had it. I'm not sure whether she still has. Only a horcrux, or a living person, has enough power to possess someone."

She bowed her head. Albus nodded sadly. "Minerva, you are miss. Weasley's head of house. Would you attempt to talk to her?"

Minerva nodded and sighed. "Of course, Albus."

"And.. Narcissa? What happened to you?" Albus asked softly. He sounded truly worried about her. Narcissa looked down.

"Nothing, Albus. Don't worry…" She was tired. Maybe she would've answered him if she weren't, but she was too tired right now.

Albus nodded softly and shared a worried look with Minerva, who put an arm around Narcissa's shoulder. Albus smiled. "You two have grown a lot closer this past months."

When Narcissa thought about it, it was most likely true. She didn't know why exactly, but she and Minerva had grown closer, a lot. She smiled.

Minerva smiled softly as well. "I think you're right, Albus."

OoO

Later that afternoon, Narcissa had fallen asleep in her rooms. She only woke up when someone entered her fireplace. She sat up and turned around, she gasped suprisedly.

"Charlie! What are you doing here?" Narcissa smiled and stood up slowly. Charlie Weasley immediately walked towards her to help.

"Minerva has a soft spot for me, she called a couple of hours ago to tell me… About your son. I had to come of course." He paused. "How is Draco? How are you? I've missed too much, I didn't even know you were pregnant!"

Charlie smiled brightly and Narcissa chuckled. "Draco is, like the other victims. Paralyzed, but not in danger. What worried us is the mark, Minerva told you about it I assume." Charlie nodded. "I'm okay, just very tired.

And yes, I'm pregnant…"

Confusion spread across Charlie's face. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" But Narcissa shook her head.

"She won't live. But, let's not talk about that." Charlie looked shocked, but nodded. Narcissa smiled. "So, how's it going?"

"Well, the dragons are amazing. We've gotten a few new ones, and it's wonderful. We have a Hungarian horntail! Those are great. Mom is still bugging me over getting a partner, it's horrible. She knows I don't want to, but she still insists I will one day. For the grandkids."

He rolled his eyes and Narcissa sighed. "I'm sorry to here that Charlie."

Charlie shrugged. "She'll realize one day that it's never going to happen, right?" He chuckled and Narcissa nodded.

"Most likely, yes."  
"How's Alicia doing? And Dora?"

Narcissa smiled. "Alicia is just fine, she has a new girlfriend, Devika. She just came back from India, they're living in the Manor for a while.

Dora is doing great, she has just started her auror training, which she loves. Her hair is currently purple, with a blue dip-dye." Charlie laughed.

He sat down on the sofa and Narcissa sat down next to him. "Could I meet Devika? If that's alright with her of course." Narcissa nodded.

"Of course! What if you, and whoever you want to bring, come over for lunch. Tomorrow at Malfoy Manor?"  
"So, I can take dad? I'd like to see how that would turn out."

Narcissa laughed. "I don't think you do. That wouldn't go too well, and I don't think he would come anyway." Charlie nodded.

"Of course, I'll ask the twins."

OoO

 **Oh wow, this went a lot faster than expected. I hope you liked it, and please leave a review if you did?**


	23. Escapee

**Over a month, I know, sorry. I had no idea where to start, I didn't have any ideas for the next chapters, but here it is. I quite like it, and I'm going to try to include a brand new ship I found, so enjoy ^-^**

OoO

The remaining part of the year went by fast, too fast.

Narcissa talked to Harry Potter more often, and she and Minerva did their best to help Ginny Weasley. After months, with help of the Black Library, they found out what exactly it was that lived inside the chamber.

But of course Harry Potter had to hear of it. And before Narcisssa and Minerva could get to the Chamber, he was there.

Thank goodness it turned out well, not considering Lockhart. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had come to Hogwarts immediately of course, and on advice of Albus, they agreed Ginny would talk to Narcissa once a week. Considering she was the only one they knew with any experience on possession, or trauma.

Draco and the other victims had awoken near the end of the school year. Narcissa couldn't have been happier to hold her son again.

Whispers considering her participation in all of it had stopped after Draco's attack. But people still looked at her judgingly, mostly due to the memories she had shown them.

Narcissa did not regret the series of lessons, however. She had seen the understanding of students, and though not all of them believed so, most had seen just how awful the war had been for either side.

And she had lost her child.

Students looked at her with pity, some gave their condolences, some said sorry. Lucius and Minerva had barely left her side. Draco and Alicia were sad, but went to Lucius with their grief, for which Narcissa felt both guilty and thankful.

But it meant nothing. Just like it had before, losing her child had left Narcissa feeling like nothing but a failure. It made her want to scream in pain, to cry and never leave her bed again.

It made her feel exhausted all the time, like she didn't have the energy to do more than eating. Narcissa knew it wouldn't last forever, she did, but it didn't feel like it would.

Which was why this year again, a second teacher was hired for defence against the dark arts, this time someone Narcissa knew vaguely from her own years at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin.

She had only briefly spoken to the man yet, but as today was the first day of school, the teachers would have a meeting. Narcissa was a bit worried about it.

During her school time, she had never paid much attention to Remus, nor his friends except for Sirius and the girl. Lily Evans had been the only one she had actually observed.

And for the other teachers, they knew of course what had happened. But she was still anxious. Narcissa sighed, looking in the mirror. Her glamours hid her tiredness, her red eyes and scars. No one could see just how bad she felt.

Like it was supposed to be.

OoO

Remus Lupin was a kind man. He understood and respected what Narcissa was and was not willing or able to do, and didn't ask further when she didn't want to explain.

When she had seen the way he tried to cover up his scars, she showed him how to cast a good enough glamour to hide them. Glamours were very complicated spells, not known by many people, she knew that.

She didn't ask where the scars had come from, and he didn't ask about hers. But the grateful smile he gave her showed he did trust her, or something that looked like it.

They didn't bring up Sirius until they had to, when the Prophet said he was spotted close by. Narcissa had been the one to start it.

"I've never believed he actually betrayed them." Narcissa said softly, not looking at Remus. "James and Lily were his escape. The Potter's saved him, he'd never do something like that."

Remus looked at her, saying nothing as if he had no idea what to answer. She didn't look up, only stared at her hands. After a minute, he spoke up. "He's your cousin, it's only normal you can't think bad of him. But who else would have done it, Narcissa?"

Narcissa closed her eyes. "Has he ever told you about his home?" The man nodded softly.

"Not too much, but.." He stammered.

"Knowing Sirius, he hasn't told you even half of it. Believe me, he would never betray the one that took him away from that place. He would've died before that happened." Narcissa sighed. "He loved James and Lily, they saved him. Had he been given the chance to betray them, he wouldn't have. Not even if it was the Dark Lord himself forcing him to."

Remus seemed unwilling to believe her, though she could understand that. "How do you know so much? After he got sorted into Gryffindor, I don't recall you two ever speaking."

"Lils has told me a bit. I know how much Sirius cared, and I can only imagine the gratefulness after James took him away from home." Remus looked at her a bit surprised.

"Lils?" He smiled softly, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "I've always had my suspicions about you two…" But Narcissa shook her head.

"Not now, Remus… I'm too tired." She sighed softly. "I'm going home, I'll see you tomorrow."

OoO

Exactly two weeks after that conversation, the letter came. It wasn't signed, but Narcissa could guess who it came from.

 _"_ _Dear Cissa,_

 _You of all people should know how desperate I am if I come to you for help. I need help Cissa.  
You're the only one I know that doesn't fully believe I'm guilty, Bellatrix has told me. And because of that, you're the only one I trust right now, consider it an honour._

 _Meet me in the shrieking shack, tonight at 1 am._

 _Please."_

Narcissa came. 15 minutes before 1, she changed into her animagus form, a leopard. Through the shadows she ran across Hogsmeade until she reached the old house. Carefully, she looked inside, to see indeed her cousin standing there. Sirius.

When she stepped inside, Sirius looked at her confused and took a step back. Narcissa shook her head and changed back.

Sirius' eyes widened and he smiled softly. "You came?"

"Of course." Narcissa whispered, more confidently than she felt. "What is it?"

"Do you believe me guilty?"  
"No, or I wouldn't be here."  
"Why not?"

Narcissa was silent for a moment. Sirius looked at her, almost defensively. "Because James and Lily were your escape. When you ran away from home, they saved you. You'd never betray them, you'd die sooner."

He nodded softly and stepped towards her. "What has happened, since I've been locked up?"

His voice was fragile, he was shivering and too thin, Narcissa noticed. She mentally slapped herself for not bringing something to eat. "A lot, what do you want to know?"

Sirius started to talk, faster now. "How is everyone? How's Remus? How's Andromeda? What about Mcgonagall? And Harry, how is Harry? How are you?"

He had walked closer to Narcissa now, who smiled softly, though a bit taken aback by the many questions. "Remus is okay, he's working with me at Hogwarts. Meda's doing great, Tonks is doing an auror training now and Ted's fine as well, she's happy.

Minerva is more relaxed now that you are not a student anymore, and she's fine. Same as always, you'll see." She smiled at his worry for Harry, and continued. "Harry is in his third year, he's been on the quidditch team since his first year, Gryffindor of course. He's worried about you having escaped, and I'm trying to get Remus to talk to him about James."

Sirius' face lit up and he smiled. "Does he look like James and Lily? What does he know about his parents? Why won't Moony talk to him?" He asked excitedly and Narcissa chuckled. She was tired now, but couldn't just leave Sirius with nothing.

"He looks exactly like James. Same hair, he wears glasses, Remus says he has the same build too. But he has Lils' eyes." She smiled softly. "He doesn't know much, according to Minerva he didn't even know he was a wizard until he got his letter… Remus won't talk to him because he feels like he has to be just Harry's teacher."

The man in front of her shook his head. "He's uncle Moony! Not just a teacher…" he said softly, sighing.

Sirius was silent for a few minutes before he looked up again. "The Weasley boy, youngest one. He's a Gryffindor too right?"

Narcissa nodded slowly, not quite understanding where he was going. "Yes, why?"

"I can't tell you. You're going to try and stop me if you know." Sirius said, starting to walk around the small room. Narcissa frowned.

"Sirius, what are you going to do?" She said with a warning undertone, but Sirius shook his head.

"You'll see, I'll send another note alright?" And without waiting for an answer, he transformed into a large dog and ran. Leaving Narcissa behind, almost more confused than she had been before.

OoO

Narcissa found out just what Sirius had been planning to do only a couple of days later.

She and Remus were walking towards his private rooms, located near the Gryffindor tower. Again, Narcissa was trying to convince him to talk to Harry Potter.

"Remus, doesn't that boy deserve to know about his father? You knew James like none of us did, you are one of the only connections he has to his father. You being his teacher, does not mean you can't help him. It only means you should."

It sounded more like pleading than she had meant to, but she couldn't help it. Narcissa was exhausted, and this was a conversation she was tired of having. Remus sighed. "Then why don't you tell him about his mother?"

Narcissa wanted to reply, but before she could they were forced to stop. In front of them, a large group of students was waiting, whispering anxiously. Remus immediately walked through them as Narcissa followed him. Minerva was standing in front of the portrait, shocked.

And she was right to be shocked, there wasn't much left of the portrait. The fat lady was gone, the painting itself had been ripped to shreds. Narcissa gasped softly and looked at Minerva in shock, Albus arrived as well, and ordered Filch to look for the fat lady.

Immediately after, the students were led to the Great Hall, and Minerva, Narcissa and Remus conjured enough sleeping bags. A first year Gryffindor was crying, and comforted by Minerva. Ginny Weasley was sitting in her sleeping bag, very pale and staring at her hands.

Narcissa was just about to walk towards her, when Fred and George sat down beside her. She smiled at the sight of the three of them, and looked further around the hall.

About ten minutes later, Albus walked towards Minerva and Narcissa. "We have found the fat Lady, she's taken care of." He said slowly.

Remus nodded and asked "Does she know who did this to her?", though he knew. They all knew, and they were right.

"Sirius Black."

OoO

Narcissa was at home, simpy sitting on a sofa in the drawing room. Lucius was sitting next to her, his arms folded around her stomach. She started to cry.

She had no idea why, but she couldn't stop. There was no reason, nothing she could think of that would cause her to break down. But then why couldn't she stop crying?

Lucius turned her around and kissed her forehead. "What's wrong, Cissa?" but Narcissa shrugged and sobbed once. She really didn't know.

"I don't know.. I'm tired… Sirius, I can't talk to Bella.. She d-" Narcissa sobbed again. "Remus has been.. been asking about, about Lily… Everything's just, going wrong." She folded herself in Lucius' arms, burying her face in his robes.

He held her close, not saying anything. Not really knowing what to say, what would help her. She didn't know either.

After a while, the tears stopped, but the feeling didn't leave her. Narcissa didn't move away from her husband, only clutched his robes in her hands. She didn't know how to describe it, she wasn't that sad anymore, but… Empty.

She knew the feeling, having experienced it so many times before. As if she felt nothing, but everything at the same time. She was exhausted and empty, wanted to scream at nobody in particular. It frightened her.

Narcissa needed Lucius now, she always did, but especially now. But she also needed her sisters, both of them. Her bond with Andromeda had grown a lot closer over the years, though not the same as it used to be, but Bella was out of her reach. As long as the ministry had no proof she had nothing to do with Sirius, she wasn't allowed to write Bella.

But Lucius was here, and she could only hope he would always be. He wasn't _the_ solution, not some magical way to fix her. But he was hers, one of the only people she knew could help her. "Please, don't leave… Don't ever leave…" She could only whisper in a hoarse voice, but Lucius nodded and pulled her into his lap.

"Never, my Love. Never."

OoO

 **I will try to get the next chapter up soon, I have a lot of ideas for it so theoretically it should happen, but yeah we'll see. Please please please leave a review if you liked it.**


	24. Lily

**New chapter, I hope you liked it! Thanks for the reviews on last chapter, I loved reading them ^-^**

OoO

 _Cissy,_

 _So that plan didn't go well, sure you noticed. Please meet me at the SS at 10 pm, if you can, bring some food. I'm starving._

 _Me._

Narcissa read it and sighed before burning the small note. She still could not believe how utterly stupid her cousin had been, sure he was a Gryffindor, but he had brains didn't he?

She stood up from behind her desk and looked around the empty office, in the classroom she could hear Remus and Harry talking. Not about James, knowing Remus, but she knew they were practicing the patronus charm.

When Narcissa walked inside the room, Remus looked up with a smile, Harry nodded at her, smiling softly. "How is it going, Mr. Potter?" She asked, sitting down near them.

Harry shrugged. "Can't produce more than a small cloud, still. Professor Lupin says the movement and everything is alright, it's the memory. But I'm not sure what's a good one."

Narcissa looked at Remus, raising an eyebrow. "Has he told you what memory he uses?" Harry and Remus shook their head at the same time. "Figures."

She looked at Harry and continued. "The memory you use does not have to be your happiest memory, it has to be your strongest. Of course it has to be happy, or it won't work, but it has to have more to it than that. A moment you felt deep, strong emotions, or even a thought or something like that."

Harry nodded and she and Remus waited as he thought. After a while he nodded again and took his wand. Narcissa stepped back against the wall when Remus let out the boggart again.

'Expecto patronum!'

It wasn't a full patronus yet, which wasn't what Narcissa nor Remus had expected. But it formed a silver shield, strong enough to chase the dementor back in the trunk. Remus smiled and started to clap, almost laughing. "Amazing, Harry! Truly amazing!"

Harry blushed slightly. He smiled though, and chuckled at Remus' face. Narcissa smiled as well, almost proudly. "What memory did you use, mr. Potter?"

Remus shook his head before Harry could speak. "Call him Harry, Narcissa." But she ignored him and looked at Harry, smiling softly.

"Well.. It's not a memory per se, more, a thought, imagination I guess. I pictured my parents, just, sitting and talking to them, like most kids do with theirs, you know?"

Narcissa nodded softly and looked at Remus, silently demanding him to talk now. She asked again "I understand… Harry, what do you know about your parents?"

It was a stupid thing to ask, of course, but he looked at her curiously. Remus raised an eyebrow at her, but Narcissa didn't pay him any attention. "Well… I know dad was a great quidditch player. I know he owned an invisibility cloak… but that's about it. Hagrid has given me a photo album though, with moving pictures, it's beautiful.

But I only know I have mom's eyes, nothing more." He shrugged slightly. Narcissa poked Remus softly and he spoke up.

"Would you want to know more about them?" Harry looked at him, surprised and slightly confused, but nodded softly. Remus smiled kindly, eyeing Narcissa before continuing. "We, and I mean, Narcissa and I, knew your parents when they were at Hogwarts."

Remus stammered a bit and blushed, but Narcissa saw Harry's surprised, happy eyes. "Y you did?"

Narcissa nodded and replied "Yes, mr. – I mean Harry. If you want to know anything, whatever it is, feel free to come to either of us."

She did her best to make it seem as she was certain, confident, about it. Her voice didn't shake, she didn't stutter and barely even blushed. Remus seemed to not do as well. He said "Though I must say, Narcissa knows a lot more about your mother, as I do about James."

OoO

When she met Sirius later that evening, Narcissa was already tired when she arrived in the shrieking shack. Sirius was already there.

"What were you thinking?" Narcissa asked, almost angry. "Sneaking into the castle, to ruin a portrait? What if they had caught you?"

Sirius shrugged. "I wasn't caught. I can't tell you what I'm trying to do though, not sure if I can trust you yet."

She raised her eyebrows. "If you couldn't trust me, I would be standing here right now with twenty aurors." Sirius sighed and nodded.

"I know, and still. Look, I just needed to get into the Gryffindor common room, but the portrait didn't let me in so I tried to force it open. Okay?" He said, shrugging. "I won't tell you why, though."

Narcissa sighed and leaned against a wall. "Why did I have to come here if you're not telling me anything anyway?"

"Promised your sister to look out for you, when she found out I was leaving she went mad and started to scream, that was one of the things she yelled. To make sure you're okay, and It'd be suicide to ignore her threats, we all know that. So here I am." He said. "Plus, it's nice talking to someone who's not a bird or something."

Narcissa raised her eyebrow. There was more to it, she could read from his face. "And?" She prodded.

"And I kind of, may have, missed you?" Sirius ruffled his hair a bit and shrugged, looking away. Narcissa chuckled softly and walked closer to him. She hugged him and he hugged back, smiling.

OoO

She smiled when she heard his footsteps walk into the room, and turned around when she felt Lucius' arms wrapping around her waist. "I missed you." Narcissa whispered, resting her forehead against his chest.

When not wearing her heels she barely even reached his neck, something Lucius loved to remind her of. "I missed you too." He lifted her up and smiled. "How are you?"

"Tired, as always. Harry's come to ask about her." Narcissa said it as if it was something casual, but she closed her eyes. Lucius nodded softly and sat down on the sofa.

"What did he ask?" He said softly.

Narcissa sighed. "He was nervous, of course. Just, standard things, how I knew her, what she was like, things like that." She closed her eyes and rested her head against Lucius' shoulder. "I can just show you…"

Lucius nodded softly and got up. She smiled softly and took out her wand.

A couple of minutes later, the memory of the conversation with Harry started.

 _Narcissa was sitting behind her desk, grading papers, when she heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in."_

 _The door opened and Harry stepped inside shyly. "Professor? You… You and professor Lupin, said you knew my mother?"_

 _Narcissa stopped her movements and looked up. She nodded softly. "I did, Mr. Potter." She spoke softly. "Did you want to ask something?"_

 _He nodded softly and Narcissa stood up. "We'll go to my rooms, if that's alright with you?" He nodded again._

 _Once inside her rooms, Narcissa sat down on a sofa and Harry took place on the opposite one. She waited patiently until he said something. "Professor Lupin.. Told me something about dad. That they were friends, that dad was an animagus. He said you knew a lot about mom, but Ron said that when you were young your whole family was against muggleborns. So how could that be possible?"_

 _Narcissa nodded softly and looked at him. "Mr. Weasley is correct. But, at the time, it didn't matter. No one knew at the time, that I even knew your mother." Harry's confusion was obvious._

 _"_ _So, you were friends, but in secret?"_

 _Narcissa sighed and shook her head. "It was a secret, yes. But we weren't friends." She closed her eyes, but couldn't figure out a way to say the next sentence in a better way. It was absurd any way. "We were in love."_

She stopped the memory, closing her eyes and leaning back against Lucius, who held her closely. "I didn't know how to say it otherwise…" She whispered softly.

"What about, 'Well, Mr. Potter, it's safe to say I have slept with your mother more often than your father has.'?" Lucius said, before ducking to avoid Narcissa's elbow.

"Funny."  
"I'm sorry love."

Lucius kissed her forehead. "What did he say?" He asked, lifting Narcissa onto his lap.

"He was shocked, I assume. Then he asked more questions, about Lily, and as to why we broke up. About what she thought of James, of course as well." She sighed. "But I was just too tired, so he'll be coming to my office tomorrow night. I'll show him a few memories."

Her memories of her schooldays were at the Manor, she had put a lot of them in small vials many years ago, expecting to never view them again. Many of them, were of Lily. "But I have no idea which ones."

Lucius nodded softly and stroked her hair. "Which ones do you definitely want to show?"

"One where she's talking about James and Severus, I think. A couple of things that show her, the weird things she did." She said softly. Narcissa looked at her husband, trying to see if he was uncomfortable talking about this, but she didn't think so.

Lucius smiled softly. "Like what?"

She chuckled softly before starting. "For example, she was very allergic to lemons, but ever since she accidentally ate a lemon cupcake, she fell in love with their taste. Therefore, every time we went down to the kitchen, she would take a potion against her allergies, eat as many cupcake as she could and then drink the potion."

Lucius looked at her and his eyes widened. "You can't possibly be serious Cissa." But Narcissa nodded, she most definitely was. The memory made her smile.

"You still miss her, don't you?"

He didn't sound hurt, like Narcissa had expected with a question like that, more concerned. She sighed and shook her head, barely noticeable. "I wouldn't call it missing… I haven't done that in a very long time. Just… Talking about her like this, it brings back memories."

Lucius waited a moment to speak again. "You need to talk about her more often. Cissa, I know you, and I can see that you have not even mourned her fully yet." Narcissa looked at him, shaking her head, but she could see there was more he wanted to say.

"Don't shake your head. I saw you after she died Narcissa." His voice started to sound almost frustrated, desperate. "I saw you break down after you read the newspaper, and I know enough about mourning that you can not do it in a night and then appear to be perfectly fine again."

She didn't speak, but shook her head softly. It wasn't true. "That's not.. I don't need to.." But she was cut off.

"You do. Your reaction to her death was putting the memories of her in vials and pretend it never happened. The reason you seemed okay was because you had almost completely forgotten about her."

Lucius took a deep breath, she could see tears welling up in his eyes. "And bringing back all of those memories by talking to that boy, showing him memories, will make you remember everything about her. And I don't want to know what would happen if you went through that alone."

It was silent as Narcissa watched how one tear escaped his eye. "D don't cry… I'm sorry. I had no idea.. I…" But she stopped.

Narcissa had no idea what to say, didn't even know what to feel. She knew Lucius was right. After hearing of Lily's death, she had sobbed for hours in the drawing room, clutching a necklace she had once been given from her.

Afterwards, she had been too scared to show more weaknesses, too scared of someone seeing her mourning and finding out, and not wanting to let anyone know about her pain.

So she had taken her memories. Almost all of them, but two. Just enough to not make her forget all about Lily, but more than enough to stop her death from hurting. Lily just seemed like a friend of a friend she had met once or twice on a party.

And she knew Lucius was right about her reaction now as well. Narcissa still had trouble showing her weaknesses, and she had to admit this was a very important one. And she knew that if it wasn't for Lucius saying this now, she would have kept it to herself again.

But she had had no idea what it had done to Lucius. How scared he was for her over this. Narcissa had expected him to not want to hear anything about Lily, expected him to think of it as a disgrace to their family.

But he had proved her wrong.

Lucius spoke again, it was clearly visible this was something he had wanted to say a long time ago already. Narcissa saw he was crying softly now. "Please, Cissa. Let me help you. I can't lose you."

I can't lose you.

His eyes revealed he was truly scared, and Narcissa understood. That's what he had always been afraid of, and what she had always failed to see.

Lucius was terrified one day it would become too much for her.

Her own voice was shaking as well when she shook her head. "You'll never lose me… I promise Lucius."

She caressed his cheek and moved closer to him, reaching up to kiss his forehead and then his lips. "You'll never lose me. Never."

Narcissa meant those words more than anything. She only hoped Lucius believed her.

"Never."

OoO

 **So the end actually became more sad than I had expected it to be when I started, but okay. Please leave a review if you liked it, I got quite a lot last chapter and it gives so much motivation!**


	25. Minerva

**So only two weeks since the last update, I think I'm improving. Anyway, I hope you like it, and if you do please leave a review?**

OoO

Narcissa had watched the memory before Harry came, making sure it was the right one, and to make sure it would be appropriate to show him.

A memory where Lily had talked about James, how annoying he was mostly. She had also taken a memory of Lily and James' wedding.

A couple of minutes before the time they had set, eight pm, Narcissa heard a soft knock on the door. She breathed in deeply and called him in. "Good evening, Harry."

"Good evening, professor." He said softly, as he closed the door behind him and walked towards her desk.

She smiled kindly "Shall we go to my rooms? It'll be much more comfortable." She stood up and Harry nodded, following her into the room.

Narcissa sat down on a sofa, in front of the already positioned pensieve. Harry sat down next to her, shifting nervously. "Are you alright, Harry?" She spoke softly, looking at him with concern.

He nodded. "Yes. Just nervous. I've really only seen pictures of her…"

"I understand." Narcissa said "I'm going to show you two memories. One where your mother is sixteen, talking about your father. And one of their wedding. If, during a memory, you want to stop, just tell me alright?"

He nodded again, though a bit confused. "You were at their wedding? Wouldn't that be.. I don't know, painful or something?" But she shrugged slightly.

"All the purebloods were. The Potters were important, and so was their wedding. And yes, you'll see."

She sighed softly and turned to the pensieve. "Just lean forward and touch the fluid with your face, you'll experience the memory as if you were there, but no one can see or hear you." She said, gesturing Harry to do so.

Right after, Narcissa took a deep breath and did the same.

 _There they were. Sixteen-year-old Lily Evans and seventeen-year-old Narcissa Black, laying on a thick blanket in the room of requirement. They were looking at each other, deep in conversation._

 _"_ _But Lils, I'll be married after this year. As soon as I'm graduated, my parents have arranged me to marry Malfoy, you know that." The blonde girl said, shifting onto her back. "What are you going to do?"_

 _Lily answered. "I might give Potter a chance, who knows?" and Narcissa sat up laughing, her eyebrows raised._

 _"_ _James Potter? You and that arrogant git?" She chuckled and Lily nodded in an attempt to look as if she were serious._

 _"_ _He's not half as arrogant as you are, Narcissa Black. Maybe I'll even-" But she was interrupted by her own laughter. "Not for a thousand galleons."_

It seemed so unreal, and it made Narcissa tear up. The two of them talking like that, she had forgotten.

Next to her, Harry seemed to look confused, but also fascinated. She stayed silent.

 _Lily sat up as well. "Or I can become a whore, and start working for you and your husband." She chuckled._

 _"_ _My parents would kill the three of us, without thinking twice about it." Narcissa sighed, shivering slightly. Lily moved closer to her._

 _"_ _Maybe not that plan then. What about me becoming an animagus, and you buying a red horse?"_

 _Narcissa laughed. "Your plans are becoming sillier every minute aren't they?"_

A few minutes of the memory were skipped.

 _Both had red tinted cheeks now, though it was more obvious with Narcissa's pale skin._

 _"_ _You do have to go on one date with Potter though."_

 _Lily raised her eyebrows. "You're trying to get rid of me, Black?" She grinned._

 _The blonde rolled her eyes and chuckled. "No, but how else will you see my wedding? I want you there."_

 _"_ _You really are setting me up." Lily huffed, crossing her arms. "But alright. Just know that I hate you for this."_

 _Narcissa nodded. "I know, I know."_

 _"_ _He still believes I'll come around one day, the idiot. It's not like I've ever gave one sign of being interested in him, ever!" Lily sighed, curling up against Narcissa. "How many times does one have to tell a guy to fuck himself, before he gets it?"_

 _They chuckled. "A lot of times, when talking about guys like him."_

When Narcissa and Harry were sitting on the sofa again, she was shaking softly but shook her head. She looked at Harry. "Are you okay?"

He looked confused, very confused. "Yeah." He said, shrugging.

"You can ask things, Harry. Anything you want to know, ask." She said kindly, and he nodded.

"She hated him. Then why did she marry him? Why did she even have to marry someone else? Why did you?" He rambled, Narcissa could barely make out all questions.

She nodded softly. "Well… She hated him yes, back then. At the time he had had a crush on her since forever, and didn't want to leave her alone. After going to my wedding together, they started dating and fell in love along the way. She really loved him when they married, otherwise she wouldn't have done it.

I married Lucius because I had an arranged marriage, as had all purebloods back then."

She sighed, closing her eyes for a while. She didn't notice Harry's worried look. "Do you want to watch a part of their wedding? Or save if for perhaps another time?"

"No, no now is good." Harry said, smiling now.

 _The wedding ceremony was beautiful._

 _The hall was filled with people, sitting on either side of the church. The purebloods truly had no idea which side was for who._

 _Emmeline Vance and Marlene Mckinnon stood in the front of the church, wearing similar bridesmaid dresses. James, with his best man Sirius, were standing at the other side._

 _A piano started to play as the doors opened and everyone looked at her, Lily Evans, in a stunning white dress. James smiled brighter than ever before, looking at Lily with tears of happiness in his eyes._

 _Narcissa saw herself sitting next to Lucius, and recognized her face. Trying her hardest not to cry._

 _Lily smiled too, her eyes looking directly at James as she walked quicker and quicker towards the altar._

 _Their vows were cloudy, as Narcissa hadn't paid attention to the words._

 _After the ceremony, James and Lily walked around the hall. James with his arm draped around Lily's waist, smiling brightly. They were being congratulated by all the guests._

 _Lucius and Narcissa walked towards them as well, both wearing a confident, almost arrogant, smile. Lucius said "Congratulations, Mr. Potter. And of course you, Mrs. Potter." He smiled, politely kissing Lily's hand._

 _Narcissa said the same words, and was kissed on the hand by James. She then turned to Lily. "If of course, your husband wouldn't mind, could I talk to you after you're done taking in congratulations?"_

 _Lily and James both nodded and James chuckled. "As if she would need my approval for that." He smiled, kissing Lily's cheek._

 _The memory skipped, and now it was just Lily and Narcissa in an abandoned hallway._

 _"_ _How are you? How does he treat you? God I missed you Cissy!" Lily whispered, hugging Narcissa tightly._

 _Narcissa hugged back and nodded softly. "I'm fine, Lucius is fine. A lot better than expected, honestly. And I missed you too Lils… So much. How are you?"_

 _They both had tears in the corner of their eyes. "I'm okay… I'm married. I can't believe I'm married!" Lily whispered louder. "But… I love him Cissy. I love him."_

 _"_ _James Potter of all people. What happened to 'not for thousand galleons'?" Narcissa whispered, chuckling softly._

 _Lily laughed. "He gave me two thousand and I was sold."_

 _They laughed together and Lily hugged her tight. Narcissa sighed and looked at her. "How inappropriate is it to kiss the bride on her wedding?"_

 _Lily chuckled. "Very inappropriate. But a nice offer." She said, leaning in slowly._

Narcissa blushed. She had completely forgotten to skip this part of the memory. From the corner of her eye she looked at Harry, who looked very awkward.

 _When Narcissa pulled back slowly, she had tears on her face. "You love him, right?"_

 _"_ _Yes… And I love you. I'm in love with both of you and I didn't even know that was possible but here I am and I love you so much but I also love him and I'm married to him and I'm happy but I love you too and I-" Lily rambled before being cut off by Narcissa._

 _"_ _Lils, stop. It's okay. You love him, don't you?" Lily nodded. "And he loves you?" Lily nodded again. "You're truly happy?" Another nod._

 _"_ _You and James are in love. He makes you happy, and that's what's important."_

 _Lily nodded softly. "I love him. I love you."_

 _"_ _I love you too." Narcissa said softly. "Goodbye, Evans."_

 _"_ _Goodbye, Black."_

 _There was another short scene of James and Lily dancing together, happily talking and laughing, before the memory stopped._

Narcissa didn't speak. She blinked quickly in an attempt to remove the upwelling tears. Harry looked at her, smiling sadly.

"Thank you.. Professor." He said softly. "She really loved dad, didn't she?" Narcissa nodded.

"She really loved him. And she really loved you."

Harry smiled shyly. "But how can you love two people at the same time?"

Narcissa looked at him, glad he at least asked questions now. "Lots of people can. Lily always loved a lot, it was no surprise she loved multiple people."

They talked a short while longer, and then he said goodbye. "And… Thank you for showing me this professor. Really. Thank you."

OoO

It had been Dora's idea, really. Inviting everyone over for dinner.

With everyone, meaning Dora, Meda, Ted, Minerva, Remus, of course Narcissa, Lucius and Draco with Daphne, Tracey and Pansy, Alicia with Devika and she had even invited Charlie.

The elves had been working in the kitchen all day. If Narcissa was going to invite people over, she would do it well.

She was now in her and Lucius' bedroom, standing in front of a full length mirror. She was wearing a deep blue dress, her hair was curled. It was only the glamours.

Narcissa kept putting them on and off, she never wore them around the house but it was different, with so many people coming over.

She gasped softly and flinched when two hands were put on her shoulders, followed by a quick "I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to frighten you" and a kiss on her hair.

Lucius wrapped his arms around her, looking over her shoulder at the mirror. "You don't have to wear them Cissa. Trust me." She shook her head softly but Lucius continued.

"Everyone but maybe five people have already seen them, and don't care about the ones that haven't yet. They hurt you Cissa, and it's horrible enough you feel like you have to wear them when you're not here."

Narcissa turned around and hugged him, nodding softly. "You're beautiful, don't worry about others." He whispered as she looked up to him before lifting her up carefully to kiss her.

She instantly deepened the kiss, laying her arms around Lucius' neck. His hands were on her lower back and she could feel him breathing faster.

Lucius put her down, not ending the kiss but instead sat down on the bed, pulling her closer again. She cupped his face with her hands, almost pushing him down.

His hands zipped open her dress and Narcissa opened her eyes, resting her forehead against his. She breathed heavily and sighed "No… Guests will come within ten minutes from now, we can't…"

Lucius kissed her again, but pulled away now. "Too bad." He got up, lifting her in his arms and kissing her shortly.

She shook her head softly and sighed. "Lucius… Guests." He pouted and she chuckled. Lucius put her on the ground again, chuckling too.

Just as he had zipped up her dress again, and she had reapplied her lipstick, an elf popped into the room. "Master, Mistress, Mrs. Tonks and her family are here." Narcissa nodded and send it away again, turning to Lucius.

"See?" She smirked as he rolled his eyes. They walked downstairs, Lucius' arm protectively around her waist.

Downstairs, she hugged Andromeda and kissed her cheek. Ted looked at her with an awkward smile, and Dora started to laugh. "See mom? Told you it was no use putting on those glamours."

Narcissa chuckled as her sister blushed and took her wand. "I couldn't decide, spend ages in front of the mirror."

Next to her, Lucius chuckled. "You're not the only one." Making Narcissa blush too. Ted laughed.

"When will the others come?"  
"I expect them here any minute now."

She hadn't finished the sentence or a patronus appeared in the middle of the room. A silver cat. "Narcissa, me, Draco, ms. Parkinson, Greengrass and Davids will be coming by floo right now."

Narcissa smiled, happy with the warning, and a few seconds later Draco appeared in the fireplace, quickly followed by the three girls and at last Minerva.

She hugged Minerva and kissed her cheek as well, smiling. Tracey and Pansy looked at her in shock. "Mrs… Mrs. Malfoy… You're..-" Pansy stuttered.

"Yes, she's not wearing glamours. Big deal." Daphne cut her off, shrugging.

Pansy looked down. "I didn't mean it like that! I just never saw it before.. Sorry." She blushed and Daphne hugged her.

Narcissa smiled softly. "It's fine Pansy, I know it's quite shocking to see." She looked at the two girls, and raised her eyebrows questioningly at Draco and Tracey, who chuckled silently but shook their head.

When Remus and Charlie arrived and Alicia and Devika finally came downstairs, the elves were called to serve the first course.

The whole table was filled with food and everyone talked. Tracey and Daphne asked Remus and her about what they would do for valentines day.

"You know, all teachers are going to do something in their lessons, usually. What are you planning?"

Narcissa and Remus looked at each other, shrugging. "Tracey, if you can find something that has to do with the dark arts, and is not a lovepotion, tell us. We have no idea."

The girl shrugged, but Devika spoke up. "In India we have a spell, it's not really harmful or anything though. More very humiliating, if used right."

Alicia nodded, smiling at her as she continued. "You cast the spell at someone, and think of something. A moment in their life, for example their first kiss. Then the spell makes up a song fitting that moment, and displays all memories fitting with that one song, making some sort of music video."

Narcissa raised her eyebrow. "I've never heard of a spell like that, but it sounds great for a lesson like that, I think Remus?" He nodded.

"If Devika would be so kind to teach us, of course." He said, smiling politely at the woman.

Alicia smirked. "She could demonstrate." She looked at Narcissa daringly. "Right, mom?" Narcissa sighed, shaking her head chuckling.

"That would depend on what she is planning to do dear."

Remus looked surprised. "Alicia is your daughter?"

She laughed and nodded, as did Alicia. "I am, yes." She said smiling. "What did you think?"

"I just assumed you were a family friend…" He blushed and looked down awkwardly, but Alicia shrugged.

"Seems logical, but yes I'm their daughter. Adopted, obviously, I mean look at my parents. They're like blonde vampires." Lucius raised his eyebrow and Draco huffed. "No offense Draco. But it would be impossible for them to have a black daughter." She chuckled. "Nonetheless, I'm Alicia Malfoy."

After dinner, Lucius got up and walked into the garden to feed the peacocks. Narcissa chuckled and sat down on the sofa, next to Minerva. She smiled when the woman put an arm around her and snuggled closer.

Pansy and Tracey looked at them a bit weird. "It's so awkward to see your professors like this, honestly." Pansy said, chuckling.

"Exactly, but from Malfoy you're used to it. I mean, have you seen her with her husband?" Tracey laughed, looking at Narcissa. She blushed slightly but chuckled as well.

Remus walked towards them, raising his eyebrows. "But it's different at boarding schools. You see your teachers more often than your parents don't you?" The girls shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess."  
"But Professor, how did you get those? Mrs. Tonks has almost the same ones, but less…"

Narcissa froze for a moment, then she moved closer to Minerva, who hugged her protectively. "It's not important Pansy…" She said softly, as Minerva kissed the top of her head.

The girl nodded slowly, raising her eyebrows, looking from Minerva to her. Narcissa shrugged, not understanding what she meant.

When Lucius walked back inside, he looked at Narcissa with raised eyebrows, but smiled. She looked back confused.

He sat down next to Alicia, watching her curiously.

OoO

When everyone started to leave, Narcissa and Lucius both got up to say goodbye. Alicia and Devika went upstairs again; Remus flooed back to Hogwarts, taking Draco and the three girls with him; Andromeda hugged her goodbye and then apparated with Dora and ted.

At last Narcissa hugged Minerva, smiling when the woman kissed her cheek before stepping into the floo.

Lucius raised his eyebrows again and sat down on a sofa. This time Narcissa sighed while sitting down next to him "What is it? People keep doing that today."

He shrugged. "You and Minerva." He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. Narcissa didn't see him at a loss of words often.

"What do you mean?"

Lucius sighed, taking her hands in his. "How do you feel about her?" He asked quietly. Narcissa looked at him confused.

"She's my friend, obviously, but why?"  
"Narcissa that's not just friendship. Sitting cuddled up on a sofa like that… That's more."

She shook her head. She had absolutely no idea where he was talking about. "What do you mean? I guess I'm a lot closer to Minerva than most of my friends, but not… Not like that!"

Lucius held her close. "How many of your friends do you kiss on their cheek? With how many of them do you sleep in their bed after you've had a nightmare?" He didn't sound angry, but like he was explaining something to a child.

"None, just you and Minerva, of course." She said, as if it was logical. "But that doesn't mean I'm.. In love with her or something." She looked at him, shrugging.

"You're not?" She couldn't believe he sounded almost surprised to hear that.

"No of course not. I just.. Don't know." Narcissa sighed. "I like it when we cuddle, or when she hugs me. I like it when she kisses my cheek or forehead, something like that. But no, I know I'm not in love with her."

He nodded softly, thinking deeply. "You're not in love with her, but it's obviously more than just friendship… Even you should see that."

"Perhaps…" Narcissa whispered, blushing. "I- I'm sorry…" She looked down at her lap, blinking furiously.

Lucius shook his head and pulled her closer. "Don't be sorry love." He kissed her cheek and she curled up. "What are you going to do?"

She honestly didn't know. Narcissa looked up at him "I don't know… I just-" she sighed "I don't know."

She shifted, now laying with her head in his lap. "Do you… Are you mad?" But Lucius shook his head immediately.

"Of course not love… How could I be? I just, don't really understand, I think." He said softly, stroking her hair. "But of course I'm not mad."

Narcissa nodded softly, closing her eyes and smiling softly. She wasn't fully convinced yet, however. "I really love you, you know that right?... I'm in love with you."

He didn't answer and she sat up. "Lucius…"

"What's the difference?" He whispered, continuing to stroke her hair. "Between what you feel for her, and for me?"

Narcissa closed her eyes again, trying to think of an answer. She moved closer to Lucius, shifting onto his lap. "I guess… I'm in love with you. I want to be in a relationship with you, I want to be with you in every way possible. I love you, and I'm in love with you.

And, I'm not in love with Minerva. I don't want a sexual or romantic relationship with her, but I also don't want to be 'just friends'. If that makes any sense…" It didn't, at least not in her mind, but Lucius nodded softly.

"I think it does. I mean… She's always been there for you, like your sisters used to be. She was there whenever you had a nightmare and I was away, to help wherever possible at Hogwarts. I think it's… Only logical you feel a closer connection to her, isn't it?"

Narcissa looked at him curiously, but nodded. "I think so, if you explain it that way…"

"You should talk to Minerva tomorrow. And, I love you, Cissa. I love you." Lucius whispered and he kissed her forehead.

"I will" she whispered back, resting her forehead against his "and I love you too. I really, really do Lucius… So much."

He smiled and kissed her, pulling her closer. "I know love. I know."

OoO

 **So, that's actually something me and my girlfriend have been obsessing over. Meaning I obsessed over it while she patiently listened. Soo, please leave a review behind if you liked it?**


	26. Visit to father

**This chapter was written so quickly. I'm at my grandparents and suddenly have all the time in the world, and so much inspiration. (As in, I wrote a scene of the end of final battle, I don't know why, that's not gonna happen for at least 8-9 chapter probably) But don't get used to it, I'm not going to be able to keep that up.**

OoO

Narcissa paid more attention the week after her and Lucius' conversation. She could see what he meant now, she thought.

Maybe it wasn't all that normal to hold her hand when walking together, to kiss her forehead when she was feeling stressed or to cuddle with her on the sofa in her rooms at Hogwarts. Maybe.

She sighed, resting her head in her hands. Narcissa gasped and turned around quickly with wide eyes when she heard someone stepping out of the fireplace.

"Oh, I completely forgot to warn you! Sorry mom!" Alicia yelled immediately, stepping into the room. "But I have amazing news!"

Her voice was shaking with excitement and Narcissa laughed, walking towards her daughter. "What is it dear?"

Instead of answering, Alicia held up her hand. It was shaking a bit, but the reason was obvious none the less. A silver ring with a bright, deep red ruby. Narcissa gasped softly, taking her hand. "You're not saying…"

"I am saying!" Alicia squealed. "I'm engaged!"

She hugged her tight. "Congratulations!" She brought out. "I can't believe it… I can't believe it. My daughter's getting married!"

Alicia chuckled and nodded enthusiastically. "Me neither mom! I'm actually engaged!"

The rest of the evening she listened to a detailed retelling of the proposal, almost crying of happiness and Alicia making up plans, of which many were very much impossible, for the wedding.

"You and dad are going to sing."

Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "We are?" Alicia nodded, smiling.

"Yes, pick out a song, you two are both going to sing after the ceremony." She smirked. "I know you can sing, and you are going to."

OoO

"Have you talked to Minerva?" Lucius asked when they were lying in bed later that night.

She nodded softly, changing her position to look at him. "Yes…" Narcissa lay down half on top of his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. "She told me about how it was with her husband.

She said it was exactly like that. They didn't have anything romantic or sexual, neither wanted to, but they were still committed to each other. Like a platonic relationship."

Lucius nodded, stroking her hair slowly. "And, that is what you want with her?" He asked quietly, sounding a bit nervous.

She stayed silent. Thinking about her answer, what would happen if she said yes or no. Narcissa closed her eyes as she started to breath faster. Lucius sat up and held her close, stroking her back comfortingly. "It's okay Cissa, whatever you say, it's okay. Shh.. Don't worry love…"

"I- I think I do…" She whispered, looking at her husband with unsure eyes. "Is that bad?"

Lucius shook his head and kissed her softly. "It's not, love." He smiled at her kindly. "It's really not, and if you want to… Then you should."

Her eyes widened slightly and she looked at him. "A- are you serious?" He nodded.

"I know I make you happy, and so does she. God knows you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I'm not going to take this away from you." He whispered, close enough to her that she could feel his breath on her face.

"I trust you, and I love you. If you want to have something like that with Minerva, then do it. As long as I know you're in love with me, it's okay…"

She smiled slightly and hugged Lucius tight. "Thank you…" She breathed. "And of course I'm in love with you. I have been for the past 18 years!"

He smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear." Narcissa was sitting in his lap and shifted so that she had one leg on either side of him. Without hesitation he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her deeply.

She let out a startled squeal but didn't move away, instead biting down on his bottom lip. Lucius pushed her onto her back, not breaking the kiss as he practically fell on top of her.

Narcissa gasped softly and tightly held a handful of his hair. Lucius, understanding the message, rolled off of her before kissing her once more.

OoO

Narcissa was nervous, just a bit, but nervous when she knocked on Minerva's office door the following day. She smiled, however, when the door was opened and Minerva smiled back at her, kissing her cheek before leading her inside.

"Good morning, Narcissa." She said softly, sitting down on the sofa in her rooms. "How are you?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. Very good, actually." She answered, cuddling up against Minerva. The woman smiled as she put an arm around her.

"I take you have talked to Lucius?"

Narcissa nodded. "I told him what you told me before, and… He's actually very okay with it." She looked into her lap, smiling to herself.

Minerva smiled as well, shifting at bit and placing both her hands on Narcissa's stomach. "I'm glad." She took both of Narcissa's hands. "And now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Draco for example. It must be at least a bit weird for him." She started. "What about the school?"

Oh of course. There was that.

She sighed and leaned back against Minerva. "I have no idea. It's not like, we should hide it.. Right?" She wasn't sure, but breakfast would start in about half an hour, they'd have to think of it.

"Of course not, that never. But the difference between telling everyone, and just letting them see by acting normal, can be a big one."

"Then we just show them." Narcissa said, turning her head to smile at her. "Let them figure it out."

That was how they walked into the great hall later that morning. Holding each other's hand, deep in conversation.

From the corner of her eye she could see a couple of students looking curiously at them, whispering to their friends. Albus looked at them with twinkling eyes. Narcissa smiled, enjoying the attention.

She mouthed 'later' to Draco when he looked at her a bit unsure, knowing they both had a free period after the first lesson.

Narcissa already smiled at herself before even getting up to leave the hall. She felt her heart beating faster but simply smiled as she got up, leaned forward to kiss Minerva's cheek and walked out confidently.

She smirked when the soft whispers became much louder suddenly, but pretended not to notice.

OoO

Draco didn't come during his free period, during her lessons not many students asked, but they all whispered and looked at her with curiosity.

When she sat down at the staff table, Minerva wasn't there yet. She looked around the hall, and saw Draco turning away. Narcissa sighed.

When Minerva walked into the hall, she noticed it became a bit quieter. Narcissa held back a chuckle, but smiled when kissed the top of her head before sitting down next to her.

"Have you talked to Draco?" Narcissa shook her head.

"Not yet, I don't think he wants to. I'll try to talk to him this afternoon, he's in my last class today." She answered.

Before Minerva had a chance to answer, an owl flew into the hall, carrying a red envelope. Narcissa's eyes widened when the bird flew straight towards her. "It can't be…" She whispered, her voice filled with disbelief.

But it was. The howler came from Azkaban, it was the only option. And she was right.

 _"_ _Cissy!_

 _Finally these fuckers let me send howlers again, it gets so fucking boring in here. And then fucking Sirius escapes WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING TAKING ME WITH HIM THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!_

 _How are you? Please write to me again, I miss you so goddamn much. How's the new teacher who helps you? Say hello to Mcgonagall! Wait she's next to you right? HEY MCGONAGALL!_

 _I miss you so much Cissy… I can't fucking stand this anymore, I've seen you ONCE in the past 12 years, and I just can't. I can't Cissy, I can't I can't I can't!"_

Narcissa shivered when her sister's sobs sounded through the hall.

 _"_ _I don't fucking care about the dementors, yeah I've been seeing dad almost non stop for the past 12 years but who the fuck cares? I want to see you again Cissy, but these fuckers don't trust me enough to have visitors, as if they know me._

 _I want to hug you again, I just want to fucking hug you again and I want to talk to you without yelling into a damn letter and just hear your voice and have fun together but I'm just here because these fucking aurors don't want to let me go._

 _-You're there prisoner Bellatrix, it would be a bit dumb to just let you go._

 _No one asked your fucking opinion Rodolphus, shut the fuck up and leave me alone!_

 _Cissy… I miss you and I love and please write a really long letter and I want to know what happened with everyone. Is Alicia still with that Indian girl? How are Draco and Lucius? How's the Indian girl? I've gotten to the point I even want you to tell me about fucking Meda!_

 _I love you Cissy.. Bye!"_

Narcissa stared at the ashes of the burned paper as tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked them away and felt Minerva taking her hand under the table.

She squeezed it, smiling softly at her.

She couldn't believe it. During the past few months, she had missed hearing from Bella horribly, and she had not at all expected a letter to come after all this time.

But the way Bella had sounded, the sobbing and broken voice Narcissa remembered from when they lived at home.

She shivered. She had no idea how Bella was still alive, after all those years, but it was clear Azkaban was slowly breaking her sister.

Sure, Bellatrix had been broken before. But there was only so much one human being could handle, and Narcissa was terrified of what would happen when her sister would reach that limit.

OoO

She didn't need to call for Draco after the lesson, he waited for everyone to leave, looking rather angry.

When the other students were gone, Remus smiled at her and waved goodbye before leaving the room. Draco immediately said "What are you doing?"

Narcissa stood up from her desk. "I think it's better to talk in my rooms, or at home." She said in a soft, demanding tone. He ignored her.

"What are you doing with Mcgonagall?!" He said louder, sounding almost betrayed.

She sighed, she didn't even know the words for it, how could she explain it to Draco? "Calm down, Draco. I'm sort of dating her, but not actually dating her. How weird that may sound."

He looked at her with raised eyebrows, angry now. "How could you do that to dad?!" He practically yelled, and Narcissa flinched slightly.

"Calm. Down. Draco." She whispered, sighing. "I'm not doing anything to hurt dad, trust me. He knows, and he's fine with it."

Draco looked at her, angry still. "That's rubbish, why the fuck would he be?" he spat.

Narcissa took her wand and send a patronus to Lucius. "Language, Draco. And lower your voice. Dad will come here, talk to him instead of yelling at me." She snapped quietly.

It felt weak, still, to have to demand that of the people around her. But she couldn't stand it when people yelled at her, not in an angry way. Draco sighed softly but apologized, rolling his eyes.

A couple of silent minutes later, Lucius stepped out of the fireplace. He hugged Narcissa and kissed her lips shortly. "What's wrong, love?"

She smiled softly and stood on her toes to kiss him in return and then looked at Draco. "Draco's angry because he seems to be thinking I'm cheating on you." She said, sounding a bit annoyed, she noticed.

Lucius nodded and turned to their son. "She's not Draco, I know about her and Minerva. And I'm okay with it, and it doesn't change anything between us, nor you." He smiled kindly, and Draco looked at him skeptically.

"Why would you be okay with mom fucking someone else?"

Narcissa closed her eyes. "I'm not. Draco."

"You just said so!" but he didn't sound angry anymore, it was more confusion now.

"Both of you, calm down alright?" Lucius shushed them. "Draco, stop yelling at your mother, you know that." He warned first, and Draco looked down. "Now, Narcissa and Minerva are in a different kind of relationship, without any romantic or sexual feelings. Do you understand?"

Draco looked a bit confused still, but nodded. "I guess… So, you'll stay together, right?"

She and Lucius walked towards him at the same time. "Of course, Draco. Always." Lucius sat kindly, hugging his son.

"Good."

OoO

"You almost killed a thirteen year old boy, or at least made it seem like that, sneaked into the castle again, into the Gryffindor common room where everyone could have found you, to kill a rat?!"

Narcissa couldn't believe what she was hearing, but Sirius nodded. "That's about it, yes. I have my reasons Cissa."

She shook her head. "You're an idiot, Sirius Black. What's next? Kidnapping Weasley to get to his pet?"

"It's important, alright. How's Harry and Moony? How are you?" he asked. Sitting down against a wall of the shrieking shack. Narcissa carefully sat down next to him.

She yawned before answering. "Harry is fine, was caught in Hogsmeade without permission, thinks you're out to kill him and that's why he isn't allowed there. He found out you're his godfather, which made him only angrier at you.

Remus is just fine, his lycanthropy is wearing him off still, of course, but he's okay. We've been telling Harry about his parents." She smiled softly.

"And I'm fine. I've started to sort of date Minerva, Alicia is engaged, Bella is finally allowed to write me again. Except for still being tired and feeling like I'm about to have a breakdown most of the time, I'm okay."

Sirius widened his eyes. "Hold on there. You and Mcgonagall, dating? Tell me more. Your daughter's engaged to the Indian girl? Congratulate them from uncle Sirius. What did our dear Bella say about me?" He chuckled a bit but managed to look serious none the less.

She started "Yes, sort of. I'm not sure what it's called, but yes. Only since a few days officially. And yes, Devika proposed to her a few days ago, she's very excited and no I won't congratulate them for you. And nothing you need to hear, but she's breaking down. Azkaban's messing her up even more."

Narcissa closed her eyes and he hugged her. "She'll be fine, but I've seen her in that place. She screams a lot in her sleep, sometimes when she's awake and has some sort of flashback too." He said softly, sighing. "That's probably not helping, sorry."

"It's okay, I'm just tired." She shrugged. "I'm heading back, you make sure they don't catch you. And please try not to kill one of my students."

OoO

"Are you sure you want to do this, Meda?"

Narcissa and Andromeda stood in front of their father's hospital room. The latter was shaking noticeably, but nodded. "Yes."

She hadn't visited him in over ten years, and to be quite honest, she had intended for it to stay that way. But she understood why her sister would want to.

Inside the room, a nurse was checking up on him. Narcissa cursed under her breath, but smiled at the witch.

"Oh, Mrs. Malfoy! Mrs. Tonks! I hadn't expected you here." She said in a too exciting voice. "We have such good news, but I think I completely forgot to owl it to you! The curse he was put under was a very strong one, but it's finally wearing off!"

Both sisters froze. Narcissa was the first to find her voice back. "You mean; h he's getting… Better?" She tried to sound hopeful, tried to hide the fear that had taken her over.

The witch nodded, looking at her curiously. "That's a good thing, right miss?"

"Yes, yes of course! We're just, a bit shocked to hear this. After all those years, you almost stop thinking it will ever become better, you know?" Andromeda said quickly.

"Ah, of course. Well, talk to him, it can't do any harm. And don't worry, in the beginning someone kept cursing him again, but we ensured that can't happen again. Your father is in good hands." She smiled, before finishing up and walking outside again.

Next to her, Andromeda was crying. Narcissa hugged her tightly as tears fell down her own face as well. "She can't… Can't be serious, right?" she said with a shaking voice.

Meda shook her head. "It can't be," she whispered.

Both of them turned to the bed, where Cygnus Black was staring at them with a weird look in his eyes. "Good afternoon ladies."

But Andromeda shook her head again, turning away now. "I'm leaving. Sorry for taking you here Cissa, but I… I can't." She said quietly and left the room.

Narcissa walked towards her father, eyes burning with tears. She looked at him with fear and hatred at once. Scolding herself mentally for being scared of him, even when he was laying here in a hospital bed, completely at her mercy.

"I hate you. And if you dare get out of this hospital, Merlin help you. I don't care what Bella wants, I will kill you before you can even get home." She whispered threating, shaking with fear.

Then she walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

She and Andromeda returned to Malfoy Manor together. To her surprise, Lucius and Minerva were both sitting in the drawing room. They got up at the same time, rushing towards them.

Andromeda shook her head quickly and Narcissa looked at her. "Second floor, first door on the left, I'll be there soon alright?" And she was gone.

Lucius and Minerva hugged her at the same time, and Narcissa smiled weakly as she hugged them back.

"What happened love?" Lucius asked, but she was too tired to explain it all in detail.

"Nurse, she said father's getting better, that he'll get his memory back." She stammered. "Can we, talk tomorrow? I have to go to Meda, she'll stay here tonight… Can one of you owl Ted?" Her voice was weak and she sighed.

They both nodded softly and let her go. Narcissa hugged Minerva tightly and kissed her cheek, then lay her arms around Lucius' neck and kissed him softly. "Goodnight.. Both of you."

Then Narcissa left the room to find her sister.

OoO

 **So, I hope you liked it. I'm probably going to do one more chapter in the third book, go to the fourth where it's just going to be Alicia's wedding and of course Voldemort returning and all the drama that'll come with it. If you have any comments, tips or ideas for the following chapters, please leave them behind in a review!**


	27. Dementors

**So, this went actually quite fast again. But I'm leaving my grandparents tonight so next will probably take a bit longer. Enjoy!**

OoO

Tomorrow, Saturday, would be valentine day. She and Remus had carefully practiced the spell Devika had told them about, and prepared the lesson about it. It had resulted in a hilarious afternoon, filled with embarrassing memories and lots of laughing.

"So, who will be the victim during class?" Remus asked her, grinning.

Narcissa shook her head. "Both of us. What if we let the students try it once on either of us?" she proposed, he nodded.

"As long as they tell us what they're going to do first, of course."  
"Obviously."

When the first class arrived, the tables were all moved to one side of the classroom, leaving the rest of the space empty. "Good morning class, today in order for valentine's day, we'll be practicing a special charm." Narcissa started.

"It's not necessarily a dark spell, but can be very humiliating and revealing. As we have only one lesson, we'll teach you the pronunciation and wand movement, you'll be practicing for half an hour, and then two of you may try the spell on each of us, me and Mr. Lupin."

She chuckled when the students suddenly became a lot more enthusiastic. Next to her, Remus laughed and started to explain the spell.

The following 30 minutes, they heard 7 songs, a lot of laughing and students screaming 'No!'. After that, Remus silenced the class and she started to speak again. "Alright, that went amazing didn't it?" The class nodded, excited for what was to come. "Well then, one of you can use the spell on professor Lupin, and one of you can use it on me.

The only condition is that you tell us what kind of memories you want to see, so we can decide whether or not you're allowed to." She smiled softly as the students started to whisper with excitement. Remus picked two of them and told the rest of the class to form a circle.

First a student stepped towards Remus. "We both want to hear about your first relationship, that's almost always either very humiliating-"

"Or just very adorable." The other student ended and Remus chuckled.

"Alright then, cast it." He said, looking rather nervous besides smiling.

 _'_ _This light at the end of the day,  
When even the highway seems still,  
The map in my hands folded shut.'_  
Narcissa smiled when she saw fourteen year old Sirius Black and Remus Lupin sitting together under a tree.

 _'_ _You're effortless you know you are and all I want to do,  
Is let you lead me off into the dusk._

 _Our shadows kiss before we do and right here in the dark,  
I revel in the calm before the storm.'_  
Remus smiling as he tried to braid Sirius' hair. Them running through the dark Hogwarts' grounds and Sirius jumping on his back, causing both of them to fall and roll down towards the lake. Remus yelling his name as he fell into it. The class chuckled.

When the song ended, Remus was blushing deeply but smiled. "Was that, Sirius Black? Professor?" A student asked carefully, and he nodded.

"Yes, that was him." He sighed, ruffling his hair softly. Narcissa smiled and asked the other student to cast the spell, driving the attention away from Remus. She was nervous, more than she'd like to admit.

 _'_ _Loving her is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street.  
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.'_  
She and Lily, in an open spot in the forbidden forest. Snow in their hair, red cheeks and grinning stupidly at each other.

 _'_ _Loving her is like trying to change your mind,  
once you're already flying through the free fall.  
Like the colours in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all.'_  
Them kissing in one of the quidditch stands at night. Narcissa who whispered "Lils, if someone finds us here, we're dead."

 _'_ _Losing her was blue like I'd never known.'_  
The newspaper announcing Lily's death, her own choked sobs on the background.

 _'_ _Missing her was dark grey all alone.  
Forgetting her was trying to know somebody you've never met.'_  
She, standing in her room, clutching a necklace she once got from Lily, putting her memories in vials.

 _'_ _But loving her was red.'_  
The two of them, dancing in the room of requirement, laughing.

 _'_ _Touching her is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you.'_  
Lily who sat curled up in her lap, almost asleep as Narcissa held her close.

 _'_ _Memorizing her was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favourite song.  
Fighting with her was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer.  
Regretting her was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong.'  
_Lily and her fighting, screaming at each other with tears in their eyes. Two brief scenes of them getting married, to Lucius and James.

 _'_ _Losing her was blue like I'd never known.  
Missing her was dark grey all alone.  
Forgetting her is like trying to know somebody you've never met.  
But loving her was red.'  
_Lily crying softly, saying "Well… We knew you'd get married some day, we knew it would end, right?" And Narcissa who nodded softly, crying too.

The song went on, more memories showed up. Ones that Narcissa didn't even know she still had. When it ended, the class stared at her in silent until one girl spoke up. "That's the kind of tragic lovestory you find in bookstores."

Another girl shook her head. "Books always end well."

Remus chuckled. "She's right Narcissa. But I guess neither of us picked a very good first partner."

She sighed and shook her head. "Definitely not, no."

OoO

Bella's letter came during dinner this time. In her reply, Narcissa had told her about Alicia's engagement, about Minerva, and father.

 _"_ _You're dating Minerva fucking Mcgonagall. How the fuck are you dating Minerva fucking Mcgonagall?_

 _Mcgonagall, if you hurt her I swear to Merlin I will fucking kill you. Do you hear me? That's my little sis, and you'll damn well make sure she's okay._

 _Cissy, congratulate Aly for me. Engaged! I haven't even seen her yet for fuck's sake and she'll already be moved out when I do._

 _And he can't be. HE FUCKING CAN'T BE DO YOU HERE ME CISSY? HE CAN'T BE. I'LL BREAK THIS FUCKING PLACE DOWN IF HE EVER GETS OUT OF THERE I SWEAR TO MERLIN._

 _-Bella calm the fuck down, I'm trying to sleep here. What's the big deal about anyway?_

 _You're a fucking idiot Rod. You don't fucking understand so shut the fuck up._

 _-I'm fucking an idiot you mean. Ow!_

 _You deserved that one. Now shut up or say something nice._

 _-That's very ironic, coming from Bellatrix Lestrange's mouth. But okay, Narcissa, congratulations, also congratulate whoever Aly is, and don't worry about us. We're happily married as always._

 _Happily married my arse, you're a good fuck but that's it._

 _Anyway, I really miss you Cissy, please stay safe and I love you! Say the same to, the other people you know who, I'm too lazy to list all of them and this auror looks like he's about to kill me. Bye!"_

Without looking at Minerva, she chuckled. "You've heard her." She said softly when she looked up. "It's a miracle they haven't killed each other, though."

OoO

Nearing the end of the school year, she, Minerva, and Remus were sitting in her rooms. She and Minerva sitting cuddled up on a sofa, while Remus was caught up in the map he had taken from Harry a couple of days ago.

He had told them about it, a lot. But now she could see how happy he was to have it back, Narcissa smiled softly and rested her head in Minerva's shoulder.

After a while, Minerva carefully stood up, taking a pillow instead to rest Narcissa's head on. She kissed the corner of her mouth, said goodbye to Remus and left the room.

He looked at her, smiling. "I still have to say it, that's very adorable." She chuckled.

It was silent for a while and Narcissa closed her eyes. Remus gasped suddenly, standing up and almost pushing over the chair he had been sitting on.

She gasped and sat up, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"He's supposed to be dead…" Was the only thing Remus said. She walked over to him to look at the map as well.

Peter Pettigrew. "That's who he's been looking for? But what has that to do with Ron Weasley's rat?..." He looked up at her, confused.

"What are you talking about?"  
"Well it's obvious we're going to go there. Sirius has been talking about needing to kill Ron Weasley's rat, but what has that to do with Peter Pettigrew?"

It didn't matter that that was very secret, she and Remus would be going to the shrieking shack anyway now, with Sirius and Pettigrew there, with Ron, Hermione and Harry.

"Peter was a rat animagus… But that couldn't be… Right?" Remus said, unsure himself. She shrugged, having absolutely no idea.

"We'll just go down there I guess." She said softly, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Remus nodded.

About ten minutes later, they were standing in the tunnel leading to the shrieking shack. Just in time to hear Sirius say "Don't worry, only one will die tonight." Narcissa rolled her eyes.

Without look at or waiting for Remus, she stepped inside, shaking her head. "You've got to be kidding me Sirius, for Merlin's sake stop being so overly dramatic." She snapped, ignoring the surprised gasps of the three students.

"Cissy what are you doing here?" He said, grinning as he turned away from Harry.

She sighed. "Bringing you your boyfriend and making sure you're not terrorizing my students." Sirius' face lit up.

"Oh don't worry, they're fine. Well, the ginger one broke his leg, but they're fine. You brought Moony? Where is he?!"

Narcissa just stared at him, then walked towards Ron. "Remus come over here and hug him." She snapped. "Ron, where is it broken?" She said kinder.

He just pointed at the spot where it hurt most, and she whispered a healing spell. "I should have a potion here…" She frantically looked through the pockets of her robes. "Here, against the pain."

Sirius let go of Remus to raise his eyebrows at her. "You carry pain relieving potions for students in your robes? Talk about caring."

"They're not for students." She shook her head as she stood up. "They're for me, or when my idiot cousin breaks a student's leg. Anyway, what are you doing here?!"

Harry spoke up for the first time. "You know him?!" and Hermione answered.

"Of course she does! He's her cousin! And he was his best friend, he's a werewolf!"

Narcissa sighed and Remus groaned softly. "Yes, of course I know him. Sirius is indeed my cousin. And how did you know professor Lupin is a werewolf? Nevermind. Sirius, what are you doing?!"

"Well, I was calmly trying to kill a murderer until you came here." He said and she raised his eyebrows.

"And what exactly have you told them? That you're not a mass murderer?" Sirius shook his head. "That you're only interested in the rat and not Harry?" He shook his head again.

Narcissa sighed. "Harry, mr. Weasley, miss Granger, my cousin is not a mass murderer, he was innocent when put in Azkaban, and still is. He is only here to kill your rat, mr. Weasley, as it is most likely the actual murderer of Lily and James Potter."

"Yes, now just give me the rat!" Sirius said quite loud, walking towards Ron. He held the rat close to his chest and Remus sighed.

"Sirius, calm down. Ron, can you please give me or Narcissa the rat? We'll cast a quick, harmless spell, and if nothing happens, you get it back and we'll all move on." He said calmly, smiling at Ron in a kind manner.

The boy nodded and cautiously reached out his hand, where the rat tried his hardest to get away. Remus stepped forward to take it carefully. "Alright, Sirius?"

He nodded and cast a spell, causing the room to light up in a bright blue. Immediately, the rat started to transform. Less than a minute later, Peter Pettigrew sat in front of them. Narcissa looked at him with nothing but disgust and hatred.

"Oh, Remus, Sirius! My old friends!" He said in a high voice, crawling toward the latter, who kicked him back.

"We're not your friends Peter." Remus said in a dangerously low tone. "We haven't been friends since you betrayed Lily and James."

Peter than turned to Ron. "But Ron, I've always been a good pet rat! Wasn't I?" He stammered, but Ron just pulled up his face in disgust.

Turning to her, the man said "And Narcissa, you've always hated them, surely you don't want to help him, do you?" Narcissa narrowed her eyes, speaking soft and dangerously.

"Don't get your hopes up, disgusting animal. It doesn't matter who would try to kill you, it could be the Dark Lord for all I care, I would help them. You betrayed Lily and James. She trusted you and you betrayed her when you got scared. You killed her, and If it wasn't for Sirius who deserves to kill you so much more than I do, you'd already have had the most painful death I could possibly give you."

She was shaking slightly and Peter quickly turned away from her. Turning to Harry now. "But Harry, you look so much like your father, he would save me. He wouldn't want me to die."

Sirius groaned loudly and took his wand again. "Believe it or not Peter, you're going to die tonight."

"No."

Everyone turned to Harry in surprise. "Harry, this man is the reason your parents are dead, he's-" Remus started.

"I know. But from what you've shown me about my father, he wouldn't have wanted his best friends to become murderers, just for him." He said softly and turned to her. "And mom would've never wanted you to murder for her. No matter whether you've done it before or not, she wouldn't have wanted that."

The three adults, except Pettigrew, sighed softly. Narcissa muttered 'Gryffindors' under her breath, but nodded.

Somewhere in her mind, she knew he was right. She knew Lily, and she knew she would've agreed with her son.

But to be standing here, her murderer only a meter away from her, she wanted to use every curse she knew on him. Next to her, Sirius seemed to have the same thoughts.

"We can give him to the dementors." Harry offered, when it stayed silent.

She nodded absentmindedly, only being able to look at Peter Pettigrew. Sirius sighed. "Fine, but do it now before he escapes."

It took a little over five minutes before everyone was standing outside the shrieking shack. Sirius, Remus and Harry held Peter, and Ron stared at her perplexed. "What Harry said, is that true? You've murdered?"

She bit her lip and lay her head in her neck before looking away and nodding almost unnoticeable. "Yes, mr. Weasley. I have." She said softly and he and Hermione gasped.

"Isn't that something you're supposed to tell your students at the beginning of the year, Cissa?" Sirius said, chuckling. "You know, a warning. 'This is the defence teacher, she likes to fuck death eaters and has murdered a couple of people, but no worries there kids.' Something like that."

Narcissa glared at him. "Very funny, Sirius." She snapped, taking her wand. She whispered 'lumos maximus' and sighed softly in relief when it lit up. "Now take Pettigrew to the castle, he can have the kiss and we'll be done with all of this and go back inside."

Hermione looked at her and opened her mouth, but she shook her head. "Not now, miss. Granger. If you have more questions, feel free to come to my office tomorrow."

It wasn't that she was still scared of the dark. It just made her, uncomfortable, a bit nervous and tense. The girl looked at her a bit worried, perhaps, and lit her wand as well. Narcissa smiled softly.

They all turned to Remus and Sirius when the latter yelled out "Remus!" and gasped.

He was changing. Narcissa knew what was happening but something was off. Sirius saw it too and yelled at him. "Have you taken your potion? Remus?!" But instead of Remus, a full grown werewolf was standing in front of them.

"Harry, come here!" Narcissa yelled, positioning herself in front of Ron and Hermione. She watched powerless as Pettigrew changed back into his animagus form and ran away. A tear rolled down her cheek, he had fled.

Sirius changed into his dog shape, jumping onto Remus as he growled. But he was slapped away easily.

She shook her head and said "You three, stay back." as she ran forward and changed into a white leopard. She and Sirius ran towards the wolf together, careful to not hurt him lethally.

They heard another wolf howling, deep in the forest. Remus looked up, ignoring the two of them, and ran away.

Narcissa changed back and looked at Sirius, who had walked back to the three students. "Ron, Hermione, you go back to the castle and warn professor Dumbledore and professor Mcgonagall, alright?" She said. "Sirius, talk to Harry and become a dog again afterwards. After we've told Albus and Minerva what happened, you go to Malfoy Manor."

Ron and Hermione nodded cautiously and ran away, Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "Malfoy Manor?"

"Where were you going to live otherwise? Grimmauld place? You deserve better."

Sirius grinned. "Jesus Cissa, Hogwarts has changed you, for the bet-" But he was interrupted by Harry.

"Dementors."

Narcissa shivered when she felt the cold too and turned around. Next to her Sirius cursed softly and Harry walked backwards. They followed him, running towards the edge of the lake, she noticed.

Her head got clouded, images and screams filling her brain. Harry stumbled and fell to the ground and Sirius stopped next to him. She did as well, she realized.

The dementors surrounded them, but they weren't all focusing on Sirius. Narcissa saw them coming to her and even Harry.

She had her wand. She had her wand but her head was too clouded to even think of a memory. Her body was too weak to lift her arm.

Harry fainted, Sirius and she looked at him and then each other. He smiled weakly. "There weren't this much at once in Azkaban…"

She nodded softly. "So, I guess this is… The end?" And he nodded, attempting to crawl closer to her.

"Unless Albus and Minerva come right now, we're doomed."  
"Amazing."

She heard Bellatrix scream and shivered.

Then a silver light filled the air and she looked up to see a patronus running towards the dementors. Narcissa felt their presence disappear, but too late. At almost the same time as Sirius, she fainted.

OoO

She woke up in the hospital wing, Minerva, Lucius, and Draco sitting around her bed.

The minister was standing in front of it, talking to Albus. He smiled when he looked at her. "Mrs. Malfoy! You're a hero, Black has told us everything."

Narcissa looked at him confused. "Oh dear, you're too tired. Black has told us you caught him, when he tried to kill Harry."

She caught on, nodding weakly. "Sorry Mr. Fudge, I'm just very tired. I wasn't sure whether, he was actually caught or not. The dementors came, for Harry and me as well…"

The man nodded, looking at her with pity before whispering something to Albus and walking out of the hospital wing. Lucius and Minerva both took one of her hands.

Albus smiled at her. "According to Cornelius, you'll most likely get an order of merlin, second class. Perhaps even first." His eyes twinkled and Narcissa could tell he knew what had actually happened. "Funny, because Mr. Weasley and miss Granger came to me and Minerva tonight, with a whole different story.

And don't worry, your cousin will be just fine."

A few minutes later, Harry and Hermione came running into the wing. She looked up in surprise. "Weren't you just there…?" Ron said, shocked.

Hermione looked at him weirdly. "No of course not Ronald, how can someone be at two places at once?" Minerva smiled softly next to her, and she understood.

Narcissa raised an eyebrow questioningly towards the girl and mouthed 'How is he?'. She smiled and nodded.

OoO

At the end of the schoolyear, Narcissa sat in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Thinking about everything that had happened that year.

She and Andromeda came together every time there was an update from the hospital. They often cried, and she knew Meda was as terrified as she was.

Finding out that father was getting better, even though it happened very slowly, had made her mental health worse. She had more nightmares again, flinched more often when people touched her, and she felt it becoming worse after every update.

Planning Alicia's and Devika's wedding was a nice distraction, and she loved what it would be. A combination between both the Indian and English culture. From what Narcissa had seen, Indian weddings were an amazing event, but they had decided it would only last one day.

She had spent a lot of time talking to Lucius and Minerva. In the beginning, Lucius had been a bit uncomfortable still, she knew. But he and Minerva had talked a lot as well, and it was a lot better now.

The feeling of coming home and finding both of them there was still amazing to her, just as knowing that wherever she was, Hogwarts or the Manor, at least one of them would be there if she needed them.

Bellatrix send a lot of howlers, and Narcissa was very worried about her. She could hear that her sister was breaking now, bit by bit, and she didn't want to know what it would do to Her.

She had talked to Harry more often, showing him memories of Lily. After those memories she had talked to Lucius and Minerva about her, and they helped her. Lucius comforted her, Minerva helped her with the grief, having lost her husband herself all those years ago.

Hermione had asked her to talk to her more the next year, as she was now trying to understand all the pureblood ways. Narcissa knew she was fascinated with the differences between muggles and wizards, as well as those between the different wizard societies.

Remus would leave Hogwarts, he wasn't needed as her assistant anymore. But she would make sure he was there when teaching about boggarts, and werewolves. He visited the Manor often, stayed over sometimes. Mostly for Sirius.

Sirius.

Her cousin now lived here, though no one knew for how long. The ministry stopped suspecting her, and she had been given an order of Merlin, first class even.

In case there would ever be need to, she had prepared a room that could only be entered by apparating elves. She had used it during the war often, and no one but the elves could come there.

Narcissa smiled to herself.

Besides everything, she was quite happy with how it had all turned out.

OoO

 **So, next chapter will the set in the fourth book. Which will most likely only be Alicia's wedding, perhaps the yule ball, and of course Voldemort returning. If you liked this chapter, please leave a review behind?**


	28. The Yuleball

**New chapter, set in fourth year. Next chapter will also be in that year, and after that I'll most likely go to fifth year.**

OoO

"I'm not sure what you're asking of me, Albus." She apologized.

Narcissa was sitting in his office, sucking quietly on a lemon drop. "I have heard from multiple people, that Voldemort is planning on returning, and he's gaining power. What are you going to do if he does?"

She swallowed the lemon drop in shock and coughed loudly, her eyes tearing up. With flushed cheeks she tried to recollect herself. She and Lucius had talked about it of course, as soon as his mark started to become stronger again.

"Lucius and I have discussed it. Depending on what the Dark Lord would plan to do, I'd most likely take the mark in order to be trusted enough, to stay at Hogwarts." She took a deep breath, making sure she looked confident about this. "But, I'm not going to fight on his side. And neither is Lucius."

That had been clear from the beginning. Whatever they would have to do, they knew they didn't support his cause any longer. Even if they did, they could never do that to Alicia.

"But who says this won't be like it was with the Chamber of Secrets?" Narcissa asked. "We were worried back then, but nothing happened. Well, the Dark Lord didn't return."

Albus looked at her over his glasses, eyes ever twinkling. "We don't. But from what I've heard, he has a better chance than the last time. But as I understand, I can trust you and your family?" He said, looking at her pointedly.

She nodded. "Except for Bella, yes. As long as you can keep my family safe, you can trust us." She said confidently. That's the way things had always been.

"Does that mean you're on our side, or on the dark side?"  
"Whatever is best for my family. Which, considering Alicia and her fiancé, is your side."

He nodded. "Let's just hope it won't come to this, Narcissa."

She did. Oh, she really did.

OoO

Everyone in the castle seemed to be busy with preparations for the yule ball. Deciding what to wear, how to look, and of course, with who to go.

She saw it everywhere, notes being passed through class, there had been students who walked out of class in embarrassment when they were rejected. It made her very glad she wasn't a student any more.

Daphne had asked for her help with getting ready and picking an outfit, like for every ball.

A few of her friends had looked at her rather weirdly when they heard of it, but it was normal for her. After their mother died when Daphne was 6, she and her younger sister Astoria always came to either Narcissa, or Mrs. Zabini for help.

She was just finishing up grading some essays, when Draco walked into her rooms bit nervously. "Mom?"

"Yes dear?" She smiled. "What is it?"

He shrugged a bit and sat down on a sofa, Narcissa grew worried. She got up and sat down next to him. "Draco?"

He took a deep breath, "I think I just got a date for the yule ball." He said softly. She didn't know what was so nerve wracking about that, but smiled.

"That's great, isn't it? With who are you going?" She asked, smiling warmly at him.

Draco shrugged again, blushing softly. "I.. Harry…" He whispered.

She smiled and looked at him. "That's why you're so nervous?" She shook her head and opened her arms, he hugged her tight.

"Sorry… I know it'd be fine, I mean, you, Aly and Devika, of course you'd be fine with it. But I was just… Really nervous, you know?" Draco stammered out and she smiled, chuckling softly.

Still holding him, she said "No need to apologize, I know it can be scary."

He smiled softly and relieved when she kissed his forehead. "I'm proud of you Draco, and I'm glad you told me. I love you, alright? Don't ever forget that." She said softly, smiling. "So, what happened?"

OoO

At the evening of the yuleball, she stood in her Hogwarts chambers, alone. She wore a light blue, low cut dress that fell around her ankles, silver earrings with a small diamond, and a necklace she had gotten from Lucius.

She watched as a charm put up her hair carefully and stared at her reflection.

Sometimes she thought of the amount of spells and potions that went into her appearance. Narcissa was the only one of the three sisters to have copied that from their mother. Mother, who had looked like she could be 28 until the day she died. Age 49.

She and Meda had talked about it, home. She knew that Meda was scarred the most by the endless rants about muggles and muggleborns. To the point that her relationship with Ted's parents was strained, due to her behavior in the beginning.

Of course, Bella had been affected the most by being told she wasn't good enough, by being told she couldn't do things. After she broke, that was what she had spent years on, trying to prove that she could do anything.

And she, Narcissa, wanted nothing more than to be perfect. Pure perfection, no matter the cost.

Druella had been more than willing to help with that, and back then she didn't realize how scarred her mother had been, too. Not that she was about to forgive her, of course.

Her mother had taught her charms to hide all her 'imperfections'. She gave her potions to make her skin paler, potions to make her sick, charms to hide her body fat. Narcissa shivered.

She herself had found new potions, new charms, that were better and more dangerous. A potion that, taken once a month, made her skin younger.

She had used so many of them, changed so much little things about herself, that she didn't even know how she looked without them. Most were irreversible, after all.

But, she had to admit, it paid off.

She looked beautiful, she was thin, but of course not too thin, her hair was white blonde and her diamond earrings matched her eyes. Her skin looked like porcelain, her dress fitted beautifully, her make-up was done with magic.

Narcissa nodded softly at herself.

Perfection.

Just then, a patronus appeared in her room, announcing that Lucius would come through the fireplace.

"You look stunning, love." He whispered, kissing her cheek. "Ready to go?"

She nodded, looking at the mirror again as she turned away. Perfection.

Lucius shook his head and hugged her carefully. "You look beautiful Narcissa, don't doubt that. You're stunning." He whispered again, smiling softly as he kissed her once.

She nodded and smiled softly. "So do you love."

When they stepped into the great hall, it was still fairly empty. The teachers were there, the band that would play, and a few elves setting up the food and drinks.

Narcissa and Lucius walked to Minerva, who was talking to Albus. The woman smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "You look beautiful." She smiled.

"As do you." Narcissa smiled back, hugging her. "Good evening, Albus."

Slowly, the students started to walk into the Great Hall. Daphne smiled at her, proudly twirling around in her dress as she walked inside.

After her, Draco walked inside with a nervous Harry on his arm. She could see Draco was nervous too, though he was a lot better at hiding it than his date.

The two walked over to them, and Harry seemed to get only more nervous. Minerva walked towards them "Ah, Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, are you two ready to open the dance?" She said with a tight smile.

Harry's eyes widened. "What do you mean, professor? Opening?"

"Yes, the champions and their dates are to open the ball by dancing the first dance, didn't I tell you?" He shook his head, next to him Draco chuckled.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?"

"I can't dance professor…" He stuttered, blushing slightly.

Draco smirked, hiding a chuckle. "Don't worry Potter, I'll lead."

Harry raised his eyebrow. "You can dance?"

"Well of course, I'm a Malfoy. I've been learning it since I was seven." He answered, smiling proudly. Narcissa smiled softly, she had taught him well.

Ten minutes later, the dance started. The four couples started to dance, and she noticed the way Draco managed to hide most of Harry's small missteps.

As she observed the other students, she noticed many of them looking a bit surprised at Harry and Draco, and looking at her to judge her reaction. She only smiled proudly, directing her gaze at her son again.

Lucius put his arm around her waist and Minerva took her hand. She smiled, holding both of them close.

After the first dance had ended, more students went to the dance floor. As did she and Minerva.

She would dance with Minerva first, and later, when a slower song would be played, with Lucius. The woman took one of her hands in her own and placed the other at her waist.

They laughed as she twirled around, her dress moving around her, and was caught again by Minerva. She didn't focus on the song, only catching some phrases here and there.

 _"_ _When the sun shines we'll shine together, told you I'd be here forever.  
Said I'd always-"_

She spun again, closing her eyes this time.

The song was over too soon, after which came much faster one. Both the women walked back to Lucius, who was now talking to Albus.

The four of them talked for a while, Narcissa went dancing with Lucius and Minerva a couple more times, and then excused herself to get something to drink.

When she had taken a glass of red wine and turned around to walk back, a student ran into her, causing the drink to spill over both of them.

"Oh, I'm sorry professor… I didn't mean to-" Miss Granger's lip trembled as she tried to continue walking towards the entrance.

Narcissa looked at her worriedly and took her wand. "That's quite alright, cleaned in no time." She whispered 'scourgify' and waved her wand over both of them, the wine disappeared. "Are _you_ alright, miss. Granger?"

The girl nodded, but her eyes were red and a couple of tears glistened on her face. She looked quite a lot like Alicia, she noticed now. "It's nothing, something childish, really."

"Childish or not, is it bad enough to end your night already?" Narcissa raised her eyebrow but smiled kindly.

"I- I'd rather not talk about it, professor." Hermione said softly.

She smiled. "I'm not asking what happened, miss. Granger, that's none of my business. But is it bad enough to end this night now?"

"Well, my date's gone and so are my friends, I don't see much more reason to stay for the remaining time."  
"Date's gone?"  
"Chased away by friends."  
"You'll always see."

Narcissa looked kindly at the girl. "Never let others ruin your night, miss. Granger, that's always a waste."

"Seeing as my eyes are red and puffy and my dress smells like red wine, I did a fine job at ruining it myself." The girl replied bitterly, and Narcissa shook her head.

She sighed. "Alright, come with me." She said, leading the girl to an empty classroom. "It's a lot quieter than the lavatories."

Narcissa took her wand and lit the room. "I'm going to take care of your eyes, and do something about the dress, if that's alright with you." The girl nodded cautiously.

"Alright. I'll be casting a glamour. It won't hurt, but cover up the 'imperfections' it notices surrounding your eyes. Meaning no one will be able to tell you cried." She explained. "But please promise me that you won't use something like this more often, it won't do anything good."

Hermione looked at her confused. "Is it illegal or something?..."

"Oh no, no, nothing like that, don't worry. But a lot of people use glamours like this for a lot of things, which is quite damaging to one's self-image." The girl nodded softly.

She cast the glamour and let Hermione look into the mirror. She smiled. "Alright, now the dress."

When Narcissa was done, Hermione smiled softly. "Thank you, professor." She said, as they walked into the Great Hall again, but she looked unsure.

"That's quite alright, and don't wor-" She answered, but was cut off when Daphne Greengrass walked towards her.

"Hey auntie, Pansy's so jeal- Oh, hey Granger. Pansy's so jealous of the dress, you should see her eyes!" The blonde said excitedly. "And Granger, what happened? Krum is sulking somewhere, Weasley's sulking a bit angrier somewhere else, and Potter knows nothing because he's been swooning over Malfoy and Chang the entire night."

Hermione blushed. "Nothing, Greengrass."

Daphne looked at her instead, raising an eyebrow. "I have no idea about all the drama happening tonight."

"Well, whatever it is, you and Weasley don't seem best friends anymore, neither do you and Krum. So, unless you're secretly besties with Brown and Patil, you're coming with me."

Hermione looked surprised at her. "What do you mean?"

"Alright, I'm going to thank you for the dress later, bye auntie." Daphne said, chuckling. "Granger, no girl should dance alone at a ball, so you'll be dancing with me, Tracey and Pansy. Watch out for Pansy, she can be a right bitch. And you're friends with the female Weasley right? Introduce me somewhere tonight, she's cute."

Narcissa stopped listening and walked away, getting another glass of wine before returning to Lucius, Minerva and Albus.

A while later, she heard the beginning of a new song and smiled at Lucius, taking his hand and leading him to the dancefloor.

Lucius, upon recognizing the song, smiled back and pulled her close to dance. She closed her eyes as she lay her head in his shoulder.

 _"_ _Think I want you more than want, know I need you more than need.  
Want to hold you more than hold, when you stood in front of me.  
Think you know me more than know, and you see me more than see.  
I could die now more than die, every time you look at me."_

She loved this song, she thought as Lucius held her close, protectively. He whispered the words of the song and she smiled.

 _"_ _Well I've seen you in jeans, with no make-up on,  
and I stood there in awe as your date for the prom.  
I'm blessed as a man to have seen you in white,  
but I've never seen anything quite like you tonight."_

He spun her around and smiled brightly at her when he pulled her back to hold her again. Lucius kissed her lips once, then the song continued.

 _"_ _When it's right it's more than right, 'cause you feel it more than feel.  
I could take this moment now, right into the grave with me."_

They danced slowly, their bodies pressed together as he embraced her. She noticed now that people had made more space for them and Narcissa closed her eyes again, resting her head against his chest.

The way he held her, how he whispered along to the song, it reminded her of the countless times they had danced like this in the drawing room of the manor. Lucius kissed her hair and whispered "Merlin, Narcissa. I love you so much."

"I love you too, love." She whispered back, though she wasn't sure he had heard her as her voice was muffled in his robes.

When the chorus repeated, he spun her around again. Narcissa was held close, breathing in his perfume with a smile, as Lucius sang along again.

 _"_ _And your eyes are in your eyes, and my heart is in our hearts.  
Sometimes words just ain't enough, for this love that's more than love."_

He kissed the corner of her mouth when the chorus repeated for the last time and he dipped her, smirking down at her. The song ended and she looked up at him, eyes twinkling. "I love you."

"I love you too." Lucius smiled at her and pulled her up again, taking her hand and squeezing it softly.

OoO

Auror Moody scared her, now he was at school to help with the protection of the triwizardtournament. He was terrifying to her.

The way he looked at her, and the female students, with his magical eye. She knew he could see through clothes, and Narcissa had had more than one panic attack at the realization of another old man staring at her body.

Combined with her father getting slowly better and better, the mark growing stronger, and Bella becoming less Bella with every howler, she wasn't well.

Which was why precisely that auror was here, helping her teach about the unforgivables. They were teaching the fourth years, Slytherin and Gryffindor.

"As always, if anyone feels uncomfortable to see these curses being used, feel free to turn around or leave the classroom for a while. Anyone who comments on this will receive detention for two weeks." She said, looking at the students sternly. Her gaze lingered on Neville Longbottom.

Moody had other plans. "None of that nonsense, you're here to learn, and you don't learn by ignoring the reality." He growled.

She shook her head. "You're not changing the way I teach lessons like this."

"Since I'm here, I assume the way you teach them isn't the best."  
"You know perfectly well why you're here, get out the two mice while I explain the first curse."

Narcissa looked at his and turned away from him immediately. "And _stop_ staring at me." She hissed, taking her wand. "Alright, the first curse we'll be showing is the imperius curse."

She explained what it entailed, and then turned to one of the mice. "Imperio." She whispered, and the mouse rolled around a bit, jumped up and down and did a handstand.

The killing curse was next. The same mouse fell down at the bottom of the cage as a few students gasped softly.

"And who can tell me the last curse?" She asked softly, looking around the class. A couple of students raised their hands. "Yes, Mr. Longbottom?"

He stood up, his hands shaking slightly. "The- the cruciatus curse, professor."

Narcissa nodded and thanked him. "The cruciatus curse, a torture curse. Perhaps the most horrible one of the three. It causes a pain similar to being stabbed with knives, every inch of your body. And it can, if used often enough, damage the victim's mind quite severely." She sighed softly. "I am not going to cast it, Mr. Moody will do that. Anyone who doesn't want to witness it, turn around or leave the room."

Moody shook his head again. "Weakness. Prepare yourself for the real world, you can't avoid things like this in the-"

"Mr. Moody!" She warned, and he stopped. She saw a few students turning around quietly, including mr. Longbottom, Nott and Miss. Davis.

He casted the curse and the mouse began to shriek horribly, Narcissa turned away her head immediately, shutting her eyes close. "That's enough."

She was shaking when she walked to her desk to sit down, and levitated the bowl with truffles towards a couple of students. "Take two, it'll help."

Narcissa sighed softly "That would be the end of the lesson, you're free to go." The students nodded and stood up, talking and laughing. "Mr. Longbottom."

"Yes, professor?"  
"Are you quite alright?"  
"Yeah, professor."

OoO

 **So school's starting again, so updates will most likely become a lot less. Anyway, if you liked it please leave a review?**


	29. The Dark Lord

"You look stunning Alicia, just look at you." Narcissa whispered, standing behind her daughter as she looked in the mirror.

Alicia wore a deep red saree, with gold decorations. Her hair was braided with magic and Narcissa had put small diamonds in it.

In the past months, they had prepared everything for this day. Two sarees had been made for Devika and Alicia, something worn by Indian women.

The ceremony was to start in a few minutes, and she and Alicia looked up when Lucius walked inside. "Ready darling?" He smiled at the bride, offering his arm to her.

She nodded and took his arm as Narcissa took her other. When the music started to play, the doors opened by magic and the three of them walked inside.

Devika was standing at the altar, wearing a red with black saree. She smiled brightly at Alicia when they walked towards her, and Narcissa saw the tears in her eyes.

She herself had tears stinging in her eyes as well, when kissed her daughter's cheek and let go of her arm to watch her walk to Devika. Lucius took her hand and sat down on the front row.

The vows were beautiful, and after both had said "I do." Narcissa was not the only one to shed a couple of tears.

That had been something Aly wanted. Glamours and all that were perfectly fine, but she didn't want her and Lucius to hide their emotions. Not on her wedding day.

After the ceremony, both she and Lucius would sing to Alicia. But first Devika's parents gave a heartwarming speech together, making their daughter cry.

Narcissa saw a couple of journalists from the prophet, witch weekly and other, smaller, papers. No less than expected, it was still a Malfoy wedding after all. And with the rumours about the Dark Lord and even still Sirius, a bit of good publicity was very welcome.

When it was his turn, Lucius walked to the empty circle where the parents of Devika had just been standing.

"This song is for Devika Malfoy, the woman I will never forgive for stealing my little girl's heart." He said with a smile, and Devika smiled back as she held Alicia close.

" _Look at the two of you dancing that way.  
Lost in the moment, and each other's face.  
So much in love you're alone in this place,  
like there's nobody else in the world._

 _I was enough for her not long ago.  
I was her number one, she told me so.  
And she still means the world to me, just so you know.  
So be careful when you hold my girl._

 _Time changes everything life must go on,  
and I'm not gonna stand in your way…_"

In front of him, memories were shown just like with the speech. Devika and Alicia dancing together in the manor, twenty year old Aly telling him laughingly that he will always be the most important man in her life.

" _I loved her first, I held her first.  
And a place in my heart will always be hers.  
From the first breath she breathed, when she first smiled at me.  
I knew the love of a father runs deep.  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday,  
but it's still hard to give her away.  
I loved her first_."

Alicia hugging Lucius for the first time, smiling brightly. Alicia who was carried inside by him after she fell down her broom. The real Alicia was crying softly now, wiping a few tears from her eyes.

" _How could that beautiful woman with you,  
be the same freckle faced, kid that I knew.  
The one that I read all those fairytales to,  
and tugged into bed all those nights._

 _And I knew the first time I saw you with her,  
it was only a matter of time…_"

Devika who was standing nervously in Malfoy Manor, Alicia on her side. The first time she met Lucius, in which he had been very, extremely, overprotective.

" _I loved her first, I held her first.  
And a place in my heart will always be hers.  
From the first breath she breathed, when she first smiled at me.  
I knew the love of a father runs deep.  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday,  
but it's still hard to give her away.  
I loved her first._

 _From the first breath she breathed, when she first smiled at me.  
I knew the love of a father runs deep.  
Some day you might know what I'm going through,  
when a miracle smiles up at you._

 _I loved her first."_

The photographers took pictures of him, of Alicia and Devika, and of her. Lucius had three tears on his cheek when he walked towards his daughter in-law. "Be careful with her, Devika. That's my girl you're holding."

He whispered it and she chuckled. "Of course sir, I'll take care of her." She smiled, and Lucius kissed both her cheeks, nodding approvingly.

Her turn now, to bring the crowd to tears. Narcissa smiled to herself when she got up to take Lucius' place. Her song would be directed at Alicia.

"Aly, this is for you. Because you've made me so incredibly happy, and because you're the best daughter I, or any mother, could ever wish for." She smiled softly, and Alicia smiled back.

" _It's every mother's dream, to have a little girl.  
And the moment I first held you, all was right in my world.  
From teddy bears, to Barbie dolls, skinned knees to sweet sixteen.  
You've always been my girl, through ups and downs and in between."_

She started, and a few short memories of Alicia through the years were shown. Aly when she was twelve, sitting in her office to tell her about the orphanage. She herself who said "You'll stay at Malfoy Manor." Without thinking about it.

" _Now here you are, a vision of the dream that's coming true.  
Here you are, a woman. Still the little girl I knew.  
And as the years all come and go, I pray that you'll be blessed to know,  
how much it means, to have a daughter just like you._

 _You're every mother's dream_."

A memory of Alicia who told her about the proposal, Alicia who came running towards her after one of her many trips.

" _It's every mother's dream to know her daughter's found her way.  
I could never count the wishes that I made for you each day.  
The first time that you smiled at me, I saw your special light.  
I always knew you'd make me proud, and darling I was right_."

Alicia, being sorted into Slytherin. Holding a two year old Draco. Walking with her through the ministry of magic for the official adoption.

Narcissa repeated the chorus once more, and looked at her daughter, her two daughters, with tears in her eyes.

The remaining part of the wedding went by fast. She danced with Lucius, Minerva, Devika, and Alicia, talked for a long time with Devika's parents and got tipsy because she drank a little too much red wine.

The wedding gifts were beautiful. Alicia laughed when the Weasley twins gave a sign saying "Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life"

"We got it from a muggle shop, it must be good."

After all the gifts had been unpacked, Alicia and Devika got up smiling. Narcissa hugged her daughter tight, kissing her forehead. "Congratulations dear." She whispered.

She and Lucius looked at the couple as they walked out of the room, saying goodbye to everyone they saw. He put his arm around her waist and kissed her head. "Our little girl…"

Narcissa nodded. "Our little girl.. Grown up." She whispered as he hugged her.

OoO

The third task of the tournament would begin in a few minutes, and the whole school was sitting in the stands of the quidditch field.

Narcissa would, along with a few other teachers, patrol outside the maze for when something went wrong. She hadn't expected it to go this wrong.

After both Mr. Krum and Miss. Delacour had been taken out of the maze, and with that the competition, she got a feeling that something was going wrong.

She heard cheers from the stands, but didn't know what had happened. Auror Moody smiled, and none of the other teachers seemed to be disturbed.

The audience became silent again, as if waiting. It unnerved Narcissa.

After what felt like hours, she watched Lucius walk towards her from the side, a wild look in his eyes. "H He's back. I have to go, talk to Dumbledore love." He whispered quickly, trying to look calm but his eyes betrayed how scared he was.

Narcissa looked at him as he walked away as proud as always, feeling nauseous with fear suddenly.

She knew who Lucius meant. The Dark Lord had returned.

Images of the war flashed through her mind, together with thoughts of everything that could happen now. Her breath quickened and she shook her head quickly. She couldn't right now, she had to take care of this.

She took a deep breath and walked towards Albus quickly. "Albus, I need to talk to you. Now." She hissed and he looked at her curiously.

"What's the matter Narcissa?"  
"The Dark Lord, he-"

She began to whisper, but was interrupted when two bodies appeared next to the maze. Her eyes widened as she and Albus both turned around.

Harry was sprawled across Cedric, who was laying still in the grass, too still. Dead, she realized with a shock and her knees weakened.

Teachers walked to the pair, Fleur screamed when she saw them. Mr. Diggory pushed himself through the crowd, she could only imagine his pain as he screamed. "That's my boy! THAT'S MY BOY!"

She blinked away tears when Alastor Moody took a screaming Harry away. Albus and Minerva had seen it too, and she walked with them. No auror would take him away immediately, not at a moment like this.

He was already gone when the three of them entered the castle, none of them said a word as they walked on.

It took ten minutes to find the right room, much longer than it should've taken. When they entered, Harry was sitting on a desk, but it wasn't auror Moody who stood in front of him. Narcissa gasped when she realized who it was. No one but Barty Crouch, Junior.

He was disarmed immediately and forced to explain, while Narcissa walked to Harry. She didn't say anything as to not interrupt Crouch, but carefully put an arm around his shoulder but he shook it off.

She felt nauseous when she heard that he had been at Hogwarts the entire year. A deatheater who hated her family, who knew about their betrayal against the Dark Lord. She shivered.

He was taken away and she looked at Harry, scared. "What happened, when he returned?" But he looked at her, accusingly.

"Your husband was there. I heard what he said! You lied, to everyone! You're still loyal to him!" He yelled and Narcissa stepped back, shaking her head.

Minerva walked to her side, taking her hand carefully. "You're mistaken, Mr. Potter. I have never lied to you, or anyone in the castle."

"I think it's best if Mr. Potter is taken to the hospital wing, he has had quite a shock tonight, as all of us." Minerva spoke as she squeezed her hand.

Minutes later, Harry had been taken away and someone of the staff had been assigned to take care of the students. Narcissa looked at Albus. "I have to talk to the order. Now." She whispered.

He nodded gravely. "I'm afraid so, Narcissa. I shall call them to come to the burrow, if you and Minerva would follow me?"

The burrow, a disgusting place. She walked through the garden quickly, not even waiting for Albus and Minerva. The door opened before she had knocked. "Ah, Alb- You?"

A tone of disgust was heard clearly in Arthur's voice, but Narcissa had no time to pay attention to it. "Yes, me, Weasley. With Albus." She snapped, walking passed him into the house.

She felt nauseous and desperate, like she was about to get sick or cry at any given moment. She was shaking a bit, she was cold, but she walked into the living room quickly, she could think about that later.

A few aurors, Molly Weasley, Remus and Sirius, Ted and Andromeda, and now herself with Albus and Minerva. What was left of the order of the phoenix.

Andromeda stood up and hugged her tight, not saying a word. Ted looked at her with pity, Remus and Sirius stood up as well. It felt like someone had died.

Albus told them to sit down, and then started to talk. "Tonight, Lord Voldemort has returned."

There were better ways to bring it, she thought, but it didn't matter. The others were shocked, tears sprung in Molly's eyes, Dora hugged her mother, a few aurors looked very pale. Narcissa looked at them, not letting herself do the same.

"And because of that, arrangements will have to be made, and they have to be made now. Narcissa, how much time to do you assume we have, and what do we have to arrange right now?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, fighting off a wave of nausea with a shiver. "A couple of hours. He is going to talk to the remaining death eaters, punish them, and then he will come to other people he needs to speak to, meaning Malfoy Manor, I assume." Narcissa started, her voice colder than usual to hide her fear.

"I need a place for my daughter and her wife to stay. They're both muggleborn, if he finds them they're dead. Sirius has to move out, and me and Albus have to talk about what I'm going to do."

Albus nodded slowly and Minerva took her hands. "As for Alicia and Devika, perhaps the burrow? No one will think it weird, you're known for taking in other people, dear Molly." He chuckled. "And Andromeda, could Sirius stay with you?"

Sirius grinned at his cousin, who rolled her eyes and nodded at Albus. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley seemed less excited. "You expect us to take in a Malfoy? I'm not going to spend money for her."

"I will pay you everything it will cost you, and much more Weasley. Then don't do it for me, but for Alicia. She has done nothing wrong but to be adopted by the wrong family." Narcissa snapped, her voice cracked slightly.

Andromeda looked at her worried. "And what's going to happen to you?" She whispered.

"I have no idea."  
"How do we know we can trust you?"  
"As long as you can keep my family safe, Lucius, Draco, Meda, Alicia, Devika, and Dora, you have my loyalty."

Narcissa looked at the auror who had asked the question, they looked at her skeptical. Arthur seemed about to say something when a silver swan appeared in the living room.

"Cissa, the Dark Lord will be almost finished. I'm at home with Draco, Alicia and Devika, where are you?"

She stood up. "Alicia and Devika will floo here, tonight ten pm. Sirius, go with Meda now, an elf will bring your stuff later tonight." She wanted to walk to the floo but was stopped by both Minerva, Andromeda, and Sirius.

Narcissa hugged her cousin and sister tightly, and then hugged Minerva. She kissed her and the woman smiled softly. She ignored the others in the room, and went home.

She and Lucius explained what was going to happen, said goodbye to Alicia and Devika with tears in their eyes, and send Draco upstairs. They had fifteen minutes to collect themselves, before the Dark Lord appeared in the drawing room.

When he did, Narcissa bowed her head, as did her husband. She hadn't had time to ask him what had happened at the graveyard, but the Dark Lord looked angry still.

"Crucio."

OoO

Afterwards, they spoke about her. "Does Albus Dumbledore trust you, Narcissa?" the Dark Lord asked, drawling.

She nodded. "Of course he does, My Lord, a foolish mistake." She lied, focusing on her occlumency.

"You will stay at Hogwarts then, obviously. But how do I know I can trust you?"

She and Lucius had prepared the answer, and she knew it was going to happen anyway. Narcissa looked up to him. "I will take the mark, My Lord."

It was something she had refused to do during the first war, and he had respected it. She wasn't allowed at meetings, she didn't have to go on all raids, only when he was short on death eaters. Narcissa only hoped he would believe she was loyal, if she took it now.

The Dark Lord nodded. "Very well, Narcissa. I assume I have your permission, as her husband?" He asked though it was not a question and they both knew it. Lucius nodded at once. "Alright then, give me your left arm."

She reached out her arm and he took his wand. Lucius held her hand as her lower arm started to burn and she had to bite her lip to not make a sound.

Barely three minutes later, the dark mark was burning on her arm. She smiled and bowed her head again. "Thank you, My Lord."

OoO

Only after the Dark Lord had left, Lucius hugged her tight with tears in his eyes. She hugged back, crying softly.

In one night, just a few hours, everything had changed. They both knew the danger they were getting in to. One mistake, no matter how small, would kill the three of them. Their daughter was gone, together with their daughter in law, and a war would start.

Another war. Narcissa thought as Lucius started to cry. Her arm hurt when she led him to the sofa where they lay down.

No words were needed, nothing that could be said would change anything, after all. They simply held each other, crying until they eventually fell asleep.

OoO

 **So, this took long. I really have no excuse, sorry. I hope you like it anyway, and please review if you did?**


	30. Lucius

**It's been five months since I updated this. I know. I'm so sorry, I have zero explanation besides being fucked up mentally lately. Anyway, I got a message about this on tumblr, saying they really liked it, so thank you for that. Which gave me the motivation to continue.**

OoO

Narcissa wore deep green robes, her hair in a braided bun and her lips a shade of dark red. She didn't pay attention to the whispers that followed her as she entered the Great Hall the following morning. Or she tried not to.

When she took her place next to Minerva, she greeted her shortly. Narcissa saw Potter's friends glare at her, he must've told them about Lucius.

She ignored Minerva's worried glance, and listened carefully to Albus' speech.

Her first class was filled with worried questions, and three students started to cry. Narcissa couldn't blame them.

During the second lesson, one brave student looked at her challenging. "You're going to be a death eater again, aren't you? I heard Potter talking about your husband." It set off a bomb not even she was able to calm down.

Later that day, Minerva came to look for her in her office, asking what's wrong. Narcissa opened her mouth but started to cry instead, only rolling up the sleeve off her left arm in response.

OoO

The whispers and comments followed her all through out the year, questions kept popping up during her classes.

Just when it had started to calm down, around the Christmas break of Draco's fifth year, the Great Hall broke out in whispers and shocked voices during breakfast when the Daily Prophet got delivered.

"Mass escape from azkaban"

The paper blamed Sirius for it, which caused Narcissa to chuckle. As if. But she had trouble hiding her happiness when she read through the names of those who were free. Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Free.

During her first class, fifth year Gryffindor Slytherin, she got bombarded with questions. Narcissa hadn't had a chance to start answering them when the door was opened. She briefly recalled her sister's promise 'I don't care you are, even in the middle of fucking diagon alley, the first thing I'm going to do when I get out is hug you.'

Bellatrix Lestrange was standing in the doorway, the students were frozen in shock and fear. Narcissa couldn't hide her smile anymore as her sister stormed towards her, her ragged Azkaban outfit swiping off a few books from the tables. She was caught in a tight hug, and held her as close as possible. "I- Bella…"

It was all she could say, but apparently enough for Bella. "I told you. I don't fucking care where you are, I'm gonna fucking hug you. Fuck I missed you Cissy…" The class didn't move, most students seemingly afraid they'd be killed if they did. Narcissa chuckled and hugged her tight.

She held her closer, her face hidden behind Bella's wild hair. "I'm sorry for what I'm going to say, I love you, go to Malfoy Manor and wait for me. I'll be there in an hour and explain everything." She whispered in her sister's ear. Then she stepped back, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry. I- Things have changed. Me and Lucius no longer are a part of your cause, I love you but you will not change that. It's too dangerous. Leave." She said cold, and Bella glared at her.

"You fucking cunt. I risk fucking everything, everything, to see you. And you fucking send me away?!" Narcissa knew she was only acting, but she still felt guilty. She nodded and told her to leave again. Bellatrix turned around and stormed into her office again, but not before blowing up the few portraits hanging on the walls.

The students stared at her shocked. "You just made Bellatrix Lestrange damn angry. You have a death wish?" Dean Thomas asked.

Narcissa shook her head, hiding her nervousness. "Of course not. I'm her little sister, she'll never harm me."

OoO

Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Sitting on her sofa.

Narcissa smiled brightly and hugged her sister as tight as she possibly could without feeling she was breaking her, then let herself be embraced by Rodolphus, just as tight.

"Explain. Every fucking thing. What the fuck is it with teaching? Adopting a mudblood? What's with Meda? And what do you mean with 'no longer supporting your cause' ?!" Bellatrix almost yelled it, but then softened her look. "And what is it with father?"

She sighed softly and hastily explained everything that had happened in the past 14 years. Then she came to the present and sighed. "Me and Lucius no longer support the Dark Lord. As it will bring Alicia and ourselves in danger.

I am spying on the Dark Lord for Albus Dumbledore, in return he will guarantee our safety and freedom."

Bellatrix stared at her with disbelief and next to her Rodolphus raised his eyebrows. "Fucking brilliant…" He mumbled.

"I'm not- I can't- Not betray him. He's my lord!" Bella started to yell again but Narcissa shook her head.

"I would never ask that of you. But I don't doubt I can trust you not to let him find out about this."

In response, Bellatrix hugged her tightly again. "No one harms my little sister." She mumbled softly,

A week later the paper read 'LORD BLACK: MURDERED IN HOSPITAL BED' as Bella read out loud proudly grinning.

OoO

Draco's fifth year also came with a toad like woman from the ministry that was quickly shown to severely dislike her and Minerva. Dolore Umbridge.'

Many comments were made about 'death eaters invading the castle' during the lessons she supervised, and Dolores made quite the scene when she found out Narcissa's inability to deal with boggarts.

But in Narcissa's opinion by far the worst was when the woman decided to, during breakfast in front of the entire great hall, announce that it was per direct forbidden for teachers to have relationships with each other. The glare in Minerva's and her direction made it complete.

In response, Minerva had stood up and kissed her chuckling, before turning to Dolores "I am very curious on how you intend to stop it, Dolores."

She had muttered something about getting them fired, which made Narcissa chuckle and shake her head. "Your beloved ministry entirely depends on the money coming from the Malfoy family, why don't you bring up the, I'm sure, flawless plan of firing the Lady of said family to Cornelius?"

The hall had burst out in cheers and laughter at Dolores stunned expression, apparently for a while forgotten they also didn't like her anymore.

OoO

The war was starting. She could see it in her husband's eyes, that glanced towards her every few seconds when she was with him, as if scared she'd be gone suddenly. Narcissa could see it in the way Bella showed up at the manor late at night, blood on her dress, and she didn't dare ask whose it was.

She could see it in the way Rodolphus stared at her worried when she would leave for Hogwarts, as worried as Lucius was, and in the way he hugged her while whispering that she must never bring herself in more danger.

Narcissa noticed it in the growing nervousness of the students, in the sadness of Albus' eyes. She could sense it in the way Minerva never let go of her hand unless she really had to, as if afraid to lose her. And it killed her.

There were times she too was send to fight, cloaked in dark robes and her white death eater mask. When she would show up later for class the following morning, hooded eyes that were covered in glamours, and her hair loose and slightly messy. From a worried and ashamed Draco she heard the students thought it was because she had been sleeping with Lucius before breakfast.

There were close calls in which her mark would start to burn during class, or during a staff meeting. Where she would ignore the burning pain until the end of the lesson and cancel the rest of the day, and was send to the battlefield because there weren't enough death eaters yet.

In the classes that she showed memories to, she now got asked about the other death eaters. "You worked with them, right? What are they like?" And Narcissa did her best to show the most human side of them. For some it was difficult, she had never particularly been fond of Greyback or Dolohov, for example. But her lessons on Rodolphus and his twin Rabastan were far easier than expected.

"Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange were twin brothers, joined the Dark Lord at the same time as Bellatrix Lestrange. I collected, as always, a few of my memories about them. Rabastan died when he was 21, killed."

 _Rabastan and Rodolphus, both incredibly drunk, sitting in the gardens of Malfoy Manor with a just as drunk Bellatrix, Alecto, Narcissa, and Lucius. They were laughing, arms around each other's shoulders. "No no Rodolphus, I clearly have the most beautiful wife. You don't even love yours!"_

 _Rabastan laughed with Alecto, who shook her head grinning. "Not your goddamn wife Lestrange." While Rodolphus looked at his brother shocked as he hugged Bellatrix grinning._

 _"_ _Not love my wife? Mad he is! People, I adore this woman! I'd marry her if she'd let me!" He yelled out, putting Bella in his lap._

 _Bellatrix laughed with him and smiled widely at Narcissa. "I'm getting married Cissy!"_

 _Rabastan leaned towards Lucius and Narcissa chuckling and whispered. "Who's gonna tell the idiots they're already married, and hate it?"_

The scene changed

 _"_ _You take the mad one, I take the ice one." Rodolphus said, causing Rabastan to grin as they entered the Manor to find the two sisters cuddled up on the sofa, fast asleep._

 _Rabastan lifted up Bellatrix carefully. "A lot less threatening this way, can't we keep her like this?" He grinned as he lifted her upstairs, while Rodolphus sat down next to Narcissa._

 _"_ _Wake up Princess," he whispered, laying down next to her as he held her close. "wake up now." He chuckled when she opened her eyes and smiled._

 _Narcissa snuggled closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. "Lucius will be here in an hour, don't worry he's just fine." She only nodded tiredly and kissed his cheek gently before closing her eyes again._

 _He chuckled and held her close. "Want me to wake you up when he comes back?" Rodolphus grinned, she nodded a bit as she drifted off to sleep again._

Another scene, Narcissa looked away. She knew this one, and knew it was heart breaking.

 _Rabastan and Rodolphus were standing next to each other, bowing to the Dark Lord. He was glaring down at them, the other death eaters surrounding the three with their heads down._

 _"_ _Explain yourselves, Lestrange. Why didn't you manage to kill this woman, thus endangering our entire circle?" The Dark Lord said in an icy tone, causing Rodolphus to shiver slightly as he looked up._

 _"_ _She looked too much like our mother, my Lord. She-"  
"I know. For those of you who don't, our poor Lady Lestrange died last month of an illness. Hence why they saw it fit to endanger us."_

 _None of the others said a thing, so the dark lord continued. "Usually I'd kill the youngest, seeing as that's impossible, you can choose. One of you kills the other." Both Rabastan and Rodolphus looked up pale now, and the other death eaters whispered to each other in shock. Even for the Dark Lord, such punishments were rare._

 _Before Rodolphus had the chance to say anything, Rabastan stepped forward and looked up. "I'll die." He said softly, looking back at his twin with tears in his eyes._

 _No time was wasted, Antonin Dolohov was ordered to hold still Rabastan and the Dark Lord cast the imperius curse over Rodolphus. The man was crying silently as he stared down at his brother, softly whispering "I'm sorry, I love you." Before he could no longer resist the curse._

 _"_ _Avada Kedavra."_

 _OoO_

Narcissa rushed down the hallways, to Albus' office. Hissing the password and running upstairs, her heart racing and not bothering to hide her worry. "Call the order of the phoenix." She snapped at the old man, who frowned.

"Why, may I ask Narcissa?"  
"The Dark Lord is planning to use Sirius to lure Potter to the department of mysteries, where a few death eaters will be waiting for him. It's about the prophecy that's there, the Dark Lord needs it."

She breathed heavily, sitting down in the armchair as Albus hurriedly called each member. "Come with me to Grimmauld's place Narcissa."

He took her arm and together they apparated in front of the house, she swallowed visibly at the sight. "Sirius has been staying here?" She spoke coldly. Albus nodded. "How could you?"

"If you insist, we can discuss the matter later." He walked inside and she followed, shaking her head. As they entered the kitchen, carefully avoiding aunt Walburga's portrait, Sirius stood up fast.

He walked to her quickly "Cissa…" he mumbled as Narcissa hugged him tight. He looked awful, paler than the last time she had seen him, almost frightened. She hook her head and held her cousin close.

"They lock you up in this house?" She sighed and looked at him, then sat down on one of the chair at the head of the table.

Others gathered around her, Albus took place at the other end of the table. "Alright, Harry Potter will go to the ministry of magic tonight, to the department of mysteries to be exact."

"How do you know that?"  
"He'd never! Why would he?"

Narcissa sighed. "If all of you would shut up until I've finished, that'd be a great thing." She snapped coldly before continueing. "I know that because the Dark Lord will make him, by using an image of Sirius being tortured in said ministry. I know he will succeed because no one here will do anything to stop that.

At the ministry, Harry Potter will find a prophecy, the prophecy the dark lord's been looking for. None of the death eaters can pick it up from it's place, and the Dark Lord can not enter the ministry. Therefore there will be a group of death eaters awaiting him. Though they are ordered not to harm him, my sister is with them so I wouldn't be sure."

Narcissa took a deep breath and looked around. "Send members of the order to fight there, order them not to severely harm any of the death eaters. They'll be wearing masks."

"Why wouldn't be harm them? They'd kill us in a heartbeat." Molly said, looking at her challenging.

"They would. With most of you, I wouldn't feel the slightest hint of regret. But we have a deal, keep my son, husband, sister, and brother safe. Keeping them safe means not severely harming them in a duel."

Albus nodded. "We'll remember."

"Also, be careful around Bellatrix. She has no limits, no fear, she's dangerous." Narcissa added, eyeing Sirius. "She isn't the same as when we were children, don't mess with her." His reassuring smile told her he had understood her silent 'I can not lose you'.

"Anything else, Narcissa?" Albus smiled carefully.

She looked down, fighting mentally over what to say next. It was important the Dark Lord would not receive the prophecy, but him not receiving the prophecy surely meant Lucius' death. Narcissa closed her eyes and whispered. "Let the death eaters take the prophecy. They will hear most of it anyway, as will Harry Potter."

The order stared at her, not saying a word, so she continued. "Lucius is leading this mission. If they don't bring the Dark Lord that prophecy, he will die and I can not begin to imagine what will happen to me and especially Draco."

OoO

Narcissa paced around for hours, walking up and down the halls of Malfoy Manor nervously. Rodolphus finally took her hands and hugged her tight, and she sighed as she buried herself in his robes. "They will be okay. You know them, Princess..." He whispered.

She smiled slightly at the nickname and allowed him to sit down, pulling her in his lap to hold her protective. "In less than an hour they'll be here, tell you about how stupid Antonin and Amycus acted. Then get so drunk they won't remember their own name and you'll hate them again."

Rodolphus grinned and stroked her hair slowly. She sighed chuckling and nodded, "I hate that you're right…"

"Good thing I always am." He grinned at her, pressing a kiss to her temple smiling. "Now stop worrying, and enjoy the peace a few hours without Bellatrix gives you."

His words reassured and amused her enough to calm her breath and close her eyes, briefly enjoying his embrace. The peace was interrupted when Bellatrix apparated into the Manor, her eyes wild, looking around almost scared.

Narcissa and Rodolphus both jumped up and hurried over to her, but she stepped away, breathing heavily. "Aurors- Lucius. Sirius- No fucking idea. Fuck. Fuck!"

She paled and stared at her older sister, as Rodolphus looked at her in shock. "Lucius. The aurors got him?!" Narcissa hissed, feeling tears well up in her eyes as she shook her head. "You're lying.""

"I might be a sick fuck, but I would not lie about that shit. Where else would he be? Mission is over, Longbottom dropped the fucking prophecy so the Dark Lord is gonna kill us all if we're lucky enough."

"Longbottom?! The fool-" Narcissa began to say as the Dark Lord appeared in the middle of them, alone.

He glared down at the three of them and told Bellatrix and Rodolphus to leave the room, they both looked at her with pity before quickly disappearing upstairs. The Dark Lord looked at her, an almost kind smile on his face. "I take it Bellatrix has told you about the failure of your precious husband, Narcissa?"

Narcissa nodded slightly. "Yes My Lord."

"Then your task has grown more difficult. Tomorrow it'll be in the prophet. Talk to Albus Dumbledore, convince him you only were here to spy. If he believes you, we're safe."

She nodded again, bowing. "I will, my Lord." Narcissa barely had time to finish the sentence when she fell down with a scream as the cruciatus curse hit her chest.

OoO

The following morning, she felt like she couldn't move, and it took a great effort to stand up and look into her mirror. She looked even more awful than she felt.

The Dark Lord had forbidden her to use any kind of healing charm, which meant she wasn't able to use a glamour as well. It wouldn't be half as bad if it wasn't for the deep gash that reached from her left eyebrow to just below her lips.

Narcissa closed her eyes again as she felt Bellatrix wrap her arms around her from behind, taking a few strands of her hair to put them behind her ear. "Lucius will be fine. Azkaban isn't half as bad as they tell you."

She knew it was meant as a reassurance, so she smiled slightly and turned to hug her sister tight. "I have to leave, where is Draco?"

Draco had been called home late last night, and she had cried with him when she told him the news. He had left upstairs soon after.

"Downstairs, Roph's looking after him."

He left to Hogwarts 30 minutes before she did, right after hugging her tight and whispering to her that they'd be fine. Narcissa hated that he had to be the one to tell her that.

When she entered the Great Hall, people stopped talking to look at her. She assumed it must be quite a sight, the bruises, black eyes, and still red gash all together. She didn't pay the stares any attention, only glared at Albus as she walked past him to take her seat next to Minerva.

Before Minerva could say a thing, the owl's entered the hall, many of them carrying Daily Prophet's. Narcissa swallowed visibly by the sight of them, and paled when she saw her husband, her beloved husband, on the front page.

Clothes from Azkaban, mugshots. A prison number in his neck. 'CAUGHT: LUCIUS MALFOY' read the title.

People looked up at her, glared and started shouting but she barely heard them. Minerva took her hand under the table and squeezed it tight, looking at her sadly.

Narcissa didn't start crying again until she was standing in front of Albus in his office. "You promised to keep him safe. You promised nothing would happen to him." She accused him, her voice thick through tears.

"Judging from your appearance, Lucius is a lot safer in Azkaban than he would be at Malfoy Manor." Was all he said.

She shook her head, not knowing where to start on her list of insults and curses. Instead she sobbed again and look up. "Bella mentioned Sirius, what about him?"

"Your sister almost killed him, almost. He's back at grimmauld place, safe and well." Albus smiled gently. "Is there anything else worrying you, Narcissa?"

Narcissa nodded, and sat down now. "The Dark Lord has given us an assignment. Me and Draco." She looked in his eyes, that seemed way to happy for this kind of conversation.

"Ordered to kill you."

OoO

 **So, that's it. Next chapter will be either in a few weeks, or it might take months again, I'm so sorry.**


	31. Family

**Okay a new chapter finally, I'm so sorry it takes so long every time…**

OoO

Narcissa didn't let go of Draco's hand all through the trial, squeezing it every now and then as she watched her husband. Chained down in a large chair, the dementors already waiting for him outside because everyone knew how the trial was going to turn out. Lucius would lose.

"All those in favour of conviction, raise your hand." The judge called out, and Narcissa and Draco were the only ones not to.

She stood up afterwards, causing everyone to look up at her as she spoke coldly. "A goodbye to my husband, if I may?" The judge nodded, and a few people looked at her with pity as she tried to keep her posture walking down to the middle of the room.

Lucius wrapped his arms around her and pressed her close against him, she felt a tear fall down at her forehead and looked up at him with tears in her eyes as well. He kissed her, carefully cupping her face with shaking hands and Narcissa started to cry as she kissed him back.

Then the dementors came and took him, and all she could do was watch. Watch, crying still, how the love of her life was being taken away to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban. Narcissa felt Draco coming up next to her, taking her arm, and she hugged him tight.

More she couldn't do. She wasn't allowed to care too much about her death eater husband if she was going to make people believe she didn't agree with his lifestyle. Protecting the boy in arms, and merlin only knew when he had gotten so big, was all that would matter.

Her mind briefly wandered to Alicia, who hadn't even been able to come to the hearing in order to not get noticed. She'd most likely find out about this through the prophet tomorrow morning, alongside everyone.

Draco got send back to Hogwarts, where she knew Blaise and the others would be waiting for him. Narcissa herself returned to the Manor first, where Rodolphus was sitting on a sofa together. He jumped up when she apparated in front of him and hugged her tight.

"Bella is upstairs, just got back from a raid…" He started worried and held her protective. "He won't be there forever Cissa, the Dark Lord will free him…"

When Bellatrix entered the room, Narcissa and Rodolphus were sitting on the sofa together, she joined them as she wrapped her arms around her little sister.

Narcissa was sobbing, her head resting against the man's chest as Bella held her close. She tried to comfort her, said all sort of things but Narcissa barely heard them. It didn't matter.

Lucius was gone.

OoO

A week before the beginning of the new schoolyear, Narcissa had made the necessary preparations to visit Alicia at the Burrow. Albus had made sure everything seemed like an order meeting, so she would be able to tell the Dark Lord that was where she'd be, but the only ones knowing about the meeting were Minerva, Albus, Bella and Roph, and of course the Weasleys.

"I want to come too!" Bella frowned about an hour before she'd leave. "I want to meet that mudblood girl." At Narcissa's glare she corrected herself, rolling her eyes. "Muggleborn."

Rodolphus grinned and carefully hugged his wife from behind. "As much as I'd like to see Weasley's reaction when you enter the burrow with two death eaters, doesn't seem like a great plan."

"It's not like they can do anything against us, if they call the aurors cissy goes to Azkaban too, and they don't want that."  
"Doesn't mean it's a good idea."

Narcissa watched them chuckling and shook her head. "Bella is right though… But it'd be too dangerous.." She said hesitatingly.

She had to admit she'd love for Alicia to meet her aunt and uncle, but to have the Weasleys in one room with Bella and Rodolphus seemed like asking for someone to die.

Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted by Minerva and Albus coming in through the floo. Both of them looked surprised at the company. Bella stepped back, glaring at them protectively, but Rodolphus grinned.

"Minerva, long time not seen…" He chuckled and Narcissa looked surprised when Minerva let him kiss her cheeks as a greeting.

The woman smiled politely and nodded. "Mr. lestrange… Never expected to see you back in person."

A few seconds of silence followed, suddenly interrupted by Bella's statement. "I'm going to come with Cissy. Roph too."

Albus frowned a little and looked from Narcissa to Bellatrix. "Are you certain that's a good idea?"

"Of course. They can't do shit against cissy or her family. If they call the aurors on us cissy will go to Azkaban too because she helped us and then you will have lost your spy. I want to see the mudbl- Kid that Cissy got. And I wanna scare the shit out of Weasley and co."

At that, Rodolphus started to laugh. "You're going to risk all of us for the sake of scaring that family?" At which Bella nodded.

Albus sighed softly and looked thoughtful for a while. "I suppose… In a way Lady Lestrange is correct, Molly will not call any aurors, and besides her family and Alicia and Devika, no one will be there." He mumbled and Minerva raised her eyebrows.

"Narcissa, how high is the chance that your sister will hurt someone there?"

She chuckled softly and looked at Bella. "With me and Roph there to keep her calm, very low." Bella grinned at her.

After a while Albus nodded and sighed again. "Then perhaps we'll take the chance."

OoO

They apparated into the burrow, where Alicia was standing in the livingroom with Devika and a few members of the Weasley family. As soon as she spotted Narcissa, the girl ran towards her and hugged her tight. "Mum!"

The moment got interrupted by Molly Weasley, who had walked inside as well and had seen Bellatrix and Rodolphus. "What are THEY doing here?!"

Narcissa closed her eyes for a moment and turned to her, at the same time Bella glared at the woman dangerously. "Seeing my niece. Fuck off Prewett." Rodolphus chuckled and took her hands carefully.

"Alright Bella, don't start fighting immediately."  
"Fuck off Roph."  
"Gladly, you wanted me to come."

She groaned in frustration and Narcissa chuckled. "No one would guess you two are even married in the first place." She looked at Molly. "Bella and Rodolphus wanted to come along to meet Alicia, their niece. Considering they have never seen her."

Alicia cautiously looked at the two of them, and Rodolphus grinned at her as he walked towards her. "Alicia, a pleasure. Rodolphus Lestrange."

"Alicia Malfoy." She smiled. "Mum told me so much about you and aunt Bellatrix…" She said a bit shyly, and he smiled at her.

"The good things, I hope?" Alicia nodded as a reply.

From behind Narcissa, Bellatrix was studying the girl curiously. "Seems awfully pretty for a mudblood." She mumbled frowning.

Rodolphus chuckled. "I'm afraid that's the closest it will get to a compliment." He grinned at his wife and shook his head "Still not a nice thing to say."

"Who said I was going for nice?" Was her response, winking at Alicia. "I said she's pretty, for a mudblood."

"Meaning you called her a mudblood."  
"Meaning I said she's pretty."

Narcissa rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "Stop acting like a child or you go back home, honestly Bella. Weasley, don't fight with my sister, merlin knows you wouldn't live to tell."

"Let's find that out shall we?"  
"Bella shut up."

Alicia, and the four youngest Weasleys alike, were watching the interaction chuckling. Bellatrix glared at them. "Or I start with the kids."

Narcissa stood up to look at her and shook her head sighing. "Bella, shut up now. Either shut your mouth and just focus on Alicia, or go back home." She hissed, and her sister rolled her eyes but nodded.

"Good girl." Narcissa sat back down and looked at Alicia. "Be lucky you live here for the time being, you don't wish to have this all day." Causing her daughter to laugh and grin at Bella.

"Her howlers were the best though, really." The Weasley twins said together, chuckling as they sat down as well. "And respect for you," George said to Rodolphus and Fred continued, "we would not have survived with her for fourteen years."

Rodolphus chuckled grinning and Bellatrix glared at him, angry he even dared to laugh at a comment like that. "After a year you learn how to ignore her voice, barely even hear it anymore." He grinned down at his wife, who slapped him.

"Fuck you, Roph."  
"How you'd love to."  
"Fuck off."

Alicia laughed out loud and looked at Narcissa chuckling. "I do think you and dad's marriage worked out a bit more successful."

Before Narcissa could answer, Bellatrix did. "Well, Cissy had the luck not to marry a gay man, that helped a lot."

"Usually that is quite the advantage in a marriage between a man and a woman, yes dear." Rodolphus chuckled and shook his head at Bella, who shrugged.

"Mum, your family is really weird."  
"Oh I know, you'll never get used to it."

OoO

The new schoolyear started, and Narcissa saw herself forced to bring a large supply of potions with her to Hogwarts, as well as orders to make more for Poppy.

The Dark Lord had inhabited Malfoy Manor now that Lucius was in Azkaban, which meant her house was filled with dark magic, and a lot of death eaters came and went.

Her nightmares had become a lot worse now that the men were there, doing whatever they pleased with her. Who was she, after all? Besides the wife of a failed death eater?

Ignoring the advice of her healer, she had taken to drink a dreamless sleep potion every night, along with a calming draught for specific classes, meetings with Albus, and conversations with Draco.

Minerva was more worried than ever, barely leaving her side. She was alone in this, as beside those who knew of the order hated her. Now that Lucius was exposed as a death eater, she had lost the trust of most in the castle.

Nevertheless, she attempted to the best of her ability to continue her classes as usual. Ignoring the comments about her, her husband, and now her son, that followed her wherever she went.

At some point, Hermione Granger came to her office, asking her all about the first war until Narcissa send her away coldly, though she knew the girl understood it was merely due to the memories those conversations brought.

She also spoke to Ginny Weasley, about what it did to her now that the man who possessed her was back. To Pansy, Daphne, and Tracey, about the upcoming war and their fears. And Blaise Zabini, who confided in her that his mother wanted to get out too. Out of the death eater's reach.

Aya Zabini, a childhood friend of Narcissa's, had visited her shortly afterwards for tea. The two had talked for a long time, and then scheduled a meeting with Albus and Minerva. She couldn't force the woman to stay in the Dark Lord's ranks, she knew Aya was forced to do things quite similar to herself.

As for Draco, she and Albus had come to a solution of sorts. As to not make the Dark Lord suspicious, Draco would make attempts to kill Albus, though not strong ones, that almost certainly would not work. In the end it would be Narcissa who killed the old man.

She received many letters from Alicia and Devika, a few from Lucius that she answered crying. Whenever she went home to Malfoy Manor, she didn't know if she'd be hurt or used or not, but couldn't stay away for the sake of Bella and Rodolphus.

Bella thrived from the war, she was excited and cheerful most of the time, grinned with joy whenever she got to hurt or kill. Rodolphus was a lot less excited, and Narcissa recognized a lot of Lucius in him now.

This was a lot different from the first war, when they had been two friends joining a powerful group of people, wishing to rule the world. They had grown up, found out what it was like and hadn't liked what they saw, and had no way of leaving now.

Narcissa liked to watch her sister and her husband when they were alone in their chambers, finding their interaction rather amusing. Bellatrix was loud, said whatever she had on her mind which lead to interesting conversations, and liked to force Rodolphus to cuddle her.

He on the other hand mostly kept his thoughts and feelings to himself, Narcissa knew, and often turned to alcohol instead of other people. But she also knew he only pretended to hate Bella's need for affection, because they both knew how much Bellatrix loved feeling in control.

Now they were sitting in Narcissa's bedroom with the three of them, she herself curled up in her armchair in a soft bathrobe, while Bella and Rodolphus were laying on her bed. She was laughing at their conversation.

"Honestly, try and wash your hair sometimes Bella."  
"Since when do you fucking care?"  
"Since you decided to press it in my face and force me to smell it."  
"Fuck off."

There was a short silence before Bellatrix continued again. "As long as you don't pull it while fucking me, you don't have a say over my hair."

"Bella, again, I'm not fucking you."  
"So you're also not pulling my hair."  
"How the fuck am I even supposed to answer to that?"

He looked at Narcissa exasperated and shook his head. "Your sister is batshit crazy."

Narcissa chuckled nodding, giving him a pitying look. "She is indeed, how I pity the fool that married her." At which he grinned, but pulled Bella closer to him nonetheless.

"By force, mind you."  
"Most men would've run by now."  
"And you should be grateful I didn't, and instead am helping you deal with this mess of a woman."

Bellatrix glared at him, but when she saw he was joking she grinned and rolled her eyes. "We're all a mess, one big fucking mess. Cissy is Cissy, I'm a murderer, you killed your brother. We're a mess."

Narcissa paled slightly, and she saw Rodolphus tense and move away from Bellatrix, who shrugged. "Sorry, too far?"

He nodded, but before he could say anything Bella had stood up shrugging and skipped out of the room. Narcissa stood up quickly and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry…" She whispered.

"Not like she's wrong." Rodolphus said shrugging, but she rolled her eyes and moved closer.

"I know enough of this game, stop playing it and admit she hurt you."  
"If you admit you're far more hurt by everything going on than you show."

They looked at each other for a short while and both sighed, staying silent. He hugged her carefully and Narcissa cuddled closer to him, closing her eyes. "I'm merely… Scared of how this will turn out. This was is nothing like the first one…"

Rodolphus nodded in agreement and held her protectively. "Me too."

OoO

 **Okay so this took so long again I'm so sorry… Anyway, if you liked it please let me know?**


	32. The murder

**Some day I'll post a new chapter on time, some day.**

OoO

Now that she was marked, Narcissa was send on more and more missions by the Dark Lord. Which at first seemed harmless, as far as that went, until now.

Together with Antonin and Rodolphus, she was standing in front of a family. One muggleborn witch, one muggle man, two young girls. One of them who was her student, a sixth year ravenclaw, one of them a muggle. Destined to die at her hands.

Antonin and Rodolphus really were only here for the dueling, the Dark Lord had deemed it fitting that she would be the one to kill these people. The Hogwarts' student looked up to her, glaring furiously with tears streaming down her eyes.

"We never should've trusted you! You're a liar! "She yelled, but Narcissa ignored her.

She casted the killing curse three times, and the girl's parents and sister dropped dead. Then Narcissa turned to her student, her expression cold and empty. "Indeed, miss. Sanders, it is a severe mistake of them to trust me. Such a shame you won't live to tell them, "she whispered, "avada kedavra."

Once returned to Hogwarts, she cried with the other professors and students, mourning the girl's death.

OoO

If he had been actually trying, her son could easily become a killer, Narcissa noticed. A cursed necklace, handed to Rosmerta and miss. Bell while he held both of them under the imperius curse. Oh how she cursed his talent.

First Katie Bell, then Ron Weasley, almost dead. But not yet Albus Dumbledore. He kept telling her it was not his time yet, he had things to do yet. But her time was running out, and with hers, Draco's.

It was now almost weekly that she would teach bearing the results of the Dark Lord's impatience on her body, though thankfully she had been allowed to at least hide them with glamorous as not to raise suspicion.

Meanwhile, she had also been assigned the task of teaching Harry Potter occlumency, as Albus was certain she could do it better than anyone. Her skill did almost match the Dark Lord's, after all.

The boy was sitting behind her desk, watching her a bit nervously. "Mr. Potter, last week we covered the skill of keeping one out of your mind. But there are other ways, such as showing the attacker a false memory.

This week we'll also be practicing on more painful memories, seeing as these are usually much stronger, they are also more difficult to shield away. Like last time, first you may attempt it on me and I show you how to defend your mind. This time I will let you see two memories, one of them false, one of them real. When you're done, tell me which you thought was real. Though be warned, neither of them is very beautiful."

Harry nodded, taking out his wand as he stood up and walked around the desk to face her. "What kind of memories, professor? If I may ask, of course. "

She smiled gently and nodded, "of course you may ask, Harry. You're to see them." Narcissa sighed softly, she had picked the real memory carefully though she still wasn't certain about it She had discussed it with Albus as well, and had come to the conclusion that this would definitely show Harry which kind of memory she meant for him to show her for this practice to work. Also for her to perhaps find out if her suspicions about his home life was correct.

'Two fragments of my youth. One of my mother, one of my father, it's your job to pick the fake one. Afterwards you'll tell me, and we'll discuss the ways one can see if the memory they see is fake or not. "

The Gryffindor again nodded, obviously surprised at her honesty, and she looked him in the eye to make it easier to perform the magic. Harry whispered the right spell, and she felt his presence almost immediately. Focusing on the false memory, she slowly guided him through her mind, careful to not let other things show.

 _"Father, let go of me! '" Narcissa Black yelled out, 11 years old as she tried to get out of her father's grip. The man slapped her across her face and her cheek colored red almost immediately._

 _The girl stopped fighting, instead she looked down and muttered a quick apology, but Cygnus wasn't done yet. When she looked up, she was met with an elbow in her nose and Narcissa bent over with a gasp, blood starting to fall onto the floor._

 _Her father let go of her at once, looking down at his daughter with a look of apology. "Call one of the elves to help you, Cissa. '" He said softly, then left the room quickly._

Narcissa could sense Harry's shock and confusion, but he continued to go through her mind and now she let him see the real memory. She tensed up slightly, though her student failed to notice.

 _13 years old now, Narcissa was sitting on her bed in front of a larger growing bloodstain. Sobbing, she only watched as the blood from the gash covering her face grew. Then her mother entered._

 _"Narcissa, believe it or not but there are people attempting to sleep in this house. " Druella snapped, at first ignoring her youngest daughter's state. "If your life is you dear, you shut up. "_

 _The girl nodded, biting down on her lip hard to stop sobbing, her mother continued. "Cygnus' work? Honestly, one day he's going to scar you for the rest of your life and who will marry you then?"_

Harry stopped the spell, looking at her with wide eyes. She glanced down for a moment then looked at her student expectantly. "So, which one was the real memory, and what gave it away?"

"Not to be rude, but the last one seemed exaggerated. But the first one was more... Vague. It was not really clear to see." Harry said slowly, and Narcissa nodded.

"It's important to remember that you must not base the realness of a memory on the content of it, that's a very untrustworthy method. The first memory was a false one, as you were saying it was difficult to see clearly. This is because the person whose mind you're reading is fabricating it at the same time, it's not a memory that's established in their brain. "

The boy nodded again, "but- the latter seemed so... Unreal as well."

"Which is the reason I picked it for tonight, I was quite certain you'd go for that one due to the sur realness of it. Though I can assure you, it's a real memory. '"

When she searched his mind, and he succeeded in showing her a fake memory, Narcissa discovered she had been right. Harry was abused, though when she dared ask about it, he shrugged it off as nothing important and left.

OoO

"He's doing his best, my Lord. Soon he'll succeed. " Narcissa whispered pleadingly. She was sitting on her knees before the Dark Lord, surrounded by a handful of death eaters who were at the meeting as well.

A cruciatus curse hit her chest and she screamed out in pain, though it didn't hurt as much as the expression on her son's face. Narcissa couldn't begin to imagine how it must feel to be forced to watch this. "You have a month, Narcissa. You know the consequences. " The Dark Lord hissed, stopping the curse after a few minutes. "Meeting is over. '"

She was helped up by Bellatrix, and saw how Draco was hugged by Rodolphus. "You better have a goddamn plan Cissy, the Dark Lord will kill you! '" Her sister hissed urgently, almost panicked.

"Don't worry, I do. It'll be fine, Bella, you'll see. Within a month, Albus Dumbledore will be dead."

Narcissa just hoped she could make that promise come true.

The following weeks, she was growing more tense and worried by the day, and most students noticed. She'd give more detentions than ever, took a lot more points, snapped at any unnecessary comment. Given the situation, the woman told herself she couldn't be blamed.

Three weeks, two weeks, one week left. One week until either she or Draco would pay for this failure with their life. Narcissa couldn't bear to think of losing her boy, also couldn't bear to think of what would happen to him if she died.

"Albus, one week. The Dark Lord is losing his patience, when will you be ready?" She almost yelled it, but the old man looked at her calmly.

"Tonight, Narcissa, I will take Harry Potter to find a horcrux. When we come back, we will be at the astronomy tower. I'd say it's possible for Draco to be waiting there. Tell me, Narcissa, will there be more death eaters?"

Narcissa nodded shortly, of course there would be. She'd never get out of the castle alive if there weren't. "Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Antonin, Amycus, Alecto, Aya. '" She answered, and Albus nodded.

"You must be the one to kill me. Not them, not Draco, do you understand?"  
"They won't, none of them would interfere with the Dark Lord's command." I'm not letting Draco become an assassin. "  
"That's decided then. '"

He stayed silent for a while, looking at Narcissa gravely. "I'm sorry I must ask this of you, Narcissa."

That sentence was enough to bring her to tears, as she looked at Albus and thought of everything he had done for her over the past 15 years. "Thank you, Albus. For - for everything. "

Narcissa whispered it, and was surprised when she was pulled into a gentle hug by the older man. She recalled the amount of times they had had tea with Minerva, discussing the students. The way he had testified for her and Lucius after the first war, saving them from azkaban.

She looked at him, tears still streaming down her cheeks, and he smiled at her. "Narcissa, listen to me. You'll be alright. I promised you. You can stop this war, even if your family is your only priority, you can stop this all and save them. In order for that to happen, you must kill me. And all I'm asking of you is to make it painless, and to not feel guilty over it."

A lot easier said than done, but she nodded slowly. "I will. '" Narcissa whispered, too tired and too overwhelmed to think of more to say, but Albus nodded in understanding.

She informed Draco who almost vomited at the realization, she informed Minerva who burst into tears, she informed the death eaters and was met with applause.

OoO

That night, she stayed up and wrote a letter to Lucius but ripped it apart as soon as it was finished. Minerva fell asleep in Narcissa's chambers, and Draco stayed there as well. She looked over at her boy every now and then, overwhelmed with guilt as she could only imagine what he must be feeling. "After tonight, we'll have Lucius back. '" Narcissa offered him whispering.

He only nodded in response, but his face relaxed slightly and he crossed the room to hug his mother tight. "That's the one good thing coming from tonight... '" He muttered against her chest, and she held him tight. Narcissa sat down on the sofa and he sat down next to her, cuddling close to her.

She could feel him shaking, trying so hard to stay strong for these few remaining hours. Narcissa kissed his hair, stroked his back and carefully pulled him even closer. "I'm so proud of you, dear Draco. "

After an hour, she was forced to stand up and wake Minerva. "it's time. "

It felt almost surreal, like the memory she had shown to Harry weeks ago, when she and Draco walked towards the astronomy tower. Narcissa lifted the apparation wards and almost immediately seven death eaters appeared around them. There were supposed to be six.

"What is that creature doing here? '" She asked in a dangerous voice, nodding at Greyback. A werewolf with a taste for children, walking around a school. This was not going to end well.

But there wasn't time to worry about that, there was the sound of voices up the astronomy tower and Narcissa knew it was Albus. At the same time, sixth and seventh years appeared. Among them Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom. Harry must've warned them before leaving.

"Take care of them. '" She ordered the other death eaters harshly, "and call the others, don't kill them. The Dark Lord will need as much of them as possible. Except the mudbloods." There was hurt on the expressions of the students when they realized she was not fighting with them, goal against them. And the first few curses were aimed towards her.

Narcissa easily defended herself, taking Draco's hand did she lead him upstairs. "And I will personally murder the fool who lets them up the astronomy tower, don't doubt that. '"

Up the tower, Albus Dumbledore was standing alone. Bellatrix and Aya followed her upstairs, and Narcissa took out her wand. "You're so foolish, old man. You had no idea, did you?" She said out loud, just in case any of the death eaters were able to hear her downstairs. "I've always warned you your believe in others would be your death. "

Bellatrix urged her to cast the curse, growing more desperate by the minute it seemed. Aya lead Draco carefully out of sight from the other death eater's downstairs, eyeing Narcissa as to say 'hurry up now.' And Albus gave an almost invisible nod towards her, taking a step back so he was almost touching the edge of the tower. "Narcissa, please. "

He begged it, to any outsider it sounded as if he was begging her for his life, begging her to spare him. Narcissa raised her wand and forced her face to remain as cold and indifferent as ever as she whispered "avada kedavra."

Bellatrix screamed in enthusiasm, immediately getting her wand to make the dark mark appear above the tower. Albus' body fell off of it, and immediately she heard people storming up the tower. Students and death eaters combined, among them Minerva.

"Albus Dumbledore is dead." Aya Zabini said in a clear voice, still holding Draco in a protective manner. Bella laughed and started skipping through the hall way, firing curses to anyone she could see. At first, no one but Bella moved, but then the fight burst out again.

She and the other death eaters apparated away as soon as possible, Narcissa hugged Draco tighter than she ever had when they were standing in Malfoy Manor again. There, the Dark Lord was waiting.

"I was mistaken in doubting you, Narcissa. You're far more capable than your foolish husband, it shows. "

Anger welled up inside of her at the insult towards Lucius, but she nodded and thanked him. The man continued. "Tomorrow evening, Lucius will return. This summer holiday, we'll take over Hogwarts. You'll be headmistress. "

OoO

Narcissa was sitting in her room, waiting impatiently for her husband, terrified something would go wrong at the very last moment.

She looked up when someone entered the room and immediately raised from the chair and practically ran to Lucius, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder.

Lucius breathed out her name and lifted her up, his arms wrapped around her lower back and she lay her legs around his waist for support. "Lucius... Oh Lucius..." Narcissa whispered, lifting up her head to look at him with tears in her eyes.

He kissed her, hesitatingly at first but soon passionately and almost needlingly. Narcissa shut her eyes and let him, before returning the kiss with the same kind of passion. She sighed and deepened the kiss as her husband cupped her neck gently to pull her closer.

"I've missed you so much, my Cissa."

OoO

 **I'm so tired but it's finished ^-^ I hope you liked it, please leave a review if you did!**


	33. Headmistress

**I think four months of no updates is kind of a record for me so far so that's something? Anyways it's all going to be going a bit faster in the next chapters and I'm planning to break most your hearts. Enjoy.**

oOo

Narcissa didn't go back to Hogwarts until the Dark Lord send her to take over the castle alongside other death eaters. It was a month and a half after she killed Albus and she had barely slept since then, kept awake by vivid nightmares of that fatal night.

Her hand gripped tightly around her wand she made her way into the castle, Rodolphus and Lucius on either side of her. She'd been chosen to lead the mission and before all the death eaters split up she hissed "don't kill any of them, the Dark Lord will want them alive for information. Any of you who fail to let them live will personally experience my wrath."

Students were ordered by Minerva to stay in their common rooms for safety, but Narcissa had to see none the less how two sixth years had failed to listen. They looked at her in pain and betrayal, and were killed by Amycus only seconds later.

She duelled with Pomona, then Minerva and finally Poppy. Only for show, she knew very well, and it didn't take more than two hours to have installed herself in the headmaster's office. Lucius stayed with her there and the others were send home immediately, ordered to inform the Dark Lord of the succeeded mission.

The following morning Rodolphus, the Carrows, Aya, and Dolohov had returned to the school on the Dark Lord's orders to make sure the castle would stay under their command.

Before going down to the Great Hall Narcissa stood in front of the mirror and made sure she looked the part. Pitch black but very elegant robes, wearing high heels and dark make-up. Her hair was done in a tight bun on top of her head, held together by black juwels. She was to look intimidating at first sight, not anymore the teacher they knew her as.

When she walked into the great hall with Alecto and Rodolphus on her side, Lucius was sitting on her old chair at the staff table and she knew her place was now Albus'. The students looked at her with pure hatred and fear, some yelled insults at her and a few had tears in their eyes but she didn't look at them any longer than necessary as she made her way to the table.

There she clapped her hands and looked over the hall, gesturing to the other death eaters to take place at the staff table. With a cold look in her eyes Narcissa smiled perfectly. "I believe it won't be necessary to explain what occurred last night, is it?

This school is under my command from now on, and that comes with a few new rules and functions. Amycus and Alecto Carrow will teach the dark arts from now on, the subject defence against the dark arts is cancelled. I doubt it will have any use anyway as of now.

Rodolphus Lestrange is the deputy headmaster, and all old teachers can choose whether they'll stay at the school or not but if they choose to stay they are of course expected to follow the same rules as students.

I expect every student to be in their common room before eight pm, gatherings of more than four people are not permitted any longer and quidditch won't be played anymore. Students can only go outside with special permission or to go to Herbology or Care of magical creatures.

Furthermore any violation of rules will result in severe punishment, which Alecto Carrow, Aya Zabini, Antonin Dolohov, Lucius Malfoy, and Rodolphus Lestrange will take care of."

oOo

She attended the next order meeting and gave them any information she could. She asked about Harry Potter but no one knew where he was. She argued with Molly Weasley and got slapped in the face before Alicia hugged her tightly.

Narcissa held her close, buried her face in her daughter's hair and whispered soft I love you's with tears in her eyes. Devika was given the same treatment as her wife and after the meeting had officially ended the two women took her aside.

With an excited and scared look in her eyes Alicia began "Mum, we have something to tell you. Promise you won't get mad."

With a slightly worried frown she nodded, not entirely sure what to expect now but Alicia quickly continued. "Devika's pregnant."

Momentarily at a loss of words, Narcissa only widened her eyes slightly and couldn't help but glance at her daughter in law's stomach. As expected she didn't see any sign of the woman being pregnant just yet, but she smiled as she looked in her daughter's eyes again.

As dangerous and difficult a pregnancy at this moment in war was going to be, the thought of having a grandchild brought a bright smile to Narcissa's face. "How far along, darling? And... On purpose or?"

"Ten weeks, the healer says." Alicia told proudly, but then smiled a bit sheepishly and shook her head. "No, not really."

Narcissa shook her head with a soft chuckle and hugged both of them tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. "That's rule number one, Alicia. Especially during a war, use protection." She whispered, laughing and kissing the woman's forehead when she blushed deeply. "Congratulations, my dear. Your father will be delighted."

Indeed he was, Lucius seemed like he was about to burst from happiness at the news and hugged Narcissa with a bright smile. They looked each other in the eyes and for a few moments couldn't begin to stop smiling.

He pressed his lips tenderly to her forehead and whispered "as difficult as this war is going to be, it won't last forever. And just think of the family we'll have when it ends."

oOo

Hogwarts wasn't Hogwarts anymore, Narcissa thought whenever she walked down the halls.

Hogwarts wasn't the safe place it had been in her youth anymore. It was no longer filled with laughter and students that practiced magic in the hallways and tried to sneak food into lessons.

It had turned into a castle where children were tortured in dungeons by other students, where detention existed of blood quills and cruciatus curses, where no one talked in hallways and everyone was scared of everyone else.

The worst thing by far was that she had caused it.

Everyone knew she had, and students made sure to avoid her whenever possible or run into her on purpose to shout insults at her and attempt to curse her. Narcissa played the act perfectly and tortured them instead.

The Dark Lord's punishments of her had stopped however after she had become head mistress, and now that she had Lucius back it seemed like the war was going to be alright after all.

Minerva hadn't talked to her again after the morning she had announced Rodolphus as deputy headmaster, and seemed to avoid her more than most students. Though she couldn't possibly blame her for it it stung greatly to know she had very possibly lost her.

Narcissa hadn't spoken to Andromeda nor Sirius again, and wasn't certain whether they were angry with her too or not. Again if they were she wasn't to blame them.

oOo

She'd woken up at Hogwarts from a particular bad nightmare, accidentally waking up Lucius as well in her panic who immediately wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her temple. "Hush, my Cissa. You're safe as can be love..." He whispered, carefully lifting her from their bed as she stood up.

"What happened dearest?" Her husband asked her with worry in his eyes, carefully putting a strand of hair behind her ear. Nacissa leaned into him and rested her head against his chest instead of answering the question and felt hot tears falling down her cheeks at once.

"Cissa..." Lucius whispered again, holding the trembling woman close against himself. "Cissa talk to me, alright? You can talk to me..."

With red eyes she looked up at him, wiping away a few tears from her cheeks despite the uselessness of the gesture, her face was almost immediately covered in them again. "I- It's feels so wrong, Lucius..." Narcissa spoke in a shaking voice. "It feels so wrong to be here, to be head mistress, when he should've been here in this office... I killed him.."

She swallowed visibly and took a step back, looking down as she hugged her waist tightly. "I killed him. He saved us after the war and I just killed him."

"He asked you to, Cissa. He told you to do that, that's nothing you could help." Lucius shook his head, taking her hand gently in his own to kiss it. "You saved our son by doing that, that's not something you should feel guilty about my love."

"Then why do I still feel so awful?"

Lucius couldn't answer that question to her and looked down momentarily before pulling her close once more. She gladly let herself be embraced, laying her arms tiredly around his neck and shoulders.

He held her like that for what felt like hours, and eventually her carried her in his arms back to the bed they shared. There she was pulled even closer towards her husband and curled up in his protective arms, soon enough falling asleep again.

oOo

The first time something rebellious happened at the school, at least something that the Carrows caught, Narcissa was called to Hogwarts in the middle of the night and she certainly wasn't happy to have to meet people in her nightrobes.

Though it wasn't the first time she was called late at night and therefore had at least made sure the robes she wore were as beautiful as could be, it felt a lot more exposed than her usual outfits.

Narcissa entered the headmaster's office -she couldn't bring herself to call it her own just yet- with loose hair and tired but very annoyed eyes that had Amycus shut up immediately when he tried to comment on her looks. Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom were sitting in front of the desk with what suprisingly seemed like the sword of Gryffindor.

She nodded at Alecto and took place behind the desk with a strict frown. "Explain." Was all she said in a cold voice, her eyes directed at Ginny.

A stuttered explanation followed that more or less came down to the fact that the three fools had wanted to help Harry Potter, despite not knowing where the boy was at this moment. Narcissa nodded once to silence them and then stood up looking at the Carrows with a smirk.

"I'll take care of them, Amycus and Alecto. It's been a while since I had the chance to do so, and since these morons are the reason I'm awake anyway... You can go now." The woman took her wand from her robes and turned back to the three now terrified students with a vicious look in her eyes. "Luna, dearest child, stand up would you?"

The girl obeyed with tears in her eyes and the Carrows nodded a couple of times as they quickly made their way out of the office. As soon as Narcissa was certain they were gone she put her wand away and sat back down. "Sit down Luna, what in Merlin's name were you three thinking?"

Neville glared at her with a hint of confusion and answered "unlike you we're trying to do something good in this war! Professor Dumbledore left Harry the sword of Gryffindor so he probably needs it, so we're getting it for him!"

Narcissa didn't comment on the first sentence though it stung slightly, wasn't she risking everything to save this war? "And you thought the way to get Harry Potter that sword was to steal it from my office and get tortured by the Carrows? If they hadn't decided to wake me instead of dealing with you themselves this night would've ended a lot different for the three of you boy."

"Why aren't you torturing us, professor?" Luna asked, big blue eyes looking into her own with an innocent smile that made Narcissa wonder how on earth she had survived the Carrows until this point. "That's why the Carrows called you right? To hurt us."

"You've restarted the defence club called Dumbledore's Army at the beginning of the school year, most of you are living of Desidirius' food in the room of requirement now to escape the Carrows and prepare for a fight that you are certain will happen. Every now and then members of the order of the phoenix also visit that room to keep you properly informed on what's happening in the war. Am I correct?"

The three of them stared at her rather perplexed by nodded anyway. "Professor, how-..." Ginny started and was cut off by Neville.

"Why haven't you done anything about it?"

Narcissa closed her eyes momentarily and stood up again, taking the sword from the desk and putting it back in its rightful place. They were right about getting that to Harry Potter, she'd have to think of a way to do so soon. "Because believe it or not, Mr. Longbottom, I am a part of the order of the phoenix as you very well have been told by others. That hasn't changed."

She looked at the three students and sighed softly, her eyes lingering on Luna for a little too long as she knew what plans the Dark Lord had with her already.

"Now leave the sword to me and go back to the room of requirement, you're doing brilliant work there."

oOo

"They're retrieving Luna Lovegood from her home now, I believe. She'll be kept at the manor won't she?" Rodolphus said when he walked into the room Narcissa was sitting in, sitting down next to her.

She nodded softly and shifted closer to him, smiling when he automatically wrapped his arm around her protectively. "People would think you a lot less intimidating if they saw you like this you know?" He commented with a grin, laughing when she elbowed him in his side.

"Which is why only you see it, it's easy regardless to intimidate you." Narcissa retorted smirking. "But as for the girl, she'll likely be put under your care. Don't be too hard on her, alright?"

Rodolphus shook his head and lifted her chin gently to make her look up at him. "Don't worry about it. I can't never hurt her of course, but I won't let her suffer too much. They put the old man under my care too, I can't promise you he will survive."

"I don't care about the wandwaker, but Luna is something different. She's... Innocent. For some reason even a war hasn't made her less cheerful and less kind, it's a miracle. I don't want to ruin that in the last phase of this war."

She couldn't quite explain her feelings about the young girl, perhaps it only was because she resembled herself so much when she had been that age with the pale blonde hair and bright eyes. Regardless of her reasoning, she just had to make sure Luna at least wouldn't be ruined under her roof.

"Don't worry about her, Narcissa. It's going-" He was cut off by an owl that flew into the room and almost flew into the two of them. It carried only a short, fast scribbled note around it's paw and Rodolphus was quick to take it off. His eyes skimmed over the note that only contained a few words but when he looked up at Narcissa his eyes were a lot more grave than they had been before.

"Alicia has been hit, she's at St. Mungo's. Critical." Rodolphus read out loud.

oOo

 **Next few chapters is basically going to be a lot of angst, if I get them up within a few months that is.**


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